Eviora Posted November 21, 2016 Share Posted November 21, 2016 (edited) Hello, monsters of Reborn! After getting up to my usualf mischief for the week and laughing about it like an insane little girl, I thought it might be fun to share our misdeeds with each other. The sins you speak of may have occurred in real life, online, in video games, or in any other medium. However, I do ask that you follow a few simple rules. If you break my rules, I will become very grouchy, and my grouchiness is legendary - I'll probably end up taking out my sadness on some poor, unsuspecting player in one game or another, and you wouldn't want that on your conscience, would you? --- RULES: 1. No stories that are blatantly offensive to members of any race, religion, sex, gender identity, sexuality, ethnicity, or anything else of the sort. If you hate political correctness and feel this rule is stupid, feel free to file a complaint with me after this thread has run its course. 2. In fact, for the sake of my fragile sanity, nothing related to (real life) politics or religion at all. 3. Don't go meta on me. I don't want to hear about the ways you've screwed over other members of this community. This is a thread where we are supposed to laugh at how horrible we are, not flame each other into smithereens. 4. If your story involves substantial spoilers for anything please use spoiler tags and clearly indicate what exactly it is that you'll be spoiling. 5. This one is more of a suggestion than a rule. Try not to share all your vilest acts at once. We should savor these experiences, not die of laughter in a single sitting! --- That said, I'll set an example by going first. As you may know, I play the infamous World of Warcraft. In that game, I like to collect things because I am a total magpie. Particularly, I collect mounts - animals or machines that your character can ride around on. Recently, however, I have been presented with a teensy dilemma. It seems that Blizzard, in all their infinite wisdom, thought it would be funny to offer a mount that requires maximum reputation with a group called Talon's Vengeance. This group requires that go to certain places you kill other players - from either faction - with the use of an item that makes you hostile to everyone. Now, on my server, my own faction greatly outnumbers the opposition, so it falls on me to prey upon my supposed allies to get this mount. I hate player vs player combat, so at first, I quite dreaded the prospect. However, in time, I learned that this situation can actually be hysterical. As a natural villainess at heart, it didn't take me long to come up with a simple scheme. In some of the areas that I can make my kills, players are given a quest to cut through AI controlled forces and make their way to the top of a tower where a boss residues. What I do is follow them, help them, show them that I've become their impromptu ally... until they grow bold and pull a bit too many enemies. That's when I execute the plan - I activate my item and slaughter them while they battle. It tends to work quite well. They fall over quickly, and I get my beloved reputation. But, yesterday, that was not where it ended. For some reason a player I'd murdered became quite angry with me and saw fit to broadcast that anger in a public chat channel. I was like "The things I do for mounts" and told him it was nothing personal, but that only seemed to make him more upset. So upset, in fact, that he ran back to his body and murdered me in return. Now, that didn't bother me in the slightest. In fact, that happens more often than not. I keep my reputation regardless, suffer only a small inconvenience, and when I return, my hostility buff has fallen off so my foe can no longer touch me. However, this particular player thought they would gloat about their revenge. Their laughter turned to rage, though, when I quote a few lines from "Still Alive". I ended up flying out of the zone with my quest complete, my reputation gained, and an infuriated player left in my wake. I was sure to wish them a good day before I left the zone. --- I hope you found my story funny, but if you thought it was a terrible bore, one-up it! I've been told you can't spell Evil without Evi, so for the purposes of this thread I will fulfill the role of goddess of death and darkness. Now, confess your sins to me! Edited November 21, 2016 by Eviora Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alistair Posted November 21, 2016 Share Posted November 21, 2016 Hey that was quite the funny read but you weren't being such a meanie imo. You just did what you had to do, the other player reacted like a douche (I mean being pissed and coming back to slaughter you was understandable, but flaming you on the chat and stuff? come on). So let's see... I'm usually more of a goody-2-shoes in real life, but recently there was that one time when I was really obnoxious while playing xbox at my friend's, with him and another buddy. Basically I had decided for no reason in particular to have anti-sportsmanship behavior in every game we played. Playing Rocket League? I'm stealing every goal I can. CoD Zombies? Not reviving anyone and ending up lagging the whole team when I die in a really bad spot. Halo 4, multiplayer map and we all agreed to not use the vehicles? As soon as I'm losing I climb in a Mantis and plod through them mercilessly. Then I complain about having a smaller screen, switch seats with my buddy, and proceed to crush them again. At first it wasn't too bad, but the accumulation of small things like that made them quite pissed. In the end it's just funny memories for everyone tho. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kurohana Posted November 21, 2016 Share Posted November 21, 2016 i made cookie for my classmate, i tell them there are 1 cookies that contain chilli powder . actualy all of them contain chilli powder except 1 *laughing maniacly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noir Posted November 21, 2016 Share Posted November 21, 2016 (edited) I've played two MOBAs and have led to saltiness with the same tactic: Bomb stacking and oneshotting them when they hit their target. As both of them are also long range characters sadly people usually can do little about it but get insta rekted. People obviously wanted revenge, but at the same time, I don't need this tactic to kill them: one has oneshotting basic attacks and the other has high CC and AoE instaburst. This is why you don't feed me when I play these particular characters, it makes me thirsty for tears. I usually also have little to no deaths in these kind of matches, where people also keep gloating that "I'm nub because I hide" when one of these heroes I play is actually a supportive