[CW] Jerrys tale.

[Felicity]

Hi, guess who? My name is Jim. Or is it Joe? Keith? Fuck it, let's just say Jerry, it's what I used to go by, let's use it now.

So, you're probably wondering what this is about. I'm wondering that too, is it going to be a record of my life? Or will it just be a description of the delusions that pass for memories every so often in my mind? I'd like to be a writer, or is the real, (proper?) word author? Either way, it'd be cool to write awesome fictional works but I don't think that'd get to the bottom of the mystery of what this piece is about. I guess i'll settle on the word tale. That can describe both fiction and non-fiction. I think. Yeah, just double-checked with Liz. It works.

So, let's start on my tale. First you'll need a bit of background. I lived in a place called Grenwall. It was a pretty cool place but not too fantastic, which kinda opposes most fictional works, I think. You ever notice how most home-towns are either shit holes for the main character or something wonderful and fantastic that they have to save? Well, Grenwall wasn't like that. It was decent, the education there was fine, crime rates weren't atrocious, but crime was still a thing. There were jobs going, but too many people who didn't give a fuck. Basically, it was fine, nothing to get all proud about, but nothing to to be ashamed of. So where do I fit into that? Well, if I remember rightly I grew up there with my childhood friend who I have promptly forgotten as I type this. All I can remember is that it was a dude. I guess we weren't that close if I can only remember his gender though, right? So I grew up with this guy, let's call him Steve. The best kind of generic name. (Yeah, fuck you John, stealing the spotlight for pseudonyms everywhere.) I was pretty happy with my family. Dad, mum and Liz, my sister who I think i mentioned earlier. She looks after me now. Wherever I am.

So, the tale starts when I was 21, I was done with school and hunting for a job whilst my family supported me. I had decent qualifications, nothing too fancy, I had skipped out on university in hopes of getting a job earlier but that failed. I'd like to say I was pretty smart, cuz I mean who wouldn't? Pride and all that jazz. So for the purpose of this tale, I was a smart bastard who just couldn't get on with employment. I was going nowhere in life.

Then came the game changer.

[Felicity]

Part 1. Jerrys Interview

So, the morning everything went to shit I spent most of the morning getting myself ready for an interview for a place in a small business starting up nearby. I was desperate, ok? Any work was good work. So I was standing there, combing my medium length auburn hair out of my sky blue eyes and away from my, if I may be so bold, handsome features. I think that, even if I was wearing Dads old, worn grey suit and faded blue tie, I looked pretty decent. I must warn you modesty probably won't be present in these pages.

I announced my leaving the house, only to get a muffled yell from Liz as a reply, and went on my way. I caught a taxi to a run down street out away from the town centre. Every building in the area looked rather simple, basic rectangular slabs of grey lining the road.Built for practicality, I suppose.

I made my way over to whichever slab gave some indication of being the right place and entered to find an attractive young secretary girl who looked bored as a plank of wood (Aha!). I walked over and asked after the interviewer a Mr Sloughman. She gave me directions and I'm pretty sure her lack of desire to even look at me put any conversation I may have made to a stop. I was never fantastci with women, despite my looks of course. You know, I really enjoy the fact that you can never actually see me. It's a nice feeling.

Anyway, I walk off to find Sloughman, I think he was this old guy, working to help his grandkid with the business or some other excuse to distract himself from retirement. He's not important. What's important is what he asked. See, whenever I ever did an interview, I'd always get real deep, try to look at myself "Objectively" to see what the interviewer would see and really try to dwell on the real important questions. The beginning of the interview was standard, asking about my qualifications and such, obvious things, you know? Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, I gave some pretty lackluster answers. I hadn't seen it worth the effort to go university, so I only had the grades I had from my mandatory years at school to go on and a bare amount of experience actually working. It was after this dreadful experience that Sloughman dropped the knowledge nuke on me.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

Ok, maybe not a knowledge nuke, but it DID get me to think. As I plodded back out after being quite clearly denied the position (Prick) , past the girl I'd likely never see again outside of the odd fantasy or two, I did just as I said previously. Thought. I didn't know what the fuck I was doing with my life, I was 21, jobless with no prospects out there and I had very few friends who weren't successful enough to depress me. Even my family was starting to give up on me, I could see their looks f slight shame when relatives visited and asked after me. To be frank, I was not on the best path in life. I mean, it wasn't the worst. That would probably involve having several mental and physical disabilities and literally no one to help me. But It wasn't the best walk of life.

Suddenly, a comet appeared in the sky, crashing down into the pavement as I walked.

Nahhhh, i'm taking the piss. It's not that kind of story. No, it was just a bloke who came crashing down, not a space rock. Heh, got you again didn't I? Unless you skipped ahead, in which case, fuck you you impatient little bugger. Take your time, savour the story, yeah? Although, I wasn't lying when I said a bloke crashed into the pavement. Just, he did it in a much more mundane way. Not what I'd expect of an Angel if I'm honest.

