That journal I only update at school~

[Yuki]

I LOVE ALL OF THAT MUSIC. not so big on blink 182 anymore tho, there kind of repetitive, although i still do love them. Ocean Avenue is like my favorite song, i know every word. Sum 41 is raw, same with New found Glory if you ever heard of them. they do this song called Hit or Miss and it is also one of my all time favorites. The offspring is also pretty good. And im in the same boat as you, i finally convicned my mom to take me for my temps test back in august like amonth before my 16th birthday but now that i know how to drive she refues to take me for my liscense. BLeehhhhh i hate it

[Yuki]

Okayyyy, page 6 and it's time to partyyyyyyyyy <3

Too tired for someone who slept a solid 6 hours last night. That's like 2-3 more than usual, so what the hell?

Today is 4/20 <3

Gonna fucking party after school.

This is my first block today though, so it's like hours from now

Let's see... I brought some Robitussin, Sickmen is bringing Triple Cs, and weed will be abundant @ the group's place.

I think I'll pocket some Triple C's and Robotrip/get smoked out.

I'm excited

Joan Jett []:

Mmmm.

Had so many party-like GIFs that it was hard to choose the two I just put up there.

btw fuck puberty

and being a man

First I just had to start shaving my 'stache

Then, my goatee

Now those two, my sideburns, my beard, and my neckbeard.

asidjodljiosadoiasjd

Burned myself straightening my hair this morning

OKAY ON TO ACTUAL EVENTS because I have stuff to say lololo things happened.

My last update was on monday, I don't think anything really happened...

Tuesday however, Sickmen showed up in the morning then disapeared before 2nd period.

That night, Maddie calls to tell me her parents have been reading her text messages, and took away her laptop because some things on the internet might be an "emotional trigger". Also apparently Etenburger had talked to her mom and said they should consider a transfer to a different school because since coming here "Maddie has been rude and abrupt". Uhm what the hell? No she hasn't. Maybe once, but that was because everyone AROUND her was being rude and loud so she told them to shut up and pay attention to the teacher, to which the teacher responded "Maddie! That was rude. Apologize!"

Bull shit.

Anyways also Etenbooger said that Maddie's parents should check her wrists because she might be hiding cuts under all her bracelets.

WHAT THE FUCK.

She's worn those since day 1 at Woodson, hasn't cut herself in months, and she just fucking likes bracelets.

Also that's pretty rude and abrupt of you Mr. Etenboob.

So I promise her I'll talk to him with her the next day.

Not an hour later, Ellie calls and tells me she tried to run away but her mom stopped her by taking the keys.

She's crying and I ask why and she says she can't stand her brother, he ruined her life growing up and he ruins it whenever he comes to visit.

Her brother's autistic and often ahs violent fits.

Also her parents are being crazy restrictive and she's incredibly stressed over cramming for her GED so she can graduate.

She tells me her psychiatrist had taken her off her mood stabilizer because one of the sideeffects can sometimes be headaches, and the reason she had to leave school was because of intense migraines that made it so she couldn't function in school and she had to have surgery for it.

So anyways I eventually calm her down and we decide to hang out Thursday.

LOL, Wednesday.

Kay, talked to Etenburg, explained how CRAP the CEDSS program is and talked about how it's unfair compared to mainstream.

I was surprised that he was as receptive as he was, which pleased me.

He said that he had a meeting to go to so he'd have to shoo us out, but he wanted us to come up with a few specific points detailing how CEDSS is unfair.

I came up with 12 bullets, and each had about 3 sub-bullets because they fit under the same category.

Showed him the last 3, and then the bell rang so I left to go across the street.

Ohhhh, across the streeeeeeeeet.

It was raining and Maggie was in detention so of course the group was nowhere to be found because it's centered around Maggie/Jeremiah.

Roach and I went to look around for them, and I asked if they'd be at Vicky's house (since Jeremiah had been living there, having been kicked out from his own.)

Roach says he's not to be seen near Vicky's house incase her mom is there, so I should go.

