A Marginally Better-Written Guide for Pokemon Reborn Hardcore

[Lord Chespin]

So, I just looked at DespairSyndrome's guide to Pokemon Reborn (it's brilliant, by the way; go look at it, you can find it here), and I realized: Nobody's made a guide for Pokemon Reborn Hardcore! I figured that since I kind of popularized doing challenge runs of Hardcore, I might as well be the one to make a guide for it.

So, first things first: you'll need the game first. You can find it here. Got it? No? Well, I'm not typing it again, so tough.

Secondly, this guide is only for the battles; if I did every little single detail, it would be redundant thanks to Chubb and DespairSyndrome's work. If there's a major difference between Hardcore and the Vanilla version, I'll be sure to mention it.

Third, I remember most of the Pokemon from my playthroughs of the game, but I don't remember the levels or the specific movesets. I'll try to let you know if there's a major move that you should watch out for, but mostly, you'll just have to prepare based on the Pokemon alone.

Fourth, there will be SPOILERS. If you want to play Hardcore and not get the battles spoiled, well, go play it first.

Fifth and finally ​(yay alliteration), try not to post on this thread. I'll make a discussion thread for it, which you can find here.

Anyway, on we go!

Chapter I: Boom, Shake Shake Shake the Room

So, you got a shiny brand new ticket to the Reborn Region. It's the only shiny thing about this region, though; I mean, seriously, this place is grimy. For crying out loud, there are freaking blown-up buildings all over the Peridot Ward! Speaking of blown-up, your train blew up. With you on it. Don't worry, though; you survived. You have plot armor. Anyway, With the train in smoldering ruins, you head on out the the Opal Ward. Also, talk to this lady for a free potion. Trust me, you're gonna need it.

Anyway, we got the starters. This part is unchanged from the normal game. You can pick any starter you want:

Well, actually, you might want to hold off on picking up these guys right away:

You can get them all later, as part of a one-time event. Also, I wouldn't pick up Chikorita. Chikorita stinks. RIP Chikorita.

Anyway, now we have our first fight:

Pretty Boy (I can't type that with a straight face...) Cain

Well, this fight is pretty easy. It's mostly unchanged from the vanilla game, except I think his Nidoran always has hustle. Just play your cards right and you'll do fine.

Next up comes...

Apprentice (to Donald Trump) Victoria

Now, this is where the difficulty of this mod starts to set in. Victoria's Tepig is a whole level higher than it normally is. Yeah, real scary, I know, but hey, it's tough for this point in the game. You might want to use that potion you picked up earlier, as Tepig hits rather hard.

Anyway, after that, you'll notice the second new thing about this game: to the left of the Grand Hall, there's two new item balls next to Techie Johnathan. They contain an EXP Share and a Lucky Egg, so I'd highly recommend you pick them up as soon as possible. However, you have to be very, very careful not to enter Techie Johnathan's line of view. Why?

HE HAS A MEGA RAYQUAZA. No, I'm not joking. He actually has one. It's a reference to a bug where he had one during Episode 14, but still. Be careful; we'll come back to it later.

Anyway, the Peridot Ward's the same as always, aside from the higher trainer levels. Keep going and we'll meet our next major battle:

SWAG JOCKEY FERN

Now, this is where the game really gets hard. If you haven't noticed, all of his Pokemon have evolved at least once.Their levels are also much higher. Fortunately, there's still only three of them, but they can take you to 'Frisco town if you're not careful. Their movepools aren't all that good, though (Roselia only has poison sting as a poison STAB, for example), so if you have several Pokemon that are strong against grass-types (personally, I recommend Kricketune, as fury cutter wreck house), you should be relatively fine.

Anyway, stuff happens, we find out Team Meteor's planning to blow up the gym, and we go to their base to blow them up first. We're stuck with Fern, but hey, at least we get to use his tougher Pokemon for us for once. Anyway, once we get to their inner sanctum (don't forget the rare candy and hidden ability capsule outside, though), we find the third-in-command of Team Meteor: Sirius. He takes on Julia and Florina, leaving his flunkies- Aster and Eclipse- to us.

TEAM METEOR GRUNTS ASTER AND ECLIPSE (DOUBLE BATTLE)

So, Aster and Eclipse, in case you haven't noticed, don't mess around either. Seriously, considering how often they show up and how strong they are, I'm surprised they haven't gotten promoted. Anyway, both of their Pokemon are Lv. 20, so you're probably going to be needing your whole team to take them down. I'd recommend taking out Magmar first, since Fern can't really do anything against it, but be careful of Electabuzz, since it knows fire punch, which also wreaks havoc on Fern's team.

Anyway, after defeating the two of them, Sirius runs away, and Julia lights the place up with her boomies. With the base in ruins (hope you got that rare candy and that ability capsule), it's time to challenge...

CHEER CAPTAIN HYPERACTIVE LUNATIC JULIA

Now, if you thought Fern and Aster/Eclipse were bad, you ain't seen nothin' yet. First things first; if you started with a fire-type or a Mudkip, you should be fine against Magnemite (although be wary of its air balloon). Otherwise, you might want to pick up a Pansear from the rainy day event (if you need to grind it up to speed, I'd recommend going to the northernmost alley, giving it the lucky egg, and fighting the random encounters). Hardcore Julia's Emolga, meanwhile, is a lot tougher than regular Julia's Emolga, as it has no item, meaning it can fire off mighty acrobatics with no drawback. If you caught a Trubbish, now might be a good time to send it out and have it use toxic spikes. Her Voltorb is what you'd expect: it blows up. Funnily enough, it blowing up might be the best thing it could do, as if it sets up several charge beams, you're toast. Try sending out a weak Pokemon or death fodder for this guy. Her Chinchou's holding Eviolite, so it's probably a good idea to steal it if you have an Espurr that knows covet. Otherwise, Grass-types work well here, and make sure to heal your Pokemon if it paralyzes them, as otherwise its electro balls will get stronger. Her Heliolisk (yes, you read that right) is probably one of the hardest Pokemon to handle at this point in the game, and it's not even running an offensive set (it runs a bulky set with rain dance, parabolic charge, HP grass, and eerie impulse)! Try using fire-type moves before it sets up rain dance, and if it does set up rain dance, try poisoning it if you haven't already. As tempting as it may be, don't use water-type moves on it, as it has dry skin and will heal itself instead of take damage. Finally, her ace, Electrode, is pretty much just Voltorb, only it doesn't explode anymore. It has a meh physical defense, so try using priority moves on it, like quick attack.

Anyway, with Julia down, you get the Volt Badge and the TM for Charge Beam! And with that, Chapter I comes to a close!

Did I do a good job? Do I need to go more in depth? DID I WIN THE COOKIE?! Let me know in the discussion!

Edited February 14, 2016 by Lord Chespin

[Lord Chespin]

Chapter II: Floral Kerfuffle

Well, with your shiny new Volt Badge, you get what every child could ever want: access to a Ward overrun by homicidal plants and hecklers on the Opal Bridge. Now, without the HM for cut, there's not much you can do for now, but you can go to the Sweet Kiss Candy Shop and drown your exploding train PTSD in sugar:

Now, there are three main things you're going to want to do here:

1) Get some Common Candies. With the stronger Pokemon in this mod (seriously, Florina's Cradily is over the level cap), you'll be gaining levels quite fast.

2) If, by some miraculous stroke of luck, the weather was sunny and you picked up a chocolate ice cream, give it to the boy by the vending machine and buy some ice cream (and a Vanillite, if you're into that kind of thing). Even if you didn't, I'd recommend using your MAGICAL WARLOCK POWERS^TM (aka change time and date settings) to change the date to a sunny day. You will need all the healing items you can get.

