Twenty Three

[Amethyst]

So, today is my 23rd birthday.

Now, hold the "Happy Birthday"s, because that isn't what this thread is for.

When I was younger, I never used to like celebrating my birthday.

Nobody came to my parties anyway (because I didn't invite them, go figure) so why bother?

By middle school I was done with parties.

By high school I wouldn't even let my family do anything for me.

All of the arbitrary wishes of the day were just needles in my side.

Stop wasting time on a pointless formality. There's seven billion goddamn birthdays around the world every single year. Why should mine warrant your attention?

I thought, it's just another year. It just means I'm getting older, and closer to either death or incompetence.

I decided, I didn't want to get old,

So I should kill myself on my thirtieth birthday.

But my mother would hassle me to do something, anything for the day. I took to leaving the house on that day just for the sake of avoiding her. Sometimes I would meet with a friend, sometimes I wouldn't. If I did, I made sure it was someone who didn't know the occasion.

Eventually I started hiding the date.

I would change it to the wrong day on any profile, and then change it two weeks earlier one week before that date ever came.

Anytime someone asked me, I made up a day. Sometimes plainly false, sometimes not.

In retrospect, I was probably just trying to forget myself.

I am pretty good at forgetting, but not the things I'd like to.

More recently, I heard something that changed my entire perspective on the matter.

It was a statistic.

The average life expectancy of a trans-girl is only 23 years.

Now, I don't know if that's true or not. My meager efforts to find source, validation, or refutation, have produced nothing to speak of (probably because whatever statistical community is responsible for that still doesn't give a shit about trans people).

But nonetheless this stuck with me, a trans-girl in her early twenties.

Now, this should not be taken as a coming-out post, because it's not been a secret around here that I'm transgender. I'm sure newer members might not have known, and even some of the people closest to me say they forget. Believe me, I know all about forgetting.

But not this.

This was something that for the past year or two or since whenever I heard it, I've thought about every single day.

In a year, in a month, next week... As of today, I'm more likely to be dead than alive.

The curious among you might be asking why? Why would any group's average lifespan be nearly fifty years lower than the general population's?

Fortunately, I can tell you that much with certainty. I know all too well, why.

• Because we are hunted. Most people consider themselves above killing another human, but some people consider us less than human.
  If a girl doesn't pass, she can be targeted.
  And even if she does pass, she's not safe. 1 out of every 6 women in the US has been raped. Looking at college-aged girls, that number increases to 1 out of 4. Of course if a pretty pre-op trans-girl gets taken somewhere and her offender inevitably finds out that she's trans, then she'll just be killed instead. Whether cis or trans girls have the better end in that scenario, is still undetermined.
  But I've attended the Day of Rememberance, and I've watched the multiple-hour presentation listing the names of all of the trans murder victims in just the past few years-- the vast majority of whom go entirely unremembered despite the efforts of the event.
• Because the police are not on our side. Some officers are good people. Enough are not, that we already have a public outcry against the unpunished slaughter of black people around the country.
  Most people at least have the decency to pretend like they don't hate other races, even if their effort only goes so far as to take the form of an "I'm not racist but..." comment. That's more than I can say for their regard of trans people. So if they're already willing to shoot to kill one population, what's another one even further underfoot?
  And if you're a trans PoC... God help you.
• Because the doctors are not on our side. Conversion therapy is still widely used, which will contribute to the final point. And there are multiple stories of transwomen who've been in accidents, or suffered attacks, who needed emergency treatment, only be laughed at by the operating crew when it was discovered they were trans, and eventually let to die.
• And even if they are on our side, because the best medicine we can possibly be prescribed for transitioning is not even actually for transitioning. Our medicine is 'off-label' meaning it's originally intended for other uses, and just happens to work and be used for us. That, of course, doesn't come without side effects. I may never have had a drink in my life, but my liver sure doesn't know it.
• Because the employers are not on our side. Many transgender people are laid off for coming out in the course of an existing employment. Many states do not have laws protecting individuals from firing based on gender identity. Many trans people are unable to find employment, especially if they haven't ducked through the legal hoops involved with their identity yet. And so that leads to,
  Homelessness, one of the largest problems among LGBT youth as a whole. Even many homosexual individuals struggle and sometimes die as a result of homelessness/unemployment. That statistic only compunds with transgender people.
• And finally, because WE are often not on our side. Suicide is the number one killer for many transgender people, especially before they are able to fully transition.

