Hi, Um...

[Raindrop Valkyrie]

I'm happy your out with this, I'm glad the charade is over with and everybody can start to heal, hopefully.

But I'm not going to give you sympathy like a lot of people here, maybe they're better than me for it, maybe they're not. I can't understand how you can wrap yourself in so many other's lives, to start relationships with people that you know you cannot keep up because somebody's eventually going to find you out. Whether they have their heart broken when they meet you for the first time, or if your avoidance of them finally tips them off and they discover you for what you are. I'd call you courageous for coming out with this if you weren't practically forced to. You didn't have to apologize, of course, so good job with that, but the fact that a lot of people are so accepting of this kind of behaviour is why it, in my opinion, is allowed to happen so frequently.

This kind of thing isn't something you just "get over," knowing that someone who was so close to you wasn't even being honest about the most basic of things like this can really put your entire relationship with them in a different light. If someone can't be honest about themselves, what should make you believe they were honest about anything else? Right or wrong, trust issues last lifetimes because of situations like this. Anyone telling people to "just get over it" are nothing but beyond disrespectful.

Don't get me wrong, though. I don't hate you for this, almost everyone deserves forgiveness in time as long as they earn it. I sincerely hope that you can.

Just so you're aware and others. I definitely don't condone it. It don't think it's the right thing to do nor do I think forgiveness is something to be handed out on a silver platter. It doesn't work that way.

For me, I didn't have many bridges to burn. I wasn't the closest to Hunter in the time he was under this guise or false self. To me, I wasn't hurt because there wasn't a lot there to be hurt. I cannot speak for others as I've said and I'll hold to that. However, we're people. People do dumb things in search of acceptance. We don't think people could possibly care for us for who we really are. And in a moment of weakness, we do these things and they happen. Maybe we don't all do it, but some certainly do. I don't think there was malicious intent there. Does this excuse it? No, certainly not. However I cannot hate them for doing this. This doesn't mean I condone it, nor do I find these actions to be reasonable. But, we're people, we do these things and we mess up. We make big mistakes sometimes. I do not damn someone on a single mistake despite how big of one it may be and despite my personal feelings. I've made plenty of mistakes in my time, but I've not be damned for them.

Sympathy does not go hand in hand with forgiveness nor condoning of ones actions. Because I can understand it, doesn't mean that I condone it or support it. Nor does me saying that Hunter is brave mean that either. The reason it's brave is because it's just as easy to leave and never ever try to repair the damage you've done to those people. It's easy to never feel guilty for even a second. You can walk off no strings attached and be gone from the anger and the sadness and the hurt you caused. But sticking around for the aftermath despite knowing that people probably will turn against you at first and lash out at you etc... is in some way brave. Does this mean that revealing the lie is? No. Does this mean that doing what was done in the first place was? No. Does this mean waiting til the fact that someone caught them first to reveal was? No.

I'd like the things I say to be clear. You don't need to agree with me by any means. But, know my stance in it's full and in my own words. I do wish that over time things can heal and the damage that was done can repair. However, that's not up to me. I was mostly an outsider in this. Therefore, well I can definitely understand where those saying much different things than I am coming from. I understand how much trust was violated here and how it's not just going to be an easy road for some. Believe me I really do. However, personally I cannot damn a person entirely on this basis. I don't agree with what happened, nor do I think waiting this long was good. Understand that while I may be Sympathetic it doesn't mean I'm soft or that I forgive easily. It doesn't mean that I condone the action. It means merely that I understand those feelings. Myself, I've had these issues as well. However, I took a very different path in being as me as I could be. Not being abashed at being who I was because on the internet well... people will only believe so much even if I'm am fully honest. Here I can be me and not really have people judge too damn harshly. For me this is the right course and probably one that if everyone could take... that they should. However, I'm not any of you, nor am I Hunter. For you I cannot speak. Just understand the words I say. In time, if things are meant to work out, they'll work out. If they are not, they won't.

[Hexagoen]

not gonna make this long. got places to be, people to meet. that aside, i want to say this.

honestly, i don't care if you lied to us, hunter.I don't care how cowardly you were back then. you helped me, as we have and will continue to help you.

As i read through the logs long ago, i was and am inspired by your intense faith in christanity. it helped me reestablish my faith in a religion that i had almost abandoned.

thank you hunter, for helping me. and for that, i and the rest of reborn will continue to support you!

cya around sometime!

[Chevaleresse]

I'm not really sure how to respond to this.

