Amethyst

..Okay. I accept that you guys appreciate a challenge, and that is in some sense what Reborn is here for, and that's lovely. But there's a fine line between being challenging, and being over the top. Noel crossed that line.

..Yes, yes, sorry.

The script doesn't work for Doubles... yet. I'd also like to be able to put more lines like this in a la B/W because they are cool, and even in the online league every leader had lines for each trigger.

Noel has historically been way too strong. The goal with the recent changes was to weaken him. I'm also holding back some things for future Normal-type battles. Also not all of his Pokemon run HP Fire.

That's a reference to our old user Will, who was the person who originally created Team Meteor. His character in his Reborn story traveled with his version of May.

Yeah, there isn't a canon time period. This is somewhat true even in main series, so I write under the assumption that it could be practically any amount.

I'm moving this back public as a sort of exception, since... taunting the world in revenge doesn't do any good if the world can't see it. :]

I WILL NOT GIVE IN. The creator last said that the possibility was back on the table, and we know that that company is unveiling a new game soon. It's not confirmed to be ZE3 or otherwise, but. We have to have hope. </3

Rather, when the player returns to the city.

Operation Bluebird! We need our Mars Mission!

Exactly. I don't want the jungle to feel tranquil. You get abducted by Pokemon and locked up in a cage deeper in the woods where you quite frankly have no idea where you are and after Fern leaves you've got a sinking feeling you may not get out of. Not exactly a day at the spa, you know?

It was obtrusive, annoying, pitch-changed from something else, and 0% suited the intended mood for the jungle. I only used it in the first place out of a lack of having anything better.

