Strife

[Reignited'Light]

So I've been noticing a lot of heated aggressiveness between my friends. People can't get along is one thing, but calling each other out, talking behind someone's back is totally different. I hate seeing two people/groups that I'm associated with, fight against each other because of something trivial. It's not just a thing that only I have a issue with. I went to main the other day, only for someone to rage at another user because of a opinion one had.

That's shit I do not like to see when I enter a server, especially Reborn.

Can we just throw away the hatred, and enjoy what most people on Reborn do, have fun talking about things we have in common? Of course, one doesn't need to be friends, nor enemies. Just something on my mind I wanted to speak about, that's all.

Feel free to discuss about this topic.

[laggless01]

Tip: join Cyrus.

[Shamitako]

MFW I thought this was the game and was confused at the necro and move to Trainer's Journal

I will be the first to admit that I sometimes talk badly about people to others in private (not so much gossip as mutual dislike of someone). And TBH, I'm probably not the most tasteful person. But I very much dislike how aggressive the arguments in main get turned into the flinging of insults. I actually enjoy said arguments before they collapse into meaninglessness. I also try to keep a moderate stance and hold my mind open, though I am not entirely above insult myself, sadly

TL;DR Sane aguments (I know, that's practically an oxymoron) are fine, tasteless insult-flinging is most certainly not

EDIT@TPAM:

Excuse me? No. If that's intended to be a joke, it's nowhere near funny. And if it's serious it's even worse

[laggless01]

EDIT@TPAM:

Excuse me? No. If that's intended to be a joke, it's nowhere near funny. And if it's serious it's even worse

It was a reference...if you played that game, you also know how he ended up due to the path he took to eliminate strife.

Yes, tolerance would be greatly appreciated, but it's not (always) a very easy thing to maintain. You kinda asked for the social equivalent of "world peace": in theory it sounds beautiful, but in practice it's kind of impossible to do.

Tolerance takes effort, and with personal insecurities, stress and all kinds of stuff wearing someone down, one might be less motivated to be tolerant, or even more incentivised to polarize themselves towards the other (see twitter for shining examples), especially if the latter comes combined with (mainly social) benefits.

For example: take the quote above. I didn't have the implication to insult people, but simply to make a relevant reference (however stupidly placed) . I apologize if things came over like that, my sense of humor is something I personally make fun of (in which I also fail for the most time). But the reaction wasn't entirely tolerant, either. There was a slight sense of volatility in the formulation (or at least it came off to me like that).

This is in no way a justification to be intolerant (or intolerable). It's that you can't just ask people to change, people need to want to change in order for it to happen, and people can be/are stubborn.

[Shamitako]

I have played the game (well, through to Aya at least), which is why I find that to be a very tasteless joke >_>

Outside that, I can agree that having there be no hatred between Rebornians is essentially unachievable, that doesn't prevent it from being a worthwhile goal tho

[Jelly]

i live off of bm and anger

[Shamitako]

*Facepalms* So it just got pointed out to me that I misread your post. For some reason I thought you said Corey, and I'm sure you can see why that would be less than amusing. So like, my apologies, I will go bang my head on the wall now

[laggless01]

*Facepalms* So it just got pointed out to me that I misread your post. For some reason I thought you said Corey, and I'm sure you can see why that would be less than amusing. So like, my apologies, I will go bang my head on the wall now

Apologies accepted. Would be quite bad if I meant Corey (it would be irrelevant, too)...although if you like being with Shade all the time...(this is going the wrong way)

[Shamitako]

Well, Corey's death was related to his attempts to erase strife as well, so it would still fit somewhat... (You're right, this is going the wrong way, lol, Ima just let this topic go back to being on topic...)

[Amethyst]

It's impossible to eliminate hatred and negativity. But it -is- possible to foster an environment where those feelings aren't irresponsibly acted on. And that's our goal here.

And when I say "our goal," I don't mean as a site, but as each individual on this site. While I was the one who chose this objective for the community, every single person on here plays a part in it and we will obviously need everyone's cooperation in order to meet it.

I'm pretty limited on what I can do, which is why I have an amazing staff team to help me out with moderation. But our sphere of influence only goes so far, being limited to just our site and servers. Ideally, our moderators also help people resolve conflict maturely even outside of the site, be that in skype groups, league issues, etc. But, unlike handling on-site violations, they aren't the only ones who can do that.

Anyone can make a difference by encouraging and helping people handle things better. One problem, especially among the age group of people that will be in a place like this, is that we don't have the skills to know how to handle things like that well. When I say 'skill', I mean things like, impulse control, anger management, effective communication... stuff like that (not quite as fun as game-skills, though that could be an interesting concept design...). And why would we have those things? We aren't born with them. They're taught much less often than they need to be. And the lack thereof results in, as we see, strife.

If you aren't interested in dealing with others, that's okay. I don't expect everyone to, and it's important enough that as an individual you just focus on helping yourself handle difficulties better. I ask this of everyone, myself included: we all have improvements we can make, so long as we can stay open to making them. Think about what you can do to make a positive change.

[NickCrash]

If I may, I'd like to add that sometimes people do not mean to insult others. As written speach does not convey the emotions the oral counterpart does, it is natural things like irony or humour be misinterpreted as personal offense. I am well aware this thread originally did not target this type of problems, rather the open insults, aka flame war, however I believe this is a perfect opportunity to address this issue as well. Some project their arguments in a more... fervent manner, while others tend to be more careful with their phrazing. Most disputes stem from misinterpreting the commenters' intentions, the discussion gets heated and then proceeds to turn into an exchange of oral poison. Even if things end up as such, please control your anger and impulses of responding likewise or in a more offensive manner, because as soon as the flame war goes on, few things stop it, and they are not beneficial for anyone involved.