It's no problem. It's something interesting to put my mind to.
Ha, she doesn't want you to be overbearing but when you give her some space she gets anxious cuz you aren't taking the lead like you used to? It sounds like trying to crack a safe, you gotta listen closely and feel out the right combination.
I feel like part of this recent situation is partly on your mutual friend. You didn't invite her directly and the friend probably neglected to say that you wanted her to come. She probably got scared off thinking you didn't want her around since she didn't get the direct invite and it would be weird for her to show up after the recent strain and misinterpreting space as being standoffish and upset.
The letter sounds like a good idea to me. Getting your thoughts together and hammering 'em out into words that say want you want to say, no more and no less, will indeed be an easier way of both delivering the message accurately as well as not pressuring her to come up with a suitable reply right away. Hmm, handwritten is a nice touch, but I do recommend typing out a draft first before committing it to ink.
And as for the delivery, I have a suggestion. Don't just hand it to her. Give it to your friend to hand it to her. But have them say something like "This is from someone who really likes you and I think you should read it." If she asks who it's from before reading it, you friend should simply say read it and she'll find out. I imagine the gist of your letter will be to the effect that you wanted to give her the time and space she seemed to need and that you haven't given up on her or your relationship with her yet. You have your own feelings and viewpoint you can share to help her understand your situation, but the bottom line is that you want to figure things out with her. I think that between your friend saying "someone who really likes you", reading it to see that it's you and you aren't upset with her but trying to support her, and the semi-mysterious build-up may hit an emotional, romantic spot. It's almost like you're asking to court her again. Which really you are. Maybe one of the ladies of reborn can chime in on how they think they'd react to a letter and setup like that.
Other than that, if you're going to go eat out or do something fun (either by yourself or with other friends as well), text her and tell her she should come along if she's free. It sends a couple of messages. One, is that you're still gonna live your life and be you, whether or not she's a part of it. You know, without her, you're still your own person. But message 2 is that you still want her to be a part of it, that you aren't avoiding her or upset. You get to play it cool but inviting, while she gets an easy out if she's still feeling anxious about things. Did you find some new place to take her? "Hey, I gonna try out this restaurant I've never been to. If you're free, wanna come with?" Going with other friends might make it feel like less pressure since it won't be a one on one situation. It won't get you the full resolution of the serious talk that you want, but you wanna re-build that comfortable feeling between the two of you again without pressure so you can get there eventually. Keep it cool and casual. Give her some honest complements and try not to over-do 'em. You're affectionate, not obsessive.
What do you think?
PS- I didn't expect it, but Kubo has a love story aspect to it that makes it pretty good for a date movie. JS.