Hi, Um...

[Lost Lore]

Honestly I believe that anything I really could have said has already been said, but better than I could ever hope to word it.

But I'm going to make an attempt anyway.

What you did was wrong, and honestly, if it was someone I had met in person, or knew on a more personal level, I may not be able to forgive them. I am also not the kind of person, however, who goes around hanging someone with a noose formed of their actions unless I believe what they have done truly deserves it. And this, in my honest opinion, does not. (Does that make me too nice? I've been called that before. Except, accounting for some of the things that I've said and done in the past, I do not honestly believe it.)

Do I believe that you have dug yourself into a pit far too deep to climb out of? No. Will it take time and a lot of effort to rebuild those relationships you've shattered, and climb out of that pit? Of course.

Will you ever be able to truly climb out of it entirely? Well, that is up to you. It is not something someone else can decide for you.

I am not going to call you brave for coming out, as you were forced to. Though you did at least have the courage to fess up to what you've done rather than running away, regardless of being forced into this position. I sadly cannot commend you for that, however. Nor do I feel that I have the right to condemn you. At that, I feel that my standpoint is more neutral than anything else.

Rather than closing this on a hostile note, I'm going to be polite. Welcome, Hunter. The past should not be entirely forgotten, nor dwelt on, only learned from. Always always.

[Commander]

Huk, I'm gonna be honest with you I kind of had a hard time arguing for keeping Hunter on as a Global Mod because of this. I know plenty of government people had to step down and removed out of office such as Nixon because of their lies and schemes. But anyways, I'm not really going to take a side in any of this for what happens. Whatever happens happens and can't really be changed.

[Lord Bagel]

To each there own I guess when it comes to this reveal and the Hilda persona in general. The only thing I'm confused about is how after being found out, we learn that hunter has been lying all this time about his true self, even going as far to be in a relationship as Hilda using fake pictures. Instead of being upset you are appreciating hunter and taking the ordeal as showing courage.

Not to shout out hunter as that isn't the point of the post (again to each there own), I'm just lost in confusion that instead of being maybe slightly irritated, the friends of Hilda are learning of a truth because of a long string of lies being unveiled and he is being showered with kindness and comments on how he is brave. One could see this as kindness on the internet and reborn which is great or one could see this as ignorance. Personally if someone lied to me for a year I would be angry and rightfully so.

I think this is a good time to think about how quickly things are accepted around here. Sometimes a healthy level of doubt is needed so that we can learn about the true natures of the people we spend time with. Not to prove liars of our friends but instead that we can get to know them better and forge true friendships.

Take this thread not as one person's mistake but as a lesson for all people who visit this website. Let us strive towards a truthful community and a community that is therefore free. Let's all be ourselves and be happier for it.

(PS. as my personal opinion on the Hunter thing not part of the previous things I've said. Lying about your entire life is kind of a big deal. It's about the biggest breach of trust that can be done and when it comes to positions around here trust is incredibly important. I didn't really know Hilda so I have no bias on the matter. Therefor my thoughts on the matter is that in a position like this people need to earn trust back, no matter how long that would take. I understand that at the beginning of the lie Hilda wasn't friends with anyone but creating a persona like this online has always been against my ethics. No one should hide who they are, even if they have the ability to do so.)

[RubyHeart]

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Okay then owo

Welp, all I have to do now is...

*pokes Hunter*

There, all done~

[Amethyst]

Lord, mobile... How does anyone make long posts on this?

I want to clarify a few things here. Hunter and I have already talked about this a fair bit, particularly since I'm the one who found out in the first place. All of that happened before this thread was even made. Obviously I'm hurt, but he's already apologized, and I believe that he learned his lesson. As such, personally I've already forgiven him. Regardless of the details, he's someone I care about. Right now, my priority is making sure he can feel comfortable being himself.

This is why I say that it's brave: I may have found out, but I didn't force him to write this. He made this choice, and I'm proud that he did. Yes, it's late, and it comes only after being caught. But I imagine that someone in such a situation would be scared of losing everything by telling the truth. I think it takes a little reassurance that someone will stand by the person no matter what, in order to give them the courage to go the rest of the way. I offered him a hand to help pull him out of this mess, but he still had to be the one to take that hand and make the jump. And he did. That's not easy to do.

While I understand the conclusion that the amount of sympathy around this instance might encourage future happenstances, I don't agree. This, and similar events in the past, did not happen because somebody wanted sympathy for coming out of a lie. It happens because someone made a mistake, and was afraid to admit it. Viciously bearing down on one person for it will not prevent people from making mistakes in the future. It will discourage them from ever coming clean about it. That's not what we want.

In regards to the auth, I repeat what was said before: the details of someone's name or gender do not severely impact their ability to maintain the community. That said I'm not promising anything one way or another. Any decision will be made between existing staff. If anyone has particularly strong feelings about it, you're free to message me. I would prefer it not be discussed here though.

