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How would you describe love/romance?


Chrono-Explo

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I was having a conversation with a friend on Skype, and the topic of romance and love was brought up. Out of general interest in people, as well as the mindsets of people and the psychological aspects behind peoples though processes hell, I'm doing psychology and sociology as lessons I was wondering what your definition of one/the other/both would be.

For me; love is the feeling of happiness and relief, something fulfilling and completing. It's as if a part of you that you had not even realised was missing has returned. You enjoy the company, the time and the existence of that thing/person (saying thing cause I know a few different fetishes out there), is something you yearn for and crave, and it breaks you when you're not with them any more. Obsession and love are only separated by a thin line, as one can be confused for the other and walking the line can entice you with both.

I guess what I'm trying to say is love is like regaining the rest of your soul, what was gone has been brought back and with it you feel complete.

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It is difficult to distinguish from what we Filipinos call kilig, which refers to that thrill you get when your crush asks you out, or your sweetheart does something... well, sweet for you.

That and, in the simplest way I can put it: It makes you crazy, in a way.

To elaborate, you would go out of your way for somebody you love, even if it inconveniences you, maybe even others.

Btw, "romantic love" can be uplifting, yet at the same time binding-- take it from a girl who's in a relationship yet feels like she's had too many romances too early. Just remember that the brain was placed over the heart for a reason. But love, in what imo is its purest aspect (not romantic, I mean-- that is, this is the kind of love you feel for your friends and family), can make you strive for "something greater" without letting you feel like you're being weighed down.

Sorry if my thoughts are a bit unorganized, but this is what I could think of at this time. Maybe I'll come back to fix it when my head's a bit clearer.

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I haven't the faintest clue, but I do know that Love is not that stage when you just start going out. Every relationship i've ever seen truly develop to that point has taken years to come about.

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Never loved someone (aside from myself ^_^) i felt attraction sure but not a single time it was that "feeling" described in many MANY media so i really can't say anything substantial on the matter, eh maybe i'm just heartless like many people say.

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I consider the stage of dating to be affection. Love is such a strong word that simply dating doesn't cover it. I don't think these millions of middle school relationships have ever said the phrase, "I love you" genuinely. The two would have some sort of attraction to each other, whether it be their personalities, looks, sense of humor, etc. But, in no way is that classified as love. Love is the feeling that you do not want to live a day without your partner, and that the bond between you two is inseverable. You compliment each other's flaws and characteristics like a two-piece puzzle. There is such a misconception of the thought of love. That's at least my opinion on it, although it varies.

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^ There are four loves. Affectionate, Charity, Romantic (Eros), and Godly (Agape) love, according to the Roman-Greco Philosophers...

- Affectionate love is the short end. Frendship, comradery, familial in nature. It's the genuine love you give to your circle of people.

- Charity is the love you show for those in need.

- Romance is the passionate "love" reserved for life partners.

- ..and "Agape" is the love shown by God to His people, and the greatest "love" of them all.

....Tacqs nailed it. Love is a strong word. Due to my own disconnects, I don't have the best grasp on any of the four loves at all. To me, Love is a work in progress. Unfinished, not ready, and possibly not in the cards depending on which "Love" you are talking about.

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Love is a pretentious excuse to cover up the need for reproduction. It just fits into civilized society more to make it sound as if such a special feeling exists that binds others.

I used to believe this when I was younger. Maybe this is a decent theory of why love exists, explained via evolutionary mechanics but I no longer think it's adequate to explain the breadth of degrees through which love is experienced. It also doesn't really account for why people unable to have sex, or uninterested in reproduction/sexual activity may still experience such feelings. Previously I argued that those desires were ingrained/repressed by human nature of the typical patterns despite those individual variances, but I don't know that there is actually any evidence to support that claim. It falls under a psychoanalytic umbrella, a school of psychology which primarily relies on now-debunked (and quite frankly, harmful) theories. As such, I would prefer not to think of it this way anymore.

Besides, that's gross.

Love is the feeling that you do not want to live a day without your partner, and that the bond between you two is inseverable. You compliment each other's flaws and characteristics like a two-piece puzzle.

As ideal as that sounds, that's extrapolated codependency. It's not really healthy for an individual.

I don't currently have a clear opinion on what love is. I was raised to understand that love is only exemplified by people who help each other to be the best person they can be. That doesn't account for any emotion, but it is a pragmatically useful guideline.