[Felicity]

Part 2: Name

So, this guy decides to decorate the pavement with his face. What do I do? I snigger, then I feel guilty and help him out. Evidently he heard my snigger (Or I wasn't hiding my grin very well, or at all) as he gave me one hell of a dirty look when I offered my hand. He did take it though.

"You ok?" I asked, definitely trying harder to keep a straight face. I even remember distinctly trying to look slightly concerned. Dunno if it worked, but it's the thought that counts. He nodded wordlessly and pushed past me, looking back at me like he thought I was gonna laugh at him as soon as he was turned away. The guy had a good intuition, that's all i'm gonna say. As he walked off, I start walking back where I was originally going, slightly more uplifted, when I saw a small little sparkle down on the ground near to a very, very white piece of cloth. I went over and picked it up, like the magpie I am, and noticed it was a small little gemstone with a lot of scratches and pockmarka. It was shimmering with a light yellow colour. I held it up to the sunlight to see it sparkle and promptly almost dropped it as a weird little shock made my hand spasm, like a very big version of a static shock. I tried this again a few times and the same thing happened, but the shock was getting weaker as I did it until there was no reaction. It almost didn't occur to me that the stone, now a duller colour than before, could have been the property of the guy who just fell over. However, he was gone now and I couldn't really be bothered to track him down.

Hey, don't look at me like that, it would have been too much of a hassle and I probably couldn't have found him anyway. He couldn't have gotten far, sure, but maybe he did? We'll never know.

I eventually get home and get changed into more casual clothes. That of jeans and a T-shirt I'd gotten on holiday in Lanzarote, one of the ones with highly immature sex jokes that only highly immature people buy. It featured a man and woman drawn like the little people used on bathroom signs enjoying each others company. Shuddup, I found it funny, I think I might still have it...

Anyway, I'm home and I tell Liz, and later my disappointed parents how the interview went. I got an earful and I just gave up and went upstairs to read, like normal. Now, when I say read, i'm not talking about anything of great quality. A long time ago, when I was but a young lad curious about the affairs of the heart, I once bought a cheap romance with the remainder of my pocket money and, well, never was anything so, honest. I'm telling you, Ramone taught me so much when I was 13. It's a wonder i'm still single. Ever since, i've been hooked, and it's a cheap hobby too. Ramone, Sylvester, Mr Harolds, all of them were idols of mine and still are to this day, anyone be damned if they say anything bad about those men. I realise, i'm ranting at this point, but romances, even cheap one, really are under-rated...

So, I go to sleep, never sparing another thought for the strange little curiosity still in my tux pocket.

[Felicity]

Part 3: The Family?

I said a little while ago that the morning of the interview were when thing started, right? I'm debating on changing that because now that i'm talking about it, I think it really wasn't. It was the morning after that when I woke up, bleary eyed and yawning despite it being 10 am on a Saturday, to find two new members sitting at the table along with my family. Mum and Dad were sitting at the table, already finished with their own meal and checking the news on their tablets as per usual. Liz on the other hand was looking right at me, very nervous.

She was twirling a lock of her own shoulder-length auburn hair as she watched me with shaky blue eyes like mine through a... Damn, I remember exactly what I thought then. That's surprising. Why the fuck is my sister wearing a monocle? I figured it was to do with our new guests, seeing as they too wore monocles. Anyway, the hair and eyes were, are, pretty much where our similarities stop. Mainly because she was, y'know, female. Rather than looking like me, an ever-so handsome man, she had softer looks, a button nose, rosy cheeks, yada-yada, typical 14 year old little sister. At that time she tended to lock herself away in her room. I decided it was studying. Of curse today she was down here. And staring at me. Intensely.

"Uh, morning. Anyone wanna clue me in?" I asked to the room as I went around the room looking for a bowl and some cereal. It was Dad who responded first, giving me a strange look. "Into what?" I love when people respond that way. Ever so helpful.

"Why we have two new guests. And why Liz has a new accessory." My last words had a fairly big effect on the room. My parents gave me the queerest look I'd ever gotten, the two new visitors beamed at me and then Liz downright squealed. She shot out of her seat, knocking it over and scaring the shit out of my parents, and tackled me with a hug. Unfortunately I couldn't juggle the surprise and my food at once so I dropped the bowl of Coco snaps I had prepared onto the floor. (Didn't matter much, stupid knock off brands taste like shit anyway)

My dad then laughed at me heartily, my mother giggling slightly next to him. "Did that scare you Jerry?" He asked.

I suppose he thought I had dropped it in my shock at the chair. Despite my rational mind knowing why I had really dropped my food and that he was being weirder than me, I still blushed. I grabbed some kitchen roll and started clearing up my mess. When I had done so and gathered the shards of the bowl, I walked out and around the house. Liz followed me, waiting until we were actually outside to talk. "What the f- hell is going on?" She asked me in a rush like I had as much a clue as her. I gave her a blank stare, noting absent-mindedly how she had almost cursed whilst I tried to figure out the situation. I sighed and sat down in one of our old plastic chairs, enjoying the summer morning and the breeze.

