That journal I only update at school~

[Aero]

this is one hell of a thread. xd

[Yuki]

Always recently posted in, forever.

[Guest]

I fucking lol'd at the holler for a dollar one

and yes you speak Australian <3

[Yuki]

You know it <3

[Yuki]

I'M ANTHONY. I'M A POTATO. SOMETIMES. I FORGET TO LOG OFF. NOW I'M LEARNING MY LESSON.

Heres a sexy pic of me:

[Yuki]

Maybe if I logged off, this wouldn't have happened. BUT NOOOOOO.

[Yuki]

Log off when you're on the school comp!-Alexan

PS; it was fate that I got your computer.

[Yuki]

FUCK^

This one^ Pokes her head into my Music Sampler class, "CHECK YOUR POKEMON PALACE FORUM THING".

That biiiiitch,

[Yuki]

It's been awhileeee. A long whileeee. And I've already decided I'm going to fail programming this quarter whether I want to or not, so I've no excuse not to update.

Omigod it's been 14 days since an entry. Whaaaaat.

Also I accidentally RightClick'd->"Undo" like twice and it was really annoying to watch my teeny little intro turn into no intro at all.

BRB opening photobucket.

Mmkay. Now I just need to work into a good time to use a GIF to catch your atten--

EN GARDE.

iGotChu.

Okay, so what's happened in the past 14 days...

No weed, so I've been experimenting with other stuff.

Over the counter meds, pain meds, aderall, DMX.

DMX in particular made me feel really bad the next day.

Uhhh.

What else.

I've been expanding my musical horizon.

And listening to some of my really old playlists.

ALSO, I made a 90s/early 2000s playlist for nostalgic purposes.

Yum.

Honestly I've been feeling pretty depressed.

I know I said it was coming on before, but it's probably full blown at this point.

My mom's making me get back into therapy because all the signs are there.

I still don't want to kill myself, I just want to not live, lol.

It'd be nice if I OD'd on accident or something.

My friend Alexan says she can get some shrooms, and Jazzie's going to get us some ecstasy.

Experimenting is fun.

I don't want Alexan to take x though, because her therapist had talked her out of it by overexagerating, but I set the record straight and she wasn't as scared anymore.

It's not like I contest/doubt that this sort of thing fucks you up, but I want her to at least be educated on these things.

I guess her therapist overplayed it, so the reality was much less harsh, and she decided she'd do it anyways.

So I feel kind of bad.

But her therapist said she thought that since Alexan has Major Depressive Disorder or something she'd hurt someone/herself on X.

ON X? LOL.

Side effects include an immense sense of euphoria, less paranoia/sadness/anger/violence, more acceptance/happiness/appreciation for colors and music.

Not violence or self harm.

I understand you may punch someone's lights out while dancing. That does NOT count as a homocidal act.

I also understand the after-effects. You've dumped a lot of the chemicals that make you happy/energetic/regulate your mood into a short time span.

Your body has to spend time building that back up.

In the meantime, you're let depressed/lethargic/apathetic/with a slower processing speed.

There are no proven longterm effects.

X is pretty minor.

But yeah. Jazzie could get me LSD too, though I would either have to take it outside witha group of friends.... probably freak out and hurt someone/myself... or at a friend's house.... on acid at someone's house, lol. Parents? Or mine. I would be sent back to the hospital.

So I think I'll take what can be seen as way too happy/excited/dancy than straight-up hallucinating, and freaking the hell out.

I used a loooooooooooooooot of GIFs there to keep your attention.

Also because I have so many I just don't know what to do with them.

Wow, my teacher goes around telling people to work on Visual Basic but he walks by me every time he leaves/goes to his desk and completely ignores the fact that I'm on Facebook/Pokemon forums/Photobucket.

Not sure if I'm intimidating, a lost cause, or he genuinely thinks I get my work done.

MOLDYWART.

Omg so the Hunger Games movie is out and I wanna see it soooo bad.

I read the first book like 2 years ago, and bought the 2nd/third REALLY SOON after they were released.

Probably my favorite book series of all time.

