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That journal I only update at school~


Yuki

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And then league at eight... ......Might I suggest a biphasic sleep schedule?

Biphasic means you sleep in two parts. The more 'phases' you sleep in, the less you have to sleep. For a biphasic sleep schedule, one generally only needs 4-5 hours a night (after their body adjusts). Ideally, these sleep times are twelve hours apart.... And actually your schedule allows that (if only your parents will).

I see sleeping from 3:30-5:30 AM/PM? Maybe 3:15-5:30 if you're reliably home at that time. It's best if it's balanced, but if you need, you can even push the 3:30 AM back to 2:30 if you want to get that fifth hour.

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I've been such a bitch the past few days. Like legitimately, and I don't know why.

To anyone who agrees because I've personally bitched in their general direction, I apologize.

I don't know if it's adjusting my sleep schedule or what, but christ.

Moving on.

So I go blonde, have the same hair color has my BFFIRL Alexan, and she says she doesn't like it because it looks like I was trying to be cute and play twinsies.

I wasn't and she knooooows that, but I tell her I'd already planned on dying it red.

AND THEN SHE DYES HER HAIR RED ASIODAIODAS

SillyAlexan,TrollsAreForTheInternet.

Guess I'll do blue, it'd contrast more anyways.

Feeling more depressed than I'd like to admit lately.

I made A/B honor role again this quarter, which is REALLY FUNNY, because I literally completed 4 homework assignments between my 7 classes all quarter.

If I wasn't taking CEDSS classes and was in mainstream I'd have failed.

But my parents are happy with my pity grades, because they're not aware how much we're babied here.

I'm going to talk to the transition lady at my IEP meeting this Friday about helping me get a job at the new burger king up the street.

I could really use some money.

I wouldn't even use it all on games.

maybe like a $10 card for LoL every other week.

Watch me get banned on LoL for "leaving" because of my horrible net, and all the $$ go down the drain.

I like my new trainer card, but I wish I'd chosen a color that didn't clash with the orange flames.

Cyan sounded like a good idea untill I saw what it did in contrast to my sprite.

I really don't want to manually put in the team/excerpt again just because of card color though, lol.

Mmmmmm I want to put the sig Ame made me in my... sig.

Getting @ that after I finish typing this.

BY THE WAY, I FINISHED MY PROGRAMMING ASSIGNMENT BEFORE I STARTED ON THIS.

Which is new so all you adoring fans should be proud of me.

And offer me virgin sacrifices.

Bathed in the blood of their loved ones.

Getting into Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

It's totally cliche and all but they have a strong and independant female lead, though she still manages to pull off "valley girl", which I guess is important-- breaking the gender boundary while still being able to partake in individual bits on either side you fancy.

Also none of the characters are Mary Sue's.

d-d-d-d-d-d-DANCE.

Lily Allen, you sassy bitch you.

Ooh I think this post should take me to page 3...

Also, it's a HOT topic.

Hark topics are always Hot topics.

Mad?

I think I'll go edit my "About Me" now, since it's the same as it was over a year ago.

EDIT: oops, still page 2 I guess. is it 20 per page?

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Whoa, everyone's realizing how cool it is to have Flareon as your picture I guess, since it's the best pokemon ever.

Ikaru Amethyst and I, man.

SOON TO BE EVERYONE.

Has anyone actually EVER used this thing's twitter function?

Twitter's annoying.

I hope not.

The teacher wnts us to do like 4 assignments on Visual Basic today so I did one and said "FUQ DA POLIEC" really loud and everybody looked at me except I didn't, this all happened in my head.

I'm a cool kid.tumblr_ly8czkrp6c1qdlh1io1_r1_400.gif

I don't know how to type below the picture, because my text always shows up next to or above it no matter what I do.

WAIT NO, FIXED IT.

Now I can litter my journal entries with all my favorite GIFs. xoxo<3

So yesterday I was out with some friends, and I'd been promised canabis.