"Tell me everything you remember first" I told her. I had every reason to assume something had happened to her. Best I got the whole story then and there. She shuffled a bit, unsure of something. I'd like to say that I knew everything going on her head, the competent big brother who knew his little sister as one would expect of a responsible sibling. Truth was I knew as much about her as I did about the average woman. Jack shit. So I was sat there, trying my damndest to appear like a responsible elder until she finally came out with it.

[Felicity]

Part 4: The story of Liz

Hihi, if you couldn't guess from the title, it's Liz speaking, or writing. Fuck if I know. My brother decided it'd be easier if I filed you in on the moment that Changed my life. FOREVER. It's a tale of shock, awe, magic and mystery! It'll have you on the edge of your seat! And Jerry is telling me it has to be written within the hour, so i'm just going to cut the shit.

So, that one uneventful night, I was lounging in my room. At that point, I wa going through a, uh, ohase where I was obsessed with this one band. Ok, one guy from the band. He seemed so perfect at the time. Anyway, I had a bit f a fixation on the guy so I had clung posters and photos with the guy fucking everywhere, door, walls, ceiling even on my bloody laptop. The reason I had actually got up was to search downstairs for a pic of him I thought I had left downstairs.

I crept down the stairs, it was close to 1 am and like fuck was I getting yelled at for being up that late, so I was being rather sneaky, master ninja that I am. Unfortunately, that meant I nearly shit myself when the kicthen light flicked on.

I whirled around to see two men, grinning at me. Well, one of them was trying to suppress a grin. The other was openly sniggering at my evidently confused and quickly pissed off expression. The one on the right was, unfortunately, quite the looker. He had perfectly chiselled features like fucking Da Vinci or someone crafted him. He looked manly as fuck, unlike my brother who will undoubtedly hit me when he reads this. Love ya bro. To actually give you details, he had short coal black hair with a trimmed beard that half covered one hell of a face. He had lovely yellow eyes too, although I didn't notice until later that they were slitted like a cats. Looker boy was wearing a coal black suit with some fancy ass embroidery, snaking all around the jacket of his suit, even going on to his matching shirt and tie. Made it look like it was kinda smoky in hindsight.. His companion looked rather, uh, different. He had neon pink hair sticking out from his temples with the rest of his head being completely bald. He had clown make-up adorning his face too, minus the absurd lipstick. His eyes were also a perfect match to his brothers, that same luminous yellow with the slits that would have unnerved me IF I HAD BLOODY NOTICED. In contrast to his head he wore not the clown suit I expected but, well, a fucking bikini. Let me just say, even if he was in shape, he was way too fucking hairy for that, especially because his body hair was also neon pink.

that said, they both slowly stopped grinning when I grabbed the nearest weapon, a rolling pin ( a woman using a kitchen tool for a weapon. Feminism ho(!)) and immediately swung it at the clowns skull. Bikini boy did not like this as he stumbled back onto his as. However, Looker stepped in and immediately grabbed my arm. That was no bueno, as you can understand, so I swung again for this guys head. Even if it isn't a zombie flick, aiming for the head is typically a good idea. Looker boy was thinking along the same lines though as his palm raced up towards my face and lapped something cold onto my face. At first, it stung like fuck, what felt like fiery little teeth were chewing into the edges of my right eye socket. Then, I couldn't move for the next five hours. I also couldn't hear or see anything out of the right side of my head. Of course the fuckers knw to stay on that side and whisper like hell.

And so that is how I ended up waiting for five hours until dawn when I finally was able to move. I even heard Jerry get up to take a piss, which was just downright horrible when in my predicament. When I could move though, I waited for a while, hoping for an opportunity to hear something or, y'know, ambush the two strangers to twat them over the head. That time never came though, I was always too bloody hesitant, and finally I heard the family stirring. The trangers grabbed me and dragged me up to sit at the table. "Sit still" was the only words they specifically Looker boy, said to me. And so I waited until finally Jerry came down.

If this isn't good enough for you Jerry, suck my metaphorical dick, this is what you get in an hour.

[Felicity]

((Prefacer: Jerry is kinda homophobic, though he wouldn't admit it. That said, he uses several slurs for homosexual people for terms to offend people. He'll grow out of it eventually but for now, be warned))

Part I lost count, I'm smart.

I sighed and frowned at Liz's, uh, eccentric tale. What the fuck was I meant to make of that? That didn't even sound like something out of a movie. If it wasn't for him sitting in my kitchen right now, I wouldn't have believed there was a bikini-clad clown in the world let alone apparently attacking my sibling, who did the ever so lovely job of filling you al in. I stood up and looked through the window. My parents were sitting with their backs to me, probably chatting about some inane babble or bitching about how Dad hadn't gotten that pay raise he oh so dearly deserved. Our visitors on the other hand were looking directly at me. With smiles on their faces too, although the sly smirk on "Lookers" face as Liz dubbed him was a stark contrast to the clowns manic grin. At least he was sticking to the part. What the hell was with these cocksmokers? Did they think I'd take kindly to them? Offer them some generous hospitality? Lemme tell you, Jerry Caloca (Fuck off, it was the quickest surname I could think of) has never been accused of being generous.