Got istracted by Fabook

"Guys we need to make a change tomorrow. We need to change [Hark's School] for the better by breaking down the cliques."

Okay, FIRST OF ALL, this school is boring as fuck.

SECOND OF ALL, there are no cliques.

THIRDLY, points one and two can combine into "This school is boring because there are no cliques" OR "This school has no cliques because it is boring."

Trust me, I eat drama for breakfast, and usually come out on top.

There isn't any here.

Someone else pointed out, "you act like the cliques are gangs dude. except not."

To which the poster responded, "You havent seen how cliquey freshman class is"

To which I interjected hours later, "It's freshman class. LOL."

Honestly, us being in the center (CEDSS), we're cut off from most of the mainstream kids.

Now let me tell you a little something about this years CEDSS freshman class.

If there are any cliques, it's Emily the 6"3 white girl who beats kids up, and her group of friends. They fit no stereotypes because they're not all bullies, just Emily. And they don't all do her bidding. They stand up for themselves. That's not a clique, that's a girl who's popular because she's a tryhard. And then there's the freshman who hang out with upperclassmen. If they're in any clique, it's not a freshman one.

And then there's everybody else, who in all honestly, fit into "geeks" "nerds" or "losers". It's legitimately the most annoying batch of underclassmen I've dealt with, ever. I'm talking about since I was in first grade and had kindergardners below me. None of the other kids till now have compared to how ear-grating, nerve-wracking, obnoxious, stupid, immature, tiny, and ANNOYING these kids are.

Emily's group I can deal with in short doses. They're a little more mature. They at lest act like they're in highschool. I can not express how much it is NOT an exageration when I say 70% of the rest of them act like they're tall 6th graders.

Wait, let me interrupt some f that with GIFs so it doesn't look too long.

Okay, that's a lot better.

What else has been going on.

Oh, I'm going to a Sweet 16 today.

I'll try to take/post pictures to upload later.

Yesterday we went to Kohls, found a jacket, dress shirt, and pair of khakis that fit, and put them on hold for 24 hours.

Because TODAY, we can take advantage of my grandma's Old Person Discount, and a coupon will be active.

Anyways, I look hot in it, and FABULOUS.

I don't actually know who's throwing the party, but Maddie was invited, and it's one of those "You're invited! Bring a date " type of things.

Also it's in a fancy schmansy country club, which is why I have to dress up.

Maddie's bringing liquor c:

Ooookay, what else can I talk your ear off about...

THERE ARE SO MANY PEOPLE I WANT TO BAN look, pandas!

#1 distraction.

Oh. I have more.

Moodkill inc bot lane watch out, mid MIA.

I spent all of Wednesday being depressed, angsty, and pissy.

6th and 8th I got caught texting and my 8th period teacher pulled me out of class to talk with me.

"Anthony, this isn't like you! You're not sneaky, or sad, or rude!"

Bitch you don't know me "Sorry Ms. Ohmes."

And then I get called out later by a security guard, telling me to come to the office with all my stuff.

He won't tell me whether I'm in trouble or not.

When I get there, they ask me to empty my bag.

I do, thankfully having nothing I'm not supposed to on me (I'd run out of cigarettes and at this point hadn't smoked weed in like a week)

and they pick out my two bottles of 5-Hour energy and ask, "What is this?"

"... my energy drink."

"Really? So it's not, say, alcohol?"

"..."

"hm?"

"no."

I legit got called out of class because they thought I'd been filling my 5-hour energy with shots.

They sniffed it, confirmed it wasn't liquor, and told me I'm not allowed to have them in school anymore.

I ask why they thought that, apparently my teachers think I act like I'm under the influence.

Which is only true like, 1/5 days of the school week, because I mostly only do that wed/after school friday.

And it's not usually alcohol.

So what the fuck?

6 minutes till I get out of this god forsaken class.

A bunch of kids are gathered around the guy two seats up for me, and the short one is REALLY FUCKING LOUD.

They're actually focusing on work but I'm literally told them to shut up twice now and they've yet to do so fully.

So obnoxious.

Ugh. Apparently I'm scaring Alexan by being openly like, not happy.

turned on my phone to check my texts, in the middle of the night she sent me

"It scares me that you don't care about anything. Like, even before the drugs."

