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Today, I read through the entire discussion on the stickied thread about player independence in the Roleplaying subforum, after only reading the opening post three years ago. And now, I really wish that I had read everything back then.
People back then talked about every issue I would come to face in these three years, and I still haven't managed to learn all the lessons they've learned in the discussion on my own. Perhaps the most important lesson I've learned is that I should be giving more feedback in general, as a player and as a host. I really had no reason to be this quiet, passive, and timid OOC. It made me feel distant, and perhaps, uninterested and unpassionate.
For anyone who happens upon this post and still has a bit of interest in roleplaying, I seriously recommend you to read that thread in its entirety as well.