On the one hand, while we've had our differences and I'm not certain I could call you a friend, I still have a great respect for you intellectually.

On the other, this is, to be blunt, extremely scummy, and runs contrary to my morals and (I thought) yours as well.

I need time to think about this.

[Tacos]

Just so you're aware and others. I definitely don't condone it. It don't think it's the right thing to do nor do I think forgiveness is something to be handed out on a silver platter. It doesn't work that way.

For me, I didn't have many bridges to burn. I wasn't the closest to Hunter in the time he was under this guise or false self. To me, I wasn't hurt because there wasn't a lot there to be hurt. I cannot speak for others as I've said and I'll hold to that. However, we're people. People do dumb things in search of acceptance. We don't think people could possibly care for us for who we really are. And in a moment of weakness, we do these things and they happen. Maybe we don't all do it, but some certainly do. I don't think there was malicious intent there. Does this excuse it? No, certainly not. However I cannot hate them for doing this. This doesn't mean I condone it, nor do I find these actions to be reasonable. But, we're people, we do these things and we mess up. We make big mistakes sometimes. I do not damn someone on a single mistake despite how big of one it may be and despite my personal feelings. I've made plenty of mistakes in my time, but I've not be damned for them.

Sympathy does not go hand in hand with forgiveness nor condoning of ones actions. Because I can understand it, doesn't mean that I condone it or support it. Nor does me saying that Hunter is brave mean that either. The reason it's brave is because it's just as easy to leave and never ever try to repair the damage you've done to those people. It's easy to never feel guilty for even a second. You can walk off no strings attached and be gone from the anger and the sadness and the hurt you caused. But sticking around for the aftermath despite knowing that people probably will turn against you at first and lash out at you etc... is in some way brave. Does this mean that revealing the lie is? No. Does this mean that doing what was done in the first place was? No. Does this mean waiting til the fact that someone caught them first to reveal was? No.

I'd like the things I say to be clear. You don't need to agree with me by any means. But, know my stance in it's full and in my own words. I do wish that over time things can heal and the damage that was done can repair. However, that's not up to me. I was mostly an outsider in this. Therefore, well I can definitely understand where those saying much different things than I am coming from. I understand how much trust was violated here and how it's not just going to be an easy road for some. Believe me I really do. However, personally I cannot damn a person entirely on this basis. I don't agree with what happened, nor do I think waiting this long was good. Understand that while I may be Sympathetic it doesn't mean I'm soft or that I forgive easily. It doesn't mean that I condone the action. It means merely that I understand those feelings. Myself, I've had these issues as well. However, I took a very different path in being as me as I could be. Not being abashed at being who I was because on the internet well... people will only believe so much even if I'm am fully honest. Here I can be me and not really have people judge too damn harshly. For me this is the right course and probably one that if everyone could take... that they should. However, I'm not any of you, nor am I Hunter. For you I cannot speak. Just understand the words I say. In time, if things are meant to work out, they'll work out. If they are not, they won't.

I may not have expressed it well in what I wrote, but this is basically what my thoughts were and what I would intend to write if I were capable of writing in such quantity and detail.

[Chase]

Firstly, and this for those that for whatever reason choose to believe me - I don't want to be called brave. I didn't post this up for some free upvotes and everyone to think "Gosh, he's so human, it's beautiful." - NO. NO. NO.

Secondly, that's how trust works. You build and build and build and build and then you do something incredibly catastrophic and you have to start all over again. Those of you that are apprehensive, or hated me from the beginning or what have you, you're absolutely right to put me under the magnifying glass.

Thirdly, as much as I've allowed my actions to hurt me, I'm not oblivious to the pain I've caused others and you should all know this. Mercy is far and away my least potent spiritual gift. If there are those of you that want me to suffer for the pain I've caused - don't worry. I will for a very long time. Take solace in that.

I actually was banking on more of you to crucify me than be forgiving. While this -has- happened before my case is unique in that I was fostering friendships and relationships and it eventually would cause some severe damage to them all. And I have to live with it.

Do I want you all to believe me? Absolutely? Should you? That decision isn't mine to make. I've sought out what the best course of action was from others and right now it seems sticking around - for them - would be that option. I don't mind leaving. I don't staying after the interview for just desserts, name calling, rule breaking at my expense, and I came into this knowing that I had a potential to lose everything. With some of you, I have. As I should.

[Neo]

Sorry angry lemon, placeholder is being abandoned.