Such a drama queen.

While it's true I give zero shits about morality/mortality/my (or the) future, I still care about some things. I care about her, for example. And Maddie.

Family, well, I love them as family, but they're just people you're forced to live with. I appreciate all they've done for me, really, but they're just obliged to. I don't deserve it any more than the next person, which is not at all. Friends are people you WANT to hang out with.

... Bell rang, bye.

[Yuki]

Bumping with aforementioned pictures of me being snazzy as fuck.

[Maelstrom]

Hark. You make me worry about you.

You're doing a lot of crazy shit without care for the consequences. You can only go on not caring for so long before everybody else begins to feel the same way about you. And then what? What price is gonna be too high to pay?

[Yuki]

Thanks for the concern, but it's not too much of an issue in my opinion.

I'm pretty good at doing crazy shit and getting away with it. Years of experience, even~ Though this is admittedly new territory.

Not much of anybody cares IRL. I mean, my parents would probably, but they don't know, which is one of the things I like about our relationship.

We don't talk, and when we do, I don't tell them anything about myself. It makes things easier on everybody.

I suppose if they did though, they'd send me back to the mental hospital and residential afterwards. Which I wouldn't particularly mind...

There's no price that isn't worth paying! Nothing means much of anything. You and I are about as meaningful as the computer we're typing on, and the value of living over dying is zilch. Though I imagine life is our brief reprieve from whatever there was prior, which again, I imagine to be not anything at all. So it doesn't really matter if I live or die, or what I do in what state to another.

What you or others want to believe I'll respect, but understandably not conform myself to. While I've got my chance to live and do whatever I want, I fully intend to take advantage of that. Before I die by whoever's hand decides I'm done here, be it mine or someone elses.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~Journal Time~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ooookay. Now!

Skimming my last post...

Kay I just read all that and omfg I'm going to finish this journal earlier than most so I can fix some intense typos/grammatical errors.

Mmmm drugs aren't THAT crazy. Just wait till you hear the kind of shit I used to do at the mental hospital and prior to it xx

Just finished listening to

and my playlist just shuffled itself over to

I will love you till the end of time

Kay, on to actual post content.

Firstly, the Sweet 16.

It was kind of really boring!

The girl turning 16 had a baby though, and he was super cute. His name was Christopher.

Maddie didn't turn out any liquor.

There were like 30 people.

The girl's parents were super sketched out, so we couldn't do much other than sit there and talk while the music played really loud.

It was good music, but hardly anyone danced, and it made conversation difficult.

While we were there, I asked some guy he was a model because I'd never seen someone that flawless in real life before.

But uh. He wasn't a model and it was awkward. And then he started making out with the birthday girl, which was more awkward because she has a boyfriend who isn't him.

But I guess she rolls that way, the baby being proof.

The most I got was menthols, all fucking night :I

Though the guy sharing them asked my if Maddie was my "girl", which I thought was LOLFUNNY because my Gay Vibe isn't hard to catch sight of, nor is the fact that she'd been flirting with him all night.

Doodadoo, what else happened...

Not much during the party, that's what.

Saturday I missed something.... I don't mind having missed.

Maddie invited me to hang with her boyfriend, and Jess/Kyle, who are also dating.

I couldn't get a ride and didn't want to be the odd one out (single one alone QQ) so I opted out.

Then she tells me there was a lot of boyfriend on girlfriend action come monday, and I think "What the fuck doesn't casual sex between more than one couple at a time only happen in fucking pretentious porn" and decide I'm happy I didn't go. Woulda been hella awk.

Sunday nothing happened.

Yesterday, Monday, I brought the money for the X, and I guess Summer's trading it for the stuff from her dealer and getting it back to me now.

I trust her not to rip me off, so it's all good.

So since I'm not allowed to bring energy drinks to school anymore, my mom made me tea for caffeine this morning.

Because coffee is bitter and gross.

It worked for awhile but this shit makes you crash too, as evidenced by me, right now.

Ughhhhhhhh.

Kassadin free week. Trollin' bitches on Twisted Treeline

Sometimes Homestuck can be so longwinded it hurts to read.