I turned to look at Liz, making sure my face was all stiff and rigid. Strong. "Ok, what we're going to do is wait for our parents to leave. If they can't perceive you or those asshats it'll be easier to deal with the situation when they are gone. I'll be more free to talk without being accused of seeing a drug-induced hallucination" I wish that was a joke but one time when I was like 14 my dad did sit me down for a "Chat" where he indirectly accused me of such activities. Fun times. Liz certainly looked anxious. I didn't blame her, it felt skeevy, having to skirt around mum and dad. Parents are more oft than not some of the scariest and most comforting authority figures you'll ever have in your life. Not to be fucked with. Unless you're being a rebel. Me and Liz had never been like that though, so it's a moot point. Back to topic!

So, Liz and I went back inside, I almost forgot to leave the door open a little longer than normal to let her through and Liz almost got a door to the face. With that great start to discussions, Liz relayed to the pair that we would wit for a while before any discussion opened up. The two nodded along quite reasonably. Kind of good sign. Reasonable was almost always a good sign. Unless you're talking to a psychopath. Then reasonable can get unnerving.

Some 45 minutes later my parents were ready and off to work, though Dad did force his semi-occasional suggestions to get out of the house down my throat again. This time he even gave me a straight up application form, like I was even incapable of getting one of those! I had just went out for an interview yesterday too for christs sake... Once the wedded duo had left, I kicked the discussion off as I sat down at the table again, opposing the two whilst my sister shifted to sit beside me. Yeah, sibling unity! Ok, that cheesy line caught me a whack to the head by Liz just now "Hi, hello, why is my sister immaterial?"

This brought a cackle out of Mr Clown. "What, no ''who are you people, why are you here?'' This one is rather blunt, right, Lin?" His partner, Lin, shared his amusement to an extent. Fuck, if they had stayed amused for much longer I was gonna end up running out of decent words. I don't like repeating myself. That includes when a question is blown off.

"Glad to see you find me interesting. Maybe you could repay me with an answer. A straight one too, funny man." I glared at the two of them, hoping to give off the ideal pissed off older brother vibe. That's what I think I was trying at least.

That wiped the smirks off their faces. "I suppose you're right. One action must be repaid, one way or another." Lin said in a deep, masculine voice. Yeah, that meant he'd be getting an ass-kicking if what Liz told me was half-true. Hopefully the false half was him being competent in a fight. "We have nullified your sisters existence temporarily. That's what that monocle is for. A lovely little device of my design. It's a very effective way to deal with witnesses. Can't tell anyone what has happened if no one knows you were ever anywhere." He grinned, quite happy with his mind-blowing little explanation. Hopefully I didn't give off more amazement than surprise. I would have put it away as simple bullshit, who the fuck has ever heard of Exist-away Eyewear? But it was hard to not remember that my parents had acted exactly like that was the case. Plus I kinda wanted it to exist so I could snag one for myself. To use on someone else. As I just informed Liz, I do not think I would look dashing in a monocle. Anyway, this guys explanation left one very obvious question.

"Ok, i'll bite. Why can I acknowledge Lizs existence?" I hate asking honest questions sometimes. It's a straight request for someone to tell you something. It gives the other person leverage. Needing something always puts you in that position even if most people are wonderfully nice enough not to even consider it. This Jackass was not one of those people.

"Well, isn't that quite the question. I'll offer you an answer in exchange from one from you." This guy was grinnign way too hard. Like a fucking shark about to bite into its prey.

"Deal" I answered without thinking too hard about it.

Now the Clown cackled again. "Okay, what the fuck is so funny now?" I snapped at the fucker. Fuck. I hope you aren't an impressionable kid reading this...

Lin sat back and grinned. "As we thought, you have no clue." He turned and looked at the clown, making a face as though he was really conflicted about his situation. "Whatever am I to do with this man?"

I decided I didn't like these people.

"Care to explain?" I nearly growled. I didn't dare glance at Liz, she'd either be giggling at me or looking terrified. I wasn't sure I could handle either of those.

"Never allow such freedom for a Fae, Stonebearer"

Definitely didn't like these guys

[Felicity]

Part: Time to drop the parts

"I shall be kind" Lin drawled lazily, like he held all the power in this situation. I don't see how. Aside from a supposed universally complete hold over my sister. Ok, not really the time to make jokes. "I will simply ask how you came upon the small yellow stone in your possession. Answer me that and I will answer your own question." Wait, did he mean the little gem that was fond of giving me static shocks? At the time it was still in the pocket of my dads suit, it had slipped my mind to get it. Still, if these guys were interested in it, that meant I had some form of leverage. So long as I didn't give away too much information.

