Ame, you are the undisputed master of TL;DR. I mean, I didn't get a chance to read more than the first 3 paragraphs of the original post till now.
It says something about your average state of mind and confidence level that you normally don't lose in your dreams. From my own experience, what happens in my dreams are usually a result of my own subconcious and conscious expectations. For example, I'm a pretty down to earth, realistic sort of person. And a good natural wariness of heights [s]and go figure, it's part of my job to jump out of planes now[/s]. So I don't often fly in my dreams as many others claim to. And often times when I do, I begin to question the how's and why's of things and my waking rational consciousness gathers itself. And if it doesn't make me wake up from the rising level of self-awareness, it re-imposes gravity and such things upon my dream world self. And during those times of semi-lucid to lucid dreaming (more awareness without waking up) I can assert varying degrees of control based on focusing my will to erase doubts and beliefs and force myself to have certain expectations and beliefs so that they happen. Like, continuing flying, if not so well or nearly as easily as my dream integrated self. When you see things and do things and expect them to happen in your dreams, they generally do (with certain exceptions I won't get into). Your confidence or your fear of expected events or outcomes will rule your dreams, lucid or not. And so, my dreams and nightmares reflect a great deal of my waking expectations of these situations when they do not reflect my 'inherent' knowledge of the dream world's workings- that state of mind where you absolutely are the person in your dream, capable of those feats, in the bizzare and fantastical workings of that world- that point of limited consciousness when you don't realize you are dreaming.
TL;DR with in between the lines summarizing: the more confidence in yourself and your own abilities at the time of and given non-phobia centric situations, the more you will win in your dreams. Stress and waking concerns will dig their roots into your subconsciousness and thus will determine the course of your dreams, as will confidence from real accomplishments.
And as for me... I seem to get the most physical rest and remember more and longer dreams with 4 hrs of sleep at night. And my body seems to want me to nap after lunches now, what with my daily routine being far more physically demanding than they were in school. So I think I would benefit most from a biphasic routine of 2 x 4hr sleep sessions. If I'm really tired from not enough the sleep the previous day or just a lot of work today and crash real early after work... I'll most likely wake 3.5-4hrs later... and not be able to fall asleep again till about the time I'm really supposed to get up and start doing stuff again. The army and my body's apparently preferred sleep pattern don't seem to sync together very well... but at 4 hrs of sleep I can actually physically perform with more energy than i can getting 8-10 hrs of sleep. It's easier to wake up, but harder to get up and going. Unless I relax and try to go back to sleep again right away after waking naturally after 4 hrs, it becomes very difficult to sleep again. Dunno if this helps or sheds any light on anything.
Side note: Some of my longest and more epic dreams happen during my shorter periods of sleep. And if something wakes me up during a rem cycle/dream, I remember the details from the whole thing the best. So I suppose if you really wanted to really remember experiencing your dreams and be best able to record them, you would intentially interrupt your sleep during the rem phase. Preferably near the end of it. But not so late that you slip back into unconscious, dreamless sleep and the details of the dream slip away with it. It is the easiest to wake from because you have that bit of active consciousness already going in your dream. But I sure as hell hate it when I end up getting woken up just before the climax of the dream.