But most of the time it's just awesome.

I don't really have much to say so bye <3

[Vonnegut]

Hey loser.

I made an account.

I don't know what I'm doing. Also, the tick that had a friggin piece of flesh in it's mouth when I cut it in half is gone.

IT'S GONE.

omg what if it spawns.

I read the tos (might as well, considering how short it is) and I found it very humorous.

Direct me to your rules of conduct.

Not much of anybody cares IRL.

Boy, you don't even KNOW. I talk about you with my therapist, psychologist, and psychiatrist-we all express concerns (they get annoyed at me for taking up their time talking about you).

Shut your slut mouth. Do you friggin know how many ~an hero~ threads there are on random because of nihilistic butts like you?

DO YOU? I will shove Nietzsche, Sartre, and Camus into your brain so that you can at least be more researched in the philosophy you so easily accept.

I watched an anime. The 1st ep of Inu X Boku SS.

I really shouldn't post before reading the rules of conduct/speech. I'll get a warning. By you. Or something.

[Vonnegut]

And where are the signature shops.

Is that what they're called here?

This site has an index. Why aren't I using it.

WHY.

[Neo]

...What?

2. Your breaking rules 1 and 2. (You know where)

[Yuki]

...What?

2. Your breaking rules 1 and 2. (You know where)

IRL friend, shhhh

And where are the signature shops.

Is that what they're called here?

This site has an index. Why aren't I using it.

WHY.

1- Be respectful. Or at least pretend like it.

2- At least attempt to act intelligently. (No chatspeak)

3- No trolling.

4- Do not be annoying.

5- Respect the opinions and autonomy about and of the metagame.

6- Do not advertise.

7- Overt sexual content will not be tolerated.

8- All talk in the main-chat should be in English.

9- Refrain from using derogatory language.

[Yuki]

Hey loser.

I made an account.

I don't know what I'm doing. Also, the tick that had a friggin piece of flesh in it's mouth when I cut it in half is gone.

IT'S GONE.

omg what if it spawns.

I read the tos (might as well, considering how short it is) and I found it very humorous.

Direct me to your rules of conduct.

Boy, you don't even KNOW. I talk about you with my therapist, psychologist, and psychiatrist-we all express concerns (they get annoyed at me for taking up their time talking about you).

Shut your slut mouth. Do you friggin know how many ~an hero~ threads there are on random because of nihilistic butts like you?

DO YOU? I will shove Nietzsche, Sartre, and Camus into your brain so that you can at least be more researched in the philosophy you so easily accept.

I watched an anime. The 1st ep of Inu X Boku SS.

I really shouldn't post before reading the rules of conduct/speech. I'll get a warning. By you. Or something.

I love you so much you have no fucking idea <3 <3 <3 <3

You can acquire a signature by clicking your name, it'll zoop you to your profile. Then click "Edit my profile" in the top-right and the rest is pretty easy.

Call me, I'm awake <3

[Yuki]

I've much to add here, which I'll do when toddlers do not require my attention. Zippidy Zoop.

[Cyrus]

Hark, two things.

One: Images, where do you find?

Two. Toddlers should post too.

[Yuki]

1: Tumblr

2: In summation, all they would add at this point is ioasd0 0 - - 2op21

[Ikaru]

I agree, I have a tumblr I never use, just to send messages to the only person I followed >.>

But it's definitely a really good source for pictures >> <<

[Cyrus]

I have Tumblr too. Hell, I've seen your pictures you've posted here on there.

Also, Hark. It's cute whatever toddlers do, even shit their pants.

[Yuki]

Hi it's only been forever and a half.

I pulled an allnighter last night, so prepare to be bombarded by typos, lost trains of thought, and nonsensical ramblings. I blame Mash, you should too \o/

There are so many unrelated posts between this type-box and my last post, scrolling up and down to see what has/needs to be covered is going to be an adventure.

jk it's not too far up the page.

That was a really short journal entry, wtf?

I WILL DO BETTER THIS TIME.

Idk what GIFs I have and haven't used, spring break killed my journal habits and this lack of sleep isn't helping.