Though many of you didn't know her, we've already had one trans-girl from this very community take her own life. It was a person I looked up to, who helped me get started when I needed to make a change, and who I regret I was not able to help enough in return.
You can even find her-- or at least, the character she submitted a long time ago-- in Pokemon Reborn.

"Tehehehe, do you think you're ready to best us?"

I, too, am no stranger to suicide.

It only took me eight years of this life to figure out that I didn't want to be here.

I'm lucky that third-grade me didn't figure out certain other things, like the fact that no matter how hard you try, it's impossible to die by strangling yourself.

And I'm lucky that by the time I realized that a run-of-the-mill kitchen knife was a better way to go about it, I had my best friend around me to pull the knife away and bawl himself into some snotty mess that made me realize that not everyone wanted me to die quite as much as I did.

And so I didn't die.

But for a long time, I didn't live either.

I finally began to live some time after I came out. But more importantly, it was after I heard that statistic, that I really began to live with purpose.

I am lucky that I have something I can wake up to, and remember, this is what I need to do.

I have to break that statistic.

Not just for myself. For all of my sisters, too. For all of the girls who feel like they shouldn't be themselves. And boys, or anyone else the same. Cis, trans, something else entirely-- Nobody should ever have to be scared of who they are.

That's a large part of why I work so hard on my games. Video games may be just that, but they're also huge parts of our lives-- the fact that any of us are in a place like this proves it. And how many of us grew up with games like Pokemon that ended up not just influencing but sometimes outright defining our values?

Art reflects life reflects art.

One can be changed by influencing the other. It may just be a small piece in a much larger and gradual movement, but it's something that I have to do.

And I've made it this far, which is more than many others can say. I don't know how long I have before my Star does go out. So I'll work as hard as I can until then in hopes that it makes a difference.

But it doesn't happen alone. That's why I wanted to make this topic.

I've been so lucky, for so many reasons, but most of all to have been able to meet and be supported so many wonderful people like all of you.

So, this is for you.

Thank you, truly, and so much, for standing with me.

I hope that you'll continue to stay with me for a long time, because all of this, is not even the beginning yet.

~ Ame

[Peepeepoopoo]

Story of my life up until the trans part. Good read.

[Pata733]

Wow just wow

[Hexagoen]

I- I don't know what to say... Am I glad that you aren't dead? Am I sad that people have taken their lives over how other people judge them?

Well, if you need anything, just don't hesitate to talk to us~ we, the community shall be here for you!

[foovy10]

I- I don't know what to say... Am I glad that you aren't dead? Am I sad that people have taken their lives over how other people judge them?

Well, if you need anything, just don't hesitate to talk to us~ we, the community shall be here for you!

^^ What the kappa said

[Darvan Korematsu]

Hey even if people stop caring for you in your life, don't forget you have a damn-near cult of personality on here that loves you as the creator of our game. Perhaps we shouldn't mindlessly shunt you aside and actually stop to thank you for a gift you've given us. Both a game and a respectable community of young men and women and non-binaries of all different backgrounds. Don't think of suicide, think of the people who appreciate you. If your family and the world doesn't, remember there's at least 15000 of us on this forum who have.

Edit: As much as I hate to add on, birthdays aren't by any means terrible. Seven billion of the things? Heh, nobody really cares enough to monitor every last one of them. Birthdays are a herald first of your survival, then a coming of age, and eventually a mark of your wisdom and experience until you eventually die.

Edited July 31, 2015 by Darvan Korematsu

[cmdemension]

people shoud not be allowed to judge people for their looks if its a different color or gender or if their less good looking its the personality that counts if you find something you like then you do it and others shoud respect that decision and just move on like a normal day

(wonder if i said it correctly considering my english is bad)

[DashingStorm]

I only have a few things I want to share regarding your touching story, Ame;

- Look at what you've built within these past years. A community this vast, with an enormous variety of people of all ages, genders (and non-genders), who have supported your creation since the beginning and will most definitely stick around until the very end. And by the very end, I don't just mean the day Reborn gets finished, but for me personally, I'll be that one-pony/brony you can always rely on to be there if things get rough. Friendship is magic, don't you agree?

