X~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~X Okay, so here we go. Our first route, and we have no Pokeballs. Let's see what we're wasting. ...Nevermind, Baka-desu Barry is making us go to the lake. I swear to god if I have to encounter a wild pokemon here... ...And it looks like 'no'. Good. Barry keeps his head today. So running through the first route. Can I make it without encountering anyting?! First patch of grass- OK Second patch of grass- shit. A wild Kricketot appeared! "And nothing of value was lost." We get to the lab, and we're finally able to name Turtwig. I've named it Jomon Sugi, after this multi-millenia-old tree: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J%C5%8Dmon_Sugi And we get a Pokedex. Didn't see that one coming. So I go to the mart and pick up some Pokeballs. Yay~ Then I pop into some random house and watch TV And you know what's on TV? Some guy talking about how magical my fingers were as I was shopping That is literally the creepiest thing Are there cameras Can I sign a license form or know I'm being recorded or something holy shit all I did was buy pokeballs alert the press! oh wait you did As a note, this is actually the first time I'm playing this game in English, so this is kind of new to me. So we get to the grass of the route beyond Sandgem and our first Pokemon is... unsurprisingly, Starly! This is ok tho. We catch it. We name him Roc, uninspiredly. I am deliberately not going back to Lake Verity to catch something else. Although nothing that can ever be found there is particularly appetizing, neither is a Bidoof. Go figure the second thing we find in this grass is a Shinx >.> I remember only after getting through the whole of the route to check out our natures. Roc is... Relaxed, and Jomon Sugi is... Mild. Well neither of those are great... Whatever. I now also remember why I don't check natures usually- it leads only to disappointment :I Maybe there's a larger interpersonal issue there. I'm trying to be smart and look at where I have the best chance of encountering what Pokemon, and I'm running into a different problem: I don't -like- hardly any Sinnoh Pokemon. For whatever reason, almost everything Gen IV introduced to me feels dull and grey. Like I acknowledge their decent designs, but, ick. Ick, ick, ick. There are, of course, some exceptions but on the whole... ...Anyway, I'm going to stop cherry picking rates. I've decided to leave Route 218 open for later, but I'm pulling out Route 204. Aaaaaand it's a Bidoof. Insert flattening trombone noises here. I'll catch it anyway and name it Derpy. Next up is the Ravaged Path. And the winner is? Zubat. Female. Well of course it is. But you know what? That's fine! It's going to be very reminiscent of Mina... But we catch it. Mina followed Soma, and were both named after Castlevania characters... Let's follow that pattern through. This Zubat will be Yoko. Derpy is... Serious nature, which is somewhat ironic. I'm suddenly imagining a Bidoof in like a business suit and tie. Yoko is... Gentle. That's fine, I guess. Route 203? Loljk we have X~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~X RIVAL BATTLE X~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~X I'm thrilled, really. B: Hey! Amie! Tell me you got a little tougher! A: I got a little tougher. B: Me? Do you even need to ask? Of course I got tougher! A: I didn't need to ask... Which is why I did not, in fact, ask, B: Come on! I'll demonstrate it to you! A: Must you? Barry sends out Starly! Fortunately I know because of Roc it doesn't have Wing Attack yet. We'll use Jomon Sugi here. Jomon tackles, Starly growls. B: Don't get cocky! This isn't over yet! A: On the contrary we just started, so??????????? Tacklegrowltacklegrowltackle Starly is KO'd well THAT was challenging Barry sends out Chimchar! Roc is up now. Chimchar outspeeds and uses Scratch. But we're A-OK and Wing Attack back. Chimchar uses Leer; defense falls because Big Pecks isn't a thing. Wing Attack. B: My Pokemon's running out of HP. Things could be tight here... A: Could be? No, this is good night here. Quick Attack and Chimchar is KO'd. Roc levels up too! B: What just happened? I lost?! A: Yes. B: Waah! What do you mean I lost?! A: I mean you are out of usable Pokemon and shortly must scurry to a Pokemon center. B: Well that's it! That's the last time I'll ever lose! A: ok B: I'm going to be the world's toughest Trainer, and you know it! A: ok barry B: The first thing to do is take on the Oreburg City Pokemon Gym! A: yes, you do that barry, with your fire and you flying type. you beat that rock gym. B: I'm gonna toughen up for that, totally! A: ok barry. good bye. ...Wow I actually didn't think he'd leave when I said goodbye. I mean, not that I'm complaining... Kay, so Route 203. Pokemon? inb4 something I already have Aaaaaand it's a Bidoof. Sigh. There were at least two actually cool things I could have gotten here too, but we're going to kill this instead. Once again, the second thing I find is a Shinx. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Cannot be enough R's there. All right. Oreburgh Gate. Hoping for a not-Zubat here. You know how I said I would stop looking at rates? I lied. And I can tell you as a result I'm not going to find a Geodude. Because that's a 5% chance, where it was an 80% chance in DP. HOWEVER I do find a Psyduck and THAT is actually okay. Roc uses Tackle- and holy god it's a critical hit no wait it survived we are OK. And boom. For a nickname... Because of Psy, I was going to name it Gangam, but this is a female, so that doesn't quite feel fitting. However, I'll name it after the female K-POP star that appeared in Gangam Style, Hyuna. Incidentally, I know someone who's cat is named after the same singer, and I can't help but I feel like I'm insulting her cat... Oh well. Hyuna is... Sassy. Could be worse I guess. I shudder to imagine a Sassy Psyduck though. Comes out of its Pokeball at all the wrong times. Whenever it doesn't want to do something it just pretends it has a headache. I'm pretty sure Misty's Psyduck was secret sassy. A random trainer: "I'll beat you with the MAGIKARP my dad gave me!" Some people are destined for greatness. Others are destined for gas stations. Route 207? Something I don't have, please! Well, Machop. I was hoping for Ponyta, but I guess that's fine. Actually, that's totally fine. Machop acquired. Nickname... We're going to be uncreative because it wont' matter. Just gonna call it Anti-Roark. Oreburgh mine, and what's it going to give me? A Geodude! Jesus, these trade-evolve Pokemon are going to be the death of me. Nickname for a rock... Actually. The first thing I think of when I think of Geodude is Abraham Lincoln. I am legitimately prepared to ship a few hundred $R in the direction of anyone who gets the reference. woah the inside of the mine is a lot prettier than i remember. And so because basic abilities such as attacking rocks require badges in this game, we found ourselves at the Oreburgh gym. I've got three Pokemon SE against Rock, so I'm not even going to bother training for this. X~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~X AMIE vs. ROARK X~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~X What kind of a name is Roark anyway riot pls R: Welcome! This is the Orebugh Pokemon Gym! A: I gathered... R: I'm Roark, the Gym Leader! A: Gathered that, too... R: But I'm one trainer who decided to proudly walk with Rock-type Pokemon! As the Gym Leader, I need to see your potential as a trainer! A: Actually, if their only gauging potential, that may explain why gym leaders use so low-level Pokemon. Hm. I'll accept that. R: And I need to see the toughness of the Pokemon that battle with you! A: Yeah yeah... Roark sends out Geodude! Hyuna is up first! Water gun. Roark sends out Onix. Onix uses Stealth Rock! Glee. Water gun Aaaaand Rorark sends out Cranidos. For this, we'll switch to Anti-Roark, who takes a little bit of damage, but that's fine. R: Think you can take down the next Pokemon like you did earlier? A: I don't expect to since it doesn't have a 4x weakness, no. But it'll go down. Cranidos uses Headbutt! Anti-Roark flinches! Well. I had not planned on it being faster, and I certainly had not planned on the flinch. And further, turns out the 2 damage I took from stealth rocks may actually be the difference between life and death here. I'll use a potion to get a better sense of the power of that headbutt- it did 20 damage, but that may have been a top-range hit. Anti-Roark recovers. This time Headbutt does 19. You know what, that's fine; let's try one more time. Potion; That time it does 21. Well fuck. I'm going to lose something one way or another. Maybe. Checking out my Pokemon, despite Jomon Sugi being a lower level, it has a higher-defense than Anti-Roark, and just a few fewer HP. Okay... Let's try it. It loses 4 HP from stealth rocks coming in, and takes 17 from headbutt, but you know what? That works. Recover Jomon Sugi. Headbutt. It now has enough health to actually survive an attack, so we can rettaliate. Headbutt. ...Jomon Sugi flinched. Are you fucking kidding me. Okay. Well, fortunately we have a super potion I found earlier. I'll use that, and try this again. Headbutt. It would also be okay if you missed headbutt once in a while. But I was planning to use that Super Potion for a safe second hit; I think there may be no way for me to win this without losing someone now. Headbutt. Jomon Sugi flinched. ... Well now I have no choice but to hope it misses or does something besides Headbutt. Potion on Jomon Sugi. Headbutt. Potion. ...Pursuit! Okay, we may have an opening. Potion. Headbutt. Um, actually, I still don't have the HP to get an attack in. Potion. That was the last one. Headbutt. Still doesn't miss. ...Oh, it has 100% accuracy. And a 30% flinch rate. For some reason I thought it was 90 and 20. Wellllllll. Jomon Sugi has 18 health. Cranidos was faster than Machop, which is strange because I thought Cranidos was really slow. But that also means it's faster than everything on my team bar Roc. Which in other words, means I lose. Well. Now my best bet is that I can let Jomon die, chump Lincoln or something while I recover Anti-Roark, and hope Anti-Roark can OHKO it. Headbutt-- Jomon Sugi lives with 1 HP! ...He gets off Razor Leaf! But will it be enough oh my god it's a fucking critical hit CRANIDOS IS OHKO'D that was divine fucking intervention right there I burned 7 potions and a super potion in first gym and still legitimately thought i was going to lose the whole challenge here and now but bloody miracle oh my god i wow anti-roark levels up; you know what you learn foresight i dont care if its a shit move you do whatever the fuck you want honey R: W-what? That can't be! My buffed up Pokemon! A: I'm... as surprised as you are. In my defense it was three out of three well-timed flinches that put me in that position in the first place but holy-fucking-crap lesson learned if I'm considering training or not, DO IT. R: This is embarassing. A: You're telling me... R: I went and lost to a trainer who didn't have a single gym badge... A: ...Well if it makes you feel better I'll be the Johto region champion in a few years kind of maybe R: But that's tough. You were strong and I was weak. That's all there is. A: And I had eight potions. R: According to Pokemon League rules I have to give you our gym badge since you've beaten me, the Leader. A: pls R: Here's your official Pokemon League Coal Badge! A: Oh, glee, it's just like Christmas. im still somewhat in shock I don't think I would have won without that crit I wow