I walk up, knock on the door, and Vicky's mom (who I'd never met before) opens the door.

"Is Vicky home?"

"Depends on who's asking."

"Uhh, I'm looking for Jeremiah."

She looks at me with a blank stare. "Jeremiah does not live here, neither is he WELCOMED here. Leave."

And she slams the damn door in my face.

So Roach goes roaming for them and I head to McDonalds to see if they showed up there.

They didn't, but Emily's group is there.

Emily=scary 6 foot something blonde chick who supposedly gets in fights all the time.

Hayat=Obnoxious but nice to me, pretty preppy but she smokes weed/cigs.

Sarah=Reputation of being a huge slut.

Random girl=What?

Kay, so there are two guys from school sitting at a table not too far away and Hayat's like "Sarah, you should go ask if one of them wants to get sucked off."

I'd heard about Sarah's reputation, but I'd never seen it in action.

She legitimately stands up, walks over to their table, (one was out to smoke, so it was just his friend) and says,

"Hi "

"uh hi"

"You're pretty hot, you know that?"

"Uhh thanks."

"Would you like a blowjob? "

"... no thanks, I'm good."

So she goes out and asks his friend, who says yes apparently, though I wasn't outside to hear the conversation.

So they go to the guys bathroom and I guess they're doing their own thing.

(the rest of us are laughing our fucking asses off.)

The McDonalds Manager Person goes in like just past 5 minutes later and idk how but apparently Le Manager saw that there were 2 people in a stall, because the door slams open and we look up to see Sarah break some kind of olympic fucking record bolting out of that McDonalds and away from the parking lot.

It was the funniest fucking thing I'd ever seen.

^Too late for Sarah^

Anyways she and Roach left their backpacks (idk where the hell Roach disapeared to) so Hayat takes hers and I take his.

He's high as hell, (too much to notice his phone's vibrating apparently) so I have to call him to divulge his whereabouts.

He says to meet him at Jerry's Subs & Pizza, which is on the corner of the shopping center, opposite end from McDonalds.

So I walk all the way the fuck over there, and he isn't even there.

I wait for 5 minutes, and am standing up to leave when I hear my name being called, so I turn around and see Maggie!

She's just gotten out of detention, so I caught her up on everything.

I call Roach again and he says he's walking up from Marshalls so to go that way.

Maggie and I do so, and meet him around Best Buy.

He says he found Jerry/Danny/Jose/Alex and his friend @ Marshalls so we head that way & catch up with them.

I ask Jerry if he can get me some Robitussin cuz I wanted to try robotripping and I have money, I just need him since he's 18.

He pulls a bottle out of his pocket and hands it to me, and I'm beyond grateful(greatful?)

They tell me how much I should eat before/during (not much before, but I won't even watn to during) and what to expect, etc.

Should be interesting. I'm to take half the bottle.

I g2g cuz my mom's almost here to pick me up and I always try to distance myself from the group of grungy kids smoking cigarettes when my mother can see me.

I talk to her about how we're about to study punk in music sampler, and say I'm already into it.

"Oh yeah? What bands?"

"Oh, you know. Sum 41, Blink182, Yellowcard. They're not exactly punk but they're close."

She scoffs.

"That isn't punk."

And when we get home she gives me (and I counted) exactly 50 CDs of "real punk" to listen to.

Then she mentions she used to go to concerts all the time when she was my age.

I asked her about her first one...

"My friend and I had tickets to Jane's Addiction downtown, and her mom was gonna drive us. I was about 15 at the time. Problem was, it was a schoolnight and I hadn't asked my parents, because I'd decided to just wing it.

I get on my cute punk clothes (because I used to be cool) and go downstairs all dressed up, nonchallantly place my ticket on the counter and start rummaging through the ticket for supplies.

Your grandmother walks up, 'Where the hell do you think YOU'RE going?!'

'Uhh, to the Jane's Addiction concert. Duh?'

'Who said you could go??!'

'Dad?'

'FRAAAAAANK!'

'Hum?'