Okay so today I made it clear that "I haven't slept at all, but I'm wearing my new skinnies so at least I'll look fab while I nap!"

Fuck chronological order, I'm skipping around.

K I'll try to start from the beginning (what's happened since the last post) but it's been like 2-3 weeks so don't expect it to be too detailed/me to remember everything.

Dyed my friend's hair red after school, didn't know I wasn't supposed to use gloves. Her hair looks fab, my nails and hands were stained. Hands have since un-stained,nails aren't nearly as noticeable, but if you look, it still looks like I'm a fairy-boy who nailpolish'd it up.

Hung out after school the next day, got high. Ran into Ellie, and she did that thing she does where she lets me know she doesn't approve but won't pester me about it.

They were going to get my eyedrops because my eyes were red but when we went outside they told me my eyes were white again and I said something like "i'm a magician!" which I guess was really funny because they laughed alot. Then they tossed me this textured rubber duck thing and omg it was the best thing I'd ever experienced and I loved it so much, iasdosjdsidjasds.

I forget the rest.

Owait, I was concerned I'd be all sorts of afterglow'd the next day, which was the music show.

The next day, school lol. Then after school, the music show.

Maddie and I were the MCs and co-hosting for each other. We bounce off each other well so it was cool.

Except the entire fucking time we just wanted to be high.

Raziel came and we bugged him for pills but he didn't have any. Then the teacher said he wasn't allowed to be on school grounds since he didn't show up that day.

Then we called Roach and he said he didn't have any but he totally fucking did because he was high off his ass later and nobody had weed. Also he always has pills. Asshole.

Jeremiah also isn't allowed @ school.

So we suffered through it sober.

And lol, onto the actual fucking show. Maddie and I would be backstage laughing our asses off at something about the script or the people performing the entire fucking time. We'd come out to announce the next act redfaced. 'twas cool.

And while we were eating din, 2 bags of 18 cans of mountain fucking dew plop themself on my table. I look up to see that Ellie in all her motherly friendly beauty has lugged these things to the show to give to me, and I give her my thanks, my love, my caffeine-craving praise.

I love that girl.

Mmmm then we go home.

Skipped school the next day, it was a half day so why the fuck not.

And then, spring break!

Wow, this is all atually coming to me in chronological order, all I have to do is apply myself and think in a linear manner. Screwy, huh?

So, saturday, nothing.

Sunday, I hung out with Maddie at Fair City. I invited Alexan but she couldn't join us.

Maddie's dad dropped us off at Best Buy, we went to that lil section where you can play games and played Lego: Pirates of the Caribbean. We're horrible puzzle-solvers.

We got bored and moved on.

Went to 5 Below, the staff is so used to kids just walking out with shit they want in their pockets so they watched us like hawks. We left.

Went to McDonalds for a bite to eat, and acted like we were from the street.

No, we didn't act "gangsta", we acted like we were Without Home.

I paid with $6 in quarters. She had $4 in bills.

It was really obnoxious.

And then we didn't want the alst burger so she put it in her purse and we both decided we could never survive on the streets.

Then we called Roach looking for pills, and Raziel picked up because apparently Roach, Raz, and Ellie had been hanging out, (Ellie being their ride,) and Roach had forgotten his phone in her car. Raz and Ellie met up with us and we decided to go to the little park/forrest/creek thing down the street. Actually it's kind of big and mostly woods.

Ellie set out her blanket, brought her guitar, and lit some incense. We sat on the sand/rock area by the creek.

Raz brought out a thing of cigars, and we lit+passed around.

Now, I hadn't been anywhere near when we were warned not to inhale.

So I inhaled like a boss, every time it came to me.

Didn't even cough.

Then we went back because my mom was taking Maddie and I home soon, and expected to pick us up @ McDonalds.

Let me preface this next bit in saying Maddie is flirtacious and a bit permiscuous, and not too serious concerning commitment with her boyfriend, Raz.

And that Raz and I have dated twice, and he's a bit of a slut. Also he's bi.

Ellie was sitting awkwardly in the front as Raz/Maddie made out, and Raz was teasing me by sticking his hand down my pants and playing around.

