Shamitako Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 So originally I was going to offhandedly mention this via the status bar, but imo it's a bit more major then four sentences. Also I can already hear people saying "just do whatever you want" and trust me, Ima do what I want no matter what you say, so just give me some honest opinions to help me realize what I want (even if everyone says "no that's terrible" it may still help me realize I do want to do it) So now onward to the issue itself. I've been thinking for a while of changing me name, as in not going by Kyra anymore, I'll get to why in a bit. This idea was further fueled by a dream I've been having recently, without going into detail: I'm asked my name, and Kyra doesn't come to mind (neither does my given name for that matter) and it got me thinking more. And then a certain someone talking about their own name recently brought all this to a head So I figure you're probably wondering why by this point. I mean, Kyra is a great name. It references darkness, I get to be Ame's cat, it goes great with Morgan (which is a perfect middle name), it starts with K (K is a great first letter for names, one of my favorites. Also goes well with my username), and just about everyone knows it by now (I probs get called Kyra more than my given name at this point) And to answer that, I'll have to go back to how I chose it See, originally, it wasn't even intended for me. I mean, I knew I might end up using it for myself at some point in the future if I decided to go through with living as a girl, but originally it was just the name for my character in Pokemon Y (Who is actually pronounced differently) Plus, it was kind of a rushed decision. I needed something, so I took the first thing that clicked. But it's kind of based in one of my more superficial aspects of who I am (darkness is certainly part of me, but it's mostly an outward thing and hardly reflects all of who I am) and honestly not even all that well thought out (along the way I also looked for names about being cold, snarky, or cynical...) So while I think it was right at the time, especially since I understood myself so little then, it just feels really hollow now. As a writer who heavily strains the importance of having her character's names reflect who they are, being given the choice to choose my own name is like absolutely massive and important and needs to be done right. Also Kyra is pretty much impossible to shorten and the only good nickname I've found for myself so far is Pinelope's "Kywy," which is a good play on words, but still not a shorter version of a longer name (names like that are defs my favorites) So yeh, that's my feelings on it. I think it's P obvious I'll be doing something, but I'd still like some feedback. Hell, I'll even take suggestions if you think you know me well enough to give them. I do have a few ideas myself that I like, though IDK how they'll feel on me (at least one was more intended for an impossible child...) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nova Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 I'd be happy you got such a unique name such as Kyra, it kinda makes me feel bad for the people with more common names Also consider that changing your name can be a difficult law process, unless you only keep your "new" name as a nickname of sorts, leaving the name Kyra on documents only. This is entirely your own choice, but I'd not change my name just because it might not fit your personality: There's lots of people that don't even know the meaning of their own names. Good luck on making the right decision. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RubyHeart Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 Well, names are important. I kinda agree with Novawawa, but I still also have no problem with it. Kyra is the name I know you by, so it would be a little weird if I had to call you anything else. Though I do go by two names, but you already know that reason, and I do prefer to be called Clara at this point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamitako Posted January 21, 2015 Author Share Posted January 21, 2015 (edited) Lol, you don't know the half of it. Legally I have to change my name no matter what, my given name is Benjamin. If I was given the name Kyra I would be more than happy with it. But since I'm being given the privilege of choice, I want to do it right EDIT: And yes, the fact that people will struggle with the change is one of the main reasons against it *indicates the OP* Also you're still Peanut Butter to me Edited January 21, 2015 by KosherKitten Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nova Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 Lol, you don't know the half of it. Legally I have to change my name no matter what, my given name is Benjamin. If I was given the name Kyra I would be more than happy with it. But since I'm being given the privilege of choice, I want to do it right EDIT: And yes, the fact that people will struggle with the change is one of the main reasons against it *indicates the OP* Also you're still Peanut Butter to me Benjamin? Who names a girl Benjamin? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamitako Posted January 21, 2015 Author Share Posted January 21, 2015 Exactly (You might want to read the first couple sentences of my profile) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yash Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 I may not know you well enough to suggest something.. But I've had a lifelong struggle with my own name.. Yash is a shortform of Yashas, which ironically almost nobody uses.. Infact there are times when I have to remember how it is correctly pronounced since most people who use it, mispronounce it.. .. I've never really been too fond of it.. Though I feel that Yash as a nickname and Yashas as my legal name is the best for me.. So in general conversations and when introducing myself I always say Yash.. As for names that match with your personality.. Well I would suggest not bothering with it.. Simply because your personality is defined by your experiences in life.. So it's malleable to say the least.. Instead you could look for a name that you like irrespective of the meaning behind it.. Something that when you say out loud you like hearing.. Something you feel is familiar to you, even though it is something new.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Infel Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 The name struggle is so real. I've gone through more than a few myself, but have managed to all but ditch my given name online, thank goodness. The nice thing about internet platform is that it's not too hard to ask people to call you by a different name. It's a great way to "test drive" names, so to speak. Heck, that's what I've been doing with the name Infel. I still go by Rowan, which will most likely be the name I get a legal change to (since Infel is just a little too "uncommon" for me to deal with, I don't want to get asked invasive questions all the time over it), but when I feel something just 'isn't right' I can try it out online. So, heck, if you find something you like but aren't 100% sold on how you feel about it, it's not hard to ask your online friends, "So, hey, I'm feelin a little [new name] this week. Can you call me by it?" That's the best way to get a feel for a name, in my experience (as someone who has 'tried on' several.) Sometimes a name feels more like a nickname and less like an actual name, and sometimes a name just doesn't click. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamitako Posted January 21, 2015 Author Share Posted January 21, 2015 @Yash It's less personality and more person. Like you said, it should feel like mine. My current name choice is based on a superficial aspect of my personality, and that doesn't feel right to me anymore. Names are majorly important to me, and as great a name as Kyra is, it doesn't feel right anymore @Infel Yes, names are quite the struggle. Personally I've only gone over two (one of which was an attempt at picking something gender-neutral so I could be myself with my IRL friends, that wasn't smart >_>) But it is very nice to hear from someone who understands the struggle ^^ And while the internet is certainly easier to experiment with than real life, people also only have your name to go by. So changing your name is almost like becoming a different person (aside from that, it is a very good test platform and I fully intend to try some stuff out whether I think I'll be Kyra at the end of it or not) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Infel Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 Hmm you have a point about names making you a different person! I struggle with a lot of paranoid thoughts so that's mostly a boon to me, but I can also understand not wanting to lose any "reputation" you have. It mostly depends on what your friendgroup(s) are like-- I just have a small group of people I frequently talk to so I generally ask them "Hey, call me Infel this week." or "Today, I want to go by Rowan." and it's easy to manage, but if you only meet with people on forums, like here on Reborn, I could see it becoming confusing and/or difficult. All aside, I wish you luck on finding something you like!! It's a lot of power to have, heh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tomas Elliot Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 (edited) Oh God here we go, I can feel it. I can feel the emotional rush I always feel right before writing an overly long post. Much apologies to you for maybe getting too much involved in something that does not concern me, and to the other people who are posting in this discussion as I type, whose posts I'll inevitably ignore. So, our relationship has begun a few days ago, when I contacted you via private message to tell you about some crazy project of mine: we aren't exactly long time friends, are we? Still, the more I talk to you, the more I feel I can relate to you: I am probably the last person who should have the right to say this, but I think I know what you are going through, and I wish there was something concrete I could do to help you or at least to show you my solidarity... I would be content with knowing that I am managing to be a good friend for you, even if maybe this is a bit presumptuous on my part, given how recently we have become acquainted (not to mention that we don't even know one another outside of a Pokemon forum). You see, the fact is that as I kid I was bullied. There were a bunch of kids my age who had made their sole purpose in life to make my life miserable, and they actually got to pretty cruel extremes. I tried to tell my parents, asking them for help, I turned to teachers and to every other adult I knew: but since we were kids at the time, nobody took the situation seriously: all I was going through was nothing more than the "innocent pranks of kids", and every attempt of mine to talk about it always ended with the turn adult laughing. The problem with this is that I was born and raised in a very small town, at the top of a mountain, where maybe 300 people live: in such a place everyone is friends with everyone, and this of course includes my parents and the parents of the bullies: so I had to stand my mom having a good time with the mother of the one who was making my life a living hell, I