'Did you say your daughter could go to this concert on a SCHOOLNIGHT?!'

'I uhhhm, don't remember.'

'GOD DAMMIT FRANK, LISTEN TO YOUR CHILDREN WHEN THEY TALK TO YOU.'"

I laughed sooooo hard at all that. The dailogue and the fact that my grandpa has a tendency to not really listen and just grunt assent, so my mom's plan worked

So yeah that was cool.

Then I tried to listen to "real punk" and it hurt my earssss.

Anyways, come Thursday, I find out Sickmen had actually been invited to get high by some people he'd never talked to on Tuesday, so that's where he was. In the clouds.

On Triple C and Weed.

WHY THE FUCK DOES THAT NOT FUCKING HAPPEN TO ME.

And then I hung out with Ellie after school, she picked me up, we got lunch, went to the woods behind my house, and walked around for 3 hours and just talked. Then we went home and my mom was watching a VHS of some sort of video of ehr sophomore year in highschool.

I think it was just like a video-yearbook minus including every person and all that. Just the polls and questions and like clips of sporting events and the plays and interviewing people.

My mom showed up twice, and she really was a punk! This was during '88/'89.

Oh god the hair back then.

Oh god the fashion back then.

Oh gooooooood.

The video was really cool though.

My mom used to be a cross-country runner apparently.

Then she showed me a picture of her at the first Lollapalooza ever, she was in the newspaper with her friend.

And then I was on the computer before I like passed out from exhaustion after having actually excercized for once in my life.

[Yuki]

Hello, internet!

It's been what, seven days?

Currently sitting next to Vonnegut the signature person, who told me not to be a bother while they work, and is currently singing "potato" to the tune of Bohemian Rhapsody.

Sense.

Anyways.

Do you guys realize ho wmuch work I put into my journals?

It's especially hard when it's been more than 2-3 days since my last entry.

Like right now!

So much has happened, and it's such a struggle to remember it all

Okay, let's start.

I typed up my last entry the morning of 4/20.

Sickmen never showed up so I never got my Triple Cs...

BUT!

Met up with the group after school, downed half a bottle of theh tussin, and started walking towards Ryan's house with everybody.

I wasn't technically invited but they said I wasn't smoking cuz it might be too much with the tussin.

But when the tussin still hadn't kicked in 40some minutes later, (takes 30 minutes to an hour) they gave me a hit and Maggie shotgunned me.

And then I bought the last of the weed for $3 and finished it out of the gravity bong, which really got me going

I'll describe the experience for any of you who haven't robotripped before...

I stood up, tried to step over the log, and gravity was intense enough to send me sprawling back down.

My head was light and cloudy, and my head had a sort of tunnel vision in that I could only think on one thing at a time and it seemed like the normative thought processes we have where multiple thoughts fly around at once was beneath me.

My senses were stronger, my mind relieved of the opressive weight of day to day life, and my body not as functional as usual.

Someone patted me on the back, I fell, and it was the funniest thing I'd ever experienced.

And so on.

Ugh this half-period is going to end really soon so I'm going to have to pick this up later...

Anywaysss.

Then I started listening to some music using Maggie's earbuds and it was possibly the closest thing to a meditative state I've ever been in. It was amazing. And you know ho wmusic is always 10x better when you're high?

This was the song I had on repeat.

Orgasmic.

OkayThen half the group left for a party (they had more weed and were renting out a hotel room) and I had to stay behind because my mom was picking me up in an hour.

Roach and a few others stayed behind.

Roach sat at a table and i sat at the one next to him, and he invited me to sit next to him.

So I did.

Then he puts his arm around me.

I'm off my ass, but not so much to ignore where this is going.

Now let me clarify that Roach is very unattractive, 2 years younger than me, and a total burnout.

Not in my league, as elitist as that sounds.

Then he says, "You know what I hate? When people making fun of me for being bi..."

And then he snuggles up to me more and I say "Wow I love this song" and try to look like I'm tripping so hard that I'm oblivious so he'll back off.

