I'll be honest, there's a reason I've not yet commented in here. And it's because well 1. I was a bit behind on what was going on. That's on me.
But 2... because anytime I personally ask for stuff to go in a different direction, I've been blown off and ignored. Now, I'll admit I'm not the clearest at times whith communicating what I mean... it happens. But It's happened to happen quite a few times where I'll ask that we move along from a conversation of said nature. I don't mind a lewd joke or two, or a little comment here or there. That's fine by me. What I do mind is that whenever one is made everyone else feels like it's time to jump on the bandwagon and make the chat only about that. And when I have asked in the past about things, they don't stop. And yes, I know I'm not on the server much, but this is really the reason why. Because anytime I am this stuff happens and when i ask that we take another direction to said conversation I'm just ignored. Really. I am. So, rather than just be ignored anyway, I just go do other things. Because the server is never a comfortable place for me to be. I say 1 thing and badly word it, ((or sometimes I'll say something that isn't even close to being borderline and people do it anyway)) and then the chat suddenly piles on and turns something I said int something like that. And then chat is about that for typically a long while. To the point I just don't want to deal with it anymore. Because I really don't like having to police everything and anything I say because if I make a typo by accident I'll become the butt of jokes that I don't really care for, for the next like... 10 to 20 minutes. And trust me, maybe it's been in my own way but I do say for people to move on, but they don't. Plenty of times I've expressed that I don't really are for shipping. Do I mind if it comes up a little bit? No. It doesn't bother me. but as soon as it's done once the whole chat becomes about it the next 10 mintues to upwards of an hour at times. And if I do ask, all people do is give me a "Well, jsut leave then" or a "It's just in fun don't take it so seriously". I get it enough to know that when chat becomes about a thing that I'm not comfortable with and if I ask about it to go in another direction that I personally am only met with "Sorry, leave." Pretty much everytime. That's my personal experience. So, I personally don't buy the "If you ask we'll stop" thing. Because anytime I do ask, it does nothing. TO the point I jsut don't like being on the server because it frequently gets to that point anytime I am on. I'll readily admit, things in that area don't sit well with me with people that I'm not EXTREMELY good friends with because in those scerinos they make me very uncomfortable. I don't liek talking aobut that stuff in the vicinity of folks that don't know me... really at all. Even people I'm close to I'm hesitant to. It's just not soemthing for me and it really never will be.
I shouldn't have to bring up a certain running joke that kept going despite multiple times I asked it to stop. But I will. Because it would happen all the time despite what I said. I've got way too many experiences with things where I do ask and try to be polite about it, but it doesn't work. It happens all too often for me here. ANd it's why I choose t not really partake in the Server. Because I don't feel safe personally. Like really at all. Because even when i try to be clear in my meaning adn say that I'm not really comfortable with something well... me doing that doesn't matter unless I get loud about it. ((and that's not something I should feel I should have to do to be heard.))
Now... what I will say is that what Rose has been saying is exactly what we are trying to do. We aren't trying to quell it entirely from the chat at all. Quite the contrary. Because we get it, some people are just more comfortable with that sort of stuff and some more naturally float around that kind of humour etc. There's nothing wrong with that. It's when it snowballs ((like it often does, at least half the time when I'm on.)) that is. Trust me, I don't mind a passing comment, or an off-color joke. ((I love those jokes in the right setting.)). Seriously... I know some don't mind but try putting yourself in someone like me's shoes. I don't really like attention especially of that kind. So, when a small comment I made suddenly turns into the whole chat going on about it for quite a lot of time... imagine how I feel about it. It really does make me feel unwlecome, or gross. Like people are piling on me to tell me to get the heck out. Because to me it's not a funny little joke. It's directly mocking me. Even if I know that it is one, it still feels like it isn't. It feels like I started the whole ball rolling and that my mistake nets me being the butt of everyone's jokes for the next few minutes or even hours. ((or with a certain joke... pretty much a few months.)) It's not something that is very condusive to me wanting to stick around. I've been told pleeeeenty times people want me to stick around this place or that I am in fact wanted here in this community. However, they don't show me that. They only seem to feel that way once I've expressed myself a second time ((or fifth... sixth, seventh.)) and that I'm jsut at my boiling point because nobody every stops until I am and I legitimately get upset and can't handle it anymore. This is the thing we are trying to stop. We're not trying to change you, and we're not trying to say NEVER say these things. We're trying to put a light on that when you do say them, that maybe... think about others and how they feel about what's going on. Because we want folks to feel welcome. We want everyone too. That is our goal as auth.
Mayhaps some of the words used come off as that we want crackdown or get more strict. That's not the case. So, if there was a bit of a misunderstanding there... I get it. But trust me... we want the best for what's going on. At the very least, I want the best for the server and the forums here. I want the very best, the UTMOST best. I wouldn't be trying this hard to make the RP forum a great place if I didn't. I wouldn't be trying to foster the CW forum. I certainly wouldn't be posting here. I want you guys to know that I care about this place a lot. and I want as many people as there can be to feel at home here. This place has more or less been my home away from home for 2 years now. I can;t say that much for the server because there I feel... like I'm not supposed to be there because people give me a clear message that I don't matter enough to even listen to. Just... keep these things in mind. We aren't out to get you. We never were. I'm apologize for any misunderstandings etc.. but remember, that people do mess up from time to time. Even groups of them. Words are a hard thing to use. Especially on the internet where there is 0 inflection, or body language to help further a message and what it's intent and meaning truly are. We'll hit crossroads at times... It happens.