TheIronButtcheek Posted March 16, 2015 Share Posted March 16, 2015 OK, there's this girl I like, let's just call her "Jenny" for now. So, this girl is madly in love with another guy, just because he has muscle. Well, she liked me back around Christmas, and I liked her. Thing is, though, someone told me that she wouldn't date me because her best friend liked me. Her best friend doesn't like me anymore, but "Jenny" has been smitten by another guy. HELLLP! I needz this girl... btw, I'm a teen, don't tell me to get laid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catman9222 Posted March 16, 2015 Share Posted March 16, 2015 Do you even lift bro? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ArmoredGuardian Posted March 16, 2015 Share Posted March 16, 2015 Wtf is this... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jelly Posted March 16, 2015 Share Posted March 16, 2015 honestly if "muscle" is all she's looking for then you shouldnt waste time on her lmao Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maelstrom Posted March 16, 2015 Share Posted March 16, 2015 honestly if "muscle" is all she's looking for then you shouldnt waste time on her lmao That's the only point he's willing to admit to falling short in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonikku Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 You need to remember that good things take time. Build your relationship with her, gradually. And eventually, when the time is right, you have to tell her...? See the things with some girls is, they'll like a different guy just because of something not wholesome, like physical traits. Many guys just want to bust a nut, and when that happens, they'll get bored of that girl and forget about her. This situation is happens too goddamn much. >> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheIronButtcheek Posted March 17, 2015 Author Share Posted March 17, 2015 honestly if "muscle" is all she's looking for then you shouldnt waste time on her lmao Well no, she claims he's "smart" and "nice". I know the guy. Hell, I'm friends with him (sorta). He's a smart-a$$ that thinks he knows everything, and smarts off to EVERYTHING I say. What she sees in him, IDFK. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
primrose Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 Well no, she claims he's "smart" and "nice". I know the guy. Hell, I'm friends with him (sorta). He's a smart-a$$ that thinks he knows everything, and smarts off to EVERYTHING I say. What she sees in him, IDFK. in all honesty, if he mouths off well, he probably is intelligent. it's hard to be a good wise-a* if you're not smart. this seems like a thread intended for others attracted to girls though, so i'll be leaving. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tringus Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 If it's just muscles, then just start working out. Otherwise, I would try seeing if they're actually a couple first, before doing anything. Always make sure they're single BEFORE you make a move, because it would be embarrassing if you did anything if they're together. I did that once when I liked a girl, and it was a dark day for me indeed. Of course, I have a different kind of situation now, so yeah.... Let's just hope things work out for the both of us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lostelle Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 He's a smart-a$$ that thinks he knows everything Totally not me. Anyway, if you can find a girl with a sense of humor that's all you need Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shanco Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 If it's just muscles, then just start working out.I would agree with everything Trevo said except for this. Changing yourself for a girl is often a waste of time, since if she liked you beforehand, she would have liked you just as you were. EDIT: It's probs too late to get her to notice you and try to win her over. Chances are they won't be together very long if he's just a constant smartass to everyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamitako Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 (edited) Well, for one, this isn't a very complete story. But if I had to guess, this Jenny actually does have plenty of reason to like him and you're just being jealous. And if she doesn't, then maybe she just has bad taste. And if she's got bad taste you prolly shouldn't waste your time on her Ima be honest though, the attitude you're showing with this thread is not a very mature one. I don't know you very well, so I could be wrong obvs. But as it stands, this kind of attitude is extremely depreciative of this young woman. You speak almost as though she's been stolen from you. And no matter what your interpretation of her reasons is, she does have feelings for this other guy. If you really care about her, then you should be willing to let her make her own decisions (ever heard the phrase "if you love something, set it free"? That's a really good phrase) Otherwise you're just a self-centered jerk TL;DR Maybe stop assuming you know better than her for a minute EDIT: Also, you said you both liked each other on a previous occasion, but you decided not to make a move... So now you're changing your mind, but she's already moved on. So maybe instead of chasing after the train that already left the station, you should learn from this and get to the next train on time Edited March 17, 2015 by KosherKitten Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pixl Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 Well, for one, this isn't a very complete story. But if I had to guess, this Jenny actually does have plenty of reason to like him and you're just being jealous. And if she doesn't, then maybe she just has bad taste. And if she's got bad taste you prolly shouldn't waste your time on her Ima be honest though, the attitude you're showing with this thread is not a very mature one. I don't know you very well, so I could be wrong obvs. But as it stands, this kind of attitude is extremely depreciative of this young woman. You speak almost as though she's been stolen from you. And no matter what your interpretation of her reasons is, she does have feelings for this other guy. If you really care about her, then you should be willing to let her make her own decisions (ever heard the phrase "if you love something, set it free"? That's a really good phrase) Otherwise you're just a self-centered jerk TL;DR Maybe stop assuming you know better than her for a minute ^ Yeah, as a rule, if you find yourself treating a girl like an "object" or a "goal to reach", you're treating her wrong. Plenty of my female friends talk to me about this and how offended they get when a guy starts to act in this way. Just take a step back and try to be conscientious. If you assess the situation with a clear mind, you might find a better way of looking at things (and, if she does like this guy, maybe you can put your mind at ease too, and move on quicker). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 Seems like she moved on. I suggest you do the same, mate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jory Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 Seems like she moved on. I suggest you do the same, mate. Very much this. Having been in a similar situation I know it can be frustrating, but trust me when I say that the best thing for you is to get distance and perspective. It may seem like the end of the world now but, like you said, you're still young. You won't find "the one" on your first try. I'm in love with one of my best friends. She's cool and sweet and everything I've ever claimed to want in a girl, but she doesn't feel the same about me. And the fact of the matter is that because I care about her I have to respect that. You can't force a relationship to happen and if she likes another guy there's probably a good reason for it. If you really like her, then you should be happy that she's happy. All you can do is look at yourself in the mirror and make yourself a better person. Work harder in school, be active, and most importantly be kind to others. I'll tell you what a good friend told me that helped me realize that there are more important things than the chase: "Love comes when it's most needed and least expected." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commander Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 Welcome to Reborn where we give you anything from competitive teams to dating advice. Yeah, a lot of people here have given some good advice, but the best might be to just move on. Relationships come and go and I've a friend who's been through seven girlfriends now so don't drown yourself in thoughts this girl was perfect for you. Something better might come your way down the road. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shing Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 Just move on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JapaneseWallpaper Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 in all honesty, if he mouths off well, he probably is intelligent. it's hard to be a good wise-a* if you're not smart. this seems like a thread intended for others attracted to girls though, so i'll be leaving. As i am a large smart-ass, i can vouch for this... but i guess the way i got my girlfreind was being myself... my weird, funny and of course NICE self. so believe in yourself mate (and also she asked me out but lets not talk about that lmao) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yash Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 I have to agree with KosherKitten on this.. You say you are a teen so I can understand that you won't be very mature.. But if you are mature enough to consider relationships then you need to understand that in a relationship you should respect that person.. You say that you know that guy but from your post it seems that you barely know anything about him and are just acting immature and a little jealous.. Plus it seems that you think you are better than him and that Jenny doesn't know that.. But you should realize that only Jenny will know what is good for her and which one of the both of you is better for her.. I'd advise you to become a little bit more emotionally and mentally mature before getting into a relationship with someone.. From your few posts on the forum that I have read I seriously think you need to learn to respect others, specially girls.. If you don't it doesn't matter how nice/smart/good you think you may be, you will never end up in a good relationship.. Apart from this, as a few others have said, you need to move on.. You are young right now and there is more to life.. Studies, friends and developing yourself should be your focus.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JapaneseWallpaper Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 I have to agree with KosherKitten on this.. You say you are a teen so I can understand that you won't be very mature.. But if you are mature enough to consider relationships then you need to understand that in a relationship you should respect that person.. You say that you know that guy but from your post it seems that you barely know anything about him and are just acting immature and a little jealous.. Plus it seems that you think you are better than him and that Jenny doesn't know that.. But you should realize that only Jenny will know what is good for her and which one of the both of you is better for her.. I'd advise you to become a little bit more emotionally and mentally mature before getting into a relationship with someone.. From your few posts on the forum that I have read I seriously think you need to learn to respect others, specially girls.. If you don't it doesn't matter how nice/smart/good you think you may be, you will never end up in a good relationship.. Apart from this, as a few others have said, you need to move on.. You are young right now and there is more to life.. Studies, friends and developing yourself should be your focus.. This 100% But yeah, im in my second last year of school, and you have many distractions at the back end of schooling, ya know, games, sport, work, study, revision and parties. If you got a girlfriend, you will no doubt have to cull a large amount of things that you do... but i guess that a lot of school relationships aren't very "productive" if you get what i mean, so just, think what is right for you, and your studies, as they're hands down the most important thing in your life right now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kurotsune Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 Aaand here's the gif that best summarizes my whole opinion on this thread: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chase Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 I'm not a very big advocate of dating young, as my experience with it mirrors the stigma that younger people just don't know what they really want and often, it seems like a waste of time. That said, if you're really certain this "Jenny" is someone you want to pursue, you always have to respect the other persons wishes - and the best way to do that while not being putting yourself at risk of being "friend-zoned" would be to step back and make yourself sparse during the time she's with another person. I'm not going to say that swooping in after the other guy potentially drops the ball is the best following step either. The reasoning behind stepping back outside of respecting Jenny here is to grow up a little yourself. There are better things to focus on, and when you get a little older, women will notice that. Perhaps, this Jenny will be that woman. Who knows? