Waifus Revisited

[Shamitako]

Ahem: Gonna talk about suicide, self-harm, and mental abuse, if that will stir up unwanted emotions for you then I ask that you please refrain from reading any further, thank you

So a while back I made a thread about the concept of the "waifu," in which I attempted to help people of varying opinions understand each other to the best of my ability. Today I want to expand upon a specific aspect of this: the idea of feeling real love for a fake person. I wish to talk about crossing the line from reality to fantasy

Let me lead off with a couple of videos which talk about this line

This honestly feels like a joke, but it does raise some worthwhile questions

And let me follow them with a disclaimer: I have come to the conclusion that it is entirely possible to feel real love towards characters from media. You're free to disagree, but I'm going to continue with this as a premise

With this in mind: Waifus. Are. Not. Real.

Even if it is possible to feel real love for them, the fact remains that they are purely a fantasy. No matter how strongly you feel about a character, they are still just a fiction. This is not an opinion, it is fact

But for some people this is clearly not as straightforward a fact as it might seem to others. Recently I've encountered several examples of people wanting to go a step further with their waifus or even going so far as to cause themselves physical harm over not being able to be with them. This latter bit is actually of interest, as it occurs in relationships with real men and women as well. One cause of self-harming is mental abuse by a romantic partner. I haven't experienced this myself so I can't speak as to the reasoning behind it, but it does occur. So then if people are causing themselves harm over waifus, does that not imply an abusive relationship?

Perhaps not in the conventional sense, as a waifu cannot actually make any effort to cause abuse, but there is a disturbing similarity. In this case the mental struggles are self-imposed, but still exist. And thus, just as love for a waifu can be real, so can this love be really unhealthy. But certainly there's a line, as there are still those who feel real love for characters yet do not fall to this form of despair. I can't give an answer as to what difference there is between those who take their lives and those who live on normally, but there certainly seems to be a difference

There's a line between reality and fantasy, and it's not blurred as some would claim. But it's also in a different place for everyone, and it's hard to realize that you've crossed it

I have come to the conclusion that there is no set point where waifuism becomes too much, it varies from person to person. Sadly, there's no real way to tell what's too far until after one has reached that distance. What then? Should we draw a line well in advance that should never be crossed? Or is there some other way to hold back from these insanities?

Whatever the case above, I can speak with certainty to the slightly less morbid topic. Marrying your waifu is a selfish endeavor. As I mentioned in the previous thread (although I may have been a bit vague), understanding how a waifu feels about you is completely different from understanding how you feel about a waifu. Your waifu has never met you, your waifu will never meet you. Forcing them into a relationship, particularly a marriage, completely defeats the purpose of loving them (unless you're a yandere in which case I guess you don't care... Also you should probably find some help for that). It's wrong and takes no consideration for the character; there is no love behind it, only self-gratification

Really, a waifu marriage makes you no better than one of those girls who writes bad fanfictions where she marries the male protag of a shitty romance

And those are my opinions. I must confess I'm a tad jarred by the idea of abusive waifu relationships, it's just far too fitting for me to not feel very uncomfortable talking about it. Also if you're wondering why my thoughts seem jumbled, that would be why

With Hope,

Lexi

[Chase]

This reminds me of Me!Me!Me!...

Let me start off by saying that - having played a video game as of late that has influenced my stance on this area in terms of understanding - I don't think it's insane to fall in love with a fictional character.

I -do- think it's a bit questionable whenever the following happens regarding husbandowaifuism (I'll be using waifu by default as I prefer women):

• You think that your waifu actually feels the same way about you in many instances when you can't directly interact with them (as in manga and anime)
• You think that your waifu is worth more than actual people - specifically ALL actual people.
• You cause yourself harm over the obvious fact that your waifu is not capable of providing you a real lover's experience.
• You cause OTHERS harm over the obvious fact that your waifu is not capable of providing you a real lover's experience.
• You personify your waifu to the point where you create social media representations of them. This one is probably the worst iteration of it because if you actually stand in place of a fake entity, you take advantage of OTHER people who may also hold similar feelings for the character and it becomes a multi-personal disaster where many people are being abused at once. I know a thing or two about deceit. This one is the most troublesome.