[Rosesong]

May I also add in that Hunter's position on the auth team is not something regular community members should concern themselves with? It's a matter for the auth team to discuss and handle, NOT the entire userbase. I get that Hunter has betrayed, lied to, and hurt a lot of people, but this is not something we need worry ourselves with. The correct decision will be made in the end, regardless of whatever it may be.

Or Ame can ninja me...

[Chevaleresse]

I think I've decided that you'll just be a different person to me. Clean slate. No trust built up, no enmity either.

[mde2001]

I commend you for letting us know of this Hunter. Despite what others have said I think it is very brave of you to tell us all that you lied and come clean with us. I am obviously surprised to discover this but is does not change my opinion of you as a person. You made a mistake and that's okay. You're working to fix it now and that is what I believe is important. I don't know the details of your relationship with Ame nor do I want to as this is none of my business. You had a relationship with someone and whatever you had is between you two. I think that people here need to realise that your relationship is not their problem and should show you the privacy you deserve around it.

I don't really know you all that well. We've only been in parts of the same discussions a few times but from what I've seen you are a good person who is fun to be around and nice to everyone here. That is what I care about. The names and gender you applied to yourself do not change the fact that you're a good person and I don't believe you should be treated differently because you are now using a different name and have told us your real gender. It will take time for people to come to terms with this but I believe they will and it is a detriment to them if they are unable to rather than a detriment to you.

In terms of being a mod I am in firm support of you keeping your position. You are good at what you do and that is what is important to me in terms of being a mod. The analogies about politicians aren't really relevant in my opinion. You aren't lying to people to get elected by thousands/ millions of people with a large sum of money and direct control over their lives. You are the mod of an internet forum. While this is a major part of most of our lives it isn't like Hunter is a politician who could do a lot of damage to us in our real lives and effect the people around us. Hunter while he was Hilda did an amazing job as a mod and there is no reason to suggest that he will do a worse job now he is being honest with us.

So, you still have my respect and support Hunter and I really apologise if I ever refer to you as Hilda in the coming weeks. Please pick me up on this if I do and know it was unintentional.

[Maelstrom]

What amuses me are the particular people are who are flipping out and who aren't. The ones who I think were closer friends and those who weren't. And just others and their own... distinctive personalities and their places within the Reborn community. Quite telling, to be honest. Reflect on that.

Personally, this was a surprise/unexpected, but not a shocker.

To be honest, this development hardly affects me or the way I view Hunter. I'm more concerned about how it may be affecting some of the others around here. I'm still waiting for some key people's opinions on the matter. (And Ame herself posts as I'm typing, so that's the primary one down)

Anyways, let's get some basics out of the way:

This breach of trust is bad. But not that bad. I too am of the opinion that the revelation of gender does not suddenly change all the past actions as a moderator into all bad decisions, when they clearly weren't. One doesn't stay a moderator long if that sort of thing happens. It doesn't invalidate any warnings to someone for someone acting like a putz. I'm not a moderator anymore, but I do want the mods to hear my voice on the matter.

However, I would like to know the situation between you and the girl whose photo you used. Something tells me she isn't a stranger to you. As I think about it, I doubt she has actually been negatively affected by this (unless creepy stalker things). You should feel bad for choosing to put her and her image at that sort of risk, and you need to apologize if anything actually happened as a result. Otherwise, I think it would be respectful to the privacy of the actual girl in the picture if all of us simply forgot about it, like just another pretty face from a commercial. How you resolve this issue would tell me something about the sincerity of your repentance.

I also would like to know why you chose to represent your gender falsely. The vast majority of the times I've seen someone do that, it was to get preferential treatment or just to troll. And I despise that. I suspect someone(or two)-else here around of that, but I don't quite think the preferential treatment path fits the situation here.

I won't claim to tell the whole truth around here, but what I say about myself is the truth, even if I keep some things private. This is the internet, as others have pointed out. Plus, nondisclosure agreements with the army, etc. I learned from early wrongdoings as a kid that honesty and integrity are crucial to not only being a good person and staying out of trouble, but becoming a BETTER person. Owning up to mistakes is when we learn the true extent of the mistakes we make and receive criticism on how to prevent making the same mistake again.

Although I doubt you would misrepresent yourself the same way again... but... have a relevant vid.

"... you gotta be a straight shooter. Do ya got it?"

[Dark Desire]

I really hope you'll learn from this experience, I didn't know you as well as some of the other people that have posted their feelings here so I can't really comment on whether their disappointment or acceptance is justified

But it happens that one of the coolest person I've met at reborn went through the same thing here, after they came out it was pretty awkward for awhile but I think we all got to know them better, so I hope you continue to stick around here and help better the community

If you ever need someone to talk too, always know you can hit me up '-'

[Chase]

The girl in question is indeed a colleague of mine. I've already given up too much about her without her permission to want to disclose her name.