All right, let's start with the purpose here. I don't know if you were writing to a specific style but given the length I'll assume traditional flash fiction. Now, the purpose... to me is not entirely clear. GotWala says it's a real message, but I don't see one. In fact, I don't think we even have a clear conflict or character arc here. Purpose aside, the conflict/character arc is somewhat universal, so let's start there. So character arc is kind of important. By its very definition, a protagonist has to change throughout a story. The story is then a narrative frame for how that character changes. It doesn't have to be good, or bad, but it should be linked to the central conflict, and it should be tangible. The motivation and change of the character is what keeps a story interesting. So how does Nona stack up? Well, in the first place in order to have clear growth, one has to have a clear starting point. We need to know who Nona is at the beginning of the story so that we can compare her to how she is at the end. Nona's narration is very distant; she has to manually decide to smile. She thinks about how she's supposed to act rather than how she actually does. We see a character who is stuck inside her own head, and just about as detached from the world around her as a character can practically be. This is very well done for establishing this kind of character trait. Now we get down to the line ...however, my eye doesn't catch my knight in shining armor on one knee. Once again, she is describing her senses rather than experiencing them as part of them, but this 'knight in shining armor' business... I can't tell if she's being facetious or what. On one hand, she consistently sounds pretty ambivalent to this guy, if not annoyed by him, by the Again near the start. After this line, I am completely confused as to how we're supposed to understand the relationship between her and David. This upcoming line does little to help that: I lied, flawlessly shelving my disappointment of there being a reservation ...or was I even upset at all? Whatever, my pain wasn't important at the moment.. So, on one hand she's disappointed enough to call it pain, but on the other she's not upset? This doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Then end in the end, we have some kind of dawning moment that seems to break through Nona's complete and utter detachment. This has to be the emotional climax, when she realized the mother allowed the ring to be passed onto her. So ideally, it should be at this point that the character changes. For better, for worse, but it needs to be a visible change. What is the effect this episode had on this person's life? I don't see anything clearly to answer that question right now, but if I had to pick something out I would say that it makes her a little bit less distant? On one hand the closing Touche is a fairly pointed and involved remark. That's the most energy we've seen her express in the entire writing, which for an ending note, is a good thing. On the other hand, we continue to see her distantly deliberating on her action in I had to allow him to ramble while I decided if I was really sorry for his loss. Contrast this against a slight rephrasing such as, "I allowed him to ramble as I decided if I was really sorry for his loss." In the first, she continues to act out of obligation-- nothing has changed. In the latter, she is acting clearly of herself.' So in summation I don't think I can say we have a clear character arc. We start with a detached girl, with a questionable relationship, who has a revelation about this bitchy old woman... and then continues to be somewhat detached. We can do better. Allow me to take some creative liberties here for the sake of example. Let's say our goal is to make this a well-defined arc. We'll start with a girl who's distant. She'll get a ring indirectly from a woman who hated her, which will cause her to change to be more engaged with the world around her. I'm going to continue this critique operating under that as a presumed goal. Now, as much as it is a result of the climax that changes the protagonist, the climax only occurs because of a certain conflict. Therefore the conflict needs to lead the character to that change. This works out nicely because conflict, along with liking a character, is the best way to get a reader involved in a story. So here's our problem, and I alluded to it earlier: you don't actually introduce any tangible conflict until about a third of the way through your text's length. I would say the it isn't until the line ...however, my eye doesn't catch my knight in shining armor on one knee that we as readers actually know for a fact that something is wrong. We get the impression of it before from Nona's general attitude, but this is where it becomes clear. ...The thing is, if you wait until a third of the way in to introduce your conflict, you don't have as much time to develop it. More important, conflict is the hook. You need that conflict immediately to keep readers interested. On the internet most people won't read more than a sentence if they aren't immediately engaged. If you get into more traditional writing fields then it's a market necessity. You have to grab reads right away. So let's look at your opening paragraph. We get the rain, we get the day, we get a taste of the setting and culture, and we are told that the narrator is not alone when she usually is. To be frank, none of these things are particularly commanding. In fact, the rain, and the common lack thereof may as well be completely worthless; they aren't relevant to the story after this. In flash fiction, every word counts; there's no room for useless details. Even in any fiction or writing, the same is true for the opening. Capture the reader immediately; you don't have time to waste describing running out into the street-- if that's important, which it doesn't seem to be-- then it can come later. The take-away is this: Start with the conflict. It's your best chance for a hook. In this case, let's say that in a sentence you're able to pain the picture of a guy presenting a ring to a girl without proposing. Right there, we know something's weird. That's all it takes to make a conflict. If you start with that scene, you're going to be able string a whole lot more people along. So we have an arc for structure, and we've set our conflict at the start and our reader is interested. Now that you've got them hooked, you can tease them a bit. Step back and give them whatever exposition is necessary. I still would not include the details about the rain or standing in it. They don't benefit the story, but this is where you put the things they need to know. For instance, you might introduce it as Christmas Eve still (which, by the way, does not actually seem like a good choice either-- proposing on Christmas Eve may be cute and all but it subverts the intensity of the situation. Getting a felt box on Christmas could still be just a Christmas present; getting a felt box on September 26th or whatever has a lot more immediate pressure to it) or describe the revelation of the said box leading up to the point of the opening disconnect. Or, even better, trail into some story about David's mom immediately. Let's take a look at your apparent climax. So David drops this huge bomb that OH this person just died this morning WOW. For one thing I question why he continues to choose that day to propose. That seems a little odd. More importantly, so he drops this bomb, and then the action comes to a screeching halt as you have to stop the action and explain what kind of mess the mother was. This is a huge speed bump in your mood. So now we have a convenient solution. So you have a window to provide your exposition in, and you have exposition that needs to be provided. Let us learn about the mother well before we need to. Put that gun on the table so we can fire it later. Let the tension in the story develop so that we as an audience feel this looming threat of the mother's disdain throughout the text so that, when we learn she's dead, we at once celebrate with Nona, and are taken aback that she would do something that we've come to learn is clearly out of character with her. At that point, this moment will feel impactful enough that we believe it changes Nona. Follow through and show us that change, and then this will feel like a cohesive narrative and worthwhile story. There is a bit more I could say, but the least, there are some key points to keep this, or any future work, on task and it is important to iron out the structure before building in the details.

