Disney- Aladdin!

[Amethyst]

Aladdin! So this was actually the first one I meant to do, but the universe was sending me strong Cinderella vibes last week. In any case, here we go. With its own little theme song with some guy who can only half-sing.
Follow along if you want:
[url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rkN_RFEJ17E"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rkN_RFEJ17E[/url]

"Agrabah- City of Mystery!" Okay, wait, I remember nothing mysterious about this city at all except for in KH the question of where the hell the keyhole is.

The salesman narrator is selling hookah. What's the intended audience age of this film again? Hookah? Really, Disney? This young?
And yet, the same guy just threw the stars into the sky. Either we've already smoked too much of something, or that is pretty badass.

Jaffar yells "Quickly, follow the trail!" ...but there's no one riding at first other than himself. He must be lonely. Poor guy.

I missed the bird's name, and can't remember, but his over the top sarcasm reminds me of a certain steel leader. In regards to the obviously scummy thug being unworthy to enter the Cave of Wonders- "What a surprise. I think I'm gonna have a heart attack and die from that surprise."

Maybe it's just because I'm a theatre kid, but Aladdin gets major points for singing One Jump Ahead while pretty awesomely avoiding all the guards.
And a guy is just casually sleeping on a bed of nails? Wait, what? Not only does he look to be in peace, lying in the middle of the street over a BOARD FULL OF SPIKES, but he's bloody smiling at it.
...Massochist? Disney... *shakes head*
...And another guy is just casually dancing on coal. I think we have some misplaced stereotypes about... whateverculture... what culture IS this anyway?

Aladdin shares his bread with the kids, the monkey does, begrudingly. Well, at least we've clearly establish all of the characters' morals.
"If I were you," Aladdin says to prince, "I could afford some manners." A seemingly cool line, but they are then thrust into what I can only assume is mud. I thought we were in a desert though?

"Weren't you, Raja? You were just playing with that over-dressed self absorbed prince Ahkmed, weren't you?" (whose pants are in the tiger's mouth) I forget that she was one of the few Disney Princesses that was actually cool. Suddenly I'm okay with getting her on the which Disney Princess are you quiz I took a long time ago.
...Don't ask why I did... It was an odd situation... Shut up.

Sultan- "Jafar! My most trusted advisor!" lolustupidbro? I mean just look at the guy. Who would trust that? He looks like a freaking [s]Arbok[/s] Kobra all on his own! You don't trust snake people... Jafar was totally in Slytherin. Just saying.

...I had forgotten that Jafar's staff does the mind control thing. I suspect it may be the Millenium Rod.
Only Marik was about 289384 times cooler than Jafar.
And less of a lonely snake.

The bird's name is Iago. How appropriate.
D'aw Raja doesn't want her to go, but still he helps her escape, only to lay down and whimper. No wonder tigers used to be my favorite animal.
Firebreathers REALLY need to wear more than their underwear and a turban. God. Why.. Just, why. I understand it's hot out, but no.
In the scene where Aladdin gets Jasmine out of the jam when she's about to have her arm cut off for stealing (disney propogating yet another baseless stereotype, they don't actually do that, but thanks for playing, Walt) they're both kinda particularly fantastic. Why?
Because Aladdin picks up an Apple, backwards, without looking, WITH HIS TOES. Not only is that not, possible, but its extra not possible the way he does it. So go him.
Secondly just because Jasmine plays along so well, and her pretending the camel was the doctor (the delivery of the line particularly) was both awesome and generally adorable.
Also she pole vaults between buildings on her first try. Who says girls can't do stuff?

They each describe their respective woes about their living conditions- complete opposites of each other- ending in one word, "trapped", and they smile at each other as if they saw eye to eye perfectly, when really that's the LAST thing they should do. They should be arguing about who's life sucks more. This entire scene is bullshit. Argue goddamit, do not romantically fall to each other to a calm woodwind background theme!
...And they begin to kiss.
Just like that.
What the fuck.
They've known each other all of five and a half minutes.
Dayum, Jasmine is easy.
[s]I'm not easy too am I? D:[/s]

TIGERS CAN HUG. I WANT A TIGER HUG.
Tony doesn't count.