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laggless01 Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 That said, if you're really certain this "Jenny" is someone you want to pursue, you always have to respect the other persons wishes - and the best way to do that while not being putting yourself at risk of being "friend-zoned" would be to step back and make yourself sparse during the time she's with another person. Like this? (Now, back to serious...) Well, there's not very much to add to what has been said already. I won't doubt you (atm) have strong feelings for her, but you should respect her choices if you care for her. Try doing other things, see other people. (Be more sparse, like Hilda said.) That way, you can have new experiences with other people, and develop yourself further. It's not easy initially (because infatuation is a strong emotion, and it can cause a lot of pain), but you'll be glad you did in the end. Also, to be perfectly honest, teen relations aren't perfect matches almost all of the time (break-up rate near 100%). Things will get better when you're more mature, and are surrounded by people with more common interests (like in college, for example. Still not 100% perfect, but definitely better than high school). Finally, if you think you're better than him, then BE better than him. Muscles aren't necessary for this...(being a gentleman adds, for example, just like respecting people). Just don't expect her to drop him because you're trying to outdo him (it's not going to happen, and it would testify a lack of respect for her (choice) and also it is very ungentleman-like) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madf0x Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 As someone whose had uhh more than a few relationships AND as someone who has experienced the 'friend zone' more than a few times AND busted out of the friendzone once or twice Id say you have two options. 1. Move on. Pretty much everyone in this thread has advocated that and tbh it really is your best scenario. It will save you time and energy and most importantly it will save you emotional headache. Its never easy at first but I would never have gotten together with my current girlfriend of four(or is it five?) years had I not decided to stop wasting my time on the previous girl I had a crush on. 2. Be ballsy as ****. This is the high risk high reward route. This won't be for the faint of heart and trust me your heart will be pounding like mad from nervousness. You may very well wreck your friendship with both individuals(entirely depends on their temperament and your approach/handling the aftermath). I don't really recommend this, but I believe in giving people the tools to shoot themselves in the foot if they so desire and it's the only way I've successfully gotten out of the friendzone. What I mean is you need to walk up to her and make it explicitly still clear you like her and want to go out, you tell her that she can either keep pinning for this other dude or take a shot with you and see if hey maybe things work out. Even if she says yes doesn't necessarily mean youre out of the hole yet but at least you have a shot now. If she hmms and haws then its up to you to take the drastic route and play douchebag mc matchmaker and go up to the dude yourself and see if hes interested in her and regardless of his answer you let her know the truth(this is where youre liable to strain your relationship). If she says no though you gotta respect her wishes and go for option number one. The real nice things about option number two is its great for learning how to take charge and be confident, and yes you can be confident even if you feel like a nervous wreck on the inside and yes even if you fail in your goal. Yes you may 'ruin everything' and feel like crap if things go sour but really friends come and go while youre young, youll be surprised who is and isn't your friend five years from now especially post high school. Losing friends may suck but learning when and how to cut ties with some people is a healthy lesson to learn despite what others may think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheIronButtcheek Posted March 17, 2015 Author Share Posted March 17, 2015 (edited) OK, I know that most of you think "Oh, he's a self-centered jerk that wants everything to himself". Truth is, I tried to get over it, 'k? I even tried getting INTO someone else. Didn't work. So I decided to just give it time, and I needed help. Anywho, no, they're not a couple. The way he talks about her when she comes up... let's just say, I wanna punch him in the face SO hard. If anyone treats girls like objects, it's him. She doesn't have many friends, and I'm one of them. I mean, I'm REALLY close friends with her. I just sorta grew to like her over time. No, this is one of the situations where "girl sees boy and drools over him because of looks". Trust me, I KNOW she doesn't like him for his personality, as he is, as said before, a total smart-ass. And about being myself, I AM being myself. Around everyone. That's why the majority of people think I'm weird, because I'm the clumsiest person alive. So, read this comment and THINK before posting again. And, I don't see why he treats her so badly, she's the most beautiful, kind, smart, and funny girl I've ever met. Edited March 17, 2015 by TheIronButtcheek Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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