3) Doing the Tile puzzle and getting a Swirlix. A fairy-type will seriously come in handy for the next two boss fights.

Once you've come off your sugar high, drag your energy-deprived body over to the slum entrance, where you'll find Victoria. Despite the slums being the very obviously only way for you to go, she still refused to let you in because "MEH DANGEROUS". Which leads to the first major battle of the chapter...

APPRENTICE CLINGY MOM VICTORIA

Her Scraggy isn't all that bad, but it can be a bit on a pain, so Swirlix helps immensely with fairy wind here. Kirlia is quite frail, so a good poison-type or Klink can take it out easily with a sludge or a gear grind, respectively. Makuhita is bulky, but still kinda easy. Pignite is probably her most threatening Pokemon, especially if it sets up sunny day, so try to take it down fast with a psychic- or water-type. Her Poliwwag (which is exclusive to this mod) is probably the weakest Pokemon she has, but it can still do some damage with a rain-boosted bubble beam. Try using grass-types on it, as it knows mud shot for electric-types.

After Victoria's eventual defeat, she reluctantly lets you enter the slums. Inside, you fight the ambiguously drugged-up hobos and one scientist studying Pokemon gangs, all while chasing mysteriously moving boxes. Eventually, you corner the source of the moving boxes (a Scraggy) and follow it to its leader: A Scrafty! This leads to the next boss fight:

POKEMON GANG SCRAFTY (DOUBLE BATTLE)

Anyway, the first Scraggy (Dragonborn) uses dragon dance and has intimidate; try to take him out first, as otherwise he'll get very big very, very fast. The next Scraggy, Stallord, knows toxic, drain punch, iron defense, and amnesia, and has shed skin to get rid of status conditions. It can also get kind of annoying, but it's kind of passive, and can't do much to fairy-types like Swirlix, flying-types, or even psychic-types like Swoobat. Next up is Tyson, who has bulk up and the elemental punches. He isn't too tough, but you might want to swap out your flying-types when he comes out; he also has moxie, so don't let him take out any weaker Pokemon. Finally, Big Boss (the Scrafty) has leftovers and a more balanced movepool, as well as intimidate (I think). He can take a lot of punch, but again, fairy-types can deal with him quite well.

After that, you reach the Coral Ward, where you meet Amaria (who is totally not suicidal, why do you ask) and run into Cain again. After he rescues the Oshawott that Amaria was trying to save with his Grimer, he challenges you to a battle, bringing us to major battle #3:

OSHAWOTT TAMER CAIN

You might want to bench Swirlix for this fight, as it won't have much of an advantage. Anyway, Be wary of using a psychic-type against Cain's Grimer, as it knows shadow sneak; using a ground-type move from the Numel you can get on a rainy day may be a safer choice. Cain's ace, Nidorino, isn't too bad, as it has hustle, but try not to let it set up a focus energy, or else you might be in trouble. Cain's... Dewott... (seriously, did he force-feed it several rare candies before he challenged you?!) isn't too bad, but I think it knows fury cutter to cover its weakness to grass-types, so try using an electric-type, like Tynamo or Blitzle. Cain's Venonat is a pushover; any decent fire-type will be able to take it down. His Gastly, however, is a different story; it's fast and stronger than it looks. It's pretty frail, though, and has a nasty habit of using curse, so a good normal-type with dark-type moves can handle it pretty well.

With that done, we finally get the HM for cut, letting us access a bigger chunk of the Obsidia Ward. Try to get a good fire-type before you do this next battle; trust me, you'll need it. I'd recommend the aforementioned Numel, or (if you're a LAZY_SHIT^TM), the Litleo that you get after the Klinklang battle. Anyway, after entering the park, Amaria and Florina get tangled up in vines, and we meet our next foe...

MENTAL THREESOME ZEL

So, this should be your first encounter with the PULSE Pokemon. If you're not familiar with them, they're essentially fan-made Mega Evolutions. The lack of a field is a bit of a double-edged sword; no field means no buff to Tangrowth's moves, but it also means no field to light on fire to damage the Tangrowth (you sick arsonist >:c). It's only one Pokemon, though, so don't get too worried. I'd recommend softening it up specially with a few acid sprays from a Trubbish or a Grimer, then a special fire-type move from your starter, Numel, or Litleo.

With the Tangrowth down, some conveniently-placed vines move away letting you access the next gym. Unfortunately, because Fern is a SCRUBLORD_EXTRAORDINAIRE^TM, he slams the door in our face and makes us fight our way through the whole school. After making our way to Fern, he challenges us, leading to battle #5:

SWEG JECKEY FERN

Fern's Ludicolo is kind of tough, but a good flying-type can withstand everything it throws at you and take it down with flying-type STAB moves. Grovyle (which, again, is new to this mod) has unburden and a normal gem, giving it crazy speed after a quick attack; try to send out a bulky Pokemon that can withstand a quick attack and a STAB grass attack, like Klink. Ferroseed's a lot less scary than it looks, as you can just take it down with a single fire-type move. Servine will try to set up growths, but it doesn't actually have contrary this once, so you can use stat-lowering moves on it. Finally, Roselia's kind of a pushover, compared to to the rest of his team, at least. Just use fire-, flying-, or psychic-type moves, and you'll be fine.

With Fern down, he decides to take on the gym challenge. Good luck with that, scrub. Anyway, now nothing's stopping us from taking on...

DEFINITELY NOT A ROBOT FLOBOT

Now, Cacturne is a bit of a pain to hit thanks to sand veil, but it's kind of frail. Basically, don't let it set up spikes, and you'll be fine. Grotle can set up stealth rocks, but it can't really do much to a flying-type, which can levitate over sand tomb and tank a seed bomb. Tropius is a royal pain in the arse thanks to its wombo combo of harvest + sitrus berry. It can even set up dragon dance and use fly and leaf blade, meaning it's not complete setup fodder. However, a good ol' Klink can resist everything it has to throw at you, and hit back with a gear grind. Try poisoning it, too; that way the constant healing will be slightly reset. Gougeist can cripple physical attackers with a will-o-wisp, and I think it knows sand tomb to hit fire-types. There's not much it can do to flying-type, though. Breloom can be a nightmare if you don't take it out fast, as it has poison heal, a toxic orb, and drain punch. A good flying-type can take it out fast, though. Finally, her ace, Cradily, is the first Pokemon in the mod to be above the level cap. It can boost its offenses and physical defenses with curse, do chip damage and boost its special defense with sandstorm, heal itself with giga drain, or do damage with rock slide. A good fighting type, like Makuhita or Pancham, is your best friend here. If you don't have one, try using special moves, and for the love of god don't use a flying- or fire-type.

Anyway, with Florina defeated, we get the canopy badge and the TM for nature power! And so, with a request to check out the Jasper and Beryl Wards, we end Chapter II!

As always, be sure to discuss this in the discussion thread!

Edited February 21, 2016 by Lord Chespin

[Lord Chespin]

Chapter III: Floral Kerfuffle 2: The Toxic Boogaloo

So, as you might remember from the previous post, Florina wanted us to check the Jasper and Beryl Wards in an effort to stop the plan problem. Like the good friend we are, we take her up on her request (after all, it's not like making promises with someone you barely know has led to a homicidal little kid wiping out your entire species, right?). Anyway, the first thing you might notice about the Jasper Ward is that it's been wrecked to smithereens (and for your reference, there are 10 smithers in a cubic centimeter, and 10 smithereens in a smither). You might want to pick up a Sewaddle and keep it unevolved until level 31; at this level (and only as a Sewaddle), it learns sticky web. This move makes so many battles so much easier, and this is the earliest you can get it.