"You've heard of the golden rule, haven't you? Whoever has the Gold makes the Rules." I like it. So true.

Enter the magic carpet. Who stalks the monkey. Magic stalkers. Who can fly. Baller. It certainly has an odd way of making friends though. And then it sulks off. Poor guy. Uh, thing. Wait, Aladdin called it a he.
...Can carpets have genetalia?
pleasesaynopleasesaynopleasesaynopleasesayno

Aladdin goes to get the lamp, Apu is a stupid stupid monkey. You stupid monkey. Good on the carpet for trying to stop him. But eh.
I do like how all the jewels in the cave are distractions from his acheiving the key to his wishes- yay mini-metaphors for life. Though it contradicts the earlier supposition about money being the most powerful influence.

Awwyea, magic carpet chase scene a la 1992 3d cg animation. Feelin' it old school, yo.
Also, poor awesomemagic carpet. It finds friends only to have to ferry them through endless infernos and columns of lava. Life is rough, bro. I'd be pretty upset if I was that carpet. Keep on truckin' carpet.
No sooner do I type that than is the carpet trapped under a rock! Nooo! Come back, I love you, Carpet!...sentences I never thought I'd say.

So Aladdin screws everything up, and Carpet saves his ass again. And Apu steals the lamp back. Aladdin does nothing at all, of course. Just falls like a helpless damsel.
Enter Robin Williams.
Oh, no wonder the Carpet is so awesome, he's in with the Genie- they even have a secret handshake. Cool.

I would like to write something about You Ain't Never Had a Friend, but it's too much of a mindfuck.

"In case of emergency, exits are located here here here here here here here here here here here here here ANYWHERE" And while I admire the humour based off of airplane rides as applied to magic carpets, they didn't have airplanes in this time period, so- wait. I guess they didn't really have magic carpets either... damn.

Iago has some fantastic voice mimmicking techniques too. Wow.
So not only minutes after they express how much they hate each other Jafar sees marrying Jasmine as a preferable choice. NO WONDER THE DIVORCE RATE IS SKYROCKETING.

Again with the recurring theme of freedom... Freedom against power, what is true freedom- and then Jafar's just over there, he's the only one not feeling unfree- technically speaking- PINOCHIO. That's it, I'm doing Pinocchio next week, and I swear I will misspell it everytime. Huh, and there's Sebastian from Little Mermaid. Looks like my next two weeks are planned. ...I was in the middle of a thought, wasn't I. Technically speaking Jafar is the oppressor, but then we're back to the same damn theme as Cinderella.

OH.
AND LOOK.
JUST LIKE THE FAIRY GOD MOTHER ALADIN MAGICALLY BECOMES A PRINCE THROUGH THE GENIE.
Moral: Magic is the only way to solve your problems ever.
Correction: Using magic to marry into nobility is the only way to solve all of your problems forever.

...And they turn Apu into an elephant, just like the mice into horses and THIS IS EXACTLY CINDERELLA, JUST GENDERSWAPPED.
Aladdin is officially the princess here. Jasmine is prince charming (she does wear the pants after all, and after the genie's transformation, Aladdin just has some weird gown thing. it all makes sense.)

We even have the overly childish ridiculous kingfigure head to the prince who can't or won't get anything done himself, yet is obssessed with the eventual marriage of their child.
Aladdinrella.

Well, I give Disney credit on their musical numbers still. Prince Ali was less trippy than the last, and yet sufficiently fast paced and over the top, jesus is the genie over the top butwhatdoyouexpectfromhisvoiceactoranyway, and blah blah blah. There was more of a thought there but it's five in the morning, so it's not there anymore.