"I picked it up by chance." I replied briskly. I saw a flash of irritation in Lins eyes. The clown was silently tutting at my response.

"Lin takes pity on you and you throw back a cheap answer in thanks? You ought to learn some manners youngling" Clown said. Was youngling even a word? Like, ever? Sttill, I decided from his hint that perhaps mpre detail would be good.

"I'm not lying. I really did find it by chance. I was coming back from an interview and I bumped into some guy who tripped and dropped it. I picked it up, looked at it and the thing started trying to become a defibrillator" Lin looked confused at my mention of a defibrillator. It crossed my mind that I was thinking of the wrong thing but then Clown turned to Lin and muttered to him.

"This ones memories say that it is a device that shocks those it is used on to stimulate a heart after it has stopped functioning" Huh. Did this guy really not know what a defibrillator was? Then again, I had doubted my own knowledge at the time. He who has not sinned, cast the first stone....

"So, you mean to say that upon picking it up, you felt a sensation of surging electricity?" Lin further asked. I was considering pointing out that that would require an answer from him first. So I did.

"Excuse me, I'm owed an answer." I pointed out. Lin seemed quite annoyed at my impeding on his interrogation. Good.

"Very well. You wish to know why you may perceive your sister? I can only assume it is linked to your asosciation with the stone."

"Wait, so you mean you don't know? That is not worth the same as my answer."

"What I gave you with that deal was not simply an answer but the experience that a fool lacks. Never allow a free question to be posed to you youngling. It could cost you your entirety." Lin snaped back at me. Evidently I was testing his patience. I swear this slipping with his grammar. I had to wonder if English was their first language. Their appearance and accents certainly gave no hints. Hell, looking at Clown, I wouldn't think he was even capable of communication in any form outside of grunts, bikini clad as he was. Heh, making them sound stupid makes me feel better.

In fact, I probably shouldn't have skimmed over his mention of the fae. I checked back through my memory for information on the Fae. I had some interest in mythology, generic Greek, Norse, Egyptian lore more so than English, Welsh and Irish lore. Still, the word Fae rang a bell. Typically they were the things that stabbed the thing that went bump in the night in the spine. They were devious creatures that tricked and pranked heroes whilst never telling a single lie. That's kinda what made them interesting to me more than stories of knights and dragons. The Fae could never tell a single lie and were always true to their word. And only their word. They were slicker than a greased lawyer and could always find some loophole that allowed them to fuck with the heroes of the stories, sometimes literally if they really were fond of looking gorgeous and doing gorgeous all the time. Still, I couldn't remember too much more. Like I said, I preferred myths with Gods. Because who doesn't like a good smiting?

Still, it meant that at the very least, this guy was operating under the same rules as the Fae in his mind. Which meant he could not lie. I also noted that Clown wasn't necessarily working under Fae rules

"Regardless, I would like to pursue my previous question. What sensation did you feel when you picked up the stone?" Lin asked. Evidently he wouldn't let that go and, as far as he was concerned, we were even for answers. That also meant I had no obligation to answer his question now though.

"I felt like I was about to have to change my pants." I replied crudely. Evidently I had reached the end of Lin's patience.

"You insufferable little speck of wasting youth, I have obliged your impertinence up until now out of courtesy and apology for our unfortunate actions in regards to your sister but I refuse to suffer any more of your drivel." He spat at me, slamming his hands down onto the table and almost breaking it as he stood up in his fury, his prety face contorted. "Seeing as you seem intent on drawing this out I shall cut to the chase. I shall offer you another deal. You shall take your sisters place, wear the monocle and come with me to my liege lord with the stone. In return you will be granted right of safe passage and an oath of hospitality whilst you are in my care."

I considered what he was saying. Evidently something was up. All I could confirm was that this guy was bending the laws of the universe somehow and that my sister was ill-equipped to deal with that. Then again, neither was I. Furthermore, this guy was working on Fae logic, which meant that his word, if he was what he claimed, was as good as gold for such a straight offer. Did I dare?

"Jerry..." Liz spoke up. She had been uncharacteristically quiet throughout, I had nearly forgotten she was even here. "I swear to God almighty that if you don't take that deal I will abuse that guilt trip until the end of time." Ok, yeah, that was more like Liz. She's even smirking now.

I sighed. "I also want your word that neither of you will return to this house without my or Liz's permission."

That came very close to pushing Lin over the edge. For several moments it was clear that he was restraining himself as he gripped the table so tight he risked breaking it more, cracking the edges where he had a grip.

"It's a smart thing for him to ask Lin. Would you begrudge him that?" Clown asked in a far more softer tone than I had come to expect from him in our short time together.

"Very well." Lin repeated. I noted he was fond of that phrase. Whist I noted that mentally, the man with the smoky motif who was desperately tying not to throttle me wave his hand and all of a sudden the kitchen window began to glow. It came out of its frame and started to grow, it's dimensions changing until it represented a pure white door that made me think of a falling screen of milk. "You may enter the Faes domain. I offer you safe passage and my hospitality according to the laws of the Sidhe and I swear that I nor my compatriots shall enter this domain again without your express permission"

And so I went through the Milk door.