Anyway, head into the police station. The Police Chief there says that several officers have gone missing, and asks you to find them. Now, you may be thinking, "Chespin, you said you were only going to cover the bosses! Why are you covering this?!" Well, for two reasons: One, this sidequest gives you a mystery egg Pokemon. You will need it. Secondly, finishing this sidequest before beating Taka and ZEL opens up a new story path with a new boss. So, I figured I'd cover that, since I've only fought the version you fight if you complete the sidequest. The police officers' locations can be found in the regular Reborn guide, so I'd recommend looking there.

Moving on, enter the forest and fight your way through the grunts. One of the grunts has a Gallade, so watch out for that. Eventually, you'll find the leader of the grunts: Taka, who is actually surprisingly affable. Doesn't mean he'll give you any less of a tough time, though.

RELUCTANT METEOR TAKA

Lileep should be his easiest Pokemon; it's fairly passive, and although it can heal off quite a bit of damage if it set up an ingrain, now might be a good time for a setup sweeper (or, y'know, something that passes for one) to set up, or for a Trubbish to set toxic spikes, etc. Just be careful it doesn't get stat boosts from an ancientpower. Taka's Gligar is pretty bulky, and has knock off, but a good water-type (or Vanillite, if you picked it up) can take it out fairly well, as long as you use special moves, as it has a fairly high physical defense. The PULSE Tangrowth is similar to the one you fought before, except now it has a field backing it up, and I think it knows sludge bomb and giga drain as well. You're going to want to light the field on fire with your Numel/Pansear/Slugma, as turning the field against it weakens it immensely. Also, it it sets up growth, try to confuse it; this will turn its massive attack stat against it. Chatot is a pain in the arse, as it can do massive damage with hyper voice, confuse you with a chatter, or even set up a nasty plot to do even more damage. However, it has no answer for a steel-type, so if you didn't light the field on fire, try using it. If you did burn the field, just use a good, bulky Pokemon or rock-type, another type it can't touch. Klefki is a pain, as it can set up dual screens (which is really bad if Tangrowth is still alive), set up a swagger, and capitalize on your boosted attack with a foul play. However, it doesn't like the burning field, and a good fire-type move can do massive damage to it, even if the field isn't on fire.

Anyway, the Beryl Ward is more of the same: broken buildings, plants, et cetera. The good news is that there aren't many trainers here, but the bad news is that there aren't many trainers here, so grinding's harder. One thing of note is that some Nuzleaf lock you in a cage, and Fern, being the dick that he is, refuses to let you out unless you beg and admit he's tougher than you. Obviously, unless you're a scrub, say no. Sure, he'll leave you to die, which is murder by inaction, but Taka will send his Chatot to save you. Another reason why I like Taka so much. Eventually, you'll find Taka and ZEL in front of the final PULSE Tangrowth, with a mysterious figure leading them. A super mysterious figure... who could it ever be... Anyway, Heather (a girl you met after deactivating the second PULSE Tangrowth) comes in and battles the supervisor, so you only have to take on Taka and ZEL.

TAG TEAM BROTHERRRRRRRR

If you haven't noticed, ZEL now has a fourth Eeveelution: Jolteon. However, ZEL only has three personalities. My personal headcanon is that ZEL has a fourth, silent personality called Derpi. Regardless, it's probably a good idea to focus on taking out ZEL first, as Taka's Cradily is fairly passive. Taka is more or less unchanged from his last fight, except for the lack of field, so try to use the same strategies you used last time; I'l spend most of this section talking about ZEL. Glaceon is bulky and can lower your speed with an icy wind, so try to take it out fast with a strong specially-oriented fire-type (or you could just use Klink again). Jolteon can't do much to a ground-type like Numel or Onix, but it can set up with charge beam, so again, try to end it fast. Espeon is quite frail physically, so a good physically-oriented bug-type (like Kricketune or Sewaddle) can do massive damage to it. Finally, Umbreon's a real pain, as it has a Lum berry to shrug off statuses, moonlight to heal itself, and double team to make it impossible to hit. Just take it down quickly with the bug-type you used for Espeon. Basically, make the fight go fast, and you'll be fine.

After the fight, if you found all the police officers, the mysterious supervisor turns out to be Corey, the guy we came up here to face. Shock-horror. Now, the path diverges here: if you outed him, he floods his gym with toxic gas, meaning you fight him in the corrosive mist field. Otherwise, you fight him in the normal corrosive field. Here's the corrosive field:

WORST DAD EVER COREY

Corrosive Field:

Okay, I've got a better understanding of this team thanks to Commander, the maker of Pokemon Reborn Hardcore. Props to him! Anyway, Garbodor is a very, very dangerous Pokemon: It can set up stockpile and toxic spikes (which are permanent on this field), can heal with giga drain, and can do crazy damage with venoshock. Take it down as fast as you can; otherwise, you're in for a bad time. Corey's Haunter is tough, too, as it has venoshock and shadow ball. Try to send out a bulky Pokemon to tank its hits, but make sure it's not too important to your strategy, as it has destiny bond. Corey's Beedrill doesn't look too bad, and for the most part, it isn't; it can do the wombo combo of endeavor + focus sash, so be careful. Vileplume is a monster, as it has an 100% accurate sleep powder, giga drain, and Venoshock. If you have a nice, strong fire-type (like Growlithe), now's the time to use it; like Garbodor, it can be a pain if it lives for too long, so take it down fast. Corey's Skuntank isn't as bad as it is under the mist, but it still has a nasty poison jab and night slash, so don't let your guard down. Corey's ace, Crobat, is slightly harder than under the mist, as it can still hit poison- and steel-types. Try paralyzing it, and keep a good rock-type on the field, as it has trouble with those.

Corrosive Mist Field:

Now, the corrosive mist field will poison any Pokemon who stay in it for longer than a turn. However, it can be blown up by your fire-types, taking out everyone currently on the field; it also can't poison your own poison- or steel-types (Klink, baby, I love you), so try using those. All of his Pokemon can do massive damage with a field-boosted Venoshock, even if you blow up the field, so be careful. Quilfish has signal beam for grass-types and psychic-types, so try using electric-types (or Klink, again); it also has a berry that boosts its special attack when its HP gets low, so try to take it out in one fell swoop. Swalot has a black sludge for recovery, acid armor to boost its defense, shadow ball for psychic-types, and ice beam for ground-types; however, it can't do much to Numel or a steel-type. Nidoqueen can do massive damage with a bulldoze, an ice punch, or a Venoshock, so try to take it out fast with a water- or psychic-type attack. Skuntank laughs at psychic-type attacks, and has flamethrower to hit steel-types, but it can't do much against a good ground-type. Scolipede is a beast, as it has speed boost to raise its already-high speed, bug bite for psychic-types, rock tomb for fire- and flying-types, and poison tail as a poison STAB. This thing can sweep teams if left unchecked, so be careful. A good ground-type can, again, do a number on it, though. Finally, Crobat has nasty plot to boost its special attack, and it knows two very potent attacks in air slash and venoshock. However, if the field's still a corrosive mist field, it can't even touch a steel-type, and does very little damage to poison-types.

After the fight, regardless of what you do, Corey asks you to come to Beryl Bridge. He releases his entire team (which, strangely, looks nothing like the team you just fought), and asks you to look after Heather. He then jumps off the bridge to his death.

...I'd make a joke about not giving me my badge, but I think now's a bad time.

