The Great Waifu Debate

[Shamitako]

(Psst, waifu can apply outside animation, so that's why it's here and not in the animation forum)

*Toots horn* So, there's this interesting little phenomenon initially spawned by the Japanese(?) anime community known as the "waifu." It's a highly controversial topic as to what a waifu is and how far one should be willing to take the concept. There's a few different general ways of looking at this topic. Here's how I like to categorize them (note: I'll be talking in waifu terms, but it can still be applied to husbandos or non-bina...ryus?)

Pro-Waifu Categories

She's Real to Me

• Actually considers themselves to be in love with their waifu
• Will get defensive over their waifu
• Less likely to have a waifu harem, or at least they won't put other waifus on the same level as their main one

Character Attachment

• Waifu simply refers to characters that they enjoy or connect with on an emotional level
• May desperately wish their waifu was real, but does comprehend that they aren't
• Will defend their waifu choices, but not as obsessively as the above
• Harem almost assuredly guaranteed, but not a requirement

For the Lulz

• Largely could care less about their waifu
• Waifu is simply a silly term to refer to a character they like for one reason or another
• Will likely get distracted and switch waifus easily
• Never has a proper waifu harem, not serious enough to bother remembering

But She has Bewbs

• People who gauge waifus primarily on a sexual level
• Can overlap with the other categories, but generally won't

Fetishists

• Refers to those who have taboo fetishes or things that only exist in fantasy (lolicons, siscons, whatever you call people who are into catgirls, etc) And can only find hope in waifus
• Doesn't have to be sexual. May even be closer to a platonic attachment when it comes to fantasy creatures
• Can overlap very easily with other categories

Anti-Waifu Categories

Not My Thing

• People who don't have waifus because they just don't really take an interest in the concept
• Could really care less about your waifu but doesn't mind that you have them

Weeaboo Trash

• Assume that anyone with a waifu is a "weeaboo." Which if they use the generic, "anyone who likes anything related to japan" definition of weeaboo, is probably true
• They might think you're weird, but probably didn't take the time to understand in the first place
• May occasionally actually know what weeaboo means and think you are one. In which case they're probably against you, not your waifu

Disgusting Perverts

• People who hate on waifus because they think being attracted to a 2D image is gross or stupid
• May or may not comprehend the different types of waifuism and the difference between attraction and enjoyment
• May only hate on certain types of waifuism
• May even have a waifu of their own, just not at one of the "weirder" levels

So that's how I like to look at things. I have no issue with any of the pro-waifu categories. And while the Weeaboo Trash category annoys me, The Not My Thing category and the people of the Disgusting Perverts category that are at least okay with the lower levels of waifuism. I do get frustrated with those of the Disgusting Perverts category that simply think the concept of waifuism is stupid or gross, particularly when they haven't taken the time to understand the different ways it can express itself

So, what is a waifu to you? And what limitations do you feel should be applied? Do you think someone who believes they're in love with their waifu to be disgusting? Are you in love with your waifu? Could you care less about what everyone else does? Do you feel waifus are purely superficial? Or could there be something more? Are waifus okay but fetishists gross?

I personally began as a For the Lulz waifuist and have gradually grown to be more of a Character Attachment waifuist. And to be entirely truthful, lately I've encountered a case where I almost feel like a She's Real to Me waifuist which has me questioning the barriers between reality and fantasy (that's actually what spawned this thread, in case you were curious)

With Hope,

Lexi

P.S. I'm particularly interested in hearing anti-waifu arguments, because I can't make them myself. DW, this thread is for disagreeing, not debating, so I won't jump on you over it ^^

[Skeleton]

im married to every single female dragon age romance but thats just wives i guess

i personally think of "waifu" as a character somebody likes like you just have a harem of characters you think are cool?? but its most likely not that and probably mostly associated with bullshit sex stuff that i absolutely hate in anime

and fuck those body pillows (please not literally thats my point)

tl;dr terrible also im gay

[TimTim]

I would say I am somewhere between Character Attachment type and For the Lulz type, it is more like a spectrum than a clear cut difference for me. Overall, i am a mild pro-waifuist.