[Felicity]

Milk doors do not lead to the the Land of Cows.

No, instead it led to what looked like hell if they decided to take on an Arctic motif and bring in some interior designers.

What surrounded me was what looked like the entrance hall of a traditional castle. I had to wonder how big the rest of the place was, seeing as this hall was literally the size of my house. There were torches with blue fire lining the icy brick walls that surrounded myself and, oddly enough, they actually worked. I think. The room was definitely more toasty than the theme would actually suggest. As the walls rose the brick began to smooth away into what looked like the walls of an ice cave as they curved over my head to form the ceiling. There was a large blue rug on the centre of the floor with an embroidery of a very large snowflake being flown around by a gust of wind. Now, I don't exactly have an eye for this stuff, but the detail on that rug was mind-blowing, the shimmering blue and white threads used made it look like the snowflake could melt beneath my feet. Aside from that the only really notable thing in the room was a large blue and white door, in keeping with the ice colour scheme. It looked like the kind of door that someone had obviously spent too much money and time making, with the incredibly ornate patterns swirling around on the side of the door.

I stood gawking for a few seconds, Lin and Clown walked in. However, in the seconds when I stepped through the portal and stood looking at the room, their entire attire had changed. They each now wore what looked like some sort of uniform, if the uniform looked swanky as all hell.They each wore silk tops that shifted and shimmered as they moved underneath the navy blue blazer they wore on top. Their trousers looked to be fashioned of a similar quality, some sort of light material, the same shade of colour as their jackets which had an embroidered eye over the heart. Their simple black leather shoes made no noise at all as they gracefully stepped onto the snowflake rug. At least the clown wasn't in a fucking bikini anymore...

It wasn't until I looked closely that I saw that their tops weren't made of shimmering silk, but some sort of crystalline chain mail with links so small I could barely tell they were links at all.

My patrons wearing armour? Even if I did question how they changed so fast, there was a more pressing question on my mind. Did I need armour too?

"Speak only when spoken to, accept no offerings and for the love of all you hold dear, think about what you say. You may survive this Court." Clown said to me. There was no smile on his face.

They both walked towards the door which began to open from the other side. I followed through with them. When I did, my brain had trouble deciding what to prioritise looking at. The room itself or the inhabitants of.

The room itself was similar to the entrance hall, different in the fact that it made the hall look like a fucking slum and was the size of five football fields.. The torches shone in far more shades of blue and white and even green and purple to create a fantastic light show on the reflective surface of the icy walls. There was also various tables scattered around the room, fashioned after snowflakes, that held the kind of foods that made advertised food look unsightly, On the other hand there also dishes that did not look appetizing. Right next to a bowl of perfectly ripe apples you would find a rotting bear carcass. And no one was even glancing at it. A plate of food I couldn't even name but looked delicious were placed just to the right of a bowl of rotting eggs. Oh, they also had some doughnuts too, in case that struck your fancy too.

Still, seeing as I had already ate (and was intent on keeping that down) I tried looking at the people in the room. Most of them were men, each looking as handsome as the next, with perfect faces and builds that would put most boybands to shame. There looked to be five different groups who wore the same colours and some sort of sigil, similar to the one on Lin's and Clown's own jackets. One set of people bore the same colours as Lin and Clown, the same Navy blue jacket with an eye over their heart. Then there were a group that bore light blue jackets and a cloud that seemed to be snowing on their own hearts. Then there were people with emerald green jackets and what looked a sprout for their sigil. Next was a much smaller group, though certainly no less noticeable. They were solely made up of women, from what I could see (not that I was complaining), wearing a purple sunrise on their own matching jacket. Of course I didn't stop to stare at that particular emblem. The situation seemed more serious than that.

The last group, which seemed to consist of five people, two men and three women, wore entirely white attire. Evidently they were important , as they each stood before one woman sitting on a throne overlooking the entire room, wearing a pure black dress. I couldn't really make out many details though, seeing as they were very, very far away.

Everyone looked to be in the midst of mingling as we entered but when I walked in literally the entire room went silent. The sound of my trainers squeaking against the smooth floor echoed across the hall. It was fucking unnerving, having everyone's sight locked onto me. I imagine it's what a stage actor feels like, minus not knowing what the fuck to say.

((Just setting up the scene here))

[Felicity]

Lin and Clown walked forward, towards the throne on the other end of the incredibly long room. It seemed fairly impractical, even with the large amount of people the room wasn't close to even halfway full. As we walked, the crowd continued to stare in silence. All the beautiful faces locked onto me as I walked just behind Lin and Clown were really, really unnerving. I felt like a fly watched by a cat. I just hoped these cats were too lazy to take action.