I'm on board with the other forms, but what's going on here? The Garbodam is great and red leaves are fine I guess, but I'm confused what the blue-ground is supposed to be? Darkrai is looking good now. If no one has a better concept idea we can go with that. That Gallade's the winner. There are a few stray pixels here and there that look a little off-- granted it may be that way in normal Froslass's sprites, but we can throw darker shades on those spots to smooth it out. That said, I like how this looks currently but I also acknowledge the comment about the white-body Froslass being better too. Perhaps we can try the purple/pink colors on a white body? Carnivine is set. Red saturation for Garchomp is a little intense still, but that's whatever. Do we like Black/Red or is there something else we want to try? Personally I think if anything's gonna be Black/Red, Garchomp's a strong candidate. Can we make the blue on chingling's tails blend to the red a bit better? Maybe just by making those bits of blue darker. Purple Cherrim line is neat; I do still think the Cherry/Poinsetta colors are too good to pass up though. For the Turtwig lines of the world: I don't think full pink (you never go full pink.) or having only the bonzai tree pink is the way to go... This is gonna be tough. Let's try... Keep the brown parts as they are, the tree becomes pink. Try the green on its shell as a magenta, and the green on its body as an autumn red. This way Torterra kind of becomes more colorful transitioning from brown to pink as we move upwards. Once we get Torterra set we can make the pre-evos accordingly. Toxicroak looks good. The red on the palkia is SUPER intense and doesn't blend well. Not sure that's what we're going for. For Pidove, I think we need these shades to be closer to a neutral gray. For Staraptor, the blue can be more expressed. For Starvia, maybe we choose segments that stay grey, and a couple that start to turn blue. Let's make the currently maroon-ish parts of Lucario a little more colorful and a little lighter. As it is the dark shade of that color currently meshes poorly being lighter than the light shade of its black segments. That's a mouthful. For the aura, normal lucario has a blue Aura, so if our shiny is red-ish or maroon, then the aura should be a color around there too. Magmortar and Penguin line look great. Rotom... does surprisingly well with a dark body. We could be completely generic and keep the body black and have the electricity color change as normal per form? I do still think it makes more sense for the electricity color to change, rather than the body color, on principle. Bronze-ong... huh. Well that's pretty obvious, I guess. I thin I'd like to see a little more contrast in bronzong's front sprites, maybe lighter light shades so it kind of looks like it has shine. Pun aside, do we prefer this to silver? I also agree the eyes shouldn't stay yellow- that blends in too much. The red on Bronzor is all right. Let's try that and Cyan as suggested? ...well, I... screenshoted the hover blurb. gg me. Aside from that, let's try switching the red and black here. I'd also say jack up the saturation for the red. This thing is like a lava tank, so it can really #blaze it. Pink parade is pretty passable. Super Saiyan infernape has a lot going on. I don't think the blue is going to work out, but we can make the blue parts the white from its chest. Then the face... I can barely see the eyes as is because they're falling in with the other light colors. What can we do to get some distinction going there? Golden Manaphione are okay. I don't know if I get the logic, but do we like it? Is there something better? In all, Gallade, Toxicroak, Carnivine, Buneary Line, Shaymins, Penguin line and Magmortar accepted.

u wot. that would be an error. probably left it there from testing... awkward.

Then you're not playing the updated version. This was broken by the Essentials update and is noted in the Readme.

Purple is better. Not sold on the lightblue though. I also feel like it kind of fades between the two poorly, but also that's just Rotom. I also agree that we should keep the colours per form... in fact that's mentioned in the original post. Out of respect for the work you do I'll ignore the heresy in the second half of your post. Darkrai's outline has a brightness of 24. The dark blue shade has a brightness of 11. If we make sure that the outline is darker than the color contains, fix the shades and saturation a bit, which is fairly standard stuff, we get something like this. I like the new Spiritomb best. Maybe try Gallade with the black color on the helmet then, since it's supposed to be darker? Arceus is great, thanks. Do we prefer black Lucario to red Lucario? Aura is solid. For Froslass, I like the purple-on pink one best. I also liked the blue/red one before although that was admittedly pretty similar to the chimecho we had.

