Thinking back, I can't remember too many proud moments off-hand. What comes up are the bad choices.
Not taking my last class in college seriously. It ended up biting me in the ass.
Not running on my own during airborne school or SOPC hold. I probably would have had a good shot at SF if I had. I hate cardio. Knowing I wasn't in the shape I should've been was the reason I didn't fight the bogus 'heat injury' thing. I just wasn't ready and I knew it. I need more discipline first.
After that, it's kind of a long blur of the scheduled daily life of a soldier with little variation.
Now highlights... Let me think. You'd think you'd hold the brighter parts of the year all that much closer than the dark, but I have to scrutinize it and make it harder to shake loose.
Let's go backwards from now, maybe that'll help.
Meeting Saya was awesome.
Going home for leave was pretty meh cuz I didn't do much of anything.
One thing I DO like about the army is earning a decent paycheck and having so few bills. Being able to save or spend as I saw fit. Now that's a freedom worth having. It vindicates my decision to cut myself some slack for not trying hard to become a doctor. The extra petty nonsense some call luxury isn't worth the extra effort. I burnt myself out putting extra effort when it didn't matter and did get noticed, and when it was noticed, it was taken for granted. "I expect no less from you."
I miss all my friends and all the fun I had that last semester with Wolf and Kumar. And anime club, before it kinda broke down.
Oh yeah, I miss working at Sonic's. Best job I ever had because of my bosses and co-workers.
All that media stuff I watched, read, saw... it's all a blur now. I read and saw some great stuff to be sure, but it only emphasizes all the stuff I need to do for myself. Time to grab that opportunity and do it my way.
What shines in my memory right now is a dream I had. The dream of freedom. I took all my money I saved up and hopped in my car. I was off to Colorado first. To visit Ame and Saya and the other Rebornians. I was chained to nothing. The drive would be beautiful. I'd breathe the cold, crisp air and watch the sun rise above the evergreens as I drove- as I once truly had, when I drove up to Santa Fe for National guard drill. I would drive all the way up there, and I would enjoy every minute of it. And then I would go somewhere, anywhere I wanted after that. I would drive across the lush, green plains and watch the clouds storm and swirl across the sky. I would revel in the flashes of lightning that rent the night sky, the low rumble of the thunder as it traveled through my body, and the soothing pitter-patter of the rain on the windshield. The indescribable smell of the rain. Then the clouds would open to reveal the stars as you can never see them in a city. Looking up at them, the immensity of it all would would engulf me like a warm embrace from the whole world so that even the stars seemed within the reach of an outstretched hand- glowing gems of red, yellow, and blue, warm to the touch.
Such contentment as I have only felt in but a handful dreams! These are the thoughts I will carry with me when I lay down to rest tonight. My thoughts have wandered far from the new year to a new life. New year. Year is too long, too far away. I AM right now. And this is the moment I will hold with me until I awake tomorrow. Goodnight, everyone.