Instead they bummed some money off my for smokes, and didn't even offer me one.

I think I need new friends.

The kind with benefits.

tumblr_lxu6ebX0zh1qdlh1io1_400.gif

Brobrobrobrobro

What the hell is DECA?

Srs.

This house is made of paper, built on the quickest sand.

Started on the second project because I guess I have the time.

Then I came back here to type some whatever and for soem reason looked to my textbook for inspiration.

Hey guys,

Private Sub btnExpression1_Click(ByVal sender as System

Me.lblExpression1.Text = 5 + 2 ^ 3

End Sub

:D !!! <3 xoxo

Got really pissed off this morning because I told my mom I felt like crap and wanted to stay home and she called bullshit on me.

"Every time you say you're sick, you never end up throwing up! It's bullshit. You'll survive. Get your ass out of those pajamas and get ready for the damn bus."

I didn't sayyyy I felt like I needed to throw up, Moooooooooom.

I was going to.

And I wasn't trying to trick you, Mooooooom.

I was trying to lie to you.

I don't know why it's so offending that she's accusing me of lying, when I totally am.

Y U NO TRUST ME (because you lie) Oh okay.

Here's the day you hoped would never come

Don't feed me violins

just run with me through rows of speeding cars.

The papercuts the cheating lovers

The coffee's never strong enough

i know you think it's more than just bad luck

There there baby

it's just text book stuff

it's in the ABC of growing up

Now, now darling

oh don't lose your head

cause none of us were angels

and you know I love you yeah

Sleeping pills know sleeping dogs lie

never far enough away

Glistening in the cold sweat of guilt

I've watched you slowly winding down for years

You can't keep on like this...

now's a bad a time as any

I like music. tumblr_ly5v7n84Ib1qb9pa3o1_500.gif

danananananananananna BAT MAAAAAAAAN

You're cute.

I like you.

My trainer card's background color didn't change even though I used the color changer shop item thing.

Damn.

I picked Orange :C

So the kids always encourage me to join the conversation and such on the bus or whatever and today I decided I'd do that.

Every time I tried to join the conversation, I was completely ignored.

I guess there's only room for 4 ._.

What... EVER.

Listening to a bunch of Imogen Heap.

She's pretty unique, or at least her sound is.

But all her songs are completely on different planes from each other.

3 minutes till the bell. Kbaitumblr_lxlhy5KD4m1r5hqf3o1_500.gif

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  • 2 weeks later...

Been wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy too long for something that was supposed to be semi-regular during school hours.

I'll admit that there were times I had something to add from home, but said, "This is 'The Journal I Only Update From School'!"

--kicked off the comp by teacher, will return at alater period--

Kay, back.

Popped a 5-hour energy, that shit is chock-full of caffeine.

The equivelent of 12 servings of the leading premium-brand coffee.

Fuck, I'm twitchy.

That stuff tastes like shit though.

Anyways;;

Catching up. Let's see, my last update... excuse me as I skim over it...

... yeah, so nothing particularly substantial.

Though I'm going to go back later and fix a few typos.

Let's see. Since then, I have:

1) Been hit on hardxcore by someone 3 years younger than me

2) Battled a concentrated bout of depression brought on by my less than acceptable sleep schedule coupled with latent guilt and emotions I'd considered long-dead

3) Broke things off with that boy because I was hardly interested in the first place

4) Bought my friend a Plan-B pill with her money (those things cost 60 fucking dollars)

5) Decided I no longer give a fuck, again.

(1) This kid texts me from my friend's phone letting me know he's heard alot about me, to text him. I do so, find out he's either 14 or 15. Also he wants my dick because he's seen me perform and thinks I'm cute. Uhh?

(2) That sleep pattern, or lack of it, is still slicing my brain up and shoving it in a dirty plastic bowl for the holiday season.

