SPU Delivery Guy

Hey, SPU delivery! Listen, it’s the same kind of package for P̸͡L̸AY̴͢E̢͘R̷̸ but please please please just take the damn package off of me, I don’t wanna be holdin’ onto this for any longer! There’s something SHAKIN’ in there dude! I felt it! It’s creeping the shit outta me and I really don’t get paid enough by SPU to be dealing with haunted or possessed shit! Ya know the drill by now, no speakin’ the answer out loud and everythin’, yadda yadda yadda! I dunno if it’s your friend ordering these boxes or someone’s sendin’ some fucked up shit to them as a joke, but I hope for both of your sakes that this stuff doesn’t end up blowin’ up in your faces. I don’t wanna be the person who unknowingly delivered a dangerous package to a pair of unwittin’ victims! Anyways, I feel like if I stay around this thing for much longer I’m gonna end up cursed or suffer from some other horrible shit, so I’m outta here. Don’t do anythin’ reckless with that damn box that puts yerselves in danger, ya hear me? I dunno if we’ll be seein’ each other again soon, but you better take care during whatever’s gonna happen next, dude! Don’t go dyin’ from some weird box on me now!

SPU delivery for P̸͡L̸AY̴͢E̢͘R̷̸! ...Again! Oh, it’s you again. Did P̸͡L̸AY̴͢E̢͘R̷̸ receive the previous package? Because I have ‘nother one for them. But, just between you ‘n me… I trust this one even less than the previous one. It looks the same, but i'unno dude. Swear I heard buzzin’ coming from inside the box while carryin’ it up here. I don’t know what was in that last package, I don’t wanna know what was in it, and to be honest? I’d really rather not know what’s in this one either. Oh, and before I forget ‘n leave, they left me the same note as last time. Y’know... About words and answers turnin’ into dust or somethin’. ...Huh? So you figured out what that note meant, and you really weren’t actually able to speak whatever answer they’re talkin’ about out loud or you’d just fall quiet for some reason? That’s… Really freakin’ weird. I dunno what they put in these boxes, but you won’t catch me peekin’ in them out of curiosity, even if the first one had me tempted, to tell you the truth. Not anymore, nonono. Either way, I have more stuff to deliver. Hope there’s nothin’ too crazy in there, dude. See ya around, ok? Later.

SPU delivery for a certain P̸͡L̸AY̴͢E̢͘R̷̸! Hey, uh… Is this the right place? I’m s’pposed to deliver this to P̸͡L̸AY̴͢E̢͘R̷̸… They told me they were staying over at this place for the time bein’. ...Oh, they’re not here right now? Well that’s a lil’ unfortunate. Do you mind holdin’ onto it until they receive it, then? That’d be real great, thanks. It’s uh... Kind of a suspicious package if you ask me, bro. What’s up with it lookin’ like a present and that creepy lookin’ mask… button… thing... holdin’ together that ribbon? Not that it’s really any of my business, but y’know… Kinda has that uncanny feelin’ about it. Dunno. Don’t really trust it. But anyways, I was given a note alongside the package with a message on it that I had to pass on to P̸͡L̸AY̴͢E̢͘R̷̸. It reeeeeaaadds…. “Open and you will find a clue to the path forward. A trial awaits for you to solve on the way to your goal, but speaking the answer out loud will turn your words into dust.” I… really don’t have a damn clue about what any of that means. My first guess is that it means you have to keep things to yourself, but why? ‘S not like it’s actually physically possible to have your words turn into dust, is it? ….right????? Well, either way— this cryptic stuff is none of my damn business, so I’ll uh… Just go and take my leave, yeah? See ya around, dude.