Bell just rang, I'll pick this up whenever I can.

Back the next day AHAHAH <<

Is this the right size? mmihope.

Okay so I'll try to just keep on keeping on with where I was at.

Which is hard to do because I'm watching a movie in the other tab;;

ANYWAYS;

Wow yeah so I really had to replace the movie with some background music so I could focus on this.

ANYWAYS FOR REAL THIS TIME;;

This lady sat next to us 5 minutes later and we left, I forgot my backpack so she pointed it out and asked if we were okay, (I guess it was pretty obvious we were drugged up lol) and we were like yeahhhhh.

Then 2 minutes later (we were sitting outside on the benches) she comes out and walks towards us, and gives Roach his hat back because he'd forgotten it and says,

"Listen, are you two really okay? I'm a social worker, so sorry for intruding, I just can't help but to make sure you're fine."

We were like yeah thanks for the concern we're all good and Roach and I commented on how nice she was when she left.

Then Roach went home and my mom picked me up 20 minutes later and I played LoL with Matt and Tyler.

I don't remember much outside of those major events, other than that it made me very happy and it was trippy as fuck c:

Weekend. I forget.

Ohyeah, I got in my first car accident

My mom was driving, and of COURSE we had my brother and sister in the car <<

Idiot in front of us stopped cold at a yellow, we rear-ended him, 8000$ in damage to our car, but thanks to insurance, we only pay 500 >w>

It was crazyyyy.

Oh! And I visited Maddie in the hospital on Sunday

Her mom phoned me up to say she was going back to dominion (mental hospital I was in thrice) and wanted me to visit her while she was still in the general hospital cuz I'm her best friend at Woodson.

I brought her chocolate and we all ate pineapple pizza and when her parents/siblings left so we could talk freely I caught her up on things.

IDK if she's going to long-term or not yet, and it's not MY decision anyways so I've no way to sway it.

Anyways she's in dominion now so yeah.

Uhmmm mondayyyy. Oh! I went to a concert

My friend Ellie invited me and got the tickets for us online.

Bowling for Soup!

Also featuring: Patent Pending, Freshman 15, and Sandlot Heroes.

It was great! We were frontstage, could literally prop ourselves up and touch the bandmember closest to us if we wanted

It was awesomeeeee.

I danced a lot!

Then, Tuesday!

Uhh.

I don't remember.

I know I talked about the concert a lot?

Okay so backstory because I totally missed it earlier.

Remember how I borrowed Maggie's earbuds on 4/20? Yeah, well they broke. They just weren't working

So I texted her, and was like, "how much did those earbuds cost? I'll get you some $$ for a new pair."

"like $25 :/"

I'm like UHH BULL FUCKING SHIT THEY WERE 25 DOLLARS in my head but "kay" via text.

So Monday I bought her some new earbuds for 10 damn dollars at walmart and they look the same they're just from a different company.

I wrap them up in pink tissue paper and tie it together with a ribbon and write "To Maggie with <3" on the bottom.

I've done it! I've come up with the perfect plan.

The original ear buds were Skullcandy, and I know that though it's an expensive brand the tiny-ass earbuds are NOT 25 damn dollars.

She was just trying to get some extra $$ off me for drugs.

So I made it look like I put a lot of effort into the new pair, so she'd feel too guilty to ask me to give her the 25 for skullcandies.

HA.

It worked.

Then I offered to share a G with her the next day to drive home the "Hark is nice" idea.

Wed, Hottie didn't show up for school and of course Vonnegut decided to stay home and sleep, meanwhile Maddie's in dominion so I hung with the mainstream kids.

After schoo' we got some weed and went to the woods, and fucking hell.

This one guy had this tiny little gravity bong the size of a DS lengthwise, and definitely not as wide.

I'm like lol this will dish out some pussy hits.

NO, I WAS WRONG, SO WAS EVERYONE WHO THOUGHT THE SAME THING.

The smoke just kept coming and I coughed for a bit, which isn't as typical for me anymore since I've become somewhat experienced.

