Away from your childhood home

[Cool Girl]

So, I was born in Paris and moved to the US when I was 6. I am now 16. When I moved to the US, it didn't really affect me. I was actually really excited. Also, I was really young so I guess I didn't know that we moved. Throughout the years, it wasn't a problem. I was really happy because I really love being in America. Now, I miss it so much. I miss growing up there. Even though I was bullied in my school in France, I still love it over there. I still try to visit over the summer, but it feels like it's not enough to me. It feels like I actually want to live there. I don't just want to visit, I want to go back there and live there. It's even harder on me because my parents don't really understanding the feeling that I'm going through. They jokingly asked me wanna go back there? Days later, I replied to them yes and they said they were joking. It hurt me really bad. Even when I moved to the US, things were really bad. I was bullied at school still. I really really miss France. I want to go back there.

So, this is my question, how do you deal with home-sickness? (And yes, I wrote this while crying because that is how much I miss France)

Edited April 10, 2016 by Cool Girl

[DW~]

Well, I was born in Westchester,NY, but moved to LI when I was 4, it really didn't effect me much, since I was too young to remember. However, I do understand your feels. Maybe you can go to Paris when you have the means to do so, or ask your family if you can go there for vacation? That might help with the homesickness~

[Cool Girl]

Yeah, but I feel like a vacation is not good enough, I want to go back there and grow up there.

[Combat]

I'm in college right now, so I kind of know how you feel. My freshman year was the hardest, since it was all a new experience for me, but now, I've learned to live with the hand I'm given. For now, I think you're going to have to live with your current location, since it would be unwise to move to France at your current age. The love for ones original home is surely a calling we all feel, but for now, I feel like you may need to live with going on trips to France. You could start planning for the future of course, as it will provide you with a distraction and help fuel your determination to return, but for now, you'll need to play the waiting game. It is also possible that time will heal you're wounds, and that eventually you will lose this urge, but since I'm me and you are you, I can't say for sure.

Home is where the heart is, but is it where the soul is?

[DW~]

I couldn't agree any more with you, Combat. I don't have any means to return to my birth home at all. Also, not to come off as mean, but I'm not sure if you can grow up in France, CG. In two years, you'll be considered an adult, and you are expected to act like one already in school. We all want to stay the way we are, but the world does not dictate it that way. Soon, even I will be a mature and semi-responsible person. If you are homesick by the time that you want to go to college (If you want to go), why not go to school there?

Edited April 10, 2016 by TheDW66

[Cool Girl]

Thanks for your advice, guys!

Edited April 10, 2016 by Cool Girl

[Felicity]

When I was 8 or so I got uprooted to a certain extent. Not anything so dramatic as moving to a whole new country. I didn't even move town. I just moved school and hopped between houses with my mother and sister.

What makes this relevant is that the moving all culminated in essentially cutting ties with my life as it had been at the time. Social networking was not what it is now and even then I wouldn't sign up for that until many years later. So I essentially lost contact with all my old friends. Couple that with the growing distance between myself and my father, recently divorced from my mother, and it felt like half my life was ripped away with a jagged blade, all left in the old places I used to frequent. My school, my friends houses, my first home I had lived in for 8 years. I still wonder about what could have been with that.

Then I look at what I have now. I see the friends who are with me now, my family who were with me all this time, the parts of life that keep me rooted, but not chained, to the life I have now and I realise that it doesn't matter. I have a place already and thinking about leaving it all doesn't do me much good.

So before wishing ever so fervently to move away I suggest you think about what keeps you where you are or maybe even what drives you away. Don't tear your own heart out over a wickedly painful little desire when you might already have what you want right under your nose. The grass is always greener on the other side.

[Cool Girl]

Thanks! That's really good advice!

[Ironbound]

I know what you are going through. Although I was born in the city where I am currently studying and working (Hyderabad, India), so I technically am in my home town, I did spend most of my childhood around Mysore and the Malabar coast.

So I deeply miss the sea, the rain, the long beaches, the cliffs and the forests. I had many a great experience there. So yeah, I agree with Combat about that feeling of longing for a place you've spent your childhood in.

However, not everything can always be as we want it to be all the time.

It now, it mayn't be feasible to uproot the entire household and shift grounds, especially if you're happy and well settled where you are. Perhaps you can visit Paris once in a while on vacation, to enjoy the feel of it again. But for now, remember the larger picture innlife and your responsibility towards your parents and their expectations from you. Eventually, when you are settled in life, what stops you from returning to Paris? You're only 16, as you say. Keep hope alive! One day you'll go wherever you please, but you've to work at it.

C'est la Vie, you know, and all that.

[Felicity]

And considering it was immediately upvoted in the incredibly short space of time it takes me to click onto my profile page as I habitually do before heading to the community forums, yes I know it's a strange, narcissistic habit, I have to question if you even read it.

I will also note that you put up a couple, well, emotional topics in these forums. Whilst I don't want to give any offence, inevitable I feel that may be, I have to question if these issues are attempts at inciting a reaction and seeking some attention. If that's the case you may just need to vent and have somebody properly listen. If that's the case my PM box is always open, as are the PMs of a lot of other upstanding people on these forums.

[Cool Girl]

@ Viridescent: Thank you!

@Dobby The Elf: The emotional topics that I post are not to get attention at all! The emotional topics are things that I'm going through and I just need advice and I always appreciate it. Reborn has always been like a family to me!

Edited April 10, 2016 by Cool Girl

[RainbowHugs]

Homesickness is hard, yes I know, I miss Yorkshire (England) I miss my friends, family and everything, yes I go back there like once or twice a year, but it is hard, I missed so much being away from there, I missed being by my Uncles bed as he died, same goes for my Granddad, I wish I was back there, but sometimes it isn't that simple, we can't just wish we were back and we are there, it doesn't work that way unfortunately, but hey maybe when we are older we can move back.. Anyways, I hope your feeling okay <3

[Kagamine]

I can't relate as I've lived in the same house all 20 years of my life, and I even commute to school because living at school would give me too much anxiety, and cost an extra 40k total.

Perhaps, when you graduate high school you can go to college in France? You already know the language and have lived there, it's significantly cheaper from what I know as well. You've gotten two more years if that's the case, and it does seem like a viable option. As others have suggested, college is a very good option. And some schools have programs where you have job opportunities straight out of school, so you could work in France.

Edited April 13, 2016 by Kagamine