had to stand having the bullies at my birthday parties, welcomed in my house with smiles ("Oh come on, we cannot have a party without Michela, can we? She has a son your age, aren't you happy?"), I had to stand being forced to spend every single day of my life with the people who were ruining it. And I grew up that way: only by running away, only by renting a flat in a far away city to attend university (university! The bullying had started in primary school !) was I able to finally turn my life around, make some friends, get in a romantic relationship (which didn't end well, but eh), enjoy the life. To this day, I still suffer of a heart condition caused by my body overreacting to the smallest stimuli, producing too much adrenalin and thus causing too much stress on the heart, whose muscle just cannot pump as hard as the adrenalin would induce it to do for a prolonged time: I was told that this condition is permanent, and that "it was probably caused by a severe stress or a trauma", and needless to say, my parents have no idea of what could have provoked this situation, God bless them. So yeah, I don't know what it means to have gender identity issues, but I do know what it means to suffer because of something that other people don't think is important: the feeling that you are not understood hurts more than the suffering itself. And well, if in the society in which you live (I don't even know where you are from!) there is one third of the prejudices and the bigotry we have in Italy, things are only going to get worse: if you do go through with your decision, you'll have to face that horrible monster with multiple heads, known as bureaucracy. And God knows how frustrating bureaucracy can be. Now, I wish my experience had taught me something useful to suggest to you, but the fact is that it hasn't: all I have learned from the crap I have been through is how to run away. And of course a forum like this is a good refuge, people are gentle and understanding, and there is the anonymity of the nickname, allowing you to be honest about your situation without showing your face. But when the chip are down, you are on your own: you are changing name, gender, life (not unlike how I buried my past when I finally made it to university), and you are doing it on your own, none of the people who try to be helpful in this topic (including myself) can actually help you or support you. So in the end all I have to tell you is just this: be strong. I have never been strong in my life, I have never been able to face my problems, and I "solved" them by running away: the impression I got from our converstations is that you, as a person, are stronger than me, so please be strong for the both of us. Because it is obvious that the decision has already been made, the way you worded the OP is unmistakeable: you ARE changing your name, regardless of what we say in this topic. If I can improvise myself as a psychologist, I dare say that the issue is that, deep inside, you feel that the name "Kyra" was but a game, something you did as a fun way to see how it would feel to have a female name: now that the chips are down and the change is going to be for real, you feel you need a name to reflect the maturity of your decision. Know, even if it probably doesn't mean much, that you have my full support. Please be strong. Edited January 21, 2015 by Tomas Elliot Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamitako Posted January 21, 2015 Author Share Posted January 21, 2015 TL;DR Okay, no, not really. I read the whole thing. And I just have to pick out one line: the feeling that you are not understood hurts more than the suffering itself This is so insanely true Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deleted User Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 So is there any sort of particular emotion or trait you want your name to symbolize or identify you as at first thought? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamitako Posted January 21, 2015 Author Share Posted January 21, 2015 Ohai Jerry. Well, I kinda wish it would reference how soft I can be, even though outside that's not necessarily obvious. I also like names that have short versions (bonus points for short version ending a long E) Pretty and soft names are where I'm aiming And lastly, my favorite first letters for girl names go E>A>K>L>S, and %90 of my ideas start with one of those But honestly I'm already overanalyzing, so lemme just list off a few examples I'm considering so you have an idea of what I like Alexus/Lexi/Alex (short versions each have issues and I haven't picked which I'd use) Emmeryn (not Emma, ew, short version ideas are welcome, lol. Also, my favorite name of all time owo) Annabelle/Annie ("Belle" names are good, also *Indicates avi, siggy, and MC skin*) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deleted User Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 Ohai Jerry. Well, I kinda wish it would reference how soft I can be, even though outside that's not necessarily obvious. I also like names that have short versions (bonus points for short version ending a long E) Pretty and soft names are where I'm aiming And lastly, my favorite first letters for girl names go E>A>K>L>S, and %90 of my ideas start with one of those But honestly I'm already overanalyzing, so lemme just list off a few examples I'm considering so you have an idea of what I like Alexus/Lexi/Alex (short versions each have issues and I haven't picked which I'd use) Emmeryn (not Emma, ew, short version ideas are welcome, lol. Also, my favorite name of all time owo) Annabelle/Annie ("Belle" names are good, also *Indicates avi, siggy, and MC skin*) Elizabeth -> Lizzie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamitako Posted January 21, 2015 Author Share Posted January 21, 2015 You know, I was kinda expecting you to say Elizabeth for some reason Though I forgot Lizzie was a thing, because that's why Elizabeth wasn't on that list. Double names are kewl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deleted User Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 You know, I was kinda expecting you to say Elizabeth for some reason Though I forgot Lizzie was a thing, because that's why Elizabeth wasn't on that list. Double names are kewl Could also go with Ellie/Elly (however it'd be spelled) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamitako Posted January 21, 2015 Author Share Posted January 21, 2015 Lizzie>Ellie, mostly because I can think of a very well known Ellie. Also I used to call Silver that and it still makes me thunk of her >_< Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickCrash Posted January 22, 2015 Share Posted January 22, 2015 And lastly, my favorite first letters for girl names go E>A>K>L>S, and %90 of my ideas start with one of those You could do an Elsa with those... Seriously now. Are you sure that your urge to change your name is not driven by certain emotions which you might not have later on in your life? If Kyra, a name chosen by youself to suit you, or at least a side of you that either exists or you wanted to exist, feels hollow and does not represent you anymore, then what verifies that the next name you choose will not share the same fate? I understand that since you identify as a girl, a more feminine name than Ben is more fitting. Do not take these comments as me being judgmental on you. I just want to make sure this decision is not rushed, since I do not know you. My proposal: Anastasia Begins with A, makes a nice sound, has a meaning that conveys the concept of resurrection, and you can always shorten it to Stacy (another letter you like). Stacy sounds really cute. You can alternate between the two. The first sounds more formal, while the second is more friendly and direct.(<-perhaps not the right word). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamitako Posted January 22, 2015 Author Share Posted January 22, 2015 Elsa... *Burns you at the stake* Never come back here again >:c JK... Mostly Oh now that is a well thought out suggestion *Applauds* I'll add that to my list of things to try ^w^ And yes, I realize it could feel wrong again at some point in the future. But I've put a lot of thought into it and am fairly convinced Kyra isn't right. I can't speak for my future self, but I'm pretty sure she'll be happier with her name knowing she took the time to think it out and try on different things rather than just tossing on the first thing that seemed to fit okayish. Plus, I haven't legally done anything yet, so I still have the option to experiment. For all I know none of these could work out and I'll just land where I started, but at the very least I'll know I tried some stuff Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arkhi Posted January 22, 2015 Share Posted January 22, 2015 I can't think of any good suggestions besides Kopaka, so I'd just suggesting thinking of names that sound good to you. Eventually, a shorter version of your name that rolls off the tongue will come to light. Go with your gut instinct, really. In the expansive realm of a name, anything's fair game. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yash Posted January 22, 2015 Share Posted January 22, 2015 (edited) That is what I meant.. As long as it is something you can call your own.. It's the only reason I haven't changed my name.. Despite everything it was given to me and it is mine.. At the end of the day that feeling is all that's important.. Also I feel that if you take a suggestion it may corrupt the name by it again being given to you specially by someone who may or may not know you all too well.. That being said there is still the possibility that the suggestion may be more aligned to you than a name you could think about or find on your own.. That could be the case when you hear the name and instantly feel that it is perfect for you.. So here are two suggestions keeping with what you prefer.. You can try Kimaya.. It means Divine.. Starts with a K and can be shortened to Kimi or Maya.. That is your preference.. There is also Elina.. Meaning Intelligent.. This too can be shortened to Ellie.. Edited January 22, 2015 by Yash Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamitako Posted January 24, 2015 Author Share Posted January 24, 2015 Yes, that is one risk of suggestions, and thus why I am experimenting and not just picking the first thing that sounds good. But as you said, it's also possible someone else might find something I would not have Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maelstrom Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 Karen, Kairi, Kalista, Anais (Spanish pronounciation), Ashley/Ash, Cassandra/Cassie, Catherine, Cthulhu, Diane, Sharon (not to be confused with Charon, unless you want it to 😉) Arinelle, Saerin, Lilith, Elisera, Roselin, Evelyn (evil Lyndis? XD) Tossing some things out, seeing what sticks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamitako Posted January 24, 2015 Author Share Posted January 24, 2015 >Anais This, looks, I can't *Throws gutter in the corner* Sorry, um... What's funny is that %90 of those have already crossed my mind for one reason or another. Though a few are new *Snickers* and at least one has been tossed on my list of things And yes, tossing things out is good ^^ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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