Hi it's only been forever and a half.
I pulled an allnighter last night, so prepare to be bombarded by typos, lost trains of thought, and nonsensical ramblings. I blame Mash, you should too \o/
There are so many unrelated posts between this type-box and my last post, scrolling up and down to see what has/needs to be covered is going to be an adventure.
jk it's not too far up the page.
That was a really short journal entry, wtf?
I WILL DO BETTER THIS TIME.
Idk what GIFs I have and haven't used, spring break killed my journal habits and this lack of sleep isn't helping.
Okay so today I made it clear that "I haven't slept at all, but I'm wearing my new skinnies so at least I'll look fab while I nap!"
Fuck chronological order, I'm skipping around.
K I'll try to start from the beginning (what's happened since the last post) but it's been like 2-3 weeks so don't expect it to be too detailed/me to remember everything.
Dyed my friend's hair red after school, didn't know I wasn't supposed to use gloves. Her hair looks fab, my nails and hands were stained. Hands have since un-stained,nails aren't nearly as noticeable, but if you look, it still looks like I'm a fairy-boy who nailpolish'd it up.
Hung out after school the next day, got high. Ran into Ellie, and she did that thing she does where she lets me know she doesn't approve but won't pester me about it.
They were going to get my eyedrops because my eyes were red but when we went outside they told me my eyes were white again and I said something like "i'm a magician!" which I guess was really funny because they laughed alot. Then they tossed me this textured rubber duck thing and omg it was the best thing I'd ever experienced and I loved it so much, iasdosjdsidjasds.
I forget the rest.
Owait, I was concerned I'd be all sorts of afterglow'd the next day, which was the music show.
The next day, school lol. Then after school, the music show.
Maddie and I were the MCs and co-hosting for each other. We bounce off each other well so it was cool.
Except the entire fucking time we just wanted to be high.
Raziel came and we bugged him for pills but he didn't have any. Then the teacher said he wasn't allowed to be on school grounds since he didn't show up that day.
Then we called Roach and he said he didn't have any but he totally fucking did because he was high off his ass later and nobody had weed. Also he always has pills. Asshole.
Jeremiah also isn't allowed @ school.
So we suffered through it sober.
And lol, onto the actual fucking show. Maddie and I would be backstage laughing our asses off at something about the script or the people performing the entire fucking time. We'd come out to announce the next act redfaced. 'twas cool.
And while we were eating din, 2 bags of 18 cans of mountain fucking dew plop themself on my table. I look up to see that Ellie in all her motherly friendly beauty has lugged these things to the show to give to me, and I give her my thanks, my love, my caffeine-craving praise.
I love that girl.
Mmmm then we go home.
Skipped school the next day, it was a half day so why the fuck not.
And then, spring break!
Wow, this is all atually coming to me in chronological order, all I have to do is apply myself and think in a linear manner. Screwy, huh?
So, saturday, nothing.
Sunday, I hung out with Maddie at Fair City. I invited Alexan but she couldn't join us.
Maddie's dad dropped us off at Best Buy, we went to that lil section where you can play games and played Lego: Pirates of the Caribbean. We're horrible puzzle-solvers.
We got bored and moved on.
Went to 5 Below, the staff is so used to kids just walking out with shit they want in their pockets so they watched us like hawks. We left.
Went to McDonalds for a bite to eat, and acted like we were from the street.
No, we didn't act "gangsta", we acted like we were Without Home.
I paid with $6 in quarters. She had $4 in bills.
It was really obnoxious.
And then we didn't want the alst burger so she put it in her purse and we both decided we could never survive on the streets.
Then we called Roach looking for pills, and Raziel picked up because apparently Roach, Raz, and Ellie had been hanging out, (Ellie being their ride,) and Roach had forgotten his phone in her car. Raz and Ellie met up with us and we decided to go to the little park/forrest/creek thing down the street. Actually it's kind of big and mostly woods.
Ellie set out her blanket, brought her guitar, and lit some incense. We sat on the sand/rock area by the creek.
Raz brought out a thing of cigars, and we lit+passed around.
Now, I hadn't been anywhere near when we were warned not to inhale.
So I inhaled like a boss, every time it came to me.
Didn't even cough.
Then we went back because my mom was taking Maddie and I home soon, and expected to pick us up @ McDonalds.
Let me preface this next bit in saying Maddie is flirtacious and a bit permiscuous, and not too serious concerning commitment with her boyfriend, Raz.
And that Raz and I have dated twice, and he's a bit of a slut. Also he's bi.
Ellie was sitting awkwardly in the front as Raz/Maddie made out, and Raz was teasing me by sticking his hand down my pants and playing around.
Ellie and I quickly decided we needed some air and left them to it.
That was all, pretty much.
Then I went home and skyped with Tyler/Matt all night, losing my voice, and eventually it began to hurt when I spoke.
I looked it up, and found out inhaling cigars was bad.
freaked out.
Next morning, mom wakes me up saying I have to stay at grandma's, when original plan was for me to stay home while they were at bush gardens theme park.
of course, I complain, though nothing bratty. Just distressed at my plans being flipped over.
"Stop trying to ruin my trip from afar!" um, what? You're not being reasonable.
"It's like you can't have fun witht he family anymore. Only with your friends! Well you know what, Anthony? FUCK you, and FUCK your friends!"
Wow wtf I don't feel like going to Bush Gardens because I'm feeling sick and I've been depressed.
"Oh Woe is me, my parents won't leave me alone so I won't be able to kill myself!"
At this point I sort of start crying because what the hell, that's just hurtful. She still hasn't apologized for it, and I'm still not speaking beyond necesary statements towards her, because what the actual fuck, a mother to her son who's had problems with suicidal ideation in the past.
Then she leaves and I legit cough up literal bloody mucus.
Spend the next 3 days caring for my cousins (2 and 1 year old, both walking, the horror) while coughing up mucus and sneezing myself to death.
Then they get back from the theme park and I go home, and continue being sick until Sunday, when I go to the doctor and get some nasal stuff and antibiotics.
Sinus infection.
Woot wooooooot.
So yeah all that sucked.
OOOH WAIT THERE'S ONE MORE THING I FORGOT, PUTTING IT IN WHERE IT BELONGS.
K there.
OH ALSO, VONNEGUT IS SOMEONE I KNOW IN REAL LIFE <3
Best friend ever.
love.
love.
love.
That's the same Vonnegut who's set up the shop where people are getting these new avatars and signatures! Including my signature(s), below this post~
It makes me happy
Oooh, running out of things to talk about but I'm still missing so much.
Oh yeah, first session with my therapist in one and a half years, it went well but I couldn't fit everything into that 1-hour timeframe. seeign her again next week.
Only 3 more minutes to type
BRB adding a GIF upwards^
K done.
2 minutes.
Might as well put away my shit and wrestle my way to the door
peace.