- As rough as life can be, which I've experienced first-hand with my own life, falling and getting up seems to be a huge part of it. Which I've kept doing for the past 15 years or so, gradually only getting worse as life progresses. But that's for myself to deal with and people close to me to either notice or not notice. :]

I'd say happy birthday, but I think I'll just offer you a coupon for a hug instead. ^^

_____________________________________________

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| Coupon valid for |
| One Hug |
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[star-kin]

so deep i cant see Adele rolling down there

keep on truckin' Ame. we're here by your side, always.

[Guest]

This post has got to be one of the most breathtaking and touching things i've seen in my life.

Old me sadly used to think death was a beautiful thing and some sort of mercy towards some people, but then i realized how fucked up this mindset was and i realized what really is beautiful: The will to truly live.

"I want a life worth living for." I said to my brother once when i came out to him as being gay.

The very fact that there are so many people out there suffering for whatever reason to the point of literally wanting to end themselves says alot about how wrong some things are, and people go with the flow forgetting about it. I guess it can be attributed to that mentality of "i don't care about what doesn't affect me", but by turning a blind eye to these problems you're casting out the pleas of people into an invisible spectrum, to the point where they themselves consider they're "malfunctons" or "warped".

Just because the world is wrong it doesn't mean we also have to be.

My cheers to you, Amethyst. May you continue to be strong. May you continue to live.

For happiness. For all.

[Nova]

It takes a lot to make a game. But it takes even more to be an wonderful leader of a large community, and it is amazing to see how far you've come despite your difficulties.

And even though "happy birthday" may not mean much to you, there is an entire community here that cares about you. And you don't need a special day for people to show their appreciation towards you, for we will do it all year, all of our lives perhaps, since being part of a community like this changes a lot of people's lives; it certainly has for mine.

Cheers, Ame.

[Noir]

Well, this is certainly deep.

Everyone's special in their own way. You've done things most of us here haven't, and there are things you should be proud of. I can relate to how thoughts like that happen; it's only when we get over them do we find actually the true meaning and purpose behind our lives, and I'm sure most would agree that you've done amazing things throughout the years of cultivating the Reborn community. Mewtwo did say that it is what you do with the gift (or whatever you'd see it now) of life that determines who you are. You've flourished it to become, well, pretty much being a person that brought so many people together and bringing joy and entertainment to people who play the game. You've even inspired people to gave their own games akin to yours.

Happy birthday, and a wish of joy and happiness I convey to you for the days to come.

[ZEL]

I don't believe we've ever talked personally, and I haven't been here for long enough to say that I havecome to know you well as a person.
But still, I can say right away that I'm glad that you're still with us to this day.

In the short time I've been here I already owe a lot of things to Reborn, and none of this would have been possible without you.

But how it affects me is rather besides the point.
You might not have intended this to be a "Happy Birthday" thread, but still - Happy Birthday, Ame.

It is incredibly touching to read what you've said, and I admire you for having made it as far as you did. You can be proud of yourself for so many reasons, and I hope you are and will be.

I remember you posting on the dream job thread, too, that you wish to do something related to game design, and well... just take a look at what you already have created. There's more to come for sure.

You already did make a difference, that much is certain. And there'll be more where that came from.

I wish you the best of luck on the rest of your way, and I genuinely believe you do have the power to achieve more.

And if you doubt that, once again, look at what you've already built.

It always strikes me as morbid how knowing what it is like to want to die ultimately ended up making me personally cherish life so much more.
But at the end of the day... you're still here, I'm still here, a lot of us almost faded away, but we're still here.
We're the ones who made it, some by luck and some by strength. And that in itself is a good reason to keep fighting. Especially on behalf of those who didn't make it.

To all your future birthdays!

[Felicity]

Like a lot of people I can't readily put into words what I want or really know what I want to say. I'm not too close to you so I can't promise eternal support without it sounding somewhat hollow, I can't truly empathise because you have more and different experiences to me. As often as I read topics like this I doubt I'll ever truly understand, everything I learned forgotten within a week or so.