Ellie and I quickly decided we needed some air and left them to it.

That was all, pretty much.

Then I went home and skyped with Tyler/Matt all night, losing my voice, and eventually it began to hurt when I spoke.

I looked it up, and found out inhaling cigars was bad.

freaked out.

Next morning, mom wakes me up saying I have to stay at grandma's, when original plan was for me to stay home while they were at bush gardens theme park.

of course, I complain, though nothing bratty. Just distressed at my plans being flipped over.

"Stop trying to ruin my trip from afar!" um, what? You're not being reasonable.

"It's like you can't have fun witht he family anymore. Only with your friends! Well you know what, Anthony? FUCK you, and FUCK your friends!"

Wow wtf I don't feel like going to Bush Gardens because I'm feeling sick and I've been depressed.

"Oh Woe is me, my parents won't leave me alone so I won't be able to kill myself!"

At this point I sort of start crying because what the hell, that's just hurtful. She still hasn't apologized for it, and I'm still not speaking beyond necesary statements towards her, because what the actual fuck, a mother to her son who's had problems with suicidal ideation in the past.

Then she leaves and I legit cough up literal bloody mucus.

Spend the next 3 days caring for my cousins (2 and 1 year old, both walking, the horror) while coughing up mucus and sneezing myself to death.

Then they get back from the theme park and I go home, and continue being sick until Sunday, when I go to the doctor and get some nasal stuff and antibiotics.

Sinus infection.

Woot wooooooot.

So yeah all that sucked.

OOOH WAIT THERE'S ONE MORE THING I FORGOT, PUTTING IT IN WHERE IT BELONGS.

K there.

OH ALSO, VONNEGUT IS SOMEONE I KNOW IN REAL LIFE <3

Best friend ever.

love.

love.

love.

That's the same Vonnegut who's set up the shop where people are getting these new avatars and signatures! Including my signature(s), below this post~

It makes me happy

Oooh, running out of things to talk about but I'm still missing so much.

Oh yeah, first session with my therapist in one and a half years, it went well but I couldn't fit everything into that 1-hour timeframe. seeign her again next week.

Only 3 more minutes to type

BRB adding a GIF upwards^

K done.

2 minutes.

Might as well put away my shit and wrestle my way to the door

peace.

[Yuki]

Kay hi, read all the above before starting on this one, instead of saying "HI LET ME SCROLL UP TO READ!"

Game changerrrrr.

Uh so the teacher is gonna come around and check on what we have done so far for this chapter. AHAHAHHAHAAHAHDAHHDASDOADSADAKDA

I haven't done anything and there wereeee... 5 assignments in this chapter.

Good impressions on the teacher-folk, I make them.

In other news,

• Active Posts 962 (1.92 per day)
  
• Reborn Rupees: 334,181 (#1)
  

Almost 1k active posts ;D

Aaaaand, #1 Reborn Rupees using hax.

Oh god teacher is aware I'm not working again. I think at some point he started caring and now it's a passive-aggressive sort of thing.

He just picked the book we're supposed to be working from off my desk and didn't even look at me and I just continued typing out the situation and now he's checking everyone's work except mine

Been really getting into Punk Rock and Punk. I should have been born 10 years before I was :c

Experiencing the end of the 80s, all of the 90s, and the rest up till now woulda been jawesome.

My honorary yearssssss.

But instead I was born in 95.

Anybody else into that general genre?

Sum 41, Blink 182, Yellowcard, Plus 44 fit the bill for Punk Rock.

Punk was more The Offsprings, Beastie Boys, Nirvana.

Both of 'em are delicious.

Legit just want to run away for the drama of it sometimes, because everything is so boring.

Pretty sure when I'm out of the house & things slow down I'll decide I'm done.

Already feel that way, but I wouldn't do anything while I'm still in contact with all these people.

Not fair to them.

Yellowcard xoxo

Okay, now to recount actual events I guess...

I forget if anything happened monday s:

Tuesday,(and I thought I'd already journal'd about this...) a new kid showed up in my english class 10 minutes before it ended.

His name is [censored from potential internet stalkers] but he goes by his last name.

