Genesis Posted November 18, 2015 Share Posted November 18, 2015 Hey backstories are always appreciated, makes everything a lot more interesting and gripping. Now that I have caught up with everything I am waiting with baited breath for the next chapters to Bessie's dairy (haha get it diary?) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragon116 Posted November 18, 2015 Share Posted November 18, 2015 Glad I can be of assistance As we've all said before, these errors aren't terrible. Even if they we never fixed this story would still make complete sense and be awesome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hiroki Tatsumi Posted November 18, 2015 Author Share Posted November 18, 2015 Rebellion Diary Chapter Eight : Together in the Grass They left. In no time , they left. But that was for the best. I need some time to be clear minded. I'm sitting down on the floor, still in Onyx's school hall. I'm watching all the students who took back their occupations, studying, fighting, that's their way to be. None of them are thinking of doing something else. I hate this, i fucking hate this. That's why i started this after all....To not be alone anymore like back in route 1.....Sigh...What am i thinking about...? I have friends with me, and i have Chubb...That jerk is pissing me off, but a part of me can't stop liking him. He sure is an idiot, but he has guts, and i'll never forget how far he went just to support me in my quest....Well, i won't deny it anymore.....I love him. I know what i have to do, i must tell him about my feelings toward him. I must tell him how pretty he is, and how brave he is, and how....how.... How...If not for him....I would be alone.... My eyes became wet at this instant...What's this........Tears? Am i really crying...? Ha...Ha..Hahaha.....Thought my heart was dry after all the times i cried before....But this idiot made me cry again...I'll make sure to mess with his emotions aswell then. Call it payback. Well, it's not time to be upset. Let's find informations about Florinia. Sooo....Florinia likes to set up sand strategies, what about her fie...-- WHAT !!? Electric type moves are less effective? Ow shit. Let's find another strategy. Who the fuck is yelling like that !? Can't even read in pea-- ....... I'm home Honey ! Oh...Chubb...That's you. Glad you returned.... We took a little break in a garden, we're ready to face Florinia now. I'm a little Scawwed, but i'll try my very best ! Hey, Fat cow. I'm sorry for the trouble i dragged you in against Fern. Let's cooperate from now. Guuuuuys, that won't be as easy as Fern since there is a very huge probl-- What, who are you? Oh, forgive me i didn't introduce myself, i'm Red_Chaos. Chubb talked me about your project, and told me you were an amazing leader. I'll follow you in your battle, Miltank. First girl in the squad beside me, welcome Red_Chaos. I was about talking about an issue, but i guess there is nothing we can't overcome. Together guys? Yaaaaay !!! We went to Florinia's battle field. She was waiting us, starring at me without any emotions in her eyes. To be honest, i was kinda scared by the disadvantage we have...But well, there is nothing that can stop bonds. I'm going first. Chubb jumped on the ring , facing Cacturne. He used thunder wave on the pokemon, avoiding the attack prepared by the plant, and quickly used flame charge against the thing. making it faint in no time. Chubb ! Go for it you're the best ! Thanks Reddy. Well...I did never cheer for Chubb before....Stimulating my partner is something i should do...No?...Maybe that would give him strenght.....Well.....That will be gross....But let's try. You can do it, Chubb. I trust you. The pokemon smiled, while the leader sent Breloom. The pokemon used thunder wave against the breloom, preventing it to use the toxic orb boost. He then came back to me. I'm taking a break, I trust you guys. Well, let's try something. Red_Chaos came on the ring and managed to place a nasty plot, however , the pokemon was punching too hard for Red_Chaos, she couldn't bear with the hits. In few time, she fainted. I rushed on the field, taking back the pokemon. I'll take the next, please rest a bit. ....I'm sorry...That field is shit.... Thanks to the pokemon being Paralized, i could place some Curses and tank hits thanks to those. I was finaly able to sweep the Breloom, with all those cures, no pokemon could stop me. I body slamed them all....Until Courgeist came. Bessie ! You can't beat that ! Come back ! Guys....You can't beat the field...I'll go... I stayed on the field. facing the courgeist. He was faster than me, making a will o wisp killing all my offensive advantage. I used roll out to get him, but that wasn't enough, i was struggling. Couldn't beat that.....In the end.....I fainted. I fainted from the Courgeist's burn. That is...Frustrating.... Chubb came for me, checking if i was safe...What a fool... Bessie ! Are you a fool !!? You can't handle that all by yourself ! Shut up.....I beated almost all the team....You can make it now, can't you...? You moron. Well...You could have some nice words sometimes. Well....I love you.....From the bottom of my heart. Is it nice enough for you....? With that said, even with the pain from the fight, i'm feeling lighter. I crawled until i reached my friends. They were all starring at me. St3ffo and Dragon help me to get up....That was Chubb's