That doesn't mean I won't try to do every one of those things. I can't remember where I heard this but "The statistic doesn't matter to the individual" is a quote I liked despite never really understanding it. Now I think I do understand it at least a little bit more. For that alone Ame and all the people trying to break the horrible statistics in the world are an inspiration.

EDIT: And don't really mind if you see nothing in this but it still has to be said

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

[Masquerain]

Society has been progressively digressing and as such, I won't doubt that life is harsh, especially when you're "different". I've had my fair share of being unfairly treated for being different, but wellp, one thing I'll say is that I never have, still don't, and never will agree or find sense in any person who wishes to take their own life, especially because of something like society.

When one chooses to take such a path, then they choose it knowing all the consequences as well. I believe one should be prepared for what's ahead if they plan on transitioning or something alike, and if they can't handle it when the deed is done, well, it's only natural they'll have suicidal thoughts. And yet, why should you resort that far? What is even society? Do you believe society to be something above yourself? Do you believe society has any authority or a right to define you? If you do, you really need to rethink that.

Always know that humanity will never achieve equality, but despite that, there is no human being worth less than another. Value will never be found equally in everyone's eyes, but that's the thing. You should find no value in someone who can't see your own. It's good that you have found the ones who can value you as you are, it's also good that you valued them enough to not take your own life. I hope you keep on standing for what you are and never again digress to thoughts of suicide. You're not alone, virtually or not, there's always someone out there who can see your value. Never ever let others decide your worth. Know your own worth, and if you're unable to find it, keep on searching. It can never come from anyone else but yourself.

That said, have a truly happy birthday. I'm sure it will be one of many others to go.

[Sheep]

Thank you, truly, and so much, for standing with me.

I hope that you'll continue to stay with me for a long time, because all of this, is not even the beginning yet.

Here's to that. For so long as you'll have me, I'll help with what I'm able.

Don't have much to say, it's late and I'm tired, but this place has changed me. I'll never be the same as if I decided to not bother dropping by.

So in return thank you.

[Jan]

So, this is for you.

Thank you, truly, and so much, for standing with me.

I hope that you'll continue to stay with me for a long time, because all of this, is not even the beginning yet.

~ Ame

:'). I'll be here to the end.

As many people have noticed, this place has changed my life. So thank you. Not sure what I'd be doing if I never decided to click the sign up button.

[Shing]

That's really deep. The difficulty you have, and where you live.

I may not be here forever, but i'll be here as long i can.

You have changed a part of my life really, even if just 6 months i feel being a part of this community.

I have to thank you a lot for that. Thanks for making this post, it was deep to read, but a good one too.

For knowing you more. Have a good day Amethyst.

[Tomas Elliot]

Wow you are actually 18 months younger than me. Now that's a surprise.

You know, I actually disagree. I read you talk about the times when you wanted to end your life, and I read comment by people who discuss what makes a life "worth living", and I disagree. Because you see, the fact is that we humans are a disgraced race: we have dreams, emotions, expectations, desires, we don't just live, we feel that we are alive and we understand that we are alive. And that is our main problem.

Every morning a lion and a gazelle wake up, and the gazelle knows it has to outrun the lion to stay alive, and the lion knows it has to outrun the gazelle to eat. But neither of them questions whether or not this is fair. Neither of them wastes time wondering about the average life expectation of their respective species. And the other gazelles won't blame the lion for slaughtering their companion, and the lion's cubs won't blame the gazelle for outrunning their parent thus condemning them all to starvation. They don't think about life. A great poet of my country, Giacomo Leopardi, states that because of this animals are substantially happier than humans.

But I diagree with that too. I mean, we are here talking about life: you have suffered, you have looked for a purpose, you have struggled to find a reason, you have nearly lost yourself and ended your life, and now you are here. You, who carry this burden of sufferings, doubts, depression, and self-destructing thoughts, are here. And I, a guy haunted painful memories of 18 years of bullying, a guy who just cannot have a healthy relationship with his parents, a guy with a heart condition and without the ability of letting go of a "love story" that ended over a year ago, I am also here. And Hukuna who hates to be touched, he is also here, And star-kin who is cute but emotionless is also here. And Nan who wants to leave her country. And Nova whose ideas are too big and too complex for his own good. And Alexus who picked her own name. And Dobby who was friendzoned, and Chimchain who has issues with his dad, and Zim who is too lazy to turn his immense talent into something productive, and Zumi who has a messed up sleep schedule, we are all here, we all carry our crosses, big or small, serious or silly, and we struggle and we press on and we cry and we laugh and we carry our burden from the cradle to the grave, as the aforementioned poet would say. But along the way, we just happened to share a part of the path. And as a result, we are here.