Also, Fern comes out of nowhere and openly mocks Corey for committing suicide. Ame, can we have an option to toss him off the bridge? Please?

Like whatcha see, boys? Comment about it in the discussion thread!

Edited March 2, 2016 by Lord Chespin

[Lord Chespin]

Chapter IV: Staircases, Doctors, and Bugs, Oh My!

So, last chapter we ended on the somber note of Corey jumping to his death. So, with a good heaping dose of dead guy PTSD to go with our exploding train PTSD, what's the first thing we do? Why, go see the aftermath of where he landed!

He landed in the Lapis Ward, and to get to it, we have to get through the now-unblocked Upper Obsidia Ward. Why is it unblocked now? Well, because somebody blew it up. I can feel my exploding train PTSD coming back. Anyway, head through the Ward to the Lapis Ward. Don't forget to join the Aqua Gang or the Magma Gang, as you'll get new Pokemon, a bicycle, and eventual access to Seventh Street! That's right, kids; gangs are good! I'd recommend joining the Aqua gang, as you can get both of the gang's mascots (Carvanha and Houndoom) earlier if you do, as well as Murkrow before Shelly. Eventually, you'll find a crowd of people around Corey's dead body, and eugh, that's a lot of blood. Seriously, was Corey some sort of vampire? (Actually, come to think of it, he did have a bat as his ace...) Regardless, Shade, our friendly neighborhood Eldritch Abomination, takes away Corey's dead body, leaving only a traumatized Shelly, Victoria, and us. Victoria overhears that Team Meteor blew up the staircase, and decides to check it out... only to get captured immediately. Now we have to rescue her.

The good news is that Team Meteor didn't really send many grunts to fortify the staircase; there's just Aster Eclipse, and Solaris, who's a higher-up in Team Meteor. Solaris lectures us about the secret beneath Reborn City (during which he gets his colors mixed up; who knows, maybe he's colorblind) and leaves, leaving us and Victoria to deal with the next major boss:

GRUNTS DO THE DIRTY WORK ASTER AND ECLIPSE

Victoria's Pokemon:

Solrock and Lunatone are surprisingly dangerous, as the Crystal Cave field allows them to boost their attack, special attack, and speed all at once with a single rock polish. The field also gives their rock slides an extra grass-, water-, fire-, or psychic-typing, so don't think your water-types or grass-types are safe. Overall, Dark-types are the best answer to them, so try to send out a strong dark-type that can take them out before they take you out (oh, and remember that Lunatone has weak physical bulk while Solrock has weak special bulk). Electabuzz and Magmar aren't quite as bad as they were during the factory, as they haven't changed much; just use non-contact moves (especially ground-type moves, as more ground-types are available to you now) and you'll be fine. Aster's Rhyhorn is a joke; it may be the highest-leveled Pokemon on the field, but it's still very, very easy to beat with a good water- or grass-type. Finally, Eclipse's Milotic can be a pain, as it has leftovers and aqua ring to heal back health, but just keep up the offensive and you'll do fine.

With Victoria retrieved, we remember that we have a traumatized Shelly to look after and head back to check on her. She's okay, thank god, but Victoria thinks we should see a doctor about Shelly. Since there conveniently happens to be a psychiatrist in this very Ward, we head out there, only to bump into an 18-year-old on the way out. Inside, we meet the kids at the Orphanage, and we find out two things:

1) Many of them (namely Lauren, the girl we met outside; Charlotte, a girl with burn scars that may or my not exist; Anna, a little girl who looks at reality and says "nah, man, I'll make my own rules"; and Noel, the only sane kid here) are gym leaders, but the Doctor won't let them take challenges. If you didn't hate him enough already, then get a load of this:

2) HE TORTURES THE KIDS WITH ELECTRICITY AS PART OF HIS THERAPY. Despite this, he's still not the most heinous villain in the game!

Anyway, before we can get more out of the kids, the Doctor (Dr. Sigmund Connal) comes in and sics an orderly on us to test us. This brings us to the next battle:

MINI-BOSS ORDERLY JOHN

So, Whiscash is fairly easy to take out; all you gotta do is hit it with a decently-powerful grass-type move and it'll go down hard. Eelektross is a bit of a different story; it has no weaknesses thanks to levitate, so you'll have to improvise. You could use smack down on it to make it vulnerable to ground-type moves, or you could use a bulky Pokemon to tank most of what it has. Magnezone looks scarier than it actually is; it goes down fast to ground-type moves, or fire-or fighting-type moves if you don't have a ground-type. Keckleon has Protean, so its type changes to match its attacks, and it always gets a STAB bonus; however, it's fairly slow, so you can take advantage of this by switching up your attacks to take advantage of its typing at the moment. Slowking is very bulky specially, but not very bulky physically, so a good physical dark-type move can do a number on it. Finally, Duosion's not that bad, but it does have pain split, so watch out.

Anyway, we tell Victoria that taking Shelly to the crazy shocky guy probably isn't the best idea. She decides to let us fight Shelly, knowing that it's the only way to progress the plot, and so we enter the gy- GOD DAMNIT VICTORIA. Yes, apparently Victoria doesn't want us to fight Shelly- fair enough, she's been through some stuff- but how are we going to fight Team Meteor if we're stuck at Level 35?! Whatever, onward to the next major boss:

OUR BELOVED SMOTHER VICTORIA

Scraggy is probably the easiest Pokemon she has; it falls fast to any fairy-, flying-, or fighting-type moves, and although it can do some serious damage with a life-orb boosted high jump kick, the recoil from high jump kick is pretty much seals its fate. Poliwrath isn't too bad, either, as it's relatively frail and lacks many strong moves. Gallade is where things get tough: it has swords dance, shadow sneak for priority, psuycho cut, and brick break. The good news is that it's quite physically frail, so a good physical flying-type move can do a number on it (such as acrobatics from Emolga). Hariyama is tough too, as it has belly drum, which will max out its attack; it's slow, though, and can't set up belly drum if its health is too low, so keep that in mind and try to wail on it fast. Emboar is probably her most threatening Pokemon, as it has a monstrous 123 base attack and a generous base 110 HP; it even has coverage moves, too! Try to use a good flying-type on it, as it doesn't have any coverage moves for them.

With Victoria finally allowing us to take on Shelly, it's time to... well, take on Shelly. That was really repetitive pls don't shoot me Regardless, there's something you might notice about Shelly's room in Pokemon Reborn Hardcore: it's raining. Yeah. No more lighting the field on fire; you gotta get past her the hard way. Commander, you sick psycho.

YAY BEATING UP LITTLE GIRLS

With fire-types out of the question and rock-types at risk due to the rain, flying-types and electric-types (for the bug/flying-types) are going to be your best friend here. Also, try to use mainly physical attackers, as the rampant use of struggle bug can make special attacks useless. Illumise can be a pain thanks to prankster moonlight/confuse ray, but overall it's the most passive Pokemon here. Masquerain is surprisingly powerful, with struggle bug, hydro pump, energy ball, and air slash to hit a wide range of Pokemon; try to take it out first if you're planning on setting stealth rock, as it's a pain. Armaldo is a freaking beast, with swift swim under the permanent rain, good STABs in rock slide and bug bite, aqua jet for what outspeeds it, and bulldoze to hit and slow down faster threats it can survive. The good news is that the rain makes it very susceptible to water-types, so you can use that to your advantage and have a bulky or faster water-type take it down with Rain-boosted STAB attacks. Heather, Shelly's Yanmega, can get very speedy very fast with speed boost, and has many attacking moves, including giga drain to hit water- and rock-types (it even has a big root to drain more HP!)! I'd recommend paralyzing it as soon as it comes out, and hitting it with electric-type moves in general. Vespiquen is surprisingly bulky, can heal with leftovers and heal order, and can do massive damage with attack order; it can't touch rock-types, though, which is a first for this battle, so if Masquerain, Armaldo, and Heather are dealt with, those guys are a good idea. Otherwise, electric-types are useful. Finally, Bugsy (Shelly's Volbeat) can hit like a truck if it sets up a tail glow, but its wimpy base 47 special attack stat is fairly underwhelming at first, so try to take it out fast before it can set up.