It was gooooooooooood.

Nothing significant happened Thursday.

Hottie was still out, apparently dodging ALP (Alternative Learning Program, AKA in-school suspension) which is funny as hell because the time he has to spend there is just going to stack up for truancy.

Vonnegut was actually thereeee.

Friday, I typed up the bit I'd already done before the bell rang!

And then later, I went to the clinic because I'd been having stomach pains all day.

Went back to class, and then to the clinic again because I was having trouble breathing.

Grandma picked me up from school and I slept in her basement till my mom picked me up.

I was gonna hang out with friends, DAMN YOU BODY!

Saturday is today hi bye

[Yuki]

Bump! Finished my last entry. I'd stopped earlier because I had to leave but thereyago

[Amethyst]

What the fuck kind of name is 'Dominion' for a mental hospital? It's too accurate, what happened to them all giving them happy ironic "peaceful" names like SUNNYDALE?

still, :c about that...

[Yuki]

Dominion isn't that bad! Break from life, really. Problem is, a lot of people (like myself) take advantage of the fact that you can't be held accountable for anything and have a lot of fun doing things we're not supposed to instead of trying to better ourselves. It seems silly now, but it's a looooot of fun while you're there c:

Though yeah, the name is... self-defeating <w<

[Yuki]

Short and sweet update while I have the time, seeing as I haven't put anything in here for over a month.

Stress. Stress stress stress. And anger and waking up on the wrong side of the bed and people pissing in my morning wheaties.

Also my anxiety's been acting up recently which is always a party.

No but really it's not fun

Basically because of all the SOL testing (70% pass rate, it was something like 95% last year? They really amped that the fuck up.) and finals, while trying to salvage grades that I need to pass various classes for the year-- school is a stresser.

It is a DAMN good thing Jerry's got the gravity bong waiting in his garage for after school today.

But yeah so that's why Ruby's down, for anybody who didn't already know.

I need to focus on school, and spend the time I have out of it preparing for more school/blowing off steam.

Or else I will kill somebody.

Also, I've just really not been enjoying my time on the server lately.

Entitled, rude people doing entitled, rude things (Asking me to put up ruby because they want at one of my leaders when I've got a really good reason not to, breaking rules and then acting like they're above them) and minimods.

God DAMN the minimodding recently.

For fucks sake people, it's one thing to tell a NEW person that we have a rule against chatspeak when there is NO active staff, it is completely another thing to jump on a regular for something when there IS active staff.

Like seriously, if we wanted you telling people what to do, you'd probably already BE staff.

But you're not, so we probably don't.

Ugh this would fit so well in Ranting Ahead, all of it.

Another thing I'm having issue with on the server are like, honestly, people being overdramatic/emotional.

I'm terribly sorry this and that happened to you!

I'm more than willing to try to cheer you up on the matter!

I'll even talk to you about it!

But under no circumstances will I pity someone who burdens a large group of people with their problems, especially when it looks like they're grasping at attention.

Sly digging so many people so hard right now, and not ashamed about it, either.

Photobucket is lagging

Anyways, as far as events go in my life, well, I'll list some things I plan on expanding on later when I don't have 6 minutes til the bell rings.

• Omar came back for the summer
  
• Recent drugular activity
  
• Raziel cheated on Maddie
  
• The internet just died so I'm saving this into a word document
  
• My week of dieting and giving up on it
  
• My Tumblr being deleted
  
• There's more but if I want to copy/paste this into a word document and save it into a file that won't be wiped I'll need to stop typing now.
  

[Yuki]

You'll have to excuse my lack of the ability to dig up detailssss, woke up off a benadryl-induced sleep and I still feel relatively slow after smoking yesterdayyy.

Heyoooo. I have... 21 minutes of class left before lunch.

So I decided I'd spend it with you guys!

Okay, so, let's see... first on my list of things I'd expand on is: Omar came back for the summer!

He finished his first year of college with a 4.0 GPA, and he's kept in shape, too.

So it's like.

I HAVE THE PERFECT FUCK BUDDY.