But I will have many the opportunity to, in person, apologize and make that situation right - even if nothing happened to her, and as far as I know, she's either a stoic or she has yet to have been affected by my poor decisions.

as for WHY - I simply truly didn't put much thought into it at all. I figured I would lurk and not ascend any ladder of rapport whatsoever. And I was wrong. Dead wrong. It's a random website on the internet. Surely these people won't impact my life in such a profound way as what would actually happen. Right?

Wrong. What I ended up doing, without knowing what I was doing, was dig myself into a sticky situation and not make enough of an effort to get out of it on my own.

The horrible explanation I can give, is that I didn't expect it to even matter what gender I was at the time.

[Pixl]

Look, as far as the auth status goes--Rose is right, but I'll say it more plainly.

As much as ya'll like to compare it to politicians getting impeached over dishonesty,

This ain't no democracy. Those in power make up the electorate here. Do any of you remember voting on any new auth?

Not to sound harsh, but it's true, we ain't got shit to do with that process, regardless of if we trust 'em or not.

[Commander]

Honestly, the whole mod thing should be dropped. It was discussed and what's done is done. That really hasn't anything to do with the topic at hand in the first place. It doesn't really matter what happens as it has no correlation to this (and really shouldn't). The only reason I'd see it as a huge problem if half the community was affected by this...which I don't think as many people are as you'd think. As for all that other stuff thrown around, this is how I feel:

Reborn is like one really, really big family. I mean we all aren't going to get along on everything and even get into huge arguments where we distrust each other. That doesn't make us any less of a family. So can you really blame people for forgiving what Hunter has done so easily? Nobody wants to stay mad at family forever otherwise it creates a mess for everybody. Besides, we all tend to like to stick together. I'm also sure everybody here as done something very stupid that they deeply regret so let's not try to pin it on a couple people or try to reform the whole community over it.

And I still stand that it's not bravery to admit the truth when you get caught. Words are merely words and being into writing I can tell you how true and untrue that is. It's the actions behind them that start to give meaning to them. It does take courage to truly accept the truth and to face the wrongs you have done. I don't think you're a bad person, Hunter though which is why I wouldn't hold any of this against you even if I was closer to you.

[Maelstrom]

It's one thing to keep things to yourself when joining something you feel like you won't stay at long. You say less, you don't straight up lie on something as... relatively important as that. And for that long? I really don't understand your thought processes at all. Or maybe it's just me, being proud of who and what I am. This hints... all of this hints at other issues. Time of weakness? There are still things you haven't shared. The more I think about it, the more exploitative it all seems and the more inclined I am to shift my personal stance from clemency.

As far as the auth thing is concerned, it might be GOOD that it is being addressed here so that maybe aspiring auths-to-be understand a little better some of the things that actually matter in an auth. Actions, attitude, aptitude for the task... It's not a thing to be taken lightly. Questions held by the populace that ask as to the competence of an auth... well it wouldn't hurt to answer the populace because something like this can affect the overall morale and attitudes towards the specific auth in question. Not that many members here would be so unreasonable as to doubt previous and future judgements just because of this, right? *cracks knuckles* "Hi, I'm actually a guy, but that doesn't change the fact that you were going 70 in a 35."

Auth are not given a position without rhyme or reason. All of you who have never been auth need to understand that. It is important that you are given reasons to believe in the auth selection process.

It was bad for me when I lost faith in the superiors appointed above me in the military. I would hope to avoid some of the same resentment here. You have to understand objectively where pure emotion might lead to irrational, irrelevant mistrust and unrest. A leader in the military doesn't have to explain their decisions- but a good one will, in recognition that the people they lead are men and women, not automatons.

[Kiozo]

I'll start by acknowledging some aspects of previous posts. Starting with your first.

It's funny to me how you said "uncontrollable monster"... because I think you're still unable to control it. Yes, you said who you really are, but you're not fully healed and nor will you be for a long time to come. I say that because it seems like the "new you" wants to be humble and down to earth, but the "old you" seems to say "I'm important" a bit in the post, even if indirect. To be honest; that was a huge vibe I got out of Hilda, "I'm important".

I noticed you also said yourself that you didn't decide it brave to do it in this fashion. I agree. I don't think it negative to tell the truth; but I don't think it brave to wait as long as you did. In fact, I think that the truth shouldn't be considered brave when it's something that just should be.

You stated that "your cowardice put you in a position where you had to lie and hurt other people". I'll address this shortly...

As for some other things I noted, from others...

The idea of "what thoughts were they? Hilda's or Hunters?" is a huge note for me that ties in above. I'll add that in shortly...

