Hello, monsters of Reborn! After getting up to my usualf mischief for the week and laughing about it like an insane little girl, I thought it might be fun to share our misdeeds with each other. The sins you speak of may have occurred in real life, online, in video games, or in any other medium. However, I do ask that you follow a few simple rules. If you break my rules, I will become very grouchy, and my grouchiness is legendary - I'll probably end up taking out my sadness on some poor, unsuspecting player in one game or another, and you wouldn't want that on your conscience, would you?
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RULES:
1. No stories that are blatantly offensive to members of any race, religion, sex, gender identity, sexuality, ethnicity, or anything else of the sort. If you hate political correctness and feel this rule is stupid, feel free to file a complaint with me after this thread has run its course.
2. In fact, for the sake of my fragile sanity, nothing related to (real life) politics or religion at all.
3. Don't go meta on me. I don't want to hear about the ways you've screwed over other members of this community. This is a thread where we are supposed to laugh at how horrible we are, not flame each other into smithereens.
4. If your story involves substantial spoilers for anything please use spoiler tags and clearly indicate what exactly it is that you'll be spoiling.
5. This one is more of a suggestion than a rule. Try not to share all your vilest acts at once. We should savor these experiences, not die of laughter in a single sitting!
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That said, I'll set an example by going first.
As you may know, I play the infamous World of Warcraft. In that game, I like to collect things because I am a total magpie. Particularly, I collect mounts - animals or machines that your character can ride around on. Recently, however, I have been presented with a teensy dilemma. It seems that Blizzard, in all their infinite wisdom, thought it would be funny to offer a mount that requires maximum reputation with a group called Talon's Vengeance. This group requires that go to certain places you kill other players - from either faction - with the use of an item that makes you hostile to everyone.
Now, on my server, my own faction greatly outnumbers the opposition, so it falls on me to prey upon my supposed allies to get this mount. I hate player vs player combat, so at first, I quite dreaded the prospect. However, in time, I learned that this situation can actually be hysterical.
As a natural villainess at heart, it didn't take me long to come up with a simple scheme. In some of the areas that I can make my kills, players are given a quest to cut through AI controlled forces and make their way to the top of a tower where a boss residues. What I do is follow them, help them, show them that I've become their impromptu ally... until they grow bold and pull a bit too many enemies. That's when I execute the plan - I activate my item and slaughter them while they battle. It tends to work quite well. They fall over quickly, and I get my beloved reputation.
But, yesterday, that was not where it ended.
For some reason a player I'd murdered became quite angry with me and saw fit to broadcast that anger in a public chat channel. I was like "The things I do for mounts" and told him it was nothing personal, but that only seemed to make him more upset. So upset, in fact, that he ran back to his body and murdered me in return. Now, that didn't bother me in the slightest. In fact, that happens more often than not. I keep my reputation regardless, suffer only a small inconvenience, and when I return, my hostility buff has fallen off so my foe can no longer touch me. However, this particular player thought they would gloat about their revenge. Their laughter turned to rage, though, when I quote a few lines from "Still Alive".
I ended up flying out of the zone with my quest complete, my reputation gained, and an infuriated player left in my wake. I was sure to wish them a good day before I left the zone.
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I hope you found my story funny, but if you thought it was a terrible bore, one-up it! I've been told you can't spell Evil without Evi, so for the purposes of this thread I will fulfill the role of goddess of death and darkness. Now, confess your sins to me!