Iago crashes into something I think at least twice in every scene he appears. He's a medical miracle.

Of course, Jasmine comes in and owns all three of them at once, because she's awesome like that.
That's the main difference between this and Cinderella- in this, Prince Charming, AKA Jasmine actually has decent character.
And the princess is a boy. Whatever.

...And of course, so we have this whole conflict set up between trying to be smooth and coy, and trying to be yourself, and Aladdin was ALREADY owned by her once for doing that, so what does he do? The exact same thing. Probably because his head is still full of sand from the cave.
So he fails, obviously, and the Genie tells him to be himself. What does he do? HE STILL DOESN'T. And this time she goes for it. Because Disney still sucks.
But it's the most famous song from the show, I can't really hate it.
I would like to point out that the magic carpet is still doing all the work.
Also, they flew from India or wherever to Egypt to China (and are going to be back in India) all in one night (all in one three minute song). Holy fuck that Carpet goes crazy fast. I want one. Please.

And again Jasmine is awesome, and tricks him into admitting himself. Go her. And yet, despite that, they still killed the lesson about being himself, because he DIDNT and here it is WORKING OUT ANYWAY
And even after she catches him he STILL doesn't tell the truth because he is the dumbest dumbass that ever... dumbed an... ass.
Also Ikaru shot me during that last line, I'm sure. Don't ask why.

"You're speechless, I see. A fine quality in a wife." If I didn't hate Jafar before, I do now. Though I do grant that at least Disney is putting their sexism on the villain's side this time, so that's an improvement.
Yay, Aladdin broke the Millenium Rod! ...Wait, is that even possible?

"Jafar, my most trusted councelor, plotting against me all this time! How could he..." How many trusted advisors DON'T plot against their lords?
(none)

Further evidence that Jasmine is the guy and Aladin the princess: Fathers of daughters do not encourage them to choose mates. They threaten to kill the mates, have them thrown in jail if not, cut off all contact, forbid the daughter any human contact ever, and ship her to California and force her to never speak to you again.
...I mean what.
Whereas fathers of sons behave as the sultan does: "You finally found one? Yay!"

I do like how Aladdin is rebelling against the Fairy God Mother effect here, acknowledging his own worthlessness without the genie's support. In that sense could Aladdin bes seen as a modern response to the criticisms of Cinderella?

Iago's voice impressions may be fantastic, but his acting sucks.
...Holy crap, horny flamingo, ew.

Jafar gets the lamp, and wishes to becme sultan. Apparently all that's required for this is Jafar stealing the previous Sultan's clothes, and the Genie picking up the palace for no reason in particular.
"Oh sure let's just place the whole palace on this random mountain (MOUNTAIN IN A DESERT) for no reason herpderp"
On the note of stealing the sultan's clothes, apparently the boxers are not sultanry. I guess royalty is like that- only the outside matters, no one really cares what's underneath.
Did I just try to make a metaphor about ruling class' underwear...?

So Jafar makes it in his power to expose Aladdin for what he truly is. As if that's a villanous thing to do. Jasmine is for some reason surprised as if she didn't know? But none of this would have happened if Aladdin had just not been an unintelligent donkey in the first place and told the truth (tragic hero element?). I just don't agree with its exposal (i don't even care if I'm making up words anymore) being through Jafar...

...Wait, did he just get thrown into the Himalayas, or what? He should have frostbite in those clothes already.
So he begins to trudge back, but look! Magic Carpet is randomly here to save the day again! I swear, everyone pulls their weight except Aladdin himself... Freeloader- oh wait, I guess that's his character. Kinda.

And then Jafar is just reduced to a lustful egocentric slimebag, losing any sort of former cunning that may have been established for him. Jasmine plays him like a pipe, because she's just that cool.

"How many times do I have to kill you boy?!" Well, let's see. One for the execution. One for the rotting in prison. One for crushed in the cave of wonders. One for the Himalayas... Let's say five, no, six for good meassure. Six. Almost there, Jafar!