Some noted you were not quick to talk, vocally (as opposed to text). I noticed that too. It made me extremely skeptical since you seem quick to talk through text, at least when you're concerned. So I suppose that helped tip me off to this.

I do agree with a user that stated something to the tune of "If we can't be sure about this, we can't be sure about anything.". While that is true of everyone, we expect a certain amount of honesty coming out of the people that we talk to every day. To me, this wasn't a simple or small lie. You lied about the very fabric of your being.

Which ties me into what you had said... "I wasn't pulling off some grand acting job" - well yes you were. You lied about something very intrinsic to who you are. That's why we're here. That's why I'm looking at you like you have no control over this "monster" because in some text you're Hunter, and in some you're still Hilda. Just because the same body was playing the people, it doesn't necessarily mean everything is the same.

A note on you talking about trust...it doesn't have to build until catastrophe and then break apart to be rebuilt again. It doesn't HAVE to be that way. In your case, it was, but trust isn't linear like that.

Also, the situation isn't unique. I've seen it almost a dozen times by now with a first hand interaction with the person in question. It's seriously the same near every time, at it's core.

Final post address; I honestly do think this and the moderator status are intertwined, but I won't say more than that out of respect for the wishes. I don't think it's against anyone's wishes to say that though.

Alright, time for my personal thoughts and feelings about it. From someone you probably didn't consider a friend in the first place. Odd, I know.

So, there's a point in which an action like this could be ok, and could not. In most cases, it's really not. I had one person, one friend come out with the truth when they realized what consequences could become of it. They didn't start any relations, any serious role like a staff position, or other things from it. They didn't wish to do more than portray a character, like you would in an RP, and when they found out it was more influential they opened up. I had that person added on Facebook afterwards and found a lot of proof about things they had claimed before opening up about it. That regained trust and prompted forgiveness. In other cases, I haven't seen reason.

For your situation, I frankly don't think it was ok to go to the lengths that you did. I feel like you were aware of what could happen, I feel like you knew what you were getting into. It somewhat seems like you're in belief that there were wrong aspects; so I'll not go on that farther. Only time truly can tell that.

I feel like the "Hilda or Hunter" thing I pointed out a little bit earlier, but I want to touch on that more. Throughout the course of knowing you, I've had the less pleasant experience. If you felt that way back, I can understand. To be blunt, I felt like Hilda was a person that would let her power get to her head. I felt like "To prove a point" was the loose reasoning behind it, and that it wasn't actually justified when it was done. I felt like Hilda was a headstrong individual that honestly wasn't willing to bend many beliefs to maybe see what the other side had to say. I felt that Hilda was one that ignored if something was done about a situation to separate it, but instead was ok to talk or act about it while others were not allowed to do so without being considered wrong, childish or otherwise negative. I felt that at the end of the day, Hilda was willing to stick it to me just because certain aspects didn't see eye to eye and that was A-OK.

This also ties into the other piece. It wasn't just your cowardice that caused people to be hurt by your actions. You were a very headstrong, outspoken individual when you were Hilda. You had a lot to say, and it caused a lot of issue. I know I was hurt during the time I knew Hilda, and none of it was because of cowardice. None.

Which begs the question: How much is a lie and how much is true? Hilda was a lie, but was the headstrong attitude a lie? Was the person who was outspoken still going to be relevant in Hunter? You said "you were put into a position to lie and hurt because of your cowardice", but how does that make sense with who you portrayed? What can we now, now that you're Hunter, take at face value and truly define as well...true?

To me, you were a very aggressive, headstrong, forceful individual moreso than you needed to be, and not for the right reasons. You seemed to display some double standards, and they really got under my skin to the point where I wanted to leave a friend group permanently, only not doing so because someone forcibly dragged me back. All of these traits could be still relevant in you. I don't know that. If they're not, all I have to go by is that the new you isn't exactly a liar...but is at the same time? That's two different yet equally undesirable places to be in, I would think. But some people are willing to say the former, some the latter, and it's not really something I expect to know, even if I were active while I was around.

I guess in summary; my biggest concerns are;

Who are you? What traits from Hilda do you retain, and what can you actually shed and be Hunter about? It seems like you're split.

Cowardice isn't the only thing that you cut with. Sometimes, other things hurt worse and do irreparable damage.

This was a mistake. Whether forgiven or not, there's an issue at hand that needs to be fixed over a long period of time - not in a day or sentence.

I guess in closing now, I didn't really see us as those that got along after a while. Which is fine. I don't see any need to forgive you as I'm not the one who needs to forgive you. I don't think it's possible for someone of my stance to forgive you...for what you apologized for. My issues had stemmed elsewhere as I stated.