Intelligence, attractiveness, patience, kindness, and maturity are my 5 standards.

And he meets all of them!

asdioasdjas.

So happy with myself.

Yeah so we hung out and caught up before we got down to bidniss, which is cool, because I like talking to him.

We also took a walk in the woods which is always fun cuz the woods behind my house are REALLY pretty

Then yeah we went home and did what we came to do.

Next, drugular activity!

There's been a lot of this going on recently.

In fact, I'm out of cash because of it.

But that's kay, because at this point the entire crew owes me so much that I'll be getting smoked out alllll summer

Seriously doe, been smoking every Wed/Fri for the past 4 weeks.

Smoked Maddie out for the first time, too.

Her mom like has this crazy insane fuckign psychic ability to know everything about her life. I'm honestly convinced she found out how to read Maddie's texts.

She knew when she was dating Raz, she knew when Raz cheated, she knew when Maddie skipped, and she knew we were smoking that day.

Now just the day before, she'd told Maddie the only thing she WILL NOT tolerate is drugs.

Guess who was in the area and wanted to visit something like 15 minutes after we'd blazed up.

She comes up to us to say 'hello', and withing 30 seconds she looks at Maddi intensely, "What's wrong with your eyes?"

"Nothing"

"Okay. They're red though."

And she keeps on talking to Maddie and sort of looking away every time Maddie was obviously slower than usual.

Then she comes up to me, "You're usually much more talkative than this Anthony, something wrong?"

"No, I'm fine"

"Usually much more talkative."

Let me make it clear she kept on trying to look me in the eyes. Thank god I have bangs, mine were red.

She proceeds to talk to Maddie some more, and then, "Are you... high?"

"No!"

"-motherly 'We'll talk about it later' stare-"

I didn't know what was going on

Ooh!

Also, while we're on the topic of drugular activity;;

Jerry&Maggie said they'd try to get me a tab of acid! C:

I'm pretty excited for that.

I want to try shrooms more than I do acid (I want to SEE THINGS THAT AREN'T THEREEEE) but acid sounds great too.

I love these people.

Mmm some other bullets from the last post I can clear up quickly..

I did end up saving it to a word document server-side, I posted from music sampler later ;o

I accidentally deleted my entire Tumblr account instead of just my main blog, so I lost over 400 followers.

And all the friends I'd made/any sort of name I'd made for myself/over 3000 liked posts and over 1.6k posts I'd made. Also I was following 96 people and I'm only following 39 now because I forget some of the old blogs' URLs

2 minutes left, Imma just post and pack up to leave.

[Yuki]

Okay, here I am again, expanding some more!

Next on my little list... Raziel cheated on Maddie :c

Okay, first off, this guy cheated on ME just last year.

I told her!!

Second off... well, I explained it to a friend on facebook, so lemme copy/paste:

"she came back, the he did, yadda yadda, she stopped putting out for a little while and she starts hearing rumors that he fingered so and so and fucked some Asian chick a week later

and she's all, "eh, I'll just forget about it since I have no way of knowing it's true"

so when Richard tells her the asian bitch is at raz's place

she and I start walking over thre & richard & his like 5 middle school whores follow us cuz they wanna watch

raz walks out of his damn house with this (ugly) asian girl and says, "What's wrong baby?"

Needless to say they broke up. So she's depressed."

SO YEAH, I WANNA PUNCH 'IM IN THE FACE.

OkayNext:

Diet/excercise for a week and giving up on it!

Yeah, so I decided to search "Thinspiration" on Tumblr to see if people actually thought pictures of starving children were inspirational and made them want to be thin, and got really self-conscious.

NEEDLESS TO SAY, I freaked out and did some jogging in the woods then came home and did what totals out to lik 300 jumping jacks, 100 crunches, 25 push-ups, 10 burpies, 50 squats, 40 leg lifts, and around then I hurt too much to move.

"I'll do this every day now!"

Never did it again.

I DID try to diet though, which I broke really fast because I smoked, and well, inhibitions aren't as strong while high.