[Shamitako]

im married to every single female dragon age romance but thats just wives i guess

i personally think of "waifu" as a character somebody likes like you just have a harem of characters you think are cool?? but its most likely not that and probably mostly associated with bullshit sex stuff that i absolutely hate in anime

and fuck those body pillows (please not literally thats my point)

tl;dr terrible also im gay

Well, that's one of the possible definitions of waifu. It doesn't really have a set definition, which is what this thread is about

Also, dakimakura aren't necessarily a sexual thing. Their primary, or at least original, use is as a comfort item for children. Like a teddy bear. That's not to say they can't be used sexually, just that they shouldn't necessarily be considered a sexual item by default. Personally I'd like one myself, having a large pillow to cuddle would significantly improve my sleeping. Having a cute picture (note: pointedly not a sexual one, that would ruin her image for me :c ) of Jing Wei on it would just be a bonus

I would say I am somewhere between Character Attachment type and For the Lulz type, it is more like a spectrum than a clear cut difference for me. Overall, i am a mild pro-waifuist.

Yeah, I feel I could have worded things a bit better. I actually expect things to be a spectrum. The categories are more like points to be able to find where people are across the spectrum of waifuism

[Flux]

I'd also be somewhere between For the Lulz and Character Attachment. Yuigahama is best waifu, but I obviously know she's not real and don't spend time time obsessing over her. Definitely my favorite female character in anime, and just a character I really like in general. I'll probably make a signature with her in it at some point and might do some fan art some time, but that's about as far as I go.

[Chase]

I really like how you categorized them in an order that sort of feels "least to greatest" or vise versa. It really helps with determining where I am on the spectrum.

With regards to strictly Japanese animation, I identify as Not My Thing, because I don't have quite the repertoire of anime to select a waifu from, and I don't read manga at all. There are several very interesting characters out there, but I tend to go for relating with the character over shipping myself with a character in this setting.

In general, particularly with television shows such as House M.D., I actually fall somewhere between But She's Real To Me and Character Attachment - specifically with "Thirteen". Her preference for women is sort of my statute of limitations, meaning that it's the issue that brings her "not realness" to the fore and prevents me from obsession. On the other hand, I do believe the character to be charming and Olivia Wilde's appeal to be real, keeping me from joke interest.

[Raindrop Valkyrie]

The thing is... I'm highly opposed to it in the sense that I have NOOOO want to be a part of it. I don't oppose the idea in what it is, and am not going to tell someone to not... but I wouldn't consider myself really of any of these categories.

I just don't think I fit any of them. The closest is the I don't care thing. But... the problem is I do get highly attached to characters ((take one look at my profile.... my avvie, my title etc etc.. at current all related to Undyne for the most part. and before that my largely Albedo related one, which I still have the siggy for. lol.))

I think moreso, is not that I don't understand it etc, but that to me it feels too constricting of a concept. It feels like I cannot really say I like a character without having a pseudo-implied relationship status etc... in the scheme of things... I just don't care to describe it in that way even in jest. Cause to me it feels strange and uncomfortable. Like SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPER uncomfortable. But anything in this nature does. Like... I hate shipping for a reason... and other simialr practices etc...

I think from a glance people would say I'm a part of the Character Attachment one... and really I am... but I'd never refer to it in that way because I like to like a character for what they are and my connection to said character through a lens that isn't so... selfish? I don't know the right word for it to be honest. But... I don't really care for the concept but... clearly am in a state where from the otuside looking in I 100% know people probably think I am. ((cosndering I get it all the time... I know people think I do.)) I'm... in a very odd position I suppose XD.

[mde2001]

I really mostly fall under not my thing. I personally have no interest in it, but that doesn't mean that I think others aren't entitled to. I'll admit that I find it hard to understand how someone would fall in love with an anime character to a point of believing that they're real- but that doesn't mean that I believe that people who do are inferior beings- it just isn't my thing at all (this really isn't intended as an attack or saying that I can't understand these people at all).

Really the only time where it begins to annoy me is when people get to a point of refusing to speak to me because I can't see how beautiful their waifu is (this has actually happened with a few acquaintances at school), and when people try to flood me with images of sexualised anime characters (not trying to say that all waifus are sexualised) as they make me feel kind of uncomfortable. This doesn't mean I have a problem with other people sharing them in the server lobby and so on (provided that they aren't explicit), I just won't click on the links.

So enjoy your waifus, it just isn't something I'm into.

[Tomas Elliot]

You... You really have a lot of time in your hands, don't you?

Regardless, I am the kind of guy who grows VERY attached to the characters of a game, to the point of imagining how I, the real life Tomas, would act if I lived in the game's world and were to interact with its characters. And being the perv that I admittedly am, of course this goes double when female characters are involved. Games that include dating sim elements are the ones I enjoy the most, after all.