turn. I was starring at him. He looked back at us, and our eyes crossed. That was embarassing. He turned himself back to see the Courgeist. And in no time used a Flame Charge against the pokemon, making him faint instantly. Florinia sent her last pokemon, Cradily. St3ffo , Dragon, and Ra1den were scared about the huge plant. Chubb used Thunder Wave, paralizing the pokemon, but couldn't stand another hit. He lost. The rest...Is up to you guys.... Dragon, St3ffo. We're doing as i said, okay? You know the deal man, we'll win that ! There i go then. The pokemon jumped on the field. I was looking at him, wondering what the trio planned while i didn't listen. The cradily started to move. Dragon116 came on me and used an item, a Max Revive. What are you even do--- Hehehe....Shut up fat cow. Let me shine. The pokemon didn't move an inch, letting Cradily use a Giga drain on it. The attack threw the pokemon on the wall just behind us, making him faint. I was fully healed, i rushed on the pokemon, i have questions to ask to that foolish guy. What did you do... Just...Just watch.... St3ffo Dynamo !!! Cradily, you seems to be rude, but you can't resist to a cute Pachirisu's charm, Fell for it miss ! The pokemon started to use his charm attack, without using any offensive move. While he was taking the attacks , while i couldn't do anything to stop him.....Ra1den talked to me. Why are you looking so surprised? None of us are able to beat the thing. That's a monster. But if we work together..... St3ffo fainted. Dragon came and took his place, making the Champion use all her super potions.....And then...Fainted as well. Now, it's your turn, Bessie. You can't lose. You're bearing all our hopes with you. Leader. I was starring at my comrades....They all fainted, laying on the floor.....But they were all smiling at me....Why....Why....Why......Why did i have to meet such idiots....Fucking why.....I was able to tell something. But Chubb talked before i could speak... Hey Cutie....If you need a last reason to bear our hopes. Here it is. I love you as well, Bessie. Show me the strong girl you are, the girl i love. I couldn't meet his eyes with that said. I turned myself to face the Cradily. My eyes are wet, but i can still see things. I'm burning from inside, all the hope, and all the love from my comrades is warming me...I can't lose. I can't lose. I'm rushing on the cradily, using rollout , trying to gather some power. But i missed an attack, letting him use a rock slide on me. I used Milk drink to have some energy back and then place two curses while the pokemon was struggling with paralysis. I was slower, but stronger. I used body slam on the pokemon who couldn't scrath me more because of both curse and charms. My ability Sap sipper let me tank the giga drains. And finally, after 10 turns, i jumped high, against a Cradily that couldn't move, and used body slam to finish it. We....We did it....Urgh. With this...I Passed out. .............. ........... http://i.imgur.com/DY6Ngvs.png http://i.imgur.com/x5z9AbU.png http://i.imgur.com/qIeST9D.png http://i.imgur.com/VuowHsH.png http://i.imgur.com/BfDErOZ.png http://i.imgur.com/h2AYijr.png The squad. http://i.imgur.com/AAwJY25.png Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragon116 Posted November 18, 2015 Share Posted November 18, 2015 Error catches Chapter 8 First paragraph, second line "who took back their" should be "who went back to their" First pokemon talking, first Pikachu "Chubb talked me about" should have "to" between "talked" and "me" First pokemon talking, fifth Miltank "was about talking about an issue" makes more sense as "was about to explain our issue" Second pokemon talking, first Pikachu "Go for it you're the best" should have an exclamation point after "it" and "best" Fifth paragraph, first line "strenght" is spelled "strength". "That will be gross" should be "This" instead of "That" Sixth paragraph, first line "it to use the" should be "it from using the" Seventh paragraph, first "hard for Red_Chaos, she" should be a period instead of a comma. Seventh paragraph, second line " In few time" should be "In a short time". Eighth paragraph, first line "those cures" should be "curses" but would be better as "boosts" Ninth paragraph, first line "a will o wisp killing" should have "and" between "wisp" and "killing", or you could say "to kill" Battle pokemon talking, fourth miltank "I beated almost all " should be "beat" but would be better as "I almost beat the entire team' Tenth paragraph, first line " Dragon help me to" should be "helped" Tenth paragraph, second line "That was Chubb's turn" would make more sense as "Then it was" Battle pokemon talking, second Elektrike "There i go then" should be "Here". This an an awkward phrase because in general you use "Here" when referring to yourself, but you can use "There" when referring to yourself in third person. For instance, Bessie might say "There I go" (no then) when she calls herself a fool for admitting her love to Chubb. Battle pokemon talking, second St3ffo "Cradily, you seems" should be "seem". "resist to a cute Pachirisu's charm, Fell for it miss !" should be "resist a cute Pachirisu's charm. Fall for it miss!" with a period in place of the comma. Fourteenth paragraph, second line "I was able to tell something" should be "I wanted to say something" Sixteenth paragraph, third line "couldn't scrath me more" should be "couldn't even scratch me" I would be really surprised that you made it through this, but you solo'd Julia with one pokemon on your fighting run, and I saw an Eelektross solo Pyrous Mountain Solaris, so I know anything is possible. Still, very well done figuring a way through it! I like how this plot is developing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shad_ Posted November 18, 2015 Share Posted November 18, 2015 (edited) We're as powerful as ever EDIT: Double posting, sorry i thought i had edited this one instead of writing another post Edited November 18, 2015 by AndSoThereIsSt3ffo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drymus Posted November 18, 2015 Share Posted November 18, 2015 Nice work! Really like the story style on this run! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loyalitie Posted November 18, 2015 Share Posted November 18, 2015 F̶R̶I̶E̶N̶D̶S̶H̶I̶P̶ ̶P̶O̶W̶E̶R̶ ̶F̶T̶W̶ Good job with that Cradily! *Hi-5* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hiroki Tatsumi Posted November 22, 2015 Author Share Posted November 22, 2015 Well, i'll put this in hiatus from now. I'm sorry, but i have IRL issues that might not be fixed soon, so i wont be able to make this anymore. I ll be back soon, but i cant right now. Sorry guys... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shad_ Posted November 23, 2015 Share Posted November 23, 2015 Sorry to hear that Just take your time, when you'll come back we all will be still here to see the return of Bessie and the others Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genesis Posted November 23, 2015 Share Posted November 23, 2015 I will definitely still be here to hear the rest of the rebellion. Good luck with IRL, hope you're ab;e to get things sorted out painlessly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragon116 Posted November 23, 2015 Share Posted November 23, 2015 I eagerly await your return Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loyalitie Posted November 24, 2015 Share Posted November 24, 2015 No prob, take your time. Good things are always slow to arrive Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragon116 Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 You should do another rebellion, this time with Purrloin! But once you evolve you'll need to change the trainer sprites into a Liepard... Hiroki's not done with this one yet, and my guess is he'll be burned out from writing this mystery dungeon style. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shad_ Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 Hiroki's not done with this one yet, and my guess is he'll be burned out from writing this mystery dungeon style. Normally write one of my updates took me 1 h/ 1 and half/ 2 hs I don't even wanna think about how much took to him to mantain this style Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loyalitie Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 Sorry I had to do that I have problems Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hiroki Tatsumi Posted February 2, 2016 Author Share Posted February 2, 2016 Ahem. Well guys. Things passed by and lot of IRL Stuff to do. I wasn't in the mood to do anything in reborn and tbh i didn't even have time to progress in game. I deleted Reborn things, thinking that i would never return because i moved on. I'm sorry guys for not coming because of that IRL Stuff. But I'm Back, definitely back. You may like, or dislike, but bear with it, i'm back. Bessie will piss you more and more starting soon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shad_ Posted February 2, 2016 Share Posted February 2, 2016 OMFG YOU'RE BAAAAAAAACK Can't wait to see how this run will continue eheh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hiroki Tatsumi Posted February 2, 2016 Author Share Posted February 2, 2016 My Pachirisu is still here <3 I love you <3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shad_ Posted February 2, 2016 Share Posted February 2, 2016 Ofc i'm still here <3 When you were away i even found myself a gf: a female shiny Buneary! Well theorically she broke up with me to stay with an Electivire, gonna hunt some really soon, you can count on that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hiroki Tatsumi Posted February 2, 2016 Author Share Posted February 2, 2016 You'll hunt sigmund's one , i'll promise you'll win it <3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tomas Elliot Posted February 2, 2016 Share Posted February 2, 2016 Welcome back! I am SO glad to see you are ok. Believe me when I say, I was so worried after what you said the day that you left :/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wytch_doctr Posted February 2, 2016 Share Posted February 2, 2016 You're back? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH YESSS Good to see you again, buddy. Now where's my budew? :3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragon116 Posted February 3, 2016 Share Posted February 3, 2016 Wooo Hiroki is back! Now my special custom file won't go to waste I didn't say anything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fumble Posted February 3, 2016 Share Posted February 3, 2016 Welcome back Hiroki~ Still looking forward to more Bessie x Chubb! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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