Oscarus

I don’t know why I’m writing this. I usually give a wide berth to personal advice or comfort talk because many kinder, more empathetic, more eloquent, more reasonable, more insightful people write it better than I can, and I don’t trust myself to strike the right chord. 

But here, I guess the worst-case scenario is that you decide that at least you’re not as bad as I am. 

First things first: it’s universal of to have issues, and want to talk about them – if not to a person who can understand you, then shouting about it from the rooftops or writing them on the walls… 

Second: everyone needs human contact. Even those who used to think they didn’t – I should know, I’m one of them too. It’s not victimhood, just about a need about as deep-rooted as food or shelter. Do you know the rule of threes? About surviving three minutes without air, three days without water and three weeks without food? I read about a fourth “three” lately: three months without social contact. 

I hardly know anything about your personal situation, but you might need to cast a wider net, as I struggle to believe that everyone you have ever met was as base as you described. 

As far as I understand, the prevalence of mental health issues in students (I think you’re one) has skyrocketed from an already high baseline. So I guess the main takeaway from this part is that you’re not alone, and other people struggle with similar issues.

I wish I had material advice to help you “snap out of it”. I suppose that the best way to prevent your life from being repetitive is to just do something new or unusual – but that’s not that much help. Maybe something outside, one way or another? While you can find a lot of excellent content on youtube or different derivatives on other parts of the internet, these coping mechanisms may be insufficient, perhaps because they’re too passive. 

While boredom may be fought (for instance, by seeking out novelty – be they books, shows, topics of interest, content creators on social media, challenges, IRL projects…), I don’t really have any advice on the topic of insensitivity or being straightforward.

Finally, regarding the behaviors that you’re accusing yourself of: I think you should keep in mind that you’re obviously not in the best frame of mind to judge yourself.

Spoilers are a blunder, as are a lack of answer or just acknowledgement to well-wishers (Jan 4th is still completely fine in my book though), but it’s nowhere near the end of the world. “Being serious” is not particularly unpleasant behavior, neither is “being overall silent” – lurking is fine! I have little to say these days too (TOOO is quite stuck, I’m not very good at the game and the rest isn’t really worth talking about). 

As to deaths… I think it’s fine to not sink in grief every time someone slightly famous passes away. It’s sad, certainly – but it’s usually not unexpected, nor do I think it should be incapacitating. If they didn’t mean much to you, why should you mourn them any more that the other, less famous, dead of the day? And how could we keep going ahead if we’re mourning each day the dead of this day? So I think it’s fine to be unaffected – so long as you’re considerate to those who aren’t, regardless of the reason. 

Happy new year, and I hope that you get better. 

*Internet hug from a fellow introvert*

Edit: At least people acknowledge you exist. Sometimes it feels like people purposely ignore me..