But has any of you tried to enjoy the view? I mean sure, we carry our burden from the cradle to the grave, but the road in between is not in a barren land. Have you tried to look around, take a photo in front of the sunset, breathe in the twilight air, and just enjoy the moment, instead of, you know, focusing only on the fact that this path inevitably leads to the grave and we are dommed to walk it? We talk about looking for a purpose in life, we talk about giving it a sense, but isn't the mere fact that we are trying, isn't the search itself something worth living for? As you keep on searching, you meet people. Good people. Bad people. People who love you, people who hate you, people who want to rape and kill you, people who want to support you, people who just don't give a damn. Isn't the mere act of discerning the various kinds a big enough thrill? A deep enough experience?

You might never find your purpose, you might realize what the sense of your life was only as you close your eyes for the last time, but for the love of God (who I still think gave us this life, and the intelligence to talk about it this way, for a damn good reason) keep on looking for it. Because in my opinion, looking for a purpose is itself a purpose, wanting it to be worth living MAKES it worth living and no matter what your troubles are and who you are running from (be them rapists or bullies), there is always that one place where you can stop, relax, and enjoy the view. And the people who happen to be there, they also were lead there by their respective paths, by their respective experiences, positive or negative: the mere fact that this project happened and we got to meet one another is all the thrill, all the mystery, all the intrigue I need to give flavor to my life. The mere fact that we are here, that we bumped into this hotel along our respective ways, and as we decided to stay for a while we got to meet each other, that is a small, simple, but oh so fascinating, oh so touching, oh so beautiful mystery.

And you, you are not jut another guest of this hotel. You fucking built the house for crying out loud, you made it possible. There are tons of fangames released in topics of pokemoncommunity, those are nothing but games. But Reborn is not a game, heck I don't even play it, and I am willing to bet I am not the only one. What kept me here is something else, something deeper, something more important, something that YOU made possible.

So guess what? That makes you a rolemodel. You are a depressed trans who is supposed to be dead by now, and you are a fucking rolemodel. There are LEGIONS of people out there who wouldn't even sit close to you in the train in real life, there are people who would be punished by their parents for hanging around with you, and there are people like me, who would be bullied fiercely by their peers for befriending you (remember when I mentioned having a gay friend? Well, that was the tombstone on my relationship with the townspeople of my hometown... But this is a story for another day). And you know what? In a twist that only exemplifies the magic of life I was talking about earlier, they are all peons at the court of Queen Ame. You inspire all of them. You lead them by example. And I think I speak for everyone here when I say that my leader, my inspiration, my rolemodel, my fucking QUEEN is a goddamn depressed trans, and I am fucking proud of it. I am fucking proud of calling myself an Amethyst guy, and I wouldn't want anybody else as the person I look up to.

Happy birthday Ame. You should learn to be as proud of yourelf as I am proud of you.

[Pocky]

I remember when I first joined Reborn it was weird because this is actually the first forum i've ever actually joined. But it's probably the only forum i've stayed on for so long, mainly because of the people here. I wouldn't have met people if it wasn't for you, Ame, for making such a great community to be in, so props to you! This post only made me admire you even more. You wanting to break that statistic, and your commitment to want to do that is really great.
And if you're ever feel down, we're always here so talk to us. So here's to you for making a great community and a great game, have a great birthday Amethyst.

[deukhoofd]

We all love your game Ame, and I'd like to thank you for making it, and all contributions you made to the fangame community.

Besides that, even though it might not mean much to you, I wish you a happy birthday, and a happy upcoming year.

[Nanami's-Egg]

Thank you, Amethyst, for being who you are.

Thank you for this post, Reborn, and the community here.

Have a great (birth)day!