You made a huge mistake. You seem to acknowledge that. Time is needed to heal properly. You need to use it wisely, though. Only the right actions can heal, and sorry is naught but one of those actions necessary.

While I don't see any need to pursue any sort of new friendship with you, as I don't do much more than lurk at this stage, I do wish you the best of luck adjusting to the way things are. The character you can build from this should be stronger. It should follow you for the rest of your life as well. I hope you are straightfoward with people, and I hope that the positive relationships you had with people are able to be maintained. I might not have liked you, but I definitely don't wish you harm for your actions. You're human. You made mistakes. I wouldn't forget that, but I would not wish ill of you.

Sorry if this was too long, didn't make sense, or whatever. It's 3 and I'm out of it. If you read this far, thanks for reading.

[Tomas Elliot]

Now while I was asleep, this discussion has developed a lot, and in directions I am not really qualified to comment on. However, I would like to piggyback on something Wes said, to voice my opinion on an aspect that hasn't been really dissected so far.

Nothing about this case is unique. This happens with everyone that makes friends and a position in a community based on a lie. Where do you think you're at right now? This has happened here before and is nothing new.

So, I read that Hunter, while in the Hilda persona, started one or more "relationships", and people are criticizing the way he lied to those involved. Now, I know nothing about these "relationships" nor about the people who were in it but... How the hell do you start a "relationship" (something that, by definition, is based on trust) with someone you know absolutely nothing about, to the point that they can lie about their friggin' GENDER for so long? How the hell do you cultivate a "relationship" without ever meeting in person (because well, I assume one would be able to tell the difference between a girl named Hilda and a guy named Hunter, if they were to meet in person)? How do you trust so much someone you cannot even look in the eyes, specially considering that, as Wes said, this is the internet and cases of internet scams happen daily?

Maybe I am a bigot, maybe I am short-sighted, maybe I am speaking without knowing the full extent of things, but building a "relationship" on such basis seems like a very irresponsible thing to do. Which brings me back to the contraddiction I was dissecting with my OOTS reference; a topic in which the OP states he is going to be sincere by proclaiming himself a consumate liar essentially proves nothing, except the fact that this is the internet and everything could be a lie. None of us has any reason to believe anything that has been said in this topic (or in any other for that matter), outside of the concept of "mutual trust"... Which just took a massive blow courtesy of this very topic.

So again: how the hell do you build a "relationship" in such circumstances? Last time I checked, knowing the other person was a fundamental prerequisite for any "relationship", to the point that the phrase "let's try and get to know each other better" was a classic (if somewhat cliché) way to get a "relationship" started. And those who built a "relationship" with this person overlooked this very prerequisite, trusting a person they knew absolutely nothing about. How the hell do you do that? How do you up and decide to trust someone so easily?

Because make no mistake about it, this IS the case: none of you knew anything about this person. All you knew about him was what he said in the forum... WHICH TURNED OUT TO BE A BUNCH OF LIES. Which, again, means that "relationships" were built on essentially nothing. Again, that seems like a very irresponsible thing to do.

I know I am probably going to get some flame for this, but I just couldn't keep this to myself because... Well, because it strikes me as weird. Everyone is bashing this guy because he betrayed the trust people gave him, but nobody is talking about ON WHAT BASIS THEY DECIDED TO GIVE HIM SUCH TRUST TO BEGIN WITH. And maybe it is for the best that I, a stranger to such matters who barely knows anything about how things went, am the one to ask this question, because at least my vision of things is completely unbiased. I am not condemning Hunter for what he did, nor am I saying that those who trusted him are the ones to blame (the "it's your fault for letting yourself get tricked" cliché is just that, and I personally hate it). I am simply asking to know how things really went because, the way you people are making it sound right now, it seems to me that a lot of irresponsibility was involved, on both sides (because coming up with such a convoluted lie and keeping it for so long is an irresponsible thing to do, but believing in it on no basis is equally irresponsible if you ask me).

[Personthing]

I've only interacted with you a few times so I can't claim to know you well at all, and I'm sort of an outsider to the community in general so I don't exactly know how much this effected people, but from this thread and a number of reactions you really hurt quite a few people in the process of your fake identity. It also puts a pretty poor light on you that you only came to admit the truth after having being caught. It's a terrible feeling, no?

All that being said, I do somewhat commend you for making this thread without been forced to. It must be a bit relieving in a weird way, as I imagine that having a lot of your relationships based on this faulty identity must have been stressful, and now that it's been dispelled you're more free to be you. Any ways, enough rambling and making a fool of myself, I hope you can eventually regain the trust of those willing to give you a second chance, it'll definitely be a long and hard process.