The depression/guilt was largely influence by the realization that the kid in (1) was exactly me when I was younger. A slut seeking an older man, at an age much too young and emotionally immature to do so. In the past 3 years, I've slepts with 14 men, all older than me, some of them multiple times. Am I proud of it? No. Does it serve as a reminder that sex does NOT fill any sort of void for long? Yes.

He also reminded that I'm not quite "over" or "at peace" with my less-than-admirable past.

(3) Lol. I look for 4 things in a person before considering to venture on the journey people reffer to as a "Relationship":

Smart, Nice, Cute, Patient.

All I could say for him was that he was cute, in a horny/hormonal trying-too-hard sort of way.

(4) So she has sex with the boy I told her was a bad influence, and doesn't use a condom, even though one was available. Why? "I wasn't thinking...". That tends to happen when you let someone steal your first time with: Cigarettes, weed, alcohol, and sex. You let them convince you to do stupid shit, because you're not used to saying 'no' to them.

(5) Not much to say here. I consider myself an Existential Nihilist. For any confused about the term, it is the philosophical belief that life is without objective meaning. "Why are we here?" and "What's the point?" are the obnoxiously clear examples of this. I'm sure it doesn't help from another perspective that I've felt this way before, and it was written off as coupled with my anxiety/depression. Though I don't feel exactly as I did in the heat of all of that, I'm definately feeling the calm before the storm which I believe is a sort of mental fortitude-- barring the windows, heating the oil, getting ready to stay like this awhile, but certainly not without a fight.

Now that I've covered what's gone on since my last post...

Yesterday, I went through all the pages in "What are YOU listening to??" and discovered that Ikaru is my musical muse.

Props2YouHoneyBooboo.

Not going to delve into the bitchery exchanged between my mother and myself this morning, because I fully realize I was just being a brat. #FirstWorldProblems. The worst part is when you REALIZE you ahve no right to be mad, but are anyways. It just reaffirms this sort of self-reminder that you're what everyone talks about when they refference "spoiled white Americans".

Why can't I see any of the Ace Member threads AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

QQAmethystFixItQQ

QQPleaseForMeQQ

Sometimes I'm not sure that I deserve staff here.

I mean, I do my job hosting Ruby Line, but most anyone could do that.

And I'm often OtherWindow'd while online, anyways.

I certainly wouldn't "quit" or "leave" if I was demoted, but it would still be dissapointing.

I like the idea of being a "big" server more than the reality.

"Hospital" by Lydia sums up all of my life.

Not really, but still.

So apparently we have a new kid in my next period...

The class where the deaf kid and the autistic kid take turns on the drums, and the deaf kid has to play loud enough to hear, while the autistic kid is convinced that the deaf kid will not hear unless he plays as loud as possible.

This is why I claim the computer and bitch about them with my music turned high and headphones in.

The new kid, however, will not have this luxury.

Poor new kid.

Two minutes till the bell rings... I may or may not return to this later.

Anyways, it's fleshed out enough that I'd totally encourage coments/replies/spelling&grammatical error point-outs.

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Updating the second time today after choking my way through the studio-class part of music sampler.

Currently on country music, we were comparing Cowboy Country to Hillbilly Country...

*shudder*

Pshahhh.

I told the new kid that this class was full of Awks.

SHE SHOULD HAVE RUN WHILE SHE HAD THE CHANCE.

Spam

Spam

spam

spam

Spam

Oo

That one was capitalized.

I hate being hovered over.

Glad I got all anxious and "Spam'd" till it scrolled down.

Woulda been awk.

Keep on the Sunny side, sunny side, sunny BLAHBLAHBLAH I need to add substance to this post.

I got sort of pissed off at one of the moderators on my Xat yesterday, because she was giving me 'tude.

I saw her flooding and said, "Ono, flood, must banbanban!" In a manner that was beyond joking.

She retorted with, "Whatever. Since when did you give a shit abotu this place?"

Ummm, EXCUSE you?

You're talking to the person who made this place what it is today, after the original owner quit because he couldn't change anything. I wrote the rules, staff guidelines, and all that. I made the Facebook Page. I hold regular contests and games. Also I made you staff and entirely revamped the attitude of the dusty old xat into something new, and started regular background cotnests so we could change that background every Saturday.