I honestly wish I could say this came as a surprise, but it ain't. I'm gonna level with you, fam. You've done nothing brave by making this thread. It was purely defensive in nature. I'll commend you for apologizing, but even then it seems very much like you're going through the motions. I don't ever expect for anyone around here to fully trust you, especially because of the position you held within the community. If you're really as devout a Christian as your persona, then you know that god forgives. Quite frankly, that's the only place you're going to be able to get true forgiveness.

I've got much more to say, but I'm not going to go forward with it. At least for now.

[Vinny]

Hmm. I can say I'm an outsider on this as well. It's probably why this doesn't affect me as much as the other people you've interacted with around here.

However, I will say that you won't get any sympathy from me, nor hate. You should probably focus on what you're going to do about the people more affected by this. I'm just one of the bystanders watching as this lie crumbles.

I like to think of myself as a nice person, but I think I have my own limits. If this happened to someone I knew very closely, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to forgive them. At least, not so easily.

I'd congratulate you on being honest, but that only happened because you were caught, hmm? So I guess I really have nothing to say to you.

Sorry, but you're not going to get any support from me. But I doubt you were expecting it, anyway, eh?

Just remember: Wounds, wounds heal. But scars still remain the same.

Do have a nice day, Hunter.

[Wes]

I actually was banking on more of you to crucify me than be forgiving. While this -has- happened before my case is unique in that I was fostering friendships and relationships and it eventually would cause some severe damage to them all. And I have to live with it.

Nothing about this case is unique. This happens with everyone that makes friends and a position in a community based on a lie. Where do you think you're at right now? This has happened here before and is nothing new.

[Chase]

Debating my position with this community would be pointless as I'm sure very near none of you would believe me - but I earned this position by wanting to help other people. That hasn't changed despite my face. There's no personal gain from being an auth that is worth hurting others this much.

Those that choose to stick with me will know that I wasn't pulling off some grand acting job - but again, if one detail is false, what's the say everything isn't. Right?

I understand - but I will defend my intent even if I'm the only one doing so.

[Neo]

I've got a question. Why haven't you been stripped of your auth title? Nothing personal, but I don't think that after this you're fit to continue holding the position. (Granted quite a few of y'all ain't, but that's another topic for another day)

[Godot]

Why would that be a reason to lose auth privileges?

[Chase]

The sentiment seems to be that this issue is indeed separate from my ability to do my job here.

If that ability is compromised, and it very well might be, action will be taken accordingly, be it a resignation or intervention.

[Commander]

I'm not really sure what to say to this as I was never really close to you. Honestly, the only people I'm close to on here are probably the RP players and that's about it. I know that some people treat this as a haven so I suppose I can understand why they are more upset and effected by this than someone like me is. Pretending to be someone you're not is not the worst thing in the world. People pretend to be the opposite gender on the internet all the time. The reason why this is an issue is that you let it spiral out of control. After everything is said and done though, there was one person who was hurt the most: you, Hunter.

All you're really doing here is admitting defeat and fessing up the truth. It doesn't make you any more cowardly before. I know the fears of failure and rejection can get strong, but you just have to accept reality and admit the truth to yourself. How long did you think that lie would last? I know any time I lie that people will figure it out sooner or later so usually lying delays the truth. If you would've went to someone or tried fighting back on this, maybe I would've shown some sympathy. Nothing really has changed from this. It's what you do down the road what will.

Do I trust you and everything you just said is the truth? No. Am I going to hold any of this against you? No. If I let stuff like this get to my head, I probably would've ended up committing suicide for all the hell I went through. Holding a grudge against you would simply only be hurting me. I mean sure I would talk to you still and kind of act like normal Commander (whatever the hell that is) because this really hasn't affected me. Still, I honestly hope you got something out of this and perhaps try to better yourself in the future. Personas are fun (aka RPing), I will not lie, but not when they start to become a reality.

As for the mod thing, I haven't seen Hunter abuse his power as a mod nor go out of his way to threaten people. He does a decent job at moderating so I'd rather keep him there than replace him with somebody people might despise. That ain't my territory though so I'll stay out of it.

[Ice Cream Sand Witch]

I understand that you didn't know you'd be here for so long, or become as attached to the community as you are now. A lot of people probably have that mindset when they first join: they're only here to ask a question or show appreciation or whatever, and never imagined sticking around for months or years. But there should've been a certain point way earlier on than this when you decided to stay and get more involved that you explained "I'm not Hilda, I'm Hunter". And you definitely shouldn't have used someone else's images and claimed they were photos of yourself; you have no idea how doing that could effect the actual person's reputation and relationships. I don't understand why you used the "Hilda" alias to begin with? Like I said, I get that you didn't expect to be as involved in the community as you became, but what was the point of ever pretending to be Hilda in the first place?

