[WP/Plan] Lark's Song

[AlexanderGraves]

Okay, much rather than type out/paste my entire novel here, I just wanted to see what a more generalized opinion would be on my book.

My book is about an inn keeper's ward and a Mage who investigate seemingly random murders.

That is the 15-second selling pitch I plan to use, at least. It used to be more detailed, but I realized that part of it gave away the plot too quickly.

Setting: The setting is in the Kingdom of Gor'Athis, 500 years after humans launched a genocidal war against their elven neighbors that left the elves broken and on the brink of extinction. Humans born from unions between the two races were sometimes gifted with the ability to wield magic. The king of that time, fearing an uprising from the Mages, forced them into servitude where they were broken in spirit and unwilling to disobey. In present day, things have improved greatly towards Mages, and there is even a softening to the edge against Elves, although tensions still remain high as many humans don't want to give up the old ways. Seven years after a neighboring country invaded the Kingdom, distrust towards outsiders looms again, making diplomatic relations tenuous at best. To help alleviate the fears of being unprotected, high ranking Mages called Master Mages choose different cities in the Kingdom to protect.

A ward who lost his mother at birth and his father in the war is accused of murdering a high priest he was seen arguing with earlier one day. The King sends a newly appointed Master Mage to investigate the murder. As the Mage investigates, he decides that the ward is not guilty, but takes him back to the capital so that other Master Mages can confirm his suspicions. While they are there, the King receives word of random murders throughout the Kingdom, and asks the Mage to investigate, abdicating his town. The ward is sent with him as a test to clear his name and to help the Mage.

That is all I can tell you all for now, aside from the fact that the book is going to be part of a series, and the second book is more about the war than the present situations.

If anyone has read any of Lynn Flewelling's Nightrunner Series, or Mercedes Lackey's Last Herald-Mage series, then quite a few things will be noticeable, because those two inspired me to write my novel. Some other themes arise, and I will also acknowledge Gin Hale's Lord of the White Hell for providing a base for some of the more...intimate scenes as far as how to write them.

My book is an LGBTQ book, but I do not plan on losing all sense of plot to focus on the budding relationships in the story line. Those are more plot devices that might get their own tales later on.

So, any comments at this time? I already have 115 pages typed and revised, but I am not going to release my work until I am done. This is simply to protect my copyrights on my book, as well as having the freedom to go back and revise anything needed later on.

[AlexanderGraves]

Sorry if I am not allow to double post here, but no one has replied, so I just wanted to add a section for my updates.

So far I have 170 pages down, and I have been working for about 48 hours total. I've stopped writing daily for my sanity, but I will probably get back to that routine next week.

I really would like some feedback on some parts of my book, so if anyone is interested, please PM me. I don't want to publish what I have here, simply because a lot of editors and publishers frown on that kind of thing.

There is one part that has been giving me some trouble lately. I am at the point in the story where the two main characters are traveling to the capital city, and it is supposed to take about two weeks. However, I don't like the idea of just skipping ahead shortly after something major happens, so I have added an event in a forest that the road cuts through. I am unsure on how to proceed, however, because the forest is haunted and there are elves that live in it. I know I want the Mage to tell ghost stories about the forest and why it's haunted, but I also want to try to introduce the elves as a way of explaining the ward's ability to call animals to him.

The problem is that if I just have the Mage casually explain about how elves survived the genocidal war, and then they run into a tribe of them, it kinda seems forced, compared to the main characters are fighting off spirits and are rescued by the elves. But even that scenario sounds a bit off.

I'm not hurting for any kind of word count or content, I just wanted to add some of the Elven Lore into the story, but now I am unsure if I should put it in this book, or book two instead. Any suggestions?