He's.

So.

Fucking.

Attractive.

And he's like got good manners and he's respectful.

I never realized how HOT manners/being respectful can be.

Or maybe I did at some point, but my crowd just sort of made me forget about it.

Anyways. Then he shows up in my 5th period class, and Maddie and I invite him over to sit with us in music.

We all talk blahblah invite him to lunch, he gets lost when we're seperated, we see him the next day, he's in 2 more of my classes.

And now we're all buddiessssss.

And he's straight btw so I'll just sort of lust from afar.

"I have hair too! We should be friends."

~Intermission since I'm trying to be chronological and need to add some GIFs to this post~

Wednesday after school, uhm.

Went across the street like always, was with Maddie/Raziel(her boyfriend, my ex)

asked Jeremiah about getting some Mollies, he referred me to Gabe, Gabe said he could get me some if I brought him money.

Raz and I walked Maddie to her therapist appointment.

He and I were alone on the walk back, so I asked about mollies.

He said not to trust Gabe because he fucks everyone over and doesn't give the money back.

He offers to get some for me, but he needs to talk to his dealer, because they haven't talked in ages since Raz quit drugs in general.

Then he asked me if I have a boyfriend atm and I was like "nah flying solo, got the friends w/ benefits thing going on with Omar but he's been outta town for a few weeks."

Then he like casually suggests we do something sexual in the woods.

I'm like "nah I'm good lolo" out loud but "um you're my friend's boyfriend you slut that BETTER have been as casual a JOKE as it came off." in my head.

I initially didn't tell Maddie about it because I didn't want to cause an awkward "believe my boyfriend or my friend" situation because he WOULD lie about it.

Anyways, then Thursday.

I remember nothing about Thursday.

Let's seeee... oh yeah I talked with my clinician all of Geometry because emotional issues are a great way to skip class for free.

Yeah that's pretty much it for Thursday.

And theeeeeeen, Friday.

Eventful.

English with Hottie, that was cool. Slept with my head propped up on my hand while we read The Great Gatsby.

Return periods were 1&2 so I just went back to English after break, and then Programming where I perused the internet.

Next was Music Sampler, and Friday is Music Friday in there so the only classwork that day is to share a song. I shared

because I like that song.

Maddie Hottie and I all talked then we went to the lunch line.

We were like, "ew it's GrossPizza day."

"Lol we should go to Wendys, it's just across the street."

"Lol watch us get caught. Everybody does it but they only ever seek out the CEDSS kids because Etenburg is an anal ButtMonger."

"Nah everybody does it."

So we go across the street and get some Wendys (two baconators and a frosty between the three of us) and see ~15 people doing the same.

We come back to school and eat it on campus.

I check my phone, we were off grounds for a total of 7 minutes.

It's a good lunch, we all talk, have fun, and the food is much better than the shit they try to pass off as pizza @ school.

We go to class.

20 minutes into 7th period, a security guard comes to escort me to the office.

I'm like WTF really?

All 3 of us get Saturday School and a call to our parents.

Stupid as fuck.

7 minutes off grounds, I ASKED them to search me to confirm I didn't bring anything illegal on-campus.

They did, I was clean.

And fucking after school, I get the text I totally expected from my mother, which I think was totally reasonable mind you, "Get on the bus and go straight home. No hanging out today."

I ask one of the other kids we went across the street with whether they got in trouble, and they were like "lol no I never have."

So these maisntream kids go across the street at least 3 times a week during lunch, and apparently most of them never get seeked out for punishment.

CEDSS kids do it once, saturday school.

Fucking ridiculous.

We were in a group.

Why were the only 3 kids not in mainstream handpicked as the rules-breakers?

Because CEDSS is full of asshats.

When Maddie comes out though she's crying and I hug her and I'm like what's up babe and apparently Mr. Etenburg when on speaker with Maddie's mom was like "Her BOYFRIEND, RAZIEL, is in jail for having ILLEGAL DRUGS on his person."