This being said, all the above ends the moment I switch my PC/Vita off: I only get emotionally involved in a game for as long as I am actually playing it, my real life is way too busy for me to spare any time for, you know, thinking about anything that is not uni. Come to think of it, this probably makes uni my waifu.

I wonder were I stand in your categories? Incidentally, I specifically talked about games because I don't own a television, and I can only watch that many shows in streaming (what with my very limited internet key offer), so yeah, I don't dedicate enough time to anime/TV shows/whatever to get to the same level of involvement.

[Pyon Pyon Kyuu!~]

I'm incredibly attached to my waifus. They are real; Chitoge, Maki, Ringo, Yui, Nao, and others. They all exist and I love every single one of them. However while I fit perfectly in your first category, (She's Real To Me) I have a hierarchical harem. I've talked to all of them, and they are all okay with it; it's a polyamorous relationship. They love me and I love every single one of them. Chitoge Kirisaki is the Alpha of my harem, she is the "main waifu". This doesn't mean I love her more than the others, it's just that she has a seat of honor next to me. After that, the waifus have different jobs and duties but they are all, of course, equally valuable in kokoro.

edit I swear to god if someone takes me seriously and doesn't realize I'm trolling I will adopt and maim a small Sealandish child

[Shamitako]

I'd also be somewhere between For the Lulz and Character Attachment. Yuigahama is best waifu, but I obviously know she's not real and don't spend time time obsessing over her. Definitely my favorite female character in anime, and just a character I really like in general. I'll probably make a signature with her in it at some point and might do some fan art some time, but that's about as far as I go.

That's about what I expect most people to be like

The thing is... I'm highly opposed to it in the sense that I have NOOOO want to be a part of it. I don't oppose the idea in what it is, and am not going to tell someone to not... but I wouldn't consider myself really of any of these categories.

I just don't think I fit any of them. The closest is the I don't care thing. But... the problem is I do get highly attached to characters ((take one look at my profile.... my avvie, my title etc etc.. at current all related to Undyne for the most part. and before that my largely Albedo related one, which I still have the siggy for. lol.))

I think moreso, is not that I don't understand it etc, but that to me it feels too constricting of a concept. It feels like I cannot really say I like a character without having a pseudo-implied relationship status etc... in the scheme of things... I just don't care to describe it in that way even in jest. Cause to me it feels strange and uncomfortable. Like SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPER uncomfortable. But anything in this nature does. Like... I hate shipping for a reason... and other simialr practices etc...

I think from a glance people would say I'm a part of the Character Attachment one... and really I am... but I'd never refer to it in that way because I like to like a character for what they are and my connection to said character through a lens that isn't so... selfish? I don't know the right word for it to be honest. But... I don't really care for the concept but... clearly am in a state where from the otuside looking in I 100% know people probably think I am. ((cosndering I get it all the time... I know people think I do.)) I'm... in a very odd position I suppose XD.

TL;DR You has waifus, you just don't like the term due to the possibility of it being associated with She's Real to Me waifuism. I won't deny that the term can carry the connotations of romantic or sexual interest. But most people outside of the Weeaboo Trash category and some of the Disgusting Perverts category will understand that waifu can simply refer to liking a character or sharing an emotional attachment with them. I don't think you should feel so worried about using the term, people who are going to find the negative in its use will find the negative in your attachment to certain characters even without you using it

But to each their own. If it makes you uncomfortable to refer to characters you've become attached to as waifus, then don't refer to them as waifus

You... You really have a lot of time in your hands, don't you?

Regardless, I am the kind of guy who grows VERY attached to the characters of a game, to the point of imagining how I, the real life Tomas, would act if I lived in the game's world and were to interact with its characters. And being the perv that I admittedly am, of course this goes double when female characters are involved. Games that include dating sim elements are the ones I enjoy the most, after all.

This being said, all the above ends the moment I switch my PC/Vita off: I only get emotionally involved in a game for as long as I am actually playing it, my real life is way too busy for me to spare any time for, you know, thinking about anything that is not uni. Come to think of it, this probably makes uni my waifu.

I wonder were I stand in your categories? Incidentally, I specifically talked about games because I don't own a television, and I can only watch that many shows in streaming (what with my very limited internet key offer), so yeah, I don't dedicate enough time to anime/TV shows/whatever to get to the same level of involvement.