And so, with Shelly down, we get our third badge for real this time: The Cocoon Badge! Shelly asks us to go report Corey's death to the police, and we head off to do so!

So, how'd I do? Did I make a couple dozen mistakes, or did I only make about 7 mistakes? Let me know in the discussion thread!

Edited March 17, 2016 by Lord Chespin

[Lord Chespin]

Chapter V-wheel: The Orphanage Raid That We Shall Barely Mention Because There Aren't any Major Bosses In It

Boy, this update's been a long time coming, hasn't it? Anyway, when we last left off, we were going to tell Amethyst about Corey's death. Unfortunately, a certain evil green somebody got there first: Ganondorf Fern. He tells Ame to make sure that some girl named Aya is ready for him, then continues to act like a massive grasshole by callously calling Corey's suicide sort of like retiring and talking casually about how he beat a traumatized Shelly. Remind me why we didn't chuck him off the bridge when we had the chance? Anyway, he says he has a key to the wasteland, and makes us fight him to get him to tell us where he got it from.

SWIG JICKEY FERN

Ludicolo is deceptively powerful, as it has powerful moves like giga drain, scald, and ice beam; however,it's relatively slow outside of rain, so you can use this to your advantage by sending out faster Pokemon, such as Emolga, Meowstic, Manectric, or Jumpluff. Serperior has a physical set based around coil, so try to target it with special moves, like a flamethrower from Pyroar or an ice beam from Vanillish. I'm almost certain that Sceptile has a power herb and unburden, which it seeks to activate by using leaf storm, so try sending out a grass-resistant Pokemon (but not a fighting-weak one, as it knows drain punch too). Roserade is rather fast, in addition to having giga drain and leftovers, meaning that it can be a massive pain in the arse unless you take it out fast; it also has extrasensory and hidden power fire for coverage, but its physical defense is surprisingly low, so a good physical fire- or flying-type move (like Arcanine's fire fang or Emolgas acrobatics) can make short work of it. Finally, Fern's Ferrothorn is a lot easier than it looks, as it has a crippling 4x weakness to fire-type moves and thus can be wiped out by a single strong fire-type attack.

After beating Fern, he says he got the key from Cain, who he describes as "freaky", thus adding homophobia to the list if reasons we should hate him. Before we go out and fight Cain, however, there are a few things we can do with Rock Smash:

- Explore some more of the cave beneath the Grand Stairway, and get both a mining kit and a Solrock/Lunatone.

- Check out the Railnet beneath the Obsidia Ward and get some new Pokemon. Don't bother looking for the key to the slums, though; Commander removed it because he deemed Scraggy too strong. If you really want it, you can revert back to regular Pokemon Reborn, but the event is unchanged.

- Explore Amertine Mountain near the old power plant, and get a Smoochum by beating the Beartic (which I think is higher-leveled, but isn't really changed) and a Croagunk by showing it Corey's ring.

- Investigate the cave near the graveyard in the Beryl Ward, and get a link stone, a Nidorina, and a few Nuzleaf (the Nuzleaf only appear on a windy day, and you have to fight a boss first; I'm not sure if the boss was changed from the vanilla game, so you guys will have to let me know.

- This doesn't require Rock Smash, but if you joined the Magma/Aqua Gang, you can fight the leader of the opposite gang. BE WARNED: THEY'RE THE FIRST TRAINERS YOU CAN FIGHT WHO HAVE MEGAS. I'll briefly discuss them here:

KYOGRE WRESTLER ARCHER

So, Mightyena is fairly easy, but it has a focus sash and has moxie, so try not to let it KO any of your Pokemon, or you might be in trouble. Politoed isn't all that bad, but it is rather bulky and I'm pretty sure it knows ice beam, so bring the strongest electric-type you have. I'm actually not sure if he has Seaking or another Pokmeon (it's been a long time since I faced him), but if he does, try to use a good grass-type move against it, as it has lightning rod. Crobat should be familiar (you did fight Corey's Crobat, after all), but it has a more physical moveset, with moves like cross poison. Like last time, a steel-type will work wonders here. Mega Sharpedo hits like a truck especially with its Strong Jaw-boosted crunch, but luckily it's fairly frail, so try hitting it with special electric-type moves or priority moves. Finally, if the rain is still up, Blastoise can slowly heal itself with rain dish, but otherwise it's pretty easy.

And on the other side, we have...

NEERRRDDD MAXWELL

Well, Mightyena and Crobat are more or less the same as Archer's, so I'll skip them for the sake of brevity. Ninetails set up the sun, and I'm fairly certain it has energy ball to deal with its weaknesses, so try to hit it hard with physical moves or paralyze it so that ground- and rock-types can outspeed it. Houndoom has thunder fang to deal with water-types, but it can't touch ground-types, so try using those. Mega Camerupt is a massive pain, as it has a wide range of very powerful attacks to whack you with; it's very slow, though, so if the sun's worn off, you can do massive damage to it with water-type moves. Finally, Charizard is a beat if the sun is up, but otherwise, it's fairly tame.

Anyway, with all of that over with, it's time to go to Cain, who's at the Beryl Cemetery. He says that he doesn't like people meeting his family, but decides to let us have the key if we beat him (not like that, you pervert). Anyway, this leads to:

EVERYBODY'S FAVORITE BI GUY

Samurott has swords dance, and its aerial ace is boosted by the field; do not use a grass-type against it. Instead, use a speedy electric-type that can take it out before it sets up a swords dance, and if it uses dig swap out to a flying-type. Muk can use acid armor to patch up its weaker physical defense, and it knows poison jab, ice punch, and shadow sneak; try to use a steel-type like Klang or Mawile, as it can resist most of what it has to offer. Nidoking is a beast, with sheer power-boosted earth power and sludge wave, as well as superpower and ice beam. The field boosts icy wind, though, so if you have a Pokemon that knows icy wind, try using it. Otherwise, just send out a water-type. Venomoth has quiver dance, and the field boosts its silver wind, so I'd recommend taking it down fast with physical flying- or fire-type moves. Finally, Haunter is surprisingly tough for an unevolved Pokemon, as it has great speed and special attack. It doesn't have many options for dealing with steel- or dark-types, though, so one of those could be helpful.

Anyway, just as Cain's about to give us the key to his heart, Heather appears and runs off, prompting him to follow even though it would have taken him all of two seconds AND WHY DIDN'T HE GIVE US THE KEY ARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH (cough) Um, sorry. Anyway, on her way to her friend Shelly's house, she bumps into Dr. Sigmund, and since she's technically an orphan now, he confiscates her and starts pumping her full of electricity. This prompts Cain, Shelly, and us to orchestrate a prisionbreak (or, well, orphanage-break) and get her out. Unfortunately, despite being the biggest part of the episode, there aren't any major bosses fought during it, so I'll give you the td;lr version: with the help of the gym leader orphans mentioned in the previous post, we fight our way to Heather and save her, but she's gone catatonic and refuses to talk. Charlotte (the fire gym leader, who Cain calls asks to be his prince) says her sisters have a house in the Adventurine Region where they can lay low for a while, but we need to get Shade to activate the power plant for us. After traversing his gym and watching four people's deaths on the screens in the power plant (including Corey), he challenges us.

