Kiozo

Hey buddy boy. It's funny because Ikaru sent me a message that you can see and by the time he said "go say things" I already knew anyway what was happening. So here I am! Here's to a happy birthday. Formal thing, because I wish all your days to be as wonderful as they can be; even amongst the negative things that inevitably happen. It's been an absolute pleasure being your friend throughout these fun internet years. Playing league and watching you drastically improve from where you started has been a blast. I think I told you years ago, and it still holds true, I never gave, or give, up on you in league because you're a great player and the sky is truly the limit with you. Sure, works always to be had but skill potential isn't there for everyone. (also note that ikaru isn't exempt from this, the faith never died for you two since I started way back when). It's also great to have sat down and talked to you about whatever actively happens. From the times where I was gushing about love interests that you listened to and genuinely seemed interested in, to times you were stressed where I couldn't just let you be having a bad time, to the times where we just sat there in call saying little. It's all super fun and cherished to me. You genuinely take interest in our time together and that's irreplaceable. I couldn't ask for more from a friend. Heck, you're one of the people that keeps me still around, online. I'm in that weird spot where I'm trying to improve aspects of my life, but I'm still here at 2:40 in the morning writing sappy memories stuff here for you. Let that speak volumes of how I feel about our friendship. I hope it never ends~ Stay strong, head up, and don't forget that I'm super jealous that you have a tibbers and I don't! And don't forget that if you ever need something, don't hesitate. If I can, I will.

Heyo, heyo hey! Happy birthday you butt :3. Hope you enjoy your time, and have been well recently~

Did you notice correlations between the current Snowdown login theme music on League of Legends™ and some Final Fantasy background music?

THIS'LL BE A BLAST

You have a self-depreciating nature, but I have to ask: Do you ever imagine or envision yourself succeeding at things? As silly as it might sound, do you ever envision yourself being at the top of something you do? Don't feel like you would sound egotistical if you say yes or do that: it's actually not relevant to ego as much as it is other aspects of the mind.

In the grand scheme of things, there is a world we live in. Good and evil often intertwine to create a framework for what we call life. We travel together, you, I, and many other people on a glorious journey. We learn, grow, adapt and trust with each other through every step. Sure, we might have gotten exiled from our home village, but, we almost died there too. We'll exact revenge by stopping the same people who caused us, and our village, mass chaos and destruction. We will continue, meeting new people, learning new skills, and growing more than we ever have imagined. We've saved lives of innocent people, and taken out ruthless villains, we've seen people get turned into abominations, we've overcome political and religious issues while traveling an entire world - or two - just trying to find a home ourselves. Through it all, our friends have come and gone. Some chose to leave, some left for the greater good, and all chose to leave a mark on our hearts. Even though the pain is almost too much to bear, we're trying to find a reason ourselves. It's a constant burden of life that we must live, but we handle it well. After years of travelling together, the two of us stand before power. Power that could change the world. There's something we must do, and something I must tell you. In all my years, I had always wanted the world to change. I was never accepted, same as you, but I could never handle it. I always wanted to be the final person who had to handle that strife, that ridicule, to be the last person to bear the shame of nonacceptance. I have now, the ability to create that change. I can erase everyone's judgments, and change them all. I could make it all disappear. I could be the bastion of power that changes the world. That creates the new world. That is the new world. I could take everyone who ever had misspoke against us, and erase it forever. I'm not the only one who is in this position. We need to stop a threat that lies before us that will destroy the world. We're about ready to do that. But I need to ask of you: what do you make of all of this? Do you agree? Disagree? Do you kill me? Do we kill the threat instead? Do you kill both? What do you do, in a time like this, where the entire world hangs in the balance and you have the power to change everything?

It was a good game indeed, I felt like it was worthy of being here. Matching scores and all!

