EDU-Reborn -- Essay Creation Guide

[Miss Kitty]

Good morning, afternoon, and evening, folks of Reborn!

This is the very first post for a side forum for students getting ready to return to school in the next month or two. I am very pleased to be able to create guides, hints, and tips and share them with all of you to help you succeed in the classroom!

For this first post, I will be examining how to create an essay. This guide can be used to create a basis of an essay for pretty much any topic of your (or the teacher's) choice. In high school, we all dabble in creating essays, but we end up doing them all the time in college. Many who enter college without much experience in writing essays feel lost and the word count can be intimidating. Not anymore, Reborn! Take the time to read through this guide to become familiar (if you have not already) with essays and the foundation behind them. Once we understand the frame work for essays, they tend to become second nature as well as becoming very easy to write.

Essay Creation Guide.doc

This guide goes over the basics of the introduction paragraph, the body, and the conclusion of an essay with tips and tricks on how to make the best work out of your topic that makes your readers want more. Even if it is the lamest subject you could write about. Ever. We will also learn how we can make outstanding thesis statements with very simple steps as well as where this statement goes in an essay. The guide also goes over an outline that even you can use and follow for your own essays. I dabbled a bit with references, but I will be making a separate guide for references within essays in the near future. So sit still, Reborn, and hang onto your seats!

(Did my sales pitch work? )

Now that we had the time to look at how essays are created, I want YOU to write a short essay for me! Below are ten topics to choose from and all are intended to be humourous. There are no word limits or references required, however, I do require three paragraphs along with a thesis statement to check for understanding. Follow the guide for the layout. (Essay topics picked from this website: https://letterpile.com/writing/Funny-Argumentative-Essay-Topic-Ideas)

1. Why you should believe every word of an infomercial (pick your favorite)

2. What your dog is really thinking

3. Thank you, officer, I really needed that ticket

4. What would happen if cats ruled the world

5. How to pretend you are actually working

6. How to have a very awkward date

7. How to annoy your parents (or other family members)

8. Radioactive waste is your friend

9. Where all the mismatched socks go

10. How to become popular

I will go ahead and start us off with topic 4.

When I sat on my couch, I could see my majestic cat, Hazel, laying like a liquid on my dresser and I thought to myself, "She would make a great purresident for my country". I began to research what it would take to make her the president of the United States. Not too long after, we campaigned and gained hundreds of thousands of votes to make her president and we eventually won. I was promised by my cat to become Chief of State upon her presidency. Well, things happened because this cat ruled a country and I was eventually denied (or lied to) to become Chief of State. Upon reaching presidency, President Hazel overthrew all humans in the government, created an army of cats that took over the world, and made dogs slaves to the cats.

President Hazel knew about politics all too well. She turned the White House into the Cat House and hired all her friends and other cats to work for her. Before too long, President Hazel overthrew all humans that was working in politics. Now they are all replaced with cats. We now have Senator FuzzyBeans who is denying health care to humans, and Governor Bigglesworth who is being scandalous with catnip, the illegal substance. President Hazel created an army shortly afterwards that took the world by storm. China was turned into Catna, Europe became Purrope, and eventually, Earth became Furth. At this point in time, no human was in any governmental office. Rather, humans were made to pamper and continue to work to feed all cats on Furth. President Hazel soon became World Leader Hazel, leader of that Free Cat World. Now that the cats have ruled the world, they took revenge on the dogs of Furth. Sitting high and mighty, World Leader Hazel decided that the most fit punishment for all dogs on Furth was to enslave them and use them like horses. W.L. Hazel made humans put dogs outside at night, created extremely strict leash laws, and denied dogs their rights. This is a very terrible time for all of mankind and dogkind.

When Hazel reached presidency, she overthrew all humans within government, created an army of cats to help take over the world, and made dogs slaves to cats. All of this happened because of me. I wanted to make my cat the president of the United States to make it better for people. Because of my actions, there are no more humans within any government in the world. Dogs probably have it worse than the humans. I could not imagine being a dog that was made a slave to catkind, let alone being forced to live outside at night. Overall, Furth did become a better place, just not for humans or dogs.