FIFTY SHADES OF GHOST

Well, I'm not gonna beat around the bush: Shade is BRUTAL. Seriously, even on my normal playthrough, it took me at least 15 tries! He leads with Rotom, and it knows discharge, shadow ball, confuse ray, and thunder wave; its shadow balls get boosted by the field, so try to bait it with an electric-weak Pokemon and swap out to something that can resist a discharge. You could also try using Aromatisse, which can set up calm mind, tank most hits thanks to its special bulk, and do massive damage with a moonblast. Golurk is surprisingly bulky, and can break the field with earthquake if Rotom fixed it, as well as hit water-types with thunder punch. The good news is that I don'tthink it can hit ice-types, so a good ice-type is invaluable here. Shade's Mega Gengar is a massive pain... and also named Corey... LIKE THAT GUY WHO DIED! and then I became skeleton and wrote this Anyway, Corey can do massive damage with shadow ball, thunderbolt, or dazzling gleam if the field is still up. It becomes grounded when it Mega Evolves, though, so it's particularly weak to ground-type moves and sucker punch; Camerupt works particularly well in this regard, as it can tank most of what Mega Gengar throws at it and KO it with an earth power. Aegislash is also a pain, what with being able to set up king's shield and priority in shadow sneak, plus brick break to hit dark types. It'll take a great deal of damage from a ground- or fire-type move, though, so try to hit it with those once it enters sword mode. Dusknoir is a nightmare, as it has shadow claw (a move it can't normally learn) and has earthquake to break the field in addition to being extremely bulky. It even has brick break to deal with dark-types, so try using a good fairy-type, which can tank most of what it has to throw. Finally, Shade's ace, Chandelure, is fairly tricky, as it has good STAB attacks in flamethrower and shadow ball, as well as energy ball and HP ELectric to hit water-types. It's got nothing for dark-types, though, so try using those.

Anyway, after beating Shade, he reveals that he can talk (my personal headcanon is that he talks in Morgan Freeman's voice), and shows us the doors opening where our friends are... only for Sirius, the guy from back in the Mosswater Factory, to come out. Turns out he's working with Doctor Sigmund, and he kidnaps everybody except Cain. Goodie.

I probably made a lot of mistakes in this one, so mock me mercilessly in the discussion thread!

Edited May 31, 2016 by Lord Chespin

[Lord Chespin]

Chapter VI: It's Getting Hot In Here, So Take On All Your Foes

Remember when I said in the last part that it was a long time coming? I was a little preemptive in that statement. Seriously, I bet you thought Episode 16 would come out before the next part of this guide! (Okay, just got to cross off "Make fun of Ame" on my To-Do list...) Anyway, let's get to it!

So, after watching our friends get mercilessly ripped away from us, your first reaction might be to rush down and see if we could save them. Well, you'd be stupid, because we just fought Shade and our Pokemon are all weak from fighting. What if there was an ambush, huh? Heal them first, then go after the Meteors. Good news: No Meteors. Bad News: No Cain, who ran off. We do find Victoria, though, who tells us to run after Cain and get the key to the Wasteland from him before he gets too far away. However, when you find him at the Coral Ward, he's too busy trying to get to Apophyll Academy, where the HM (or TMX, as this game calls them) for Strength is. Since he needs the HM for strength to get past the debris he made when fending off the grunts, he Leroy Jenkins-es it up and sails away on his Muk, leaving us with no leads... until the plot, which abhors a vacuum, has Amaria come out of her dock-warehouse-thingie and ask us if we'd like to help her storm Team Meteor's other factory in the Peridot Ward: the Blackwater Factory. Naturally, with no real other option, we accept.

After meeting Amaria at the factory, she has her Lapras make a staircase out of water and freeze it (which somehow has perfectly formed and non-slippery steps). At the top, we get into a double battle with two grunts; however, Amaria must be a zealous level-grinder, as she has a level 80 Lapras, which will annihilate the grunts regardless of what yo do. The grunts do what any sane human being would do and panic, calling their boss in. After Amaria gets cornered by Grunts and blasts a temporary path for us to go to, we meet said boss- and surprise, it's Solaris, the guy who monologed to us in the ruins beneath the Grand Staircase! Except not surprise, because that guy was pretty shifty anyway. He then dumps us down a trash chute into a room full of cages, which were stolen from the Day Care center. Luckily, there are just enough Pokemon for us to break out in a puzzle that I'm sure somebody else has explained, allowing us to storm the factory (although you should make sure to pick up that Ditto). After beating up all the grunts (including new elite grunts, we can enter the main atrium, where we find the second PULSE Pokemon in this game: PULSE Muk, which goes from a blob of gunk to a blob of gunk with concrete in it. We also meet ZEL and Solaris again, and Solaris tries to kill us in what is actually a rather clever ploy that only failed because of Amaria and our plot armor. However, he notices Amaria's Sapphire Bracelets and gets into a fight with her over them, and ZEL decides to take us out. This leads to...

WHAT THE MUK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING

ZEL's Glaceon can hit rather hard, but any good fire, rock, steel or fighting STAB attack can break through it fairly well. Try to use special attacks on it, as its special defense is a lot lower than its other stats. ZEL added a Flareon to their team, even though they still only have three personalities; maybe there's a second silent personality named Herpi? Flareon is probably the easiest Pokemon to deal with; it just knows flare blitz, iron tail, quick attack, and dig, so it can't really touch a water-type. Jolteon has hyper voice, signal beam, and an electric-type STAB, probably thunderbolt (can't remember it, sorry), so a good ground-type can wrk wonders. The PULSE Muk is surprisingly tough; it has a good special attack, protean so all of its moves are STAB moves, and great coverage in discharge, sludge wave, mud bomb, and water pulse. The use of water pulse means that you can't use ground-types on it, so I'd recommend starting with a decently fast psychic type and rolling with the punches as it constantly changes types. ZEL's Espeon is fast and powerful, and can heal itself with morning sun, but it has awful defense, so you can do quite a bit of damage to it with a sucker punch or shadow sneak. Finally, Umbreon has insane bulk, recovery in moonlight, confuse ray and double team just for being annoying, and leftovers, meaning it just. Won't. Die. Fortunately, it's very susceptible to taunt and has lower defense than special defense, so you can do quite a bit of damage to it with a good fighting-type move. Just don't use status moves on it, as it has synchronize to bounce them back at you.

After their defeat, ZEL apologizes to Solaris, only for him to throw a tantrum like a little baby and have his Tyranitar attack Amaria with a superpower, breaking several ribs. He then retreats, and an injured Amaria, grateful for our help, gives us the key to her boat before leaving, letting us reach Apophyll Academy! Once we make it there, we meet Kiki, a Zen Buddhist and the fighting-type gym leader. Victoria briefs her on the situation, and rather than just give us the freaking HM, she makes us take the one ring and throw it into the fires of Mount Doom. Just kidding; she makes us fight her best student, Cal. Cal used to be the fire-type gym leader, so isn't fighting him on top of a volcano kind of skewing the battle in his favor? Eh, whatever. After climbing the volcano and meeting him face to face, he tells us how he always lived in the shadow of his older brother Blake, let his rage drive him while he was a gym leader, and used to know Shelly before he did something to her that turned her into the timid girl she is today. After all this monologing, he finally fights us.