Edited November 18, 2015 by Mighty Kamina

[mde2001]

I know I am probably going to get some flame for this, but I just couldn't keep this to myself because... Well, because it strikes me as weird. Everyone is bashing this guy because he betrayed the trust people gave him, but nobody is talking about ON WHAT BASIS THEY DECIDED TO GIVE HIM SUCH TRUST TO BEGIN WITH. And maybe it is for the best that I, a stranger to such matters who barely knows anything about how things went, am the one to ask this question, because at least my vision of things is completely unbiased. I am not condemning Hunter for what he did, nor am I saying that those who trusted him are the ones to blame (the "it's your fault for letting yourself get tricked" cliché is just that, and I personally hate it). I am simply asking to know how things really went because, the way you people are making it sound right now, it seems to me that a lot of irresponsibility was involved, on both sides (because coming up with such a convoluted lie and keeping it for so long is an irresponsible thing to do, but believing in it on no basis is equally irresponsible if you ask me).

Is it really any of our business to know how their relationship developed. Honestly I think showing the two some privacy would be nice here. While some of these thoughts have crossed my brain I think people haven't been asking them here because it isn't our problem. I'm not here to say what Hunter did in terms of developing the relationship was right or justified but I firmly believe that we should leave this between the two of them.

It is clear that Ame and Hunter have discussed this by themselves to a point where both of them are at least satisfied with it. I think we should show them the respect and privacy they deserve and not question their decision making or responsibility. This is obviously difficult for both of them and I think we shouldn't try to pressure them into revealing details or even discussing their relationship.

[Chase]

Let me get some sentiments straight.

While it may be difficult for me to be more down to earth, I can be just as headstrong without the pretty facade. Yes, I was ambitious and I had goals and eventually as the influence that I - not just the facade, but I - had in the community grew, I did want to be important. In my immediate sphere of influence my headstrong tendencies would be attributed to me just as you seem to attribute them to Hilda, Kio.

At the same time, I don't feel it's my place to be headstrong and ambitious at this point in time. This is an appropriate time to pick up the bricks, lay down my own pride, and try to fix the wrongs I've committed. I will defend myself only in the event that falsehoods are being spread about me because this time - I want to do this right. I'll do it with grace, and with understanding - and maybe someday I can afford to be a little bit more headstrong again - and apply your critique to it so that it doesn't come off as abrasive. However, Hilda's leadership style and my own are not different, save for the obvious growing out of childish pursuits and improving on temperament.

As for my personality hurting you previously. That's a separate issue I cannot but hope to make amends for - and I can understand if you want to write off my personality as Hilda's personality because I'm not as apparently prideful as Hilda was. This is a situation where being prideful would look incredibly stupid, callous, and would not come off as truly apologetic.

In other words, I have a mess to clean up and that's why you don't see my need to be important. Before I can even dream about being important or hold a feeling that I am in a place where I can make a goal to strive toward it, I have to be accepted. What this experience has done however, is remind me that my first goal when coming here wasn't to be important. It was to help other people and be used as a resource and not someone who held dominion over others.

Sure, I'd say that I want to be important, and I'd question most of you intensively on the subject. It doesn't have to be a global decree of importance, but there is a degree or instance that you want to be taken seriously. In almost every case. I'm sorry that I let that show in all of the times we've conversed with each other - but I'm not going to just say that was an act. You're catching me in a time of humility - where importance is hardly something I'm worried about.

---

Tomas

Several of these people actually conversed with me outside of the forums - which, I know you don't have me added on skype or join the Reborn showdown too often to my knowledge - so I understand the lack of understanding on your end - ...the people that were most seriously betrayed staged conversations with me in real time. The people that I've hurt the most actually shared moments of comradeship. With the most important people, it wasn't discussions you carried on - on your own time.

I'm not going to hold anyone else accountable - my focus here is set myself before the firing squad and lay it all out there on my end. I don't have any comments about people believing me. I care about that only because I was the one that put up the facade. Was I irresponsible? Absolutely. And then some. Afraid. Weak-willed. etc. You could probably substitute a lot of derogatory adjectives, curses, what have you there.

Long story short, I've talked to people much more in-depth than it may seem. That's why this matters. I don't particularly want to concern myself with how careless others were or were not when conversing with me because I have to look in the mirror.

---

Mael

I can divulge into that. I was at home, and I was embroiled in a family argument. About what, I don't really remember, but it left me in a poor mood, and that's when I decided I wanted to join the site. There's not a whole lot to go on there. There wasn't any motive to exploit anyone. There was just a scrambled mind trying to put themselves into a community without paying any attention, using any common sense, or most importantly, telling the truth.

I lied - and then I wore that lie like a badge instead of realizing leaving it on was a bad idea. By then, I let that lie become a facade of myself. I used that facade multiple times without ever flipping the switch, and for that I won't personally forgive myself for a very long time. Yes, it was only a facade - but that doesn't make my sins any less so. I can tell you that I wanted nothing to come of it, and that I felt trapped and in a losing battle between feeling safe and using better judgement. I can say that I didn't want to take this any further than that.