I don't/didn't know you very well. You replied to a few of my threads, and I replied to a few of yours, but we didn't speak on a personal level. So I'm not really in a place to decide whether you should be forgiven or not. That's up to the people here that formed friendships with the person they thought was Hilda. I do hope everyone that's hurt or angry over this can heal, and that you attempt to make amends with every single one of those people.

[Shamitako]

...

I think you know me well enough that the one thing I abhor above all else is liars. Tomas's lovely OOTS reference pretty well covers it

Thing is, I sorta have an obsession with Disney's Mulan during my off days. So while Hilda just killed my trust, I am not above letting Hunter attempt to get regain it

Basically no, we're not friends anymore, but I'm apparently the type of girl who gives second chances. Just don't expect a third one

[Solarance]

So, I think I'm missing something major here... As I see it, Hunter, formally Hilda has used the Hilda alias since joining, and has revealed the true identity, yes, using someone else's photos may of not been the best thing to do, but forgivable. I don't see why you all are saying Hunter should be stripped of the "Global Mod" position and everyone has lost all trust.. Please fill me in on something that I'm missing. In conclusion, I see most responses as an opinionated shit storm. (Not saying that this one isn't.)

[Neo]

So, I think I'm missing something major here... As I see it, Hunter, formally Hilda has used the Hilda alias since joining, and has revealed the true identity, yes, using someone else's photos may of not been the best thing to do, but forgivable. I don't see why you all are saying Hunter should be stripped of the "Global Mod" position and everyone has lost all trust.. Please fill me in on something that I'm missing. In conclusion, I see most responses as an opinionated shit storm. (Not saying that this one isn't.)

The same way a politician can be impeached for lying while doing their job, the same ought to apply here. How someone who couldn't even be honest with the community is supposed to have a hand in running it is beyond me.

This ain't got much to do with Hilda/Hunter and I butting heads either. If anyone else in their position did the same thing, they'd deserve to lose their spot. Perhaps this ain't the best time to talk about it, seeing as how this thread is more focused on Hunter's reveal and not their standing within the community.

[Wes]

So, I think I'm missing something major here... As I see it, Hunter, formally Hilda has used the Hilda alias since joining, and has revealed the true identity, yes, using someone else's photos may of not been the best thing to do, but forgivable. I don't see why you all are saying Hunter should be stripped of the "Global Mod" position and everyone has lost all trust.. Please fill me in on something that I'm missing. In conclusion, I see most responses as an opinionated shit storm. (Not saying that this one isn't.)

People who are in a position of power are generally given said power because their judgement is trusted enough to help maintain order on the server. If someone has lied about their entire person, created friendships as someone else, and then reveals they aren't anything they said they were, of course people will lose trust. You can connect the dots.

[Godot]

The same way a politician can be impeached for lying while doing their job, the same ought to apply here. How someone who couldn't even be honest with the community is supposed to have a hand in running it is beyond me.

This ain't got much to do with Hilda/Hunter and I butting heads either. If anyone else in their position did the same thing, they'd deserve to lose their spot. Perhaps this ain't the best time to talk about it, seeing as how this thread is more focused on Hunter's reveal and not their standing within the community.

That's personal opinion.

[Solarance]

The same way a politician can be impeached for lying while doing their job, the same ought to apply here. How someone who couldn't even be honest with the community is supposed to have a hand in running it is beyond me.

This ain't got much to do with Hilda/Hunter and I butting heads either. If anyone else in their position did the same thing, they'd deserve to lose their spot.

Once again still think I'm missing something... This "lying" has been concealing something to the public, nothing wrong with that. Hunter has done something that takes bravery to do, anything involving coming out does. The feeling to be rejected by someone or a group of people would drive me insane, and to be stripped of something you earned due to some people opinions seems completely absurd to me. I respect you Hunter, and I'm sorry for the way some people are treating this situation.

[Hexagoen]

That's personal opinion.

to go and expand on what godot said (and neo)

this thread is about hilda (hunter) coming out. can you all please focus on that instead of putting your opinions on why hunter should be auth or not.

i really didnt want to see this thread turn sour...

so please, chill.