Unfortunately, that was not the case. One of the women in the purple jackets, a lovely woman with amber eyes and hair like liquid gold pumped with shinier gold, walked over, intercepting us on our little march across the room. She didn't even acknowledge Lin or Clown, she just brushed past my two apparent benefactors, who looked t be expecting some form of discourse, and extended her hand to grab my face. Her fingers were unnaturally long, like I've got fairly long, spindly fingers, the kind you'd see on a pianist, but this woman's fingers looked like they could reach around my skull.

Before she could touch me though, Clown was there with a serious expression on his face, he placed his hands on her arm and forearm and proceeded to break her arm at the elbow, her appendage bending with a sickening crack as the joint was forced to bend the wrong way. The woman screamed as she wrenched her arm out of Clowns grip., the horrid noise pierced the silence in the hall. She swung the now limp arm at Clown who grabbed it mid swing. without even pausing he yanked it, with seemingly no more force than if I was pulling open a particularly stiff door, and ripped the woman's arm off, sending her reeling past him with the force. He threw her own arm back at her. The makeshift weapon spun once as it closed the short distance between them, hitting her solidly in the stomach and plopping her ass down onto the smooth icy floor.

The exchange had been short but had left one hell of a mess. The wound had spurted a short fountain of blood as soon as Clown tore the arm off and, whilst none of it had thankfully gotten onto me (thank God), and the floor was now dangerously slick. I hopped around the mess to catch up to Lin, who had not even stopped to look at the encounter. I looked back as we continued to walk. Clown was leaning down, tapping the pooling blood with his ring finger three times and, to my waning surprise, freezing it solid. He stood and then shattered the frozen blood with the heel of his shoe. It shattered into very, very fine dust, not shards as I expected it to. One of the other women in the purple jackets also went over, picking up her friend(?) and her arm lying in front of her. She picked her up in a fireman lift and walked to the entrance hall door. They were both quick and efficient in their actions,

All of that happened in a couple of minutes, tops. The entire crowd watching it, as silent as I was coming to expect of them.

At that point I was resigning myself to the possibility of these people not just being weirdos with one hell of an elaborate set-up. It was a real long-shot when I stepped through the Milk portal but now, with something as utterly brutal as that, I had to face that things were weird. Still, I wasn't going to let myself get overwhelmed. That's the worst thing someone could do in that situation, right? The way I saw it, the best possible way of dealing with this was to get savvy as fast as fucking possible. Lin claimed he was one of the fae. Whenever they fucked heroes over, it was playing on their ignorance and their assumptions, so being overly attentive and cautious looked to be the best way to handle myself. With that in mind, I looked at Lin, who continued walking forward and didn't even spare a glance back at me. He wasn't babysitting me. Clown had already caught back up to us, sorting out his ruffled appearance as much as he could, despite being drenched in off-coloured blood. He flashed me a quick grin, oddly it didn't look malicious but more reassuring. Or trying to be, at least.

There were two more people of the crowd, this time two men wearing a light blue jacket and a green jacket. Clown dealt with them much the same way, smashing the blue jackets skull into the floor and merely throwing the green jacket into the crowd. Despite their attempts to do... something, we eventually made it across the stupidly long room of doom to stand before the throne with the black-clothed woman and the five whites.

Now that they were closer, I could make out the whites symbols, if only barely. On their breasts they wore barely distinguishable snowflakes almost the same colour as their white jackets. All five of them had long, shoulder-length white hait styled to identical perfection. The only percievable differences between each of them aside from gender were the eyes. scarlet red, sky blue and leaf green for the guys and bright yellow and cyan for the girls. They each remained silent. The guy with red eyes looked up to the woman in black, apparently waiting on her.

The woman in black stood. the dress she wore was reminiscent of the kind of dress a stereotypical aristocrat, the bodice clinging to her upper body distractingly, revealing enough to draw the eye of most men and get them in trouble with their significant other whilst the lower part of her dress concealed her almost wholly as the ebony black ruffled material spread out elegantly. Her face was hidden behind a black veil. However, the veil didn't stop her sing-song voice from echoing out across the hall for literally everyone to hear. "Welcome, Stonebearer. Thank you for accepting my invitation and escort to my Court." She greeted me. Jesus christ was that voice alluring. At that moment I felt like I was going to float up and go to her, floating on her voice Pepe le pew style. Still, that was kinda physically impossible and I was forcig myself mentally to try and stay focused.

First I started by focusing my line of sight decidedly on the womans veiled face. As though I was looking her directly in the eyes. Next, I paused for yet another moment and deliberated my words carefully. Words were important here, especially because I could not do what Clown had done prior. Finally I steadied my voice which I knew would squeak if I blurted something out. Then I spoke.

"You're welcome. Your man was quite convincing. May I ask who has invited me?" Good, no voice crack like a 13 year old. I just had to keep it to short sentences. Still, the person who answered me was not the woman in black herself. It was the cyan eyed white woman.

"You have the distinct honour of being brought into the court of Queen Maeve, Monarch of the Winter court which presides over the Frozen Night and Mother to Lady Nyx. Eternal in her beauty and infinite in her inevitability"

The Fuck?

