[Feedback/Discussion] A Taste of Despair

[The Fangame Connoisseur]

Hi everyone, I have a draft for the first chapter of my fan-fiction. It isn't finished yet, so I would like to know any way I could improve it. thank you for taking the time to read this.

Title: A Taste of Despair

Pairing: (OC x Ryoko Otonashi)

Disclaimer: I do not own DanganRonpa/Zero, it is the property of its creator.

Hope’s Peak Private Academy. An exclusive, government-sanctioned school accepting only students with exceptional abilities. Its stated goal is to raise the future “hope” of the nation, and for that reason, it became known as “The Academy of Hope”. It’s a source of envy, as its common knowledge that one can gain great success in life just by being a Hope’s Peak graduate. Certainly, many Hope’s Peak graduates are now employed in high positions in every field of the professional world, so that statement is not an exaggeration.

Steven had heard of the academy and studied hard in order to get an application to the prestigious academy. He had short black hair, has brown eyes, is fair skinned and was dressed up in the academy’s male uniform which consisted of a dark green jacket which had the schools emblem emblazoned on it, a white, long-sleeve shirt and dark green pants. Steven was nervous as this was his first day. He entered the main building and began searching for the Headmasters office. Once he got there, he knocked on the door and waited until the door opened, indicating that he was allowed in. Steven then sat down and looked into the eyes of the academy’s Headmaster, Jin Kirigiri.

“Welcome Steven, is there anything you need?” he asked the young man.

“Sir, this is my first day here; I already know my timetable, but can I have a map please?” Steven asked politely. Jin Kirigiri rummaged his desk for a map that Steven can have. Eventually, he found a map that would fit nicely in Steven’s jacket pocket.

“Here you go.” Headmaster Kirigiri beamed at Steven, as he handed the map to the young man.

“Thank you sir.” Steven said as he bowed in respect before exiting the office. He then headed down the hallway to find where his classroom was. He was too busy reading the map to look out for other students; it was inevitable that he accidently bumped into someone, whom yelped as they fell to the ground. Steven put the map back in his pocket and went over to help the student, only to gasp at what he saw.

On the ground was a beautiful young lady with long, dishevelled dark red hair and red eyes. She was slim and appeared to be around 169cm tall. She wore the girls uniform which consisted of a dark green cardigan with the school emblem emblazoned on it, a white blouse with a red ribbon on the collar and a short, dark green skirt. There was also a small book on the ground near her left hand.

“I’m so sorry! I wasn’t looking where I was going.” Steven profusely apologized while blushing like crazy. He had expected her to be annoyed at him for not paying attention, so it came as a surprise to him when she simply got up and smiled at him as she dusted her uniform and picked up her book.

“It’s alright, just be more careful next time.” She replied as she skimmed through her book to see if everything was on order. “So what’s your name?” she asked him.

“Ste-Ste-Steven, its Steven.” He stammered, still embarrassed over what had happened. The girl then flipped to a page near the front of the book and scribbled down Steven’s name.

“My name’s Ryoko Otonashi. Pleased to meet you.” She greeted him as she put her book under her arm.

“So where are you going?” he asked her, hoping that they had at least one class together. He noticed her whip out her book and flip through the pages until she found the one she was looking for and slid her finger down the page to find where she was meant to be going.

“I’m going to the Neurology lab on the third floor of the Biology building in Hope’s Peak Academy’s eastern quarter; it’s where I’m meeting the boy I like best in the world.” Ryoko said, smiling at the thought of seeing the guy that she loved. “Would you like to come with me to meet him?” she offered. Steven was taken aback and started to blush but nodded and walked with her as she merrily skipped to her destination.

Edited July 29, 2015 by GamingGorilla