What are some things you hate/despise about yourself?

[pbood2]

In a thread opposite to Ame's positivity and what you like about yourself thread, I'm doing a what do you hate/despise about yourself. This is not meant to be a self-esteem breaker type of thing but instead a find and identify your flaws and problem areas so you can work on them if you want to. Also because I am in a bad and depressing mood because of the first thing that I hate about myself. I had a dream just now of a teacher I knew for 5 years in the below mentioned middle and high school who loved me as a student and person and I promised I would try to stay in touch with her a long time ago but never did and so I am sad because of this.

I hate that whenever I get close to someone always in my life then distance appears between us, I nor the other person barely make an effort to stay in touch with each other. I had friends from my private middle and high school for pete sakes and over time, I just didn't bother to keep in touch over time even though I spent 5 years with them. Another instance is where I had a health studies (my degree) friend who I have known for 5 years now and just last year, we just drifted apart. We used to text and talk about the Bachelor/Bachelorette or about our daily lives but I texted her a while ago and have gotten no response. I just really hate this about myself. I feel like because my parents like to be distant and not have too many friends, it has made me follow the same kind of thing BUT I DON'T WANT to drift apart and I love socializing and meeting with people and I DO WANT TO HAVE LOTS OF FRIENDS so HOW DO I CHANGE THIS? sigh... I realized this flaw and problem a long time ago and so recently I have tried to cling too much to people who might want their space (like the Revolution team I knew months ago) and thus cause them to get annoyed at me even though I know if I leave any distance, I just won't be motivated to care enough to stay in contact and I DON'T WANT THAT TO HAPPEN.

I also hate that I procrastinate and lull on the important things. It took me almost a month (to current date) after I finished my last university term to finally get going on some job searches because I was scared of a one page piece of paper called the cover letter and that I couldn't do it well so why bother kind of thing. Oh another thing I hate about myself is my lack of confidence and how it has affected everything I do.

Sorry Mods if this thread has already been made. I went searching through pages up to 3 months old on this subforum and didn't find any similar to this. Sorry to the community if this threads get depressing over time but maybe we can help each other figure out solutions together. At least that's a hope I have about this thread.

Thanks for reading this post and hope you post something yourself.

Have a great day/night.