As far as the emotion of love is concerned, I assume that everyone experiences it differently. But the more I think about 'true love', the only thing I'm personally assured of is that it has to be conditional. I think unconditional love, while a nice idea, is impractically naive.

It's also the most important motivation in serial murders. Killing should always be done out of love. The world is better that way.

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Well ti depends, because love has many many different forms. ((you don't love family, the same way as your wife etc...))

Love is one of those things, I believe, that while it exists, it is something that can never truly be put into words. It is something that can't be expressed through the means of words, or talking, it is something that can only be felt. It is not something that can be told to someone. As with many emotions imo, you have to feel them to truly understand them, no amount of words can convey just what they are to people that don;t know about them. Now, other emotions come up much more frequently, so surely most know how they feel, love seems to be something that doesn't. It isn't something that automatically happens, and it can't be experienced all the time, so clearly, it would be harder to understand something as complex as love. It is something I don;t really have a lot of experience in o be honest. I am not one to really care. I don't actively seek love because it is not important to me.

And this is my issue with Tacos statement earlier, not that you are wrong, but that is a pretty bad way to look at it. The way you say it means that without that person you are broken and not a full being, if that is the case it isn't not truly love. You shouldn't be so dependent on that person that without them you are nothing or lesser as a person. If you lose that person, because if that is the case, you then lose everything. And that is not true love, that is obsession over a person. I am not sure you mean it that way, but the puzzle analogy is one that does not sit well with me. It means without that other, you are not whole. Love should be between 2 people who are whole, not two beings who are broken and the only thing holding each other up. That is not a good ground for love. It is not a problem to be solved, it isn't a puzzle, that is a short-sighted and misinformed way to look at the big picture. ((and my definition of broken person is someone who can't accept that their flaws are a part of them, they try to think they can solve their flaws. Flaws aren't a problem either, and the cannot be fixed they are a part of you and your very being, if you do not love the whole of yourself, you cannot truly love another, it just doesn't work.)) this idea plays into the Romanticized version of love, the not wanting to live another day without that person, that they complete you. This is love in the story books, undying passion etc. It is quite literally love to the point of obsession. There is a reason it is used in media, because it is more interesting to see somebody who is that "in love" with someone try to get that person to show them that love back, or to use it to cause drama in some other way. But love doesn't really work that way.

Just my 2 cents, and I don;t mean to sound like I am snapping at you Tacp, I am not. I just don't like the whole puzzle analogy to love, it is a very very incorrect way to describe it imo.

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"Besides, love is like Europe. It's such an overused and complex word that it can no longer be accurately defined" - A friend of mine

That gave me a great laugh

So anyways, I can't really comment on most forms of Love, but I can state my opinions towards red (romantic) and white(obsessive/selfish/whatever) loves

Red Love is to me a feeling of connection. An understanding of one another and an infinite care. It flows between you, drawing you together. It makes you feel so joyous to be in your love's presence. You find yourself smiling when you think of them (and, yes, you think about them a lot). Even when you argue with them, you know that you can never stay angry with them. And you know you would give anything for them. It builds you both up, making you feel stronger together

White Love is like Red Love, but one-sided and selfish. When you are drawn infinitely to someone, but they do not feel the same back. It overwhelms you and and blinds you with its endless light. It constantly whispers to you that if you just keep trying, eventually they will Love you back. Its siren song lures you to them, until eventually you can't think about anything else. It's no longer just often you think of them, it's always. And no longer does the thought of them bring happiness, on its heels follows bitterness and anger. You wouldn't just give anything for them, you would do anything to have them for yourself. You become irrational, in desperation you abandon your morality. The worst part of it, is that it's no longer the Love pushing you to do things, you do and say them because you want to. It's still there, keeping you from going back, from realizing all the terrible things you've done, but it is you doing all the terrible things

It tears you apart inside, threading its tendrils through your heart and smashing everything in its path like a Morbuzakh infestation (#reference). Once it has taken root, nothing can rip it out. Even after it has destroyed your heart, it never leaves you. The pain and regret will haunt you forever. To me, White Love is the most powerful emotion of them all, for the smallest seed of it can tear apart an entire being

That's my experience at least, I'm sure it's different for everyone though

~Kyra

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