SPIT HOT FYAH

Cal's Infernape can do quite a bit of damage with close combat and mach punch, but it's very frail, so a good psychic- or flying-type move can take it out very, very fast. Mega Charizard X is less scary than it looks; its strongest STAB attack is dragon claw, and it has relatively weak moves like wing attack and fire fang. However, don't underestimate it, as it has tough claws and a good attack stat. A bulky rock-type like Golem can work wonders here, and now might be a good time to set up stealth rock. Typhlosion can set up sunny day, which lets its fellow fire-types do tons of damage, and has solar beam and a power herb to counter rock-, ground-, and water-types. A good idea is to use another fire-type, like Camerupt, against it, but don't use fire-type moves: it has flash fire. Delphox is deceptively fast, and can hit hard with moves like shadow ball, psychic, and flamethrower; however, a good dark-type like Houndoom can prey on its low special defense with a sucker punch. Blaziken is a beast if you leave it alive for too long thanks to speed boost, so try to KO it fast with a bulky psychic-type like Gothitelle or Musharna. Finally, his ace, Magmortar, can do tons of damage with a blast burn or a thunderbolt, but you can take advantage of its low speed and KO it with a faster ground-type like Dugtrio, or wait for it to use blast burn, then finish it off with a rock- or ground-type attacker.

With Cal defeated, we head back to Kiki, who is lying on the floor with Victoria standing over her. Turns out she has a terminal disease, and is dying; regardless, she still upholds her end of our bargain, and lets us battle her. With this sobering display of selflessness, we follow her out and GOD DAMN IT VICTORIA. Yes, Victoria, despite actual orphans' lives being at stake here, still doesn't want us to battle Kiki and makes us fight her first. (groan) Well, here we go...

WHY THIS AGAIN

Scrafty can hit rather hard and has a rocky helmet, but it still falls pretty fast to a stronger fighting-type move, like a high jump kick from the Medicham you can get at Apophyll Academy. Heracross can be dangerous if you let it KO one of your Pokemon thanks to moxie, but it can't take a flying-type attack, so use those to take it down fast. Emboar is pretty threatening, as it knows superpower, flare blitz, and sucker punch, and can shrug off stat drops with its white herb; however, a bulky water-type or fast flying- or psychic-type can deal massive damage to it thanks to its weak defenses. Poliwrath is kind of a joke; it can target flying- and grass-types with an ice punch, but it's relatively frail. Be careful with Hariyama, though, as it can set up belly drum and sweep your entire team if you give it half the chance. Try to knock it down to half health before it uses belly drum, and you'll be fine. Finally, her Mega Gallade is by far her most threatening Pokemon on her team: it has shadow sneak for priority, swords dance to make itself super-duper powerful, and brick break and psycho cut as STAB attacks. However, a good fairy-type can resist most of what it has to throw at you and KO it back with STAB attacks.

Finally, with Victoria down, she reluctantly lets us battle Kiki while pouting in the corner like a brat. In case you couldn't tell, I don't really like Victoria. Fortunately, now we can fight...

YAY BEATING UP THE TERMINALLY ILL

The thing you should know about Kiki going into her battle is that you shouldn't use flying-types against her, or at least not specially-attacking flying-types. This is because the field she uses will lower the accuracy of all Pokemon when a special flying-type move is used, and most of her Pokemon are able to break through the accuracy-lowering thanks to their abilities and the field. However, the field boosts the power of the move psychic, meaning that psychic-types can deal with her team pretty well. Machamp can boost its attack to sky-high levels with a meditate, as meditate's effect is tripled by the field; however, it has pretty low physical bulk, so a speedy physically-based flying type (like Emolga, for instance) can do massive damage with an acrobatics or a similar move. Just watch out for stone edge. Toxicroak has a nasty 4x weakness to psychic, but it has sucker punch and a focus sash; however, if you have a bulky psychic-type like Musharna, now might be a good time to set up calm mind, which is also amplified by the field. Scrafty is more or less the same as Victoria's; just use a good fighting-type move and you'll be fine. Hitmonlee can do insane damage with a field-boosted, type-changed, normal-gem-boosted (sure have used a lot of hyphens in this paragraph, haven't I?) strength, which also gets STAB due to becoming a psychic/fighting-type move. I'm also pretty sure it has knock off, so try to be careful with your psychic types. It has a low defense, though, so try to use your physical flying-type again. Her Lucario gets a big ol' buff to its aura sphere thanks to the field, but a faster fighting- or fire-type like Primeape or most of the fire-type starters can outspeed it and KO it due to its low defenses. Finally, her Mega Medicham is a beast. It gets a massive attack and speed boost, has priority in bullet punch, coverage in ice punch, a good STAB attack in drain punch, and a boosting move in meditate, meaning that you'll be hard-pressed to KO it if it gets going. Try paralyzing or burning it on the turn it mega evolves, then wail on it with physical flying-types or fairy-types.

And so, with Kiki defeated, we earn... jack diddly squat. The power of plot convenience causes Kiki to pass out, and after regaining consciousness she completely freaks out, revealing just how terrified she is of dying. The poor thing just wants to be left alone for a while, but she doesn't even give us her badge; I mean, I know she's terminally ill, but isn't that more incentive for us to get her badge before she dies? No? Okay...

Celebrate my triumphant return in the comment thread, minions! Mwahahahaha!

Edited May 31, 2016 by Lord Chespin

[Lord Chespin]

Chapter VII, Part I: Volcanic Fallout

Boy, this update's really, really been a long time coming, huh? Sorry about that; I got distracted by my water-type monotype run. However, my personal life's not important: what you guys want is a comprehensive guide giving you hints, tips and occasional jokes about Star Trek toilets, and that's what you'll get (sans the whole toilet thing)! Let's get going!

So, if you recall, in the last chapter Cain rode his Muk to Apophyll in an effort to get the HM for strength. However, he never showed up. I mean, I'd just assume he fell off and died in the lake sludge, but Victoria makes us find him. Which is cool; Cain's pretty much the only rival I like. So, head back to the boat we used to get to Apophyll in the first place, and you'll notice a new destination option: Azurine Island. Heading there will take us to a (relatively) small marshy island, where we find one of Cain's earrings! Don't bother worrying about it, though; it never comes up again. Heck, how did it even come off of his ear in the first place? Eh, probably shouldn't think about it too hard. After exploring the island for a bit, you'll come across a shack with a light shard outside. Healing items outside weird buildings: a sure sign that $#@%'s about to go down. Inside, we find- surprise, surprise- Aster and Eclipse. And for once, you don't fight them with a partner. They immediately take the opportunity to gang up on you.

CHIVALRY IS DEAD

So, one thing you might notice about Aster and Eclipse's team at a glance is that it's depressingly weak to grass- and water-type attacks. A good grass-type like Leavanny, Ludicolo, or Amoongus, as well as a good water-type like Gastrodon, Quagsire (which you can catch outside on the island), or Crawdaunt can do a number on their team with their STAB moves. Quagsire, Swampert, Gastrodon, and Seismitoad are particularly good choices, as they learn the spread move muddy water, which tears through Aster and Eclipse's team like butter. Anyway, Lunatone can use cosmic power to make itself bulkier, but it still falls fast to a good super-effective physical STAB attack, like Crawdaunt's knock off and Leavanny's leaf blade. However, you might want to take out Solrock first, as it has solarbeam and a power herb to take out water-types; luckily, it's slow, and has a crippling weakness to special attacks. Aster's Rhypherior is somewhat more competent than his Rhyhorn, but it's still kinda underwhelming; it'll go down fast to a grass- or water-type attack. Eclipse's Milotic, however, is surprisingly bulky, and gets even bulkier once it activates Marvel Scale with its flame orb. Luckily, this also puts it on a timer, chipping away at its health. It has blizzard, so try to get your grass-types to KO it fast. Aster's ace, Electivire, as sorta slow and has awful defenses, but it hits like a truck and can paralyze with thunder wave, so try to take it out fast before it can attack. Finally, Eclipse's ace, Magmortar, has great coverage and can hit water-types with a thunderbolt, so try to make targeting it your number-one priority.