[SnowGlaceon]

Alright then, I guess it's my turn.

So I'm one of the younger members of the Reborn community, probably one of the youngest, but I understand how you feel. I've gone through some crap in my life, and while not quite to the extent that you have, I can get a good grasp of where you're at. I'll keep my life story short here.

First of all, I'm black. "What's the big deal with that?" you ask? Well a few things. I'm black and I'm smart, and I'm black but I don't act ghetto. I'm 14 and I've experienced some pretty bad racism. The first point needs clarification. Contrary to popular belief, black people are intelligent. We have the same brains as every other race. While the people here are excepting of everyone, the people in the real world are not, and they will do everything they can to bring us down.

So I went/am going to a private school full of smart rich kids. I myself come from a middle class working family and am going there purely because I got good grades and because financial aid exists. But that's not where it ends. The amount of racial stereotyping out there is insane. It's like we have to be all in a certain area and all have certain traits and talk a certain way or we aren't black/white/asian/etc. Well, I didn't fit into their idea of what I should be, and that made them upset. I wasn't considered black because I was smart and didn't act ghetto, I wasn't considered white because I had dark skin, and I wasn't considered Asian simply because they didn't like me being intelligent. All of my friends left and abandoned me. I was shunned, betrayed, you name it. Even a few teachers didn't like me. My music teacher gave me hell for a few years. I was in a place full of elitists for 9 years of my life. That was my childhood. A child shouldn't have to go through that, they don't know how to deal with that. So I had two options, end it all or grow up faster.

To make matters worse, I have something called Sickle cell disease. It's a genetic blood disorder that would take forever to explain. While I have the milder version (type SC as opposed to SS) it still has an effect on my physical capabilities. Due to my blood not being able to carry as much oxygen, I am unable to be active for as long as other people. Simply put, my stamina sucks. If I over exert myself, I get some pretty terrible pain in my body that can leave me bedridden, and even hospitalized, for days. So I'm a tall smart black kid with a genetic illness who sucks at sports and is more intelligent than those who are sterotyped to be the best. People hate me for something I can't control. Suicide is no stranger to me either. Had it not been for my sister and a few of my friends at church I would not be here right now.

Mind you this was Mainly at school, with people I know. Outside school? I've been accused of robbery twice. I was accused of robbery when I was 11. What did I steal? Nothing. What did they think I stole? A water bottle. A $2 water bottle. Funny thing, I got it from a vending machine. The store I was in didn't sell that kind of water. This traumatized me for weeks. One Halloween I was beat up. Never went trick or treating again. All because of what I am.

TLDR:

So long story short, my life kinda sucked. But the one thing I did was break expectations. I didn't conform to what people said I should be, I made my own path. People judged me for what I am, not who I am. So I'm telling you now to break expectations. Carve your own path. Be who you are, not what you are. Don't ever give up, don't ever give in. Keep fighting and everything will turn out okay. You're and inspiration to us all Ame. If you ever need to talk or get something off your chest, we're here, and we aren't going anywhere.

I won't tell you to have a Happy Birthday, because that's only one day a year. So have a happy life instead.

P.S.Thats about all I can really say, this is long enough as it is. Idk if I was really able to capture the gravity of the situation, but I tried. Thanks to all those who actually read it.

[Tacos]

Here's to 23, and 24, and 25... to refusing to be another statistic that incites fear or outrage among those who read it. To being stronger than those who beat us down, to be more humane than those who desecrate us and call us "less-than human" for being something they consider different. To the courage it takes to live life regardless of how much of a bitch it can be. To Reborn, a sanctuary for those who don't fit in, for those who do, and everyone in between. You, Ame, are an inspiration.

