GotWala Posted December 21, 2014 Share Posted December 21, 2014 Ahh, yes! You've spaced out the text more! Anyways, keep up the good work, man! My heart is nice and toasty from that return to the Dream on Another Shore in both worlds, haha. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raindrop Valkyrie Posted December 21, 2014 Author Share Posted December 21, 2014 Oh shoot thanks man, you totally reminded me I needed to plop the song for the Dream sequence in that chapter yet lol. It is now there, went with a more upbeat one this time Going to try and find a song for the battle thing, but I don;t want it to be some booming epic, it needs to be energetic that it comes off as fight music, but not in a powerful way. More in a trickstery way because Elaine when she is forced to fight fights more with her cunning and using her knowledge to defeat people she would normally have no right beating. Basically, she is very smart and fights not with her strength, but with her mind. ((If I had to give her a character class like in Graterras, it would be Monk. However, one might notice that it wasn't character class in my rp. I kinda cut ti after thinking it wouldn't fit in well, but I kinda don't believe that anymore. I may Put it into the RP, but I kinda don;t want to because people that might have wanted said class at the beginning may have gotten screwed out of it. Honestly it was a similar thing with Druids, but I still feel they in a way overlap with Rangers too much in a forum RP so i doubt I will add them, but I am definitely thinking about it.)) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Notus Posted December 22, 2014 Share Posted December 22, 2014 Bronswick just gained a fan XD. That tea sequence and the ending were really fun to read Huk! And also, as Got has already said, the reading is way better now with the formatting change you've done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raindrop Valkyrie Posted December 24, 2014 Author Share Posted December 24, 2014 Chapter 5 has been released, enjoy the read guys. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GotWala Posted December 24, 2014 Share Posted December 24, 2014 Enjoy the read I did! I think this very well may have been my favorite chapter so far, haha! Another dream sequence but in the desert, the playful love between wind and sand, and all of those thoughts between Elaine and Azalea were making my eyes mist a little. There's just so much to love about the world, and the times when we can give back and let another experience the love we have is just sublime, haha. I sincerely look forward to what comes next with these dreams on other shores! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raindrop Valkyrie Posted December 26, 2014 Author Share Posted December 26, 2014 I have released Chapter 6, please do enjoy. It might be a bit before I can get back to writing this so I wanted to at least leave you guys with something. This Chapter probably took me the longest to write. It was hard to decide a lot of what I wanted to do with it. But, I think I reached a pretty good version. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GotWala Posted December 26, 2014 Share Posted December 26, 2014 I can definitely see why it took you so long, haha. There's so much description that it would require large amounts of thought! It's wonderful to see that the love between Azalea and Elaine has finally taken that next step! The artist and her masterpiece, together in the bliss that can only exist between those who understand one another... *sniff, sniff* God, now I just want to find someone to give a big hug to, haha! Take as much time as you need, Hukuna. I'm more than willing to wait for more brilliant dreams, haha. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raindrop Valkyrie Posted December 26, 2014 Author Share Posted December 26, 2014 And I added a bit of music for this chapter. Didn't have time to think of it before hand, but i found what I think is a good one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raindrop Valkyrie Posted March 26, 2015 Author Share Posted March 26, 2015 And after a much too long hiatus.... I bring you Chapter 7 of Dream on Another Shore. I hopefully will get back into the swing of things... and maybe actually get this story done lol. That might actually be a good idea. But fro now, enjoy the current chapter folks, hope you enjoy the read! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raindrop Valkyrie Posted August 14, 2015 Author Share Posted August 14, 2015 Sorry, for the looooooooooooooong wait for any of those that were doing such, but I finally finished Chapter 8 of this story... It started to near the bend, and it is certainly something i want to see to finish. I hope you enjoy this latest Chapter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raindrop Valkyrie Posted October 27, 2015 Author Share Posted October 27, 2015 Yet another announcement in a row. It's be lovely to have some feedback sprinkled in here at times, looks like I'm talking to myself here lol. Anyway that's not the point of this post. I've decided to update Dream on Another Shore to using a Google Doc rather than using two different thread on this forum. ((as a result I'll get around to deleting the other when I get the time.)), it's just easier for me to keep track of it and keep things nice and tidy. Therefore that's my plan with it. No new chapter for today however I'm going to begin work on Chapter 9 today and probably work on it while I work on the other things I have on back burner etc as well. Anyway, I hope consolidating the threads helps keep this more noticeable and easy to find. ((I'm actually doing this little thing due to Acquie and Dobby's way of doing Lily Ex Machina and Jerry's Tale respectively. It seems a bit neater of a solution and I might have ti be the rules in the future possibly for the CW forums. However Jury is still out on that one.)) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raindrop Valkyrie Posted November 4, 2015 Author Share Posted November 4, 2015 Chapter 9 is now out, sorry for the wait folks. Hopefully it's a good read for you guys that are just starting reading etc. I'd really like some feedback I'd really like to know what I can improve etc or what you think I'm doing right. Thank you for reading. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honchy Posted November 4, 2015 Share Posted November 4, 2015 I just love this creative writing section . Keep up the good work! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GotWala Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 You want some feedback, huh? Well, I suppose I can try to give a bit, haha! After reading through your story once more and catching up on the latest chapters, I'm proud to say that it remains one of the best stories I've ever been invested in! As for specifics, I still find your ability to describe the ephemeral and abstract scapes of dream sequences to be astounding. No detail goes unspoken as you project your creative mind into your work. Your characters are real and believable; each one being relatable and interesting for the reader to observe on their journey. If I have to throw in some negatives, they'd be as follows: Your habit of "text-walling" is still alive and well, I see, haha! Just try to be more conscious about how it might look to the reader when you expel forth your prose. Gramattical and spelling errors are there, but hardly worth mentioning seeing as you have no editor and they aren't conscious faults. The meeting with the goddess Aelia and her servant was solid, however the quickness at which the intensity of our MC's conversation with the goddess rose was somewhat off to me. Perhaps it'd feel more natural if you provided more "filler" or general "brick-laying" to establish an emotional basis. This observation goes for your dialogue with new characters in general, but I mostly observed it with the goddess' meeting. I'm happy to enjoy the privilege of reading your work, and continue to support you in this endeavor! Let it be known that even in my absence, I thought of how fortunate I was to read such inspiring work and thought about it often, haha. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raindrop Valkyrie Posted February 13, 2016 Author Share Posted February 13, 2016 Okay, probably the 7th time I've tried to type this out but this page keeps freezing on me. I am immensely sorry I couldn't reply earlier Wala. Just, the universe is conspiring against me lol. First my cord and now every way I can reach the forum being a pieeeeeece of garbage. Anyway, thank you for the post. It means the world to me. Seriously, I am working on that text wally thing. It's definitely an issue but I'm getting better at working on it. For my new project, Heartless Souls, I actually do have an editor. She really helps me with all the issues that arise. Especially cutting dead lines and the like cutting down on the uneeded repetitiveness and the bloat of certain passages. It happens lol. Dream could really do with a look over lol. However, it'd be a lot of work at this point seeing as more of it exists. It's entirely up to her if she would want to help me out lol. I'll remember to ask her. (or if I don't seeing as my memory is that of a potato... hopefully she sees this XD) But really thanks for the feedback. It really means so much to me. I'm really glad you enjoy Dream so much lol. It really does mean the world to me~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosesong Posted February 13, 2016 Share Posted February 13, 2016 Unfortunately for Kuna, his memory is horrible and he has not yet asked me. However, I will look this over and, when he gives me editting perms for this, will deal with the grammatical stuff as well as taking out some of the clunky choppiness and repetitive bits Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GotWala Posted February 14, 2016 Share Posted February 14, 2016 Hey now, what are friends for right? I'm just glad I could catch up after being gone for so long, haha! Oh, and pleased to make your acquaintance, Rose! I will look forward to seeing more of your "Dream" while I'm busy "meaning worlds", haha. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosesong Posted February 14, 2016 Share Posted February 14, 2016 Pleased to make yours as well Wala; I look forward to seeing your participation again here on the forums. As a note, up to Chapter 5 has been preliminarily edited. This means that I've taken out grammatical errors, punctuation errors, and spelling errors. Within the text are comments for Kuna, whenever he's able to work on the story again, to deal with things that I've identified as excessive wordiness, choppy flow, unclear language, and repetition, among other things. During my editing, I attempt to the best of my ability to keep Kuna's writing voice fully intact, and do not change the integrity of his work in any way, shape, or form Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raindrop Valkyrie Posted February 22, 2016 Author Share Posted February 22, 2016 Alrighty then! So the major editing process of Dream has been completed up to all currently completed Chapters. Once again, a big thank you to my wonderful and lovely editor Rose~ She really really helps me out immensely and I'm am more grateful than anything that she's willing to help me out and put up with my terribleness ((what's not really that bad but eh at times XD.)) It really does mean a lot to me that you spend your valuable time helping me out and more improtantly, to better my work. It means the world to me Rose. Anyway, please do enjoy the more cleaned up version of Dream. I really hope those that have read it enjoy it once again, and those that have yet to set their eyes out do as well. It would mean a lot to me to hear anything you have to say about the piece if you do. If you really liked a character, if something spoke to you in a way you didn't expect. Anything. Anything you can share even if it's not adivce o the work or contrstive critisim, I don't mind. I'd love to read anything you ahve to say, anything you have to offer. Because hearing your experiences reading the work well, I love hearing those as well. It's fasicnating how something I wrote can jsut effect people in different ways and what not. So yea, please do leave what you thought while reading along. I'd love to see it. Thanks to everyone who's read this throughtout the time it's been up. It means so much to me that you toom the time in and of itself. Anyway, enough being sappy lol. Hukuna Sensei, Out~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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