From then on I just decided to be more aware of what I eat, which I've kept up on (excluding last night).

Next: My Tumblr was deleted :c

I had over 400 followers because idk, which is more than like 80% of Tumblr

(Most blogs hardly get any at all, though it's NOTHING compared to some popular blogs, who have like thousands... but people with that many are a very small minority.)

And I had two blogs, so I was like, "Oh hey, I'll just delete one because I don't want to run it anymore and keep using the other!"

Unfortunately the blog I was trying to delete was my first one...

So instead of deleting the blog, I accidentally deleted my whole account e~e

Lost over 400 followers, around 1.6k posts, over 3k liked posts, and the 77 blogs I was following.

asdioajkiodsjdiosodjsidsdsp[a;;;;;;

Yeah so that was a sad event.

Hmm. What else is there.

Ooh, I smoked some weed laced with Oxycontin last Friday.

Shit was SO cash.

Instead of a normal high or whatever, it was like a high + Artificial Happy.

Oxy is an opiate, so yeah, that's what it's supposed to do, I guess.

I'd do it again, because I'll try anything 6 times.

I hardly have like any bud left though, and I'm strapped for cash, so I need to come up with $20 if I want another G...

Okay okay okay, last thing worth talking about.

I don't think they're going to let me back into my old school, which is the only thing I've wanted from them for 2 years now.

Basically I'm in an ED program which has smaller classes and an extra adult.

It helps kids stay on task and not get left behind and is less stressful or whatever.

But it's not at my base school.

Anyways, I wanted to come here originally because that would mean avoiding my stalker, and avoiding the people who were still bullying me about the thing with Thomas.

Hooray!

See, thing is though, Thomas moved last year and the stalker GRADUATES this year.

Great time for me to go back, yeah?

My teachers don't think so.

Basically, since I was admitted into the ED program, I got my own IEP (Individualized Education Program) team. They help to make decisions in my best interest, and I don't necesarily have to like those decisions.

Every IEP meeting needs my case manager (ED teacher who leads the meetings), another ED teacher, one mainstream teacher, my clinician, my counselor, my mom and myself. Also, if I was one of those kids who had issues with the law/coming to school, my probation officer.

They consider things my other teachers say on the matter at hand, and what the people at the meeting think themselves.

Anyways, apaprently I am the ONLY person in that room who is going to support me going back to my base school.

I DO HAVE A PLAN, THOUGH.

I'm going to be an adult.

I already have a list of things I'm going to say, which means I'm coming prepared.

Adult-like.

I already have good points to make, which means I've put some serious preperation into it.

Adult-like.

I already have a fallback all-or-nothing bottom line if they're still not convinced, which is really well put together.

Adult-like.

I have NOTHING to defend myself with concerning why I did so well the first semester and horribly the second.

Child-like.

That's basically where all the anti-Anthony's-wishes sentiment is coming from.

I've proved myself to be inconsistent, and I've let everyone know I don't care about high school, am not going to college, and refuse to put forth an effort outside of the bare minimum.

Basically they all say I'm smarter and have more potential than most kids, but since I lack conviction and consistency, I'm not ready for mainstream.

Not

ready

for

mainstream.

The education style I was in for 9 damn years, before I came to this God-forsaken place.

The place dubbed the "Retard center" because we have smaller classes.

The place where I have less friends than I did at Braddock because there are so many kids with social disabilities that I frankly don't want to deal with.

The place where, frankly, most people are pretty unattractive.

The place where I have to deal with people because I'm not mean enough to tell them I don't want them to talk to me because they make me uncomfortable and couldn't socialize with a sock drawer.

Fuck this place, man. I am SO glad I have classes/friends in the mainstream setting here. I just wish my other classes were that way, too.

Ooh, before I go, pros of going to braddock?

I can walk there

Not the "Retard center"

Hardly any social nubs in comparison

I already have friends there

Not nearly as stessful

I can socialize freely (stay after school every day with friends, walk home ~10)

Not here.