[Felicity]

Ok, ok, ok, Maeve, the queen with the long title, apparently. At the time, I was very afraid. I didn't know why of course, I'd never heard the name Maeve in any myths I'd heard so of course I didn't know how much trouble she was. Still, I was afraid. I wasn't even looking her directly into her eyes, just at the veil over her face but she gave off this feeling, this creepy vibe. It was slick and greasy, a feeling that I always associated with the shitty attitudes of teenage gossips except this felt infinitely more potent.

Again, I worked up some words, though I rushed and they tumbled out of my mouth quicker than I would have liked. "Good evening, Morning er, Pleased to meet your Your Majesty or, uh, Grace. Nice to meet someone who is infinite" And with that one sentence, I was forever doomed to ridicule despite my prior resolve to sound somewhat credible.. The entire hall burst out laughing, my horribly ineloquent phrasing was probably the equivalent to a donkeys braying. I glanced at Clown and Lin, the former was laughing openly as well and Lin was smirking and not hiding it all. Asshats. My lack of decorum felt so much worse when I remembered I was still dressed in what I went to sleep in last night, a simple t-shirt and flannel pajama bottoms. Amidst all the gloriously fucking fashionable dicks there I looked like I needed my mother to dress me.

Can you tell this isn't a very happy memory for me?

Still, once the laughter died down to a silence, the Queen, Maeve, responded to my blundering and though she never said a word about it, her impeccable speech and manners just emphasised my blunders "Your compliments are well received but alas, if we stopped to pay each other such kind words I fear we may never reach the reason I asked you to stand before my court and I." Ok, this is what I wanted to know, no more beating around the bush. "Near eighteen hours past in the mortal world and in our Domain, a... sensation was felt by every fae creature with a shred of sentience. Myself included. For something in the mortal realm to be felt all throughout this world, it has but two precedents. First, the event the mortals refer to as the birth of your Messiah and the other when the mortal King Arthur first drew the holy sword Caliburn from its stone sheath. So, this begs the question. What exactly did you do to replicate this? Our seers have only been able to see one image. You, holding a small gemstone" The lyrical voice from behind the veil sounded curious but I could still tell that she expected an answer regardless.

I then fucked up for the second time, though this one was received far more seriously.. "And what would you offer me for that answer?" The hall didn't fall silent, it was already that way to begin with. Instead, the room became so very tense, even someone as dense as I could feel it. Every eye in the room was focused on either myself or Queen Maeve. She showed no reaction and for a single minute, she was completely silent. When she did open her mouth to speak, I was so focused on the woman that I could hear her take a breath to speak despite the distance between us.

So when the door at the back of the room burst open with an impossibly loud crash and a rush of air and ice chips, I literally yelped with fright. The air and ice chips was followed by an incredibly fast moving figure approaching, I couldn't make out anything other than a blur. It raced past me, jumping up towards Maeve, getting past her white entourage and coming to within a few feet of her before being slammed back down into the icy floor and making a large crater, the edges cracking and spiralling along the previously clear floor like a spiders web. The entire affair lasted maybe two seconds, even quicker than Clowns fiasco.

Now I got a good look at the figure. He was a young man, maybe in his mid 20s, and completely bald. He was wearing what looked like some armour made of black, leathery material that had a lot of items that looked suspiciously like ammunition and some kind of grenade hanging off of it. In his right hand he held a short, straight blade and in his other one of the grenades, this one looked like the standard kind, the ones that if you saw you fucking ran from. Luckily for him the pin wasn't pulled. His face, which under normal circumstances would have been considered strong and appealing in a rugged way, was contorted in pain and anger. He was not a happy camper.

One of the whites, the guy with red eyes, immediately spoke in outrage. "An impudent fool trying to take the life of our Monarch? Fool!" The general sentiment of anger was echoed throughout the crowd and the man just let out a strangled cry of what looked like defiance but sounded like a dying cat. Now that I looked, there was a slight shimmering just above him, like a giant barely translucent slab of... something.

Whilst I stared at the man I hadn't noticed that the Queen had descended from her ostentatious throne and now stood at the edge of the creature, so when I turned and saw her there suddenly I was once again shocked. I've never liked being scared like that but this was getting ridiculous.

"Forgive us this intrusion. Please allow me to dispatch this nuisance." There was no musical quality to her voice. When she spoke it felt like thousands of ice cold needles were pricking my body. She was not happy. One of the whites stepped forward, presumably to object. Maybe they thought she was above it. Despite this, she shot one look at the white and he closed his mouth before he spoke a word. "I will display what happens when one interrupts me." before she even finished her sentence the man renewed his strangled screams, his eyes bulging as though he was being strangled, he looked like the pain was growing even worse with every second.

My heart was racing, I couldn't let this happen, could I? I couldn't, right? Beofre I knew what I was saying I ran towards him, yelling as I went. "The price for my answer is his life! Give me this mans life for my story!"