Our old owner showed up once every other week and trolled.

I like to think I'm an improvement!

Poor new kid.

The other kids are too loud in the back room to be dealt with.

And I'm too commandeering of this computer to be moved.

Matt&Kim is the cutest band ever. Such a happy sort of music. And they're married. Soooooo cuuuuute <3

... So I got a lot of money from my grandmother/uncle two nights ago...

$100 from my grandmother for my recent birthday

another $20 for good grades

$60 from my uncle for my birthday.

I've never had this much money at once before in my life.

Also I don't have a job or get an allowance so having any money is a sort of rarity.

I'll probably treat myself to a card for League Of Legends and save the rest.

Ugh these kids play the drums way too loud. Turning the volume up.

My 5 hour energy kick is starting to ebb.

Noooo, come baaaaaack... That wasn't 5 hours...

IkaBro is BestBro.

Kay I have nothing else to say and I see a new button I hadn't noticed before that I'd like to click so bye!

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WowOkayyyy.

Listening to

and

Loooooooooove <3

When's the last time you told someone you loved them, and meant it?

A family member, spouse, boy/girlfriend, best friend, or whatever.

I try to say it often enough, to let people know I appreciate them.

I think it's sappy and nice.

Almost TOO nice.

Lol I was typing that with my teacher over my shoulder.

He got all sassy when he saw I wasn't doing my programming work.

"You having a good time? >:I"

YES

YES SIR

SIR, YES SIR.

For sure.

Totally.

Yeah.

Ew this song is sad.

Okay fixed.

I should really be doing my work right now tumblr_lytgz3dvrp1r0jzcro1_500.gif

tumblr_lx140464dJ1qzo85uo1_500.gif

But I'm too cool for work.

Lol

Lol

Lol

I get really self conscious when I post GIFs in class

Because I have to go to my photobucket

Which has some things I'm not sure I could explain, on it.

So I started talking to the new girl I mentioned yesterday, and invited her to sit with my friends and I at lunch. She seems pretty cool (:

Her name's Maddy.

I've been showing her where all her classes are.

The freshmen this year are more annoying and childlike than any years' past AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I just want to...

tumblr_lylgbs7BzZ1qdlh1io1_400.gif

NOBODY SAW ANYTHING.

Luke Skywalker does NOT handle homocidal bears.

Shhhh.

You know nothing.

I'm going to stay after with friends again today, and since I have some $$, I'm going to buy a League of Legends Riot Points card o:

I haven't had one of those since like Christmas so c:

I still plan on buying my next champion with Influence Points, though. Because I have a LOT of Influence Points.

Almost enough to buy a 6300... <_< ALMOST.

I should have that much by Friday :D

Probably sooner, though!

Ugh I'm almost out of comics to read at the school library.

Currently reading Watchmen.

This book is serious stuff, though. And no superheroes. Just masked vigilantes and a lot of rape and violence. I don't like it very much.

I want more stuff like The Runaways, The Young Avengers, etc, the new-gen Marvel comics, where PoC, LGBT, etc are represented very well :D

It's really sad that these groups are so under-represented, and when they ARE represented, badly, by DC. So it comes as a surprise when anything half-legitimate comes from DC, in my opinion. It's like, "Where were you hiding?!"

tumblr_lz7ngr7T1d1qdlh1io1_400.gif

I wish I could check my Tumblr from school.

But my Tumblr is all porn.

Sooo...

I'd rather skip that.

Ew ew ew I'm falling all sorts of behind in this class.

I had a really great idea for a league team yesterday.

But I don't want to post it... spoilers!

Anyways, it would thrash triples/doubles, and function well in singles.

Two choice scarfs though, hmm.

... Whatever, the league team I had before this traienr card had two choice scarfs and it did really well :3

I haven't much else to say, so uh, bye <3

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