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I think I need some space to scream.


Miss Kitty

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Okay. So. Everyone knows I'm moving in with Ame, right? Right. Well. I've been working my ass off, trying to just keep everything together so I can even get there.

So I'm really thankful for Saya and her parents who are traveling through and agreed to pick up my four small boxes that I'd wish to take. So thank you sooooooo very much for saving me potentially 100 bucks.

Speaking of $100; I have a friend who wants to give it to me as a goingaway/birthday/christmas gift. And as much as I appreciate it, and will eventually accept, I just don't feel right taking the money without working for it or paying it back... So that $100 is going to go to my bus ticket.

Thought I was flying? Yeah. Me too. But after talking to my mom, we decided and agreed that if I did like it out there, then she's going to send me Hiro, my cat, by plane. So if he's not going, why spend another hundred... So bus I go.

Speaking of my mom.... -sigh- She's what's making this even more difficult. I know she loves me, but what her and everyone else doesn't seem to understand in my small town of HATE... I just want the fuck out of here. Even if that means that I could fall into a pit of debt... I just... Want to feel better. I really do. Yet I have absolutely zero money right now, bills need to be paid... And I have to secure a job in Denver so I can pay Ame's mom rent to stay in the house... Everything is getting to the point where I just really want to take a step back and scream at everything, hit my head a few times, and then go on with my life.

I owe $400 to the hospital because of the tests they ran on me... (It may change.. Hope so...)
I need $100 for a bus...
I need $81 for my car insurance...
I also need some money for Hiro to get fixed... I'm hoping it'll be cheap...
Lastly... $90 for my phone....

ALSO.. Not to mention... I need money for his mom's rent... And for my phone when I even get there... Seems like a lot... Stressed to the bone... I just want to get out of here... And it just seems like everything is going to be pushed back. Like... I can almost guarantee that I won't be in Denver til about Christmas... And I don't want that. I want out of here sooner... I want to feel better. I just... Want somewhere where it doesn't hurt every goddamn day just waking up to a shit world (Which is Pataskala, where I live)

-cue screaming of screams that screamed into a scream-

So. Here I am. It's okay... Ame keeps telling me so.

Yet sometimes I really wonder. Things aren't roses and daisies like he thinks... -sigh- I guess for now, I just have to believe Ame...
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Update:
I actually managed to talk to a few people... Pulling some strings.

Me and Ame are going to split the bus ticket! Woo! So my new official leave date is October 17th!! Woooooo~

My friend gave me $100. He made me promise that it'd go to bills. So I am going to put it forth to my Car insurance and partially my phone, which I'll be paying off this week(hopefully, I need gas too...). That way I can focus on Hiro's vet and then I can get back on track with my money. I haven't gotten my new hospital bill, and I expect it in a few days. I really want to hope that most of it will be paid off... But I'm not keeping any bets... But hopefully I can start saving up so I won't be totally broke when I get to Denver.


Ame was right~ He never stops amazing me. .___.
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