It's not up to me to make you believe, it's up to me to tell the truth. The believe onus is on you all.

[star-kin]

...

I guess...you're still you. At least that's what I hope, please tell me that your personality, the way you talk, the way you treated everyone, your kindness...

I hope that wasn't part of this whole act, too.

If it wasn't, then I'm fine with this...'cause I consider you a friend here, whether if it's mutual or not. And if it was part of this charade, then you are a whole different person to me, we will have to start over...I'll try to not be biased.

while I may be fine of this, I'm not sure other people are, Hunter. And I'm aware that you'll take a while to recover from all of this, hell, I don't even know if you'll even stay here any longer. But I'm always supporting you, regardless.

That's all from me, but this'll most likely be irrelevant to you, anyways.

[Guest]

Sorry angry lemon, placeholder is being abandoned.

I honestly wish I could say this came as a surprise, but it ain't. I'm gonna level with you, fam. You've done nothing brave by making this thread. It was purely defensive in nature. I'll commend you for apologizing, but even then it seems very much like you're going through the motions. I don't ever expect for anyone around here to fully trust you, especially because of the position you held within the community. If you're really as devout a Christian as your persona, then you know that god forgives. Quite frankly, that's the only place you're going to be able to get true forgiveness.

I've got much more to say, but I'm not going to go forward with it. At least for now.

This, but, you're lucky that you are in a community that people will, in fact, forgive you and move on with it.

You've hurt someone I consider a dear friend. You won't find forgiveness here. This has happened too many times

[Chase]

I've put up with way too many instances of stress to be one to have faked kindness. You don't even need MY word with regards to the real way I treat others. The fact that people are coming to my defense (somehow) in this thread should be telling that my care for this community isn't fake.

I will try to be a good person from here on out. I happen to think that good person will act a lot like Hilda did, and I happen to think that I will fail at times, inevitably - and I can only hope that my failures aren't distinguished into me "playing Hilda" as they are one in the same.

Regardless of what happens, I'm going to have bad days at the office, but it won't look much different from Hilda's bad days at the office. Nor will the routine ones. For those of you clamoring for my "impeachment" - I mean "office" in being a part of this community in general and not to smear you all in something that quite honestly isn't there.

[Tomas Elliot]

Is it really any of our business to know how their relationship developed. Honestly I think showing the two some privacy would be nice here. While some of these thoughts have crossed my brain I think people haven't been asking them here because it isn't our problem. I'm not here to say what Hunter did in terms of developing the relationship was right or justified but I firmly believe that we should leave this between the two of them.

It is clear that Ame and Hunter have discussed this by themselves to a point where both of them are at least satisfied with it. I think we should show them the respect and privacy they deserve and not question their decision making or responsibility. This is obviously difficult for both of them and I think we shouldn't try to pressure them into revealing details or even discussing their relationship.

Of course of course. You are absolutely right but, well, when I start wondering about something I tend to obsess over it, so I just had to ask. Ido realize that it was probably pretentious on my part to do so but hey, that's the way I am.

In that, I do thank Hunter for addressing my post and explaining, at least partially, the situation.

[Guest]

The girl in question is indeed a colleague of mine. I've already given up too much about her without her permission to want to disclose her name.

But I will have many the opportunity to, in person, apologize and make that situation right - even if nothing happened to her, and as far as I know, she's either a stoic or she has yet to have been affected by my poor decisions.

as for WHY - I simply truly didn't put much thought into it at all. I figured I would lurk and not ascend any ladder of rapport whatsoever. And I was wrong. Dead wrong. It's a random website on the internet. Surely these people won't impact my life in such a profound way as what would actually happen. Right?

Wrong. What I ended up doing, without knowing what I was doing, was dig myself into a sticky situation and not make enough of an effort to get out of it on my own.

The horrible explanation I can give, is that I didn't expect it to even matter what gender I was at the time.

Does it really matter if you ascended any ladder of rapport whatsoever? Many people come here and remain relatively unknown for a long, long time and then leave, come back again and repeat. You potentially jeopardized the safety of your colleague by posting her picture on the internet, posing under the alias and persona of Hilda.

For her sake, I hope nothing has happened to her.

So, let me get this straight though. While doing this, while catfishing people.

Because, let's face it, it was catfishing.

You never thought about it once?

Running under this identity for more than one year, and you never stopped and thought

"Man, maybe I'm doing something wrong, maybe I should stop?"

Also, how could you not know what you were doing? You knew very well, definitely out of all of us, you knew the most that you were making a fake alias, pretending to be a girl. You knew very well what you were doing because you did it for over a year, and ruined many people in the process. I hope you understand that. For that matter, nor did you even try to dig yourself out of it, otherwise the effort would have been apparent.