Actually I have like zero free time and should probably have done school things instead of writing all this

That sounds pretty much like straightforward Character Attachment waifuism

edit I swear to god if someone takes me seriously and doesn't realize I'm trolling I will adopt and maim a small Sealandish child

Oh, uh, whoops...

TBH, even if you weren't trolling I'd find nothing particularly wrong with it. It would be a bit strange to me as it seems like you're pushing your own wants onto the characters, particularly in claiming that they're all okay with it; I would not be surprised if not all of them have personalities that would be okay with it. And doing that in my mind defeats the point of She's Real waifuism, as it's destroying her realism and turning her into something you can manipulate for your own interests. Then again, perhaps to get to that level of waifuist to have a harem of real waifus, you would have to be more interested in self-fulfillment than the characters themselves

At that level of obsession, is it really about the target of your obsessions, or yourself? #theDarkSideoftheWaifu

[Combat]

I am most definitely in the For the Lulz category, with a bit of character attachment placed here and there. If some character in an anime, game, or book is a likable character, it feels wrong to immediately put them in the "waifu" category. If you actually were to grow attached to them as a character, it seems strange that someone would fall into a more "in love" state with them. I personally look at Waifus as harmless fun on the internet, aside for the more serious classes of Waifuism.

[Hiss13]

Personally, I switch between For the Lulz and Character Attachment. Like Tomas, I get attached to characters very easily.

[Deleted User]

My face when someone starts talking about 'Waifus'

[RasenShot]

I might be the odd one out here, but until recently, I was pretty much in the "Not My Thing" category and would often make harmless fun of those with a waifu. But then certain game and certain character came to me by February 2015 and my opinion on waifus changed quite a lot.

In games, I tend to either connect to my customized avatar to a "That's literally me!" level or a "Meh, just another character in the game/story" level. Guess which one was in Awakening... On my first run, I choose Cordelia and started being on the "For the Lulz" and a pinch of "Character Attachment. THEN on my 2nd run you can guess what happened. Something clicked. Since then, I've been largely on the "Character Attachment" category with a tiny approach to the last (or first) one. And for some weird reason it only happened with this game.

P.S. I've been meaning to post in this topic almost since it's creation but I could post untli now ;w;

[Shamitako]

I am most definitely in the For the Lulz category, with a bit of character attachment placed here and there. If some character in an anime, game, or book is a likable character, it feels wrong to immediately put them in the "waifu" category. If you actually were to grow attached to them as a character, it seems strange that someone would fall into a more "in love" state with them. I personally look at Waifus as harmless fun on the internet, aside for the more serious classes of Waifuism.

TBF to dakimakura, you don't have to be "She's Real" to have one

Personally, I switch between For the Lulz and Character Attachment. Like Tomas, I get attached to characters very easily.

*Fails to think of reply*

My face when someone starts talking about 'Waifus'

My face when someone goes out of their way to blow off a serious discussion that they could have simply ignored altogether

This thread is equally open to waifuists and anti-waifuists alike. You are welcome to state yourself as being within any of the anti-waifu categories. It is not, however, open to people who wish to ignore its validity instead of trying to learn about the opinions of others

I might be the odd one out here, but until recently, I was pretty much in the "Not My Thing" category and would often make harmless fun of those with a waifu. But then certain game and certain character came to me by February 2015 and my opinion on waifus changed quite a lot.

In games, I tend to either connect to my customized avatar to a "That's literally me!" level or a "Meh, just another character in the game/story" level. Guess which one was in Awakening... On my first run, I choose Cordelia and started being on the "For the Lulz" and a pinch of "Character Attachment. THEN on my 2nd run you can guess what happened. Something clicked. Since then, I've been largely on the "Character Attachment" category with a tiny approach to the last (or first) one. And for some weird reason it only happened with this game.

P.S. I've been meaning to post in this topic almost since it's creation but I could post untli now ;w;

I can relate to this feeling to an extent. My descent into waifuism has been much more gradual, but that feeling of a sudden "click" with a certain character is something I get

[The Swordsman]

I guess a lower form of Character Attachment? For me a waifu is the girl my character is boyfriend/husband to in RPGs (Leliana from Dragon Age and Cordelia/Caeldori from Fire Emblem for example) I also don't do Harems as that would be wrong and I bring my Christian values to every game I play.