And Raz had told MAddie he'd quit, and her boyfriend was in jail now, adn she comes out and explained this to Emily first, and Emily said she'd heard Raz was cheating on Maddie, so Maddie comes to me and is like "HE LIED AND HE WAS CHEATING AND HE STILL DID DRUGS AND HE'S IN JAIL AND I HATE HIM"

Except she actually is like head over heels for him so all of that was tearing her apart.

When I get home, I get a call from my mother detailing punishment.

I'm to clean the 4 bathrooms by the end of the night.

Pretty damn reasonable if you ask me, though I didn't think what I did was at ALL worth punishing over, especially on top of the school punishment.

My parents usually ground for a month (no electronics, friends, anything really) so I was pleased with 1 day of punishment at first.

And then I started cleaning skuzzy toilets.

Ewwwwww. I ask my mom about it, trying to divulge what cleaning toilets would do to dissuade me from crossing the street any more than saturday school, considering saturday school had already convinced me not to ever do it again already.

"I like to reinforce school punishments at home."

"But this isn't really worth punishing... I was across the street for 7 minutes. Isn't this a bit much for that? Saturday school, taking away a planned social time, and 4 bathrooms?"

"Doesn't amtter how long. You broke a school policy. I wanted to take everything away for a month but your father complained so you're cleaning bathrooms instead."

Not too much more of that before I give up trying to communicate with my mother on anything ever.

On to actual Saturday School...

Woke up way earlier than anybody should have to on a Saturday, with only 20 minutes to jump in the shower, get dressed, and have my mom drive me to school.

Like it starts at 8 and I woke up at 7:40.

'twas an adventure.

I go to Entrance 1 like the letter and assistant principal said I should, and sit there, having arrived at 8:00 on the dot.

Maddie shows up at 8:01.

We sit there till 8:11. Maddie and I both skipped breakfast so we joke about going across the street to Wendys again.

Then this guy walks out and he's like "Yeah no. Haven't you learned anything?"

And the imaginary crickets chirped really loudly to help relieve the awkward tension.

"You were supposed to come straight to room E208."

"Uhh we were told Entrance 1."

"Guess I'll have to hold you after 10 more minutes to make up for lost time, then."

asdosadkspskdsopa okay I guess.

Rules were, no talking, electronics, or putting your head down/sleeping. I'd slept like 3 hours, and 4 the night before... so I slept for 15 minutes with my head propped on my hand and my bangs over my eyes. And then there was break time. I didn't know Saturday School had a break?

Okay I guess.

Maddie and I had 8 minutes (weird number, not rounded at all) to do whatever and come abck so we got some candy from a vending machine,a nd walked outside to circle back towards E208.

There was a 5k going on so there were lots of people.

We saw a stand with food set up for these running peeps so of course we were like "ooh mine" and grabbed a bunch.

The Saturday School dude totally judged us, but munching on stuff kept us awake and not-hungry so it was cool.

We NEEDED it, I tell you!

So yeah we survived.

Sunday I WANTED to hang out @ Fair City Mall but I had a therapist appointment @ 11 and dinner @ my grandmas house so

My therapist is concerned I've taken a passive stance on everything and let people dish out stuff and I just say "okay" or take it.

Which I don't think is entirely true because with my parents we hardly ever interact, and everybody else I just sort of do what she said I guess?

But since my mom continues to ignore my requests to go to the DMV to try for my permit, and I don't ask for an allowance or something (money's tight atm) I'm just being passive and rolling with the punches apparently.

Okayyyy.

Mentioned this to my mom she actually got really pissed & defensive.

Klol woman.

Hmmm this post feels sort of lengthy.

OH YEAH now that Raz is in jail idk where I'm gonna get my damn mollies.

/ragequit

[Conor]

I LOVE ALL OF THAT MUSIC. not so big on blink 182 anymore tho, there kind of repetitive, although i still do love them. Ocean Avenue is like my favorite song, i know every word. Sum 41 is raw, same with New found Glory if you ever heard of them. they do this song called Hit or Miss and it is also one of my all time favorites. The offspring is also pretty good. And im in the same boat as you, i finally convicned my mom to take me for my temps test back in august like amonth before my 16th birthday but now that i know how to drive she refues to take me for my liscense. BLeehhhhh i hate it