I'll start by acknowledging some aspects of previous posts. Starting with your first. It's funny to me how you said "uncontrollable monster"... because I think you're still unable to control it. Yes, you said who you really are, but you're not fully healed and nor will you be for a long time to come. I say that because it seems like the "new you" wants to be humble and down to earth, but the "old you" seems to say "I'm important" a bit in the post, even if indirect. To be honest; that was a huge vibe I got out of Hilda, "I'm important". I noticed you also said yourself that you didn't decide it brave to do it in this fashion. I agree. I don't think it negative to tell the truth; but I don't think it brave to wait as long as you did. In fact, I think that the truth shouldn't be considered brave when it's something that just should be. You stated that "your cowardice put you in a position where you had to lie and hurt other people". I'll address this shortly... As for some other things I noted, from others... The idea of "what thoughts were they? Hilda's or Hunters?" is a huge note for me that ties in above. I'll add that in shortly... Some noted you were not quick to talk, vocally (as opposed to text). I noticed that too. It made me extremely skeptical since you seem quick to talk through text, at least when you're concerned. So I suppose that helped tip me off to this. I do agree with a user that stated something to the tune of "If we can't be sure about this, we can't be sure about anything.". While that is true of everyone, we expect a certain amount of honesty coming out of the people that we talk to every day. To me, this wasn't a simple or small lie. You lied about the very fabric of your being. Which ties me into what you had said... "I wasn't pulling off some grand acting job" - well yes you were. You lied about something very intrinsic to who you are. That's why we're here. That's why I'm looking at you like you have no control over this "monster" because in some text you're Hunter, and in some you're still Hilda. Just because the same body was playing the people, it doesn't necessarily mean everything is the same. A note on you talking about trust...it doesn't have to build until catastrophe and then break apart to be rebuilt again. It doesn't HAVE to be that way. In your case, it was, but trust isn't linear like that. Also, the situation isn't unique. I've seen it almost a dozen times by now with a first hand interaction with the person in question. It's seriously the same near every time, at it's core. Final post address; I honestly do think this and the moderator status are intertwined, but I won't say more than that out of respect for the wishes. I don't think it's against anyone's wishes to say that though. Alright, time for my personal thoughts and feelings about it. From someone you probably didn't consider a friend in the first place. Odd, I know. So, there's a point in which an action like this could be ok, and could not. In most cases, it's really not. I had one person, one friend come out with the truth when they realized what consequences could become of it. They didn't start any relations, any serious role like a staff position, or other things from it. They didn't wish to do more than portray a character, like you would in an RP, and when they found out it was more influential they opened up. I had that person added on Facebook afterwards and found a lot of proof about things they had claimed before opening up about it. That regained trust and prompted forgiveness. In other cases, I haven't seen reason. For your situation, I frankly don't think it was ok to go to the lengths that you did. I feel like you were aware of what could happen, I feel like you knew what you were getting into. It somewhat seems like you're in belief that there were wrong aspects; so I'll not go on that farther. Only time truly can tell that. I feel like the "Hilda or Hunter" thing I pointed out a little bit earlier, but I want to touch on that more. Throughout the course of knowing you, I've had the less pleasant experience. If you felt that way back, I can understand. To be blunt, I felt like Hilda was a person that would let her power get to her head. I felt like "To prove a point" was the loose reasoning behind it, and that it wasn't actually justified when it was done. I felt like Hilda was a headstrong individual that honestly wasn't willing to bend many beliefs to maybe see what the other side had to say. I felt that Hilda was one that ignored if something was done about a situation to separate it, but instead was ok to talk or act about it while others were not allowed to do so without being considered wrong, childish or otherwise negative. I felt that at the end of the day, Hilda was willing to stick it to me just because certain aspects didn't see eye to eye and that was A-OK. This also ties into the other piece. It wasn't just your cowardice that caused people to be hurt by your actions. You were a very headstrong, outspoken individual when you were Hilda. You had a lot to say, and it caused a lot of issue. I know I was hurt during the time I knew Hilda, and none of it was because of cowardice. None. Which begs the question: How much is a lie and how much is true? Hilda was a lie, but was the headstrong attitude a lie? Was the person who was outspoken still going to be relevant in Hunter? You said "you were put into a position to lie and hurt because of your cowardice", but how does that make sense with who you portrayed? What can we now, now that you're Hunter, take at face value and truly define as well...true? To me, you were a very aggressive, headstrong, forceful individual moreso than you needed to be, and not for the right reasons. You seemed to display some double standards, and they really got under my skin to the point where I wanted to leave a friend group permanently, only not doing so because someone forcibly dragged me back. All of these traits could be still relevant in you. I don't know that. If they're not, all I have to go by is that the new you isn't exactly a liar...but is at the same time? That's two different yet equally undesirable places to be in, I would think. But some people are willing to say the former, some the latter, and it's not really something I expect to know, even if I were active while I was around. I guess in summary; my biggest concerns are; Who are you? What traits from Hilda do you retain, and what can you actually shed and be Hunter about? It seems like you're split. Cowardice isn't the only thing that you cut with. Sometimes, other things hurt worse and do irreparable damage. This was a mistake. Whether forgiven or not, there's an issue at hand that needs to be fixed over a long period of time - not in a day or sentence. I guess in closing now, I didn't really see us as those that got along after a while. Which is fine. I don't see any need to forgive you as I'm not the one who needs to forgive you. I don't think it's possible for someone of my stance to forgive you...for what you apologized for. My issues had stemmed elsewhere as I stated. You made a huge mistake. You seem to acknowledge that. Time is needed to heal properly. You need to use it wisely, though. Only the right actions can heal, and sorry is naught but one of those actions necessary. While I don't see any need to pursue any sort of new friendship with you, as I don't do much more than lurk at this stage, I do wish you the best of luck adjusting to the way things are. The character you can build from this should be stronger. It should follow you for the rest of your life as well. I hope you are straightfoward with people, and I hope that the positive relationships you had with people are able to be maintained. I might not have liked you, but I definitely don't wish you harm for your actions. You're human. You made mistakes. I wouldn't forget that, but I would not wish ill of you. Sorry if this was too long, didn't make sense, or whatever. It's 3 and I'm out of it. If you read this far, thanks for reading.

"I've been keeping track of when we've played" I didn't play with you in two of those Azir games, so I can't speak there. The Other was a little rough, but honestly things were out of proportion before you started having issues with your score. I looked at the heatmap. I won't talk about Dominion because it's different lol, but the Ashe game you did well early 1v2 and the Quinn game you started late. Even then you still landed your stuff in that Quinn game and you hit a lot of nice Arrows in that Ashe game. Arrows that made us get something. You hit more than Doublelift did when they won NA after all :]