---

That being said, I don't think it's very shocking at all that this is remotely a phenomenon. I read earlier today that "sex-robots" would eventually replace actual human partners by 2025 - and waifuism in Japan is induced by the fact that many men in the country work staggering hours and don't have time for commitments with human women, and thus dating simulators are actually fairly common and serviceable (even to the point of sexual intercourse) where time is very much limited.

I think people do need be more like you though - and realize that love is something that is always, always, ALWAYS a two-way street and that most of the time requires someone to "actually" love you back instead of giving you limited responses and existing only to please you.

In my opinion, love is best exemplified by sacrifice and giving the other party a choice. Most waifus aren't going to make meaningful choices - and those that can still have issues in the reality department to fix.

[Felicity]

It's the height of writing prowess to create a character for whom people care about to an intense degree. To have someone so invested in a characters well being that it invokes tears of joy or sorrow, depending on the events.

That said, I think it speaks to a certain amount of self-entitlement to assume you can claim to love this character, genuinely love and want a romantic relationship with this character. A character is like the creators child and yet, as crass and horrific as it sounds with what I just said, they are still the creators intellectual property. You do not know that character to such a degree, the only person who does is the creator and they represent that character in very specific ways. Theoretically, if you truly love your waifu you should also be in love with the person who made them, because they're really the creator pulling the strings and saying the things, the mind behind the mask.

It's quite ridiculous to say you love a character when you probably can't even name the artist who designed them or the writer who produced their dialogue. The people who, together, formed this character.

[Tringus]

It's like a familiar scenario. One scenario being Harambe.

Now, before y'all think I'm going off-topic, hear me out. Something I heard from the mounds of Harambe memes is this: "Do we enjoy Harambe the Gorilla, or do we only love the idea of Harambe?

This could also be said for waifus. Do people really love their waifus, or do they merely love the idea of having a waifu, or something to obsess over? And if so, how far are they willing to go for their love or obsession? Now I don't exactly remember the entire idealism behind the 'Harambe or the idea of Harambe' thing, but the more I see it, the more it resembles this case. A food for thought, if you will.

[Ironbound]

As far as I am concerned, one can't truly be responsible for an entity that does not exist, and neither can it be responsible for oneself, even if one can fancy anything in imagination. I think the talk about love ends right there, and all else is only attachment other than real love, be it whatever degree of caring or concern or enjoyment or obsession or lust or what-have-you, and be it a positive appreciation for literature/media or any other morbid extremes that many human minds tend to stray towards...So while I follow your point, I would replace 'love' for 'attachments'. I could make a further case, but...

Heavy vehicles not allowed on that two-way road I read of? All right, time to take a U-turn and head back to work, then.

[PokeFailure]

I tried to come up with a response to this....But I'd rather not say half of my thoughts.

I could argue that loving a fictional character isn't truly "romantic love" because romantic love usually has to be shared between two people for it to be considered "true love" Imo. Without return of said love, it's just a crush/obsession/attachment/insert word.

But then there are people who f*** their cars and marry them so.....Humans be wierd yo.

Someone build a colony on mars already.

[Shinki]

Hey, that's a quite interesting conclusion. However, these people will probably claim to know what their waifu really wants, using an excuse like the 'bond' between them is so strong they don't need words to understand each other...

What I can say in their defense, is that they won't harm anyone as long as they're only forcing fictional characters to marry them. It won't bring them anything good, probably, but as long as no one else is involved, they do what they want. And at least, that's far better than forcing a real human being.

I might have been in this kind of state when I was younger, probably because I felt alone, but since my first girlfriend, it has never occurred again. All I feel for my favourite female characters now is some kind of respect and admiration, as if they were my idéal féminin. Kind of. Anyway, I don't really care anymore about the fact that they're not real. If anything, I just want to wear a cosplay of them, for one day or two.

Edited August 24, 2016 by Shinki