After beating Aster and Eclipse, Aster spills the beans and reveals that Cain's somewhere in the building. Interacting with a machine in the back will reveal a passageway deep into the facility, where you'll find a path that branches out to a healing machine and a PC. Use them. Trust me, trying to tackle this next fight without healing is suicide. Anyway, after the healing machine and PC we find Taka and some grunts, as well as Cain and a Camerupt in a cage. Kinky. Taka reveals that Team Meteor's planning to make Pyrous Mountain go boom with a PULSE Camerupt, and reluctantly fights us to stop us from warning everybdy.

BUT DADDY I DON'T WANNA BLOW UP APOPHYLL

Taka's Klefki is a pretty good lead; it can set up spikes before you can even KO it thanks to prankster, cripple your Pokemon with a thunder wave, and can pull off the swagplay wombo combo. Try using a ground-type against it, and remember that one good powerful ground- or fire-type move can take it out pretty fast. Floatzel isn't as bad as it looks; sure, it hits hard with its life orb, but you'd need an electron microscope to see its paper-thin defenses. Just use an electric-type Pokemon (it has ice punch to deal with grass-types), and you'll be fine. Cradily is a defensive juggernaut, and it has ancientpower and giga drain for decent offensive options, but it doesn't really handle repeated super-effective attacks (like fighting- or steel-type attacks) very well. Basically, just use something similar to what you did for Florina's Cradily, and you'll be fine. Taka's Gliscor is a bit of a pain, as it has acrobatics for everything it outspeeds and bulldoze for everything that doesn't; however, since it's running acrobatics that means it's not using toxic boost. Try to use an ice-type like Vanilluxe or Jynx to take advantage of its 4x weakness to ice, or a water-type like Quagsire if you don't have an ice-type. Aerodactyl is brutally fast and has a rather high attack of 105, so outspeeding it's kind of out of the question. Just use a bulky Pokemon that can tank its moves and retaliate with a super-effective move, like Klang or Ampharos. FInally, his ace, Chatot, is surprisingly brutal. It traded hyper voice for the nastier boomburst, and still has the ever-annoying chatter. It even has nasty plot to muscle past walls, and heat wave to hit steel-types. Use a bulky ghost-type like Cofagrigus and burn it, or use a bulky electric-type like Ampharos to paralyze it.

Anyway, after beating Taka and freeing Cain, both of you tell Victoria and Kiki what went down. Everybody but Kiki leaves to take on Team Meteor at Pyrous Mountain, and after Cain has his Nidoking punt a guard off a cliff and a brief team-up with Victoria we reach the summit. Cain's already lost to Solaris, and as Victoria prepares to engage Taka we find out that he's Solaris' son! Plot twist, I guess. Anyway, Solaris takes us on, and you might notice a small change to Solaris' dialogue: rather than say, "it won't take more than a single Pokemon to delete them", he says "my Pokemon won't even get a scratch on them". That's because there's good news and bad news. The good news is that Commander lowered the level of Solaris' Garchomp, so that it's only Level 50. The bad news is, SOLARIS NOW HAS A FULL TEAM OF POKEMON, AND ALL BUT ONE OF THEM ARE ABOVE THE LEVEL CAP! You can still throw the fight and the story will go on as normal, but if you're like me and want the best ending, you won't accept defeat for an answer. You'll strive to take on his whole team, and you will reset and reset until the stars align and you win. Well, my friend, this is the guide for you.

QUICK SOMEBODY PLAY MEGALOVANIA

If I had one major recommendation for this fight, it'd be to fight him in the rain. This will weaken his fire-type coverage moves to roughly normal damage, prevent yourself from lighting the field on fire (which is good, as most of his Pokemon are resistant to fire-type damage), and would boost your water-type moves to roughly normal damage. Since most of his Pokemon are physically-oriented, I'd also recommend a physically bulky Pokemon (like Cofagrigus, Quagsire, or Gourgeist) or a Pokemon that can boost its defense, such as Iron Defense Forretress, Acid Armor Muk, Cotton Guard Ampharos, Bulk Up Throh, or Coil Arbok or (if you don't mind going over level) Eelektross. Anyway, his lead, Scizor, is probably his easiest Pokemon to deal with: despite holding an Occa berry, it falls fast to a fire-type move and can be set up upon easily. Since Solaris retains his four Full Restores from Vanilla Reborn here, try to get him to use up most of his Full Restores on this guy. His Garchomp, however, is probably his toughest Pokemon: it's fast, hits like a truck, and has its biggest weakness- Ice-type attacks- neutered by the field. Try to burn it if you can, and use fairy-types like Slurpuff, Aromatisse, or Granbull (Granbull gets a special mention, as it can lower Garchomp's attack with an intimidate). Solaris' Gyrados is probably tougher than it looks; it has dragon dance and earthquake for electric-types, but its other two moves (waterfall and outrage) get nerfed by the field. Burn or paralyze it and use electric-type moves against it; an air balloon (if you can get one) is probably a good idea. Tyranitar has great special bulk under the sand it creates and can do massive damage with its STABs and superpower, but a good ol' fighting-type (like the Medicham you get from Apophyll Academy) can take it out fast, so don't worry too much about it. What you should worry about is his Excadrill: it may be only level 44, but under the sand and after (heck, sometimes even before) a swords dance it can sweep teams. Change the weather or stall out the sand if you can, and fight back with a good ground-type like Quagsire. Finally, his Mandibuzz is more annoying than hard. It can't do too much damage, and can only really hope to stall out your by now weakened team with toxic and roost. Use a good electric- or fairy-type to take it out.

After a grueling battle, Solaris finally loses... and acts like a schoolyard bully and says it doesn't really matter. Kiki then comes in and attempts to stop the PULSE with her Medicham, but Cal reveals he was working with Solaris the whole time and has his Magmortar catch Kiki's Medicham and throw it into the lava, causing it to look oddly like the legendary Terminator 2: Judgement Day scene where the Terminator gives the thumbs-up while lowering himself into molten iron. Solaris then has his Garchomp kill Kiki.

...I don't even have a joke for that. That was just needlessly cruel.

Fortunately, this causes Cal to snap out of it, realize that what he's doing is wrong, give an actually pretty badass speech to Solaris in which he decides to finally start doing the right thing, and have his Magmortar destroy the PULSE, saving everyone. Solaris then continues to act like a schoolyard bully by claiming he's done nothing and killed his own teacher, when in actuality it was Solaris who killed Kiki. What a brat. He and Taka then run off, leaving us with Kiki's corpse and tons of regret.

...Y'wanna know how I got these scars why I hate Victoria so much? Because after Cal just stuck the middle finger at Solaris and saved the day, Victoria brutally verbally tears him apart and refuses to associate with him ever again. She doesn't even give him the chance to explain that he sabotaged the machine, so that it wouldn't go off! Yes, I know she just lost a major figure in her life, but she completely ignored the fact that it was Cal, not Kiki, who saved the day this time! Kiki just walked in, failed miserably, and died! Sure, it was a valiant effort, but it was because of Cal, not Kiki, that Apophyll's not a big ol' crater!

...Ugh... We're only halfway through the chapter, and I still have a ton of battles to talk about, so I guess I'll have to split this into two parts. See you all (hopefully) next time!