You knowingly dug yourself into a situation that you were comfortable with, and when things got heated, you pulled out. That's the fact. You made no conscious decision to stop or dig yourself out.

So, not enough effort? No. You made NO effort, up until now.

Finally.

What do you mean, you didn't expect gender to matter? Are you serious?

You enter a website, want to sign up, you create a username - and then you enter your gender.

M/F/Non-Binary/Not Telling (in the contextual sense of Reborn)

Gender matters everywhere. It's a hot topic of debate right now, if it's a political debate, it matters on the internet too.

Gender matters. You knew it mattered. Especially in a community like Reborn. You made yourself a girl, you came in here and catfished everyone. You fooled everyone. Everyone. Everyone here is a fool for believing you. You are a fool for believing you, too.

You damn well knew it mattered. You did this purposefully. There is no shame in entering as Hunter, or whatever your name is. There was no shame. You chose a different route, and as a result hurt people. People that matter to other people here, including myself.

You are not brave for making this post. You hid under a shell of lies and deceit and come out with the truth.

Ask yourselves this.

When you lied to your parents as a youth, about something big. We all did it, we all had that big lie that we told our parents. When they found out, they punished you.

This is a big lie too, and Hunter is escaping virtually unscathed. All of you people are too kind, or too spineless to admit that you're even remotely upset about this, so you go the forgiveness route.

"Oh no, everything's okay. Mistakes happen!"

Yeah, they do. This was intentional though. Everyone here knows it, and I don't know how you can find logical capacity to forgive this person.

I've forgiven the first ten thousand times this has happened here, largely because no one that I cared about dearly was affected.

You crossed that line and you hurt someone that I have known for years, and that I care about and often look out for, and am very good friends with.

If you didn't do that, I wouldn't be making this post.

But you did, so here I am.

The fact of the matter is, is that you intentionally lied. You knew so well what you were doing, and you manipulated everyone in here because of your frequent cute postings of pictures. It fooled many. The fact that you never spoke in a Skype call was the major warning sign. Let's be honest here. You never did, you always came up with some bloody excuse for it. You catfished too many, but when you caught the big fish you realized you caught more than you could eat, so you were forced out here to do it. You definitely didn't do this on your own accord. You were found out.

You don't deserve these people's forgiveness. I don't even know why they're showing support for you on this issue at all.

You lied to everyone, you hurt people, you hurt their friends, you hurt my friends, you've pissed many people off, and you're just another statistic now.

Congratulations.

You're an A grade asshole.

You people, who are supporting. You should know better. Throw your support around all you want but at the end of the day they hurt someone we all like and look fondly at.

Remember it.

Oh, and auth. If you delete this post, and warn me. Just know that you're bias, solely because this is a public forum, open to opinion. This is my opinion. By removing my opinion, you are openly oppressing me in favor of saving face and feelings of another person.

I'm over this shit happening, but this has happened and you've hurt someone close to me

I will never forgive you, and neither should anyone here.

[Xiri]

Okay... I'm not too heavily involved in the Reborn community (although I would love to, but I'm a little shy) - so I may be speaking out of hand here - but I'll express my opinions. I haven't got the faintest idea of what exactly happened that made you reveal your true identity - and we never actually had a real conversation - but I know the feeling of impersonating someone.

I won't go into details - but there was a time where I chose to act as a different person. At that time, I was afraid of the people in that particular community - and naturally, I didn't want them to know more about me. Hence I chose to portray myself with a different name, a different birthday, different school, different family members etc. I really thought I wouldn't hold the relationship with that community for a long period of time, so I didn't really regret the decision I made back then. However, I found myself growing more attached to that community - and I began to feel guilty of my actions. But being a naive 20 year-old person back then, I really didn't think it mattered too much - and thought if I told them what my real self is, they would be surprised but that would be it. I had no clue that those kind, always-smiling people would instantly turn their backs on me when I confessed my true self- stating that I have lost their trust by lying when they, unlike me, revealed their true self from the very start - trying to earn my friendship. Strictly speaking, I was devastated in the beginning, but I learnt that I was alright without those people beside me after all. Call me cold - but that seems to be who I am. Nevertheless, I vowed that I won't make the same mistake, ever again.

I do understand why you have chosen to live under a different alias. I'm guessing you felt the same way as me back then. But posting pictures of someone that isn't you, and going further to claim that the person is you is clearly wrong. I also understand that some members of the community that were very close to you will be pretty hostile towards you for now - and you will have to endeavor to earn back their trust. Some may take months or even years to speak with you again - but I'm sure you can achieve that because I can sense sincerity in your posts in this thread - and I think you are willing to fix your mistakes. Good luck.