Neither, Violence in games more often than not has a purpose to give the player moral justification or vindication. Even in games that have virtually no story, Battlefield, COD, you're are fighting whatever government/Terrorist organization (sorry not played a campaign in a LONG time) and in each bioshock game, games famed for being philosophical and morally ambiguous, you are still trying to rescue a young girl.
As for sex in media, it tends to be used for massive romantic connotations, obviously, and tends to be associated with 3 things: Scandals, Comedy and actual love. 2 out of 3 of those are positive and sex is accepted in society so long as it is kept private
Of course, there will always be examples of outrageous uses of sex and violence in media, but most of the time media has a legitimate justification for utilizing sex and violence so neither is bad most of the time.