Burgatory [Flash Fiction/Discussion]

[Raviel the Phantom]

Burgatory

“Welcome to Burger Palace, how may I he—”

Upon seeing the approaching customer, the cashier’s methodical greeting is lost to an eerie silence. Standing there is a man dressed in an obsidian suit and fiery red tie. A mane of raven hair sprouts down to his shoulders, spiked everywhere like a blanket of thorns. Thick horns protrude on either side of his head, acting as his unworldly crown. Slithering from under his coat is a black snake-like tail with an arrowhead tip. Eyes of hellish gold look upon her, a fanged smile crawls across his lips.

“Yes, you may, Ellice Carter” the devil chuckles softly as he speaks. “I heard that you wanted to make a deal?”

She gasps, “W-When I said I’d sell my soul for a million bucks, I-I didn’t mean…”

“Calm yourself,” he hisses. “I am not after your soul. I have a different proposition.”

“What is it?” she asks, suddenly sounding intrigued.

The devil’s grin broadens, “You want money, don’t you? Wealth beyond imagination? Treasures fit for one hundred kings? I’ll give it all to you. And in return…I get a cheeseburger.”

“A cheeseburger,” Ellice stares at the devil in disbelief, “That’s it?”

He nods. “Yes. Give me what I desire, and untold riches will be yours. But there is a catch. Mess up my order, and your soul is mine. So, do we have a deal?”

“Yes, of course,” she answers eagerly.

“Then give me a number one,” he says, pointing to the menu over her head.

“Right away, sir!” she smiles, running to the back of the kitchen.

She personally prepares the Lord of Darkness’ food. As she builds the sandwich, she begins to daydream, imagining everything that she can do with her newfound wealth.

I’ll quit this job as soon as I’m done with his order. In fact, I’ll never have to work again. Afterwards, I’ll buy a big house. Perhaps a mansion with servants who will do everything I ask. I’ll finally be able to afford to travel! France, Italy, and Tahiti will be a good start. I’ll dress only in designer fashion too; no more Target shopping for this girl! I can even dump that broke boyfriend of mine, because I will probably be able to get any man I want. Maybe even a movie star, like Bradley Cooper. What a hunk. Also, I’m gonna get lots of jewelry…diamonds galore…ooh, I can’t wait!

She snaps back to reality as she places the top bun on the burger. She places it on a plate and rushes to the counter, nearly slipping on the mopped tile. She hands him the tray containing the meal that will win her the fortune she desperately desires. The devil grabs the burger, sinking his talon-like nails into the soft sesame bun. Baring his fangs, he takes a bite. His eyes close, as he loses himself in the blissful taste of human food. Suddenly, he stops mid-chew, and his golden eyes flash open. Looking at his meal, he lifts the bun on the burger. He then shares his discovery with Ellice.

Her careless daydreaming caused her focus to waver during the preparation. If she had been more attentive she most likely would not have made the mistake. Wide-eyed and mouth agape, Ellice gazes at the patty in horror. She failed to include the most obvious part of the sandwich…the cheese!

“Too bad, Ellice,” the devil shakes his head in disappointment. “Here, this is for you. I’ll be back later to collect.”

He places a slip of paper in her hands, and then disappears in a puff of smoke. Ellice is left dumbstruck, her eyes glued to the note that he had left her. Though there were only a few words, she reads it slowly:

Deal with the Devil

Order # 666

1x Cursed Burger

-------------------------------

Total: Ellice Carter’s Soul

P.S. Thanks for the meal

Edited December 26, 2014 by Raviel the Phantom

[Damiano]

Besides that, there's not much for me to say other than I liked reading this. You really seem to have a talent for these short laughs. It reminds me of the small things I used to read back in the day (of a few months ago) by Bob Powers. It's fun and I enjoy enjoyable content.