Purple below red is correct. I've been kind of inconsistent about this in the past; I'll be sure and sweep through and fix the other instances. Sorry about that. I also didn't even think about it for these sprites, good catch. Could you update Arceus Drifloon/blim and the Metagross line accordingly please? I call Budew garbage because it is garbgage. But those sprites and for Roserade look good. Giratina and Dialga too. Darkrai still has the outline problem. Which Spiritomb/Gallade do people like better?

Loves me... Loves me not... Loves me! Welcome! So you do art commissions? Traditional or digital or what?

That's the same as Reborn; use the F1 Menu.

Saturation on the red should be decreased and the contrast increased. Is this the popularly prefered concept for Garchomp? Do people like this brown color? If not, what could be used instead? The whites' contrast can be increased, and the shades of the yellow part should be worked on-- decrease the darker shades' saturation and increase the overall contrast. We'll try to do something more unique for Staraptor. Go ahead and try garbage's Budew's face white. Make sure the legs are the same color on both facings- one seems redder currently. For Roserade, let's try keeping the hair and under-mask part of the face white, but make the presently white parts of the body a grey, and the collar a deeper red. Looking good. Let's make Drifloon's feet white though to not get too crazy for now. For Drifblim, let's differentiate the yellow shades at the bottom more. The darker shade should be tinted closer to orange, as is the case for any darkening yellow shade. It can also be a little darker. On Drifblim's 'nose' some of the black outline pixels stand out a bit, can we pick up some dark colors to make that look a little smoother? Spiritomb doesn't look bad. I think I like the first one better though. Does anyone have a concept they like better or shall we go with this? I kind of also want to try the face being white and the pearls red instead. This Garchomp has some shading/contrast/saturation issues. I think the other one is more likely. Pirrhana plant Carnivine is golden. Slap a backsprite on that and call it a day. Leafeon is set. Porygon was already crossed off- I managed to save that one. Gallade looking good. Before I put it in, can we also try putting the purple spike color up into just the upwards-extending part of its 'helmet'? It's looking a little bland to me right now and I think that might help. Loving the Giratina concept (predictably, ame.) Are those blue-based blacks? If not, they should be. Also the shading of the tendrils on Origin forme should be cleaned up a little bit, it looks to be a different saturation and the backsprite light shade is too light. This was the original Rotom concept and I've since decided I don't like it as an idea... What else can we try? Darkrai's outlines should be darker than its shades, not the other way around. Dark shade of the hair is too saturated. Dialgo looks all right, but not 100%. I think it's because metallic is usually blue-based instead of red-based shades. If we try black on blue like the new concept says I think this might work out better. So far so good. Let's make the green spots on the front of its whatever that once-yellow thing is white instead. I also want to do something with its eye because the green looks weird there too. White will probably be fine since the body is black. Then either make black or darken the red part of the eye. I googled Lunar Rainbow but wasn't quite sure what to make of it-- what would that look like exactly? This looks pretty all right. I think I want the grey parts white instead. The shades of the collar also need more contrast. Same for Floatzel. Notice the difference in saturation between the front and backsprite. That should be correct. Let's give both this and Lucario eyes again. Lucario also still needs aura (Riolu doesn't). Currently not concerned with Mega Sprites; that may be an affair for a different day. Decrease the saturation of the blues for everyone in this line. Let's try the grey as white. Increase the contrast for shades in Chimchar's tail flame. The yellow stands out- let's find a different color. Also make sure that grey areas don't have a coloured outline, highlighted as such. The back sprite doesn't seem to have this issue. The shades of the collar of the backsprite require more contrast. Same applies about the yellow for Infernape, but the white/grey is appropriate here. For snover, let's keep the brown part of the body from the normal sprite the same, and make what is originally white green, and what is originally green, white. When Abomasnow comes around, same principle but keep make the originally-green feet brown, and make the green spike son its back colored like ornaments. Keep it up everyone!