The carpet tries to get the lamp, but... Poor carpet. After all his hardwork and chivalry, he is reduced to a pile of seams...

...I totally forgot through all of my snake references that Jafar turns into one. Herpityderpderp.

...How does Iago even fit in the lamp?
Actually it doesnt matter. Nothing matters anymore. Because the climax is over, everything magically returns to normal! I'm not even exaggerating, things literally just start popping back into place with no reason! It's not like Jafar's magic wore off or anything. He's certainly still well and alive! It's not like Genie is doing it. It's just, happening~

"Quick, wish for something outrageous! Wish for the Nile!"
"Uh... I wish for the Nile."
"NO WAY!!!!"
I lol'd.


So the resolution- the Sultan abolished the law that cause the whole conflict in the first place. Why didn't we do this before? Because culture is sexist. Princes could choose their wedded, but princesses couldn't.
So Jasmine wasn't secretly a prince, but Aladdin itself is actually Disney's version of feminism... Kinda. Ish. Not really. I should probably go to sleep before my thoughts get any less coherent.

[Dragonz996]

LOL was what I was doing after every paragraph

[N8theGr8]

I read that entire thing. All of it.

My. Face. When:

[img]http://images2.memegenerator.net/ImageMacro/4978203/What-the-fuck-am-I-Reading.jpg?imageSize=Medium&generatorName=Doredia[/img]

[Bullet]

[img]http://mirror.servut.us/kuvat/meinung/lol_wut_pear_pink.jpg[/img]

[Professor Layton: Pokemon Master]

[indent]Greetings Reborn, as per our last encounter it is time for me and mr. Amethyststorm to tango, with my slightly more scientifically analyzed version.[/indent]

[indent]First I touch of backstory. The story of Aladdin is known most for its inclusion into the stories from 1001 Nights or The Arabian Nights but the story was not in the original printing of the collection due to it having no actual aribic history, the story's roots are actually traced down to being chinese and was added to the collection along with many of the other more popular stories when it was translated by europeans. Many differences are made from the story as well, such as the exclusion of elements such as Aladdin's mother, Jafar's (who is a simple sorcerer in the original) brother, and a magic ring that houses another less powerful genie to the one in the lamp. The Magic carpet was an element adapted from a different arabian night story altogether. [/indent]

[indent]Now for a touch of backstory on Aladdin the movie, now before i start let me go on a tangent and talk about a film known as the [i]The Thief and the Cobbler[/i] a film Somewhat created be animator Richard Williams, who is famous for his animation in the film [i]Who Framed Roger Rabbit?[/i] [i]The Thief and the Cobbler[/i] began production in 1964 but was not released until 1992, Due to its release date being set after Aladdin it is a popular belief that the film was created to suckle at the teat of Aladdin's success, But among avid film enthusiasts such as myself it is more popularly believed that both films drew influence from each other in a moment of film interbreeding as both films contain elements such as a protagonist who's worth is not yet known, a short pudgy king being lead about by an evil advisor who wants to control the kingdom either by marrying the princess or through violence, and a princess who would rather marry for love then for simply being married. The film was a major flop due to never actually being finished by creator Richard Williams himself and due to this there are actually four versions of the film, most of them considered to be horrible. However the film has its place in history as a visually enthralling piece of cinema and deserves to be checked out.[/indent]

[indent]The first release is almost impossible to find but the "Arabian nights" version can be found here[url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ewXcHAVRwcg&feature=related"]Arabian nights[/url]
The Version that has Sean Connery as the protaganist can be found here [url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wyaxpeWllJY"]007: Princess and the Cobbler[/url]
And the version Considered to be the best which is pieced together with unfinished animation can be found here [url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E62ibzd8WX4"]Recobbled cut[/url][/indent]

[indent]But enough of that more on Aladdin, The film began production in 1988 and went through three scripts before a final selection was made. Upon its release the film opened in the number two spot behind Macaulay Culkin in [i]Home Alone 2:Lost in New York[/i] but after several weeks rose to number 1 and became the highest grossing animated film of all time until it was beaten be the Lion King, however the film caused disney to have a major fall out with Robin Williams which is the reason he appears in neither of the original releases of the sequels.

