Air Balloon

[NickCrash]

In light of the most recent Pokemon announcement, I cannot help but voice my thoughts.

I'm about to say something controversial, but I think that it will spur some healthy debate: latex is a highly underutilized material. Case in point is the Air Balloon item. For too long this extraordinary device has been inappropriately used by neurotic, seismophobic "Trainers". Pretty pathetic. I mean, having Pokémon dodge a seemingly spontaneous 8.2 magnitude quake has got its upsides, but it's also a trite application of an otherwise versatile little tool. Think of the world that opens up when you've got Pokémon floating about in high places. That Super Repel you've been eyeballing atop that inconveniently placed ledge? It's yours. Just tie the Air Balloon around one of your Pokémon's torsos (careful, the yarn is pretty low-grade stuff) and let the retrieval begin. You've got latex technology, so you might as well use it. I would recommend attaching the Air Balloon to a Pokémon you aren't particularly emotionally attached to, as without proper precautions, your now-floating Pokémon may soon become a new resident of the cosmos.

Always bring a Pokémon with an attacking move (me, I use a pretty nifty Stunfisk with Thunder Shock) to try to pop the Air Balloon before your Pokémon ascends to the mesosphere. I recommend using either Lunatone or Solrock for your Air Balloon fetching fun, as if they end up in space from your balloon-based antics, they will at least feel at home at their destination. You can't say the same for your space bound Electrike ("it has got ZERO weaknesses now," you said), who probably does not appreciate the oxygen-deprived nature of the solar system. Compassion is key.

[Sutoratosu]

Or , you know...instead of all this convoluted non-sense of relying on some utterly uncertain, eccentric route as tying a giant balloon to one of your team members, you could just opt for the more sensible method of using literally anything that's capable of either flight or levitation to retrieve the out of reach object in question... or you could just get a psychic type to bring it down with telekinesis...

but, you know what, naaaaah... who needs any of that? Just tie the balloon on that bad boy and pray to bird jesus everything turns out well...and your chosen attacker has a decent aim. What, landing? Who cares about the landing?

but no, seriously... there are just so many other methods for this scenario that are far more controllable and less likely to end in disaster and/or the need to go and find a new team member to replace the now deceased one you heartlessly sent out to die amongst the stars, just like the early russian space program

so yeah... why don't we just keep the balloons where they belong for now- on the battlefield.