[Raindrop Valkyrie]

As for the mod thing, I haven't seen Hunter abuse his power as a mod nor go out of his way to threaten people. He does a decent job at moderating so I'd rather keep him there than replace him with somebody people might despise. That ain't my territory though so I'll stay out of it.

Yes, but after such a grandiose lie I can't say I don't blame people that do feel that way for saying as such. It's a position that needs be based in some sort of trust in that person to do their job and in the way it is correct etc... I'm personally in the camp that it's probably not a good idea for Hunter to remain as such. It's a position fro trust in a community. A Mod that suddenly comes off a point saying that they have lied pretty much the entire time they've been here... I can understand with why that's a reason to step down from the position or have it revoked.

If you can't trust someone to tell you are, how can you trust them to keep you safe on the forums, server etc? After all, it's our job to not only keep the forums clean and well manged. It's also our job to keep peace and have people feel safe. If one lied to them for over a year, how can they properly do that job? Everyone will have doubts they'll always be worried in the back of their heads. Personally, I air to the side of caution as much as humanly possible and to me that's the safest route for everyone involved. Not just the people but Hunter himself. This responsibility really isn't something you need on top of this right now. I'd urge you too for your own sake. However, it's not my place to tell you what to do. That course of action is to you. The rest of it is Auth business and I'm sure as much will be discussed in due time. Remember, this isn't out of malice nor spite. It's quite out of concern for the community and for you as well Hunter. Me decided that's best in my mind is probably unfair, but I really do think it's best. I hate to say those words as I like to let things up to that person to allow them to take their actions and not the ones I advise. I can only know so well what another is going through, I can never have every shred of information available to them. Therefore anything I say is always incomplete. It's my perspective and not that of one other. But I do feel this way and cannot shake it.

I don't know if this is the best place for this conversation to continue, however... I'll at least make that known. There's no bad blood here, but I feel that it must be said. I think this is the last I'll say here. I've been heard that's all that needs be done.

That's personal opinion.

As are the one's to allow the position to stand. All opinions are personal. I don't think one can be condemning for saying or thinking that. However I do believe this is not the right place for this discussion. We can talk about Auth related articles later and I'm sure it will be discussed. Here? It's not really the right place no matter where someone sits imo ((which I realize I've talked on it but still. Further than this I don't see a point to continuing here.))

Once again, people don't got to agree with my, but this will be my last words in here for now. No matter what ends up happening in the future, I hope we can move past this. How it happens... not up to me.

[Tacos]

Once again still think I'm missing something... This "lying" has been concealing something to the public, nothing wrong with that. Hunter has done something that takes bravery to do, anything involving coming out does. The feeling to be rejected by someone or a group of people would drive me insane, and to be stripped of something you earned due to some people opinions seems completely absurd to me. I respect you Hunter, and I'm sorry for the way some people are treating this situation.

This is not Hunter coming out as transgender. This is Hunter telling the community that Hilda never was a real person, only an alias.

[Wes]

That's personal opinion.

As you are entitled to your opinion, so are we.

Once again still think I'm missing something... This "lying" has been concealing something to the public, nothing wrong with that. Hunter has done something that takes bravery to do, anything involving coming out does. The feeling to be rejected by someone or a group of people would drive me insane, and to be stripped of something you earned due to some people opinions seems completely absurd to me. I respect you Hunter, and I'm sorry for the way some people are treating this situation.

Not telling the truth is the same as lying. Lying to who is supposed to be your friend is not cool. If you're still missing something, then it's obviously something you won't understand until it happens to you.

to go and expand on what godot said (and neo)

this thread is about hilda (hunter) coming out. can you all please focus on that instead of putting your opinions on why hunter should be auth or not.

i really didnt want to see this thread turn sour...

so please, chill.

If a thread like this is made, it's nothing but a ticking timebomb. When posting the thread it was known to end up that way. Everyone here knows this and despite it may be about the fact, everyone will end up posting their various opinions about that person and what they do in the community because this is a pretty big thing considering how high on the auth list the person in question actually is.

[Bluewolf]

You sound like you're apologizing for axe murdering a litter of kittens.

....Ok that was a bit overboard. In all seriousness, this just means I switch from saying "aaayyy guuurrrl" to "aaaaay bruuuuuhhh", or whichever you prefer. I don't see why I'd be mad, of course, our relationship probably isn't as deep as with some of the other people here. But I'm glad you can come clean about it. It's more strength than I have, that's for sure.

So chin up, Hunter. Things can only get better form here on.

~Best wishes, Wulfy~