And now to choose a few points to make fact checks and criticism along side Nicholas'

Let us begin with:

"And a guy is just casually sleeping on a bed of nails? Wait, what? Not only does he look to be in peace, lying in the middle of the street over a BOARD FULL OF SPIKES, but he's bloody smiling at it.
...Massochist? Disney... *shakes head*
...And another guy is just casually dancing on coal. I think we have some misplaced stereotypes about... whateverculture... what culture IS this anyway?"

Let us start with setting the film takes place in a magical world that is a mix between india and the middle east, simple enough. now for the bed of nails. The bed of nails was first used as a instrument in reaching enhanced levels of meditation and many factors are used to determine what will happen when a person rests on a bed of nails, including how many nails are on the bed, how the are distributed, how the person is sitting or laying on the bed, if the person is moving, and the persons weight. It is also normally used as a parlor trick and if done by a professional will yield no pain on the actual individual... however after viewing the scene in question multiple times i have come to the conclusion hat that man should be in a lot of pain and it is not even his fault it is the animators. as we can view in this screen shot the man is not on the bed of nails but more [b]IN[/b] the bed of nails[/indent] [indent][attachment=141:phpJVxuMKPM.jpg][/indent]
[indent]As for the fire walker the one present showed perfect form in how te execute such a feat, as the trick in fire walking is to walk along the top of the coals or fire which have burnt out into ash, walking slowly prevents the coals from turning to the side that is hot and burning the feet which is why the guards suffered from roasted feet. On a side not it was elements like these that drove such Pro muslim and pro indian groups to deem the film racist but i digress[/indent]

[indent]For the next point
" THIS IS EXACTLY CINDERELLA, JUST GENDERSWAPPED.
Aladdin is officially the princess here. Jasmine is prince charming (she does wear the pants after all, and after the genie's transformation, Aladdin just has some weird gown thing. it all makes sense.)"
I appreciate Nicholas bringing this point up as i had not mentioned this earlier, With the exception of Disney's 1973 film Robin Hood, this was the first Disney picture to have a male lead as well as a large section of the plot devoted to a love story. Therefore it is clear to see that Aladdin suffers from many of stereotypes in the disney princess archetype, Wanting more, living in an environment that stifles your true worth to society, Magical assistance, falling in love with/marrying into royalty. This is because as mentioned Disney had not yet wrestled with both a Male lead as well as a major love plot point and had very little room to work around. Some have also blamed this feature on the disney renaissance a time where disney films were becoming both more complex and simplified and a time where the disney princess archetype was created.

So that is my analysis of Nicholas' as well as Aladdin in general, and while i understand this may go unread except by one or two individuals i appreciate Nicholas' continued effort to entertain reborn. I would take of my hat to you but sadly that is not an option.

I as well implore any Fans of Surealist animation or storytelling to check out the links to the Thief and the Cobbler i submitted.[/indent]

[Maelstrom]

Are we gonna make this a series as you rewatch Disney classics? If so, I insist you do Lion King next.


As for him not being himself on the magic carpet ride... I think he was. Just everything leading up to it was him being retarded. Then he slips and gives it away with the "Do you trust me?" line, he reverts to 'himself' as he and jasmine have a good time flying off to places he couldn't have possibly ever seen before himself (so how does he know they're good date spots?) unless he makes lots of detours from that oasis where he was made a prince. phew, long sentence. Still 'himself' his guard is down and jasmine nails him. um, uncovers his lie. yeah, that has less inuendo.