"Oh look, another post about how Reborn has changed someone's life blah blah blah." As many others have stated, Reborn has changed my life for the better. Only a few people here know of what happened to me before I stumbled onto Reborn. It wasn't exactly fun, if I might say. It really beats you to the ground when you build up trust with people and a community and they throw you out like yesterday's garbage, leaving horrible posts on the internet spreading lies and revealing secrets of mine that I had only entrusted in one person. Among other things that happened that seem a bit too dim and depressing for here, this experience left me struggling to find a place to belong again. I honestly had nowhere to go. My old friend suicide was peaking its head around the corner. I never truly had the strength to beat it, but luckily, my family was stronger. I never cared for myself too much and I often thought no one else did. But, I was a sucker for pleasing other people. So to make sure my parents wouldn't be stricken with grief and despair, I pushed my friend suicide back into the corner where I hope I don't have to see it again. I played a lot of Reborn to cheer myself up after this. It was inspiring to see a game break the boundaries of the Poké-societal norm. After struggling to get my account to work for a while, I finally ended up making a post about a stupid bug I was having with Mac because I'm super lame and didn't use the search bar. Ended up unnecessarily posting in that topic too (go figure). It took me a little while to open up and start exploring the forums a bit more, but I was surprised to see such a fantastic community centered around such a big project. I decided I would try to do my best to fit in, and luckily, I did. People from Reborn have been here for me for a while when I need it most, and I can't express my gratitude for it enough.

Ame. I know we don't talk much. We do play League together sometimes, and I enjoy every second of it. You're such a fun person to be around. Half the time I'm feeding because you have me giggling over some stupid but hilarious pun you pull out of no where. Your incessant and often tired laughter is contagious, and I want you to know, you're one of my favorite people to just mess around with. You always seem to make the best out of the worst situations, an admirable trait that I never truly had. I truly adore you Ame (even though you said I sounded gayer than you expected :c). Hope you're willing to tolerate me screaming when I face-check a bush with four people in for a lot longer.

Enjoy the day (or don't, whatever you prefer). Just always remember what you've done for people without even trying, and remember that we're here for you just as much as you're here for us.

[Marcello]

I would be lying if I pretended I was super involved in this community. I don't post that often, there's only a small handful of people here I talk to semi-regularly, and I tend to have big bursts of activity on the showdown and minecraft servers, and then not go on them for ages.

And yet, despite all that, this place is a big part of my life. I found the game a little after Gen VI started, I believe. I had looked around the forums for help and stuff a few times, but not not actually joined, but one thing really stood out to me: The atmosphere around here, from an outsider's perspective, seemed so different to what I was used to online. Everyone seemed so... Nice. Friendly and helpful is what stood out to me. I thought about joining many times, but my track record with forums is to join, never do anything, and then just totally forget, so I didn't.

Then came a time where I was very worried about my health. To the point where I had come to terms with mortality and all that. And so I decided 'Now. NOW is the time to join what seems like a such a lovely, friendly community.' As it turns out, days after joining, Doctors finally came through and it turned out my worry was down to a number of errors, both on my part and theirs, and I was completely, 100% healthy.

But I decided to stay anyway. Because this community is just as nice, and helpful, and intelligent, and just plain fun as it seemed when I wasn't a part of it. And sure, I don't post all that often. Sure, I haven't really made many friends yet. But... So? I might not have found my place quite yet in this community, but I still love it here. And I know I eventually will find it. I can post about the things that interest me, be it gaming or writing or even maths. Anything, haha. I can do things I love doing and share them. And I know that even if it gets barely any response, this is such a wide community, there'll be someone who's interests align.

Really, what I'm trying to say is that this community you've made, Ame, is a brilliant one. One which is so important to everyone here, even those of us who don't seem all that active. Even if I don't know the perfect place or group within this community for me, what I can say for sure is that this community as a whole is somewhere that I fit in, somewhere right for me. And I'm willing to wager most everyone else here feels the same. And lets not forget the reason most of us got here first, too. Pokemon Reborn is a brilliant game, and one which I will always love, for the plot, for the gamelpay, for so many reasons, but just because it's damn good fun.

Your post was really touching, Ame. I don't know you personally, but your reputation here as a great person precedes you. And regardless of what you think of birthdays, and whether you see the point in people wishing you a happy birthday or not, I just have to say that you sure as hell DESERVE a happy birthday. Your strength is inspiring, and the community and game you've created are just plain brilliant.

(Oh, and as an aside for Dobby, I don't know if it's where it comes from originally, but the quote "The statistic doesn't matter to the individual" stuck with me too, I remember hearing Dr. Cox say something along those lines in an episode of Scrubs.)

Edited July 31, 2015 by Mumpelfink