[CW OneShot/Feedback] In a Sea of People...

[Rosesong]

As with the previous CW work I presented, The "Perks" of Being a Wallflower, this is a reflection of something that I tend to feel sometimes. It's a way for me to understand the feeling and help pinpoint the reasons that this feeling can be prevalent in me at times. In no way should it be a cause for concern nor should people approach me over this, though feel free to leave feedback.

Loneliness. That's all I feel, yet the crazy part is that I'm not alone-- not physically, at least. In reality, I'm surrounded by people, both online and in real life. It doesn't actually matter though; loneliness manifests regardless of how many people I have around me.

I know why it happens, what causes the pangs of solitude to resonate throughout my entire being. Not being listened to is a principle factor of it, and one I can always see. Sure, people don't intentionally ignore you; I think this is something that we all can acknowledge and agree with. Regardless of intent though, it happens, be it not being acknowledged for giving simple information repeatedly when asked, yet acknowledging another for giving the same info, or forcing you to get angry in order for your voice to be heard. Despite knowing that it's unintentional, it hurts; balls of distress and agitation burrow deep within my stomach.

Another present reason is feeling like you can't talk to anyone. Of course, that's almost always poppycock-- talking to people should be as easy as breathing. However, what happens when you begin to feel like an annoyance? What happens when you start to feel as though by opening conversation with someone, you're annoying that person to the bone, but they're too kind to say anything? Talking to someone and feeling that ball of worry that you're somehow making their day worse when just not talking to them wouldn't affect them... It creates a sense of isolation unlike any other. The only thing worse is when people talk to you because they need you, and then going back to ignore you. It can make one feel completely worthless at the core, unwanted and unneeded.

I'm surrounded by a sea of people; people that mean well and people that I love and cherish. However, when the loneliness sets in-- the knots residing in my stomach, unnecessary worry, feeling as though walking on eggshells is a must, the uncertainty... It doesn't matter how many people there are surrounding you. In the end, it's just you, alone, fighting against your demons in vain.