warder, as well, and more often than not I look for fights more than I avoid them. Saltiness at their finest. Edited November 21, 2016 by Noir Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tempest Posted November 21, 2016 Share Posted November 21, 2016 Last year I was fucking around in the media center at my high school. I had a flash drive with Kali Linux on it and I booted one of the machines off of it. I used a scanning tool that I need would flood the internet for a little bit in the media center; probably about five minutes. What I didn't anticipate was this scanning tool and script I ran ended up taking down the internet for the entire district, and all 9 schools had no network, because I was fucking around in the media center with one computer. Woops. I might of got a week long suspension for that one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Support Squad Felicity Posted November 21, 2016 Support Squad Share Posted November 21, 2016 Last year I took some babies from a candy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FairFamily Posted November 21, 2016 Share Posted November 21, 2016 (edited) Well I remember one. It was in gw2: a mmo with a bit of vertical axis. So with this in mind you get the option to do some wvwvw where 3 servers duke it out in battles over 4 maps. There is one additional map which is not really objective to the whole server battle with a jumping puzzle. Normally the map is quite peaciful with the exception of the occasional troll. People did their jumping puzzle and nobody killed anybody. Now that time the setting was a bit different being wvwvw league, where you can fight for the prestige of your server and some sweet loot. In order to be elligable for the loot you need to complete achievements like killing anough players, or complete enough wvwvw objectives but also complete that jumping puzzle. To make sure that people don't get slaughtered immediately on entering the jumping map, each server gets a pillar where their players are safe. Once you get of the pillar you can't get up and are free to be slaughtered. The first night of the league our server had control over the lower floor of that map. So the players of the other servers sat on their pillars and if they jumped down they were going to be slaughtered. Normally this wouldn't be much of a problem since there are the pillars where they are supposed to be safe. However if they get too close to the edge, I could use a skill that caused to them to be pulled of the pillar, I spent an entire evening pulling unsuspecting fools from pillars resulting in their death by the server. To make matters worse every time someone dies, their armor starts to break which they need to repair for a bit of bit gold in another map. I think I got most if not all of my required kills that night. Edited November 21, 2016 by FairFamily Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Combat Posted November 21, 2016 Share Posted November 21, 2016 I killed my brother, than tricked my nephew into thinking he did it. Then I sent the hyenas after him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alistair Posted November 21, 2016 Share Posted November 21, 2016 I killed my brother, than tricked my nephew into thinking he did it. Then I sent the hyenas after him. What a touching confession! Did you screw his mother and all the females in the clan too? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zey Posted November 21, 2016 Share Posted November 21, 2016 When I was a kid, my cousin was blocking my path as I wanted to go outside. She was in between me and the screen door and it was annoying me so I just pushed her through the screen door with me. Later on, that same cousin tried to attack me and got knocked on her ass pretty fast. I was 7 at the time. Never liked the witch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eviora Posted November 21, 2016 Author Share Posted November 21, 2016 I killed my brother, than tricked my nephew into thinking he did it. Then I sent the hyenas after him. Let me guess. Death by stampede? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Combat Posted November 21, 2016 Share Posted November 21, 2016 Let me guess. Death by stampede? I was going to go into a long, drawn out explanation, giving away the plot to Marvel's Civil War. Instead, I went full on Lion King. And to be honest, I can't tell if it was the wall or the stampede. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5hift Posted November 21, 2016 Share Posted November 21, 2016 (edited) Ok so back when I was a kid I had guppies as pets. If you don't know what guppies are they're these really plain fish that don't grow to be any bigger than the size of your pinkie finger. So anyways, one day I was like "Man, fuck these fish. I want an upgrade." Now here you would assume that I went to PetSmart or something to get me some new fish like a normal person would, right? Well not exactly. I figured my parents wouldn't be too keen on buying me new fish since they thought the ones I had were just fine so instead of buying fish, I got my fishing rod and went to my backyard pond that was stocked with bluegills. Aside from being much, much bigger than guppies, there really isn't anything super special about bluegills either. But I still thought they were a worthy successor to my guppies. So I caught one bluegill and bought it back to my house and dropped it into my tank. I left the guppies in there since I didn't really know what to do with them and I surely didn't want to kill them. If anything, I thought they were going to be friends with the bluegill like in Finding Nemo. Little did I know, I had just unleashed hell into their tank... About a half hour later I came back to the tank to check on how my fish were doing until I noticed something strange. All my guppies were hiding in this big clump of vegetation I had in my tank and the bluegill was just swimming around it. At first, I thought my guppies were hungry or something so I got out the fish food and sprinkled some into the tank outside of the vegetation. And lo and behold. One unfortunate guppy ventured out of the clump to eat the fish food and BAM. That fuckin bluegill did a complete 180 in the tank and snatched up that poor guppy. I stood there for a solid minute felling completely traumatized until I realized that this motherfucker had to go. So I netted the bluegill and chucked it back into the pond from whence it came. And yeah. Thats the story of how I got my fish eaten. God knows how many guppies lost their lives to that bluegill on that fatefull day. Edited November 21, 2016 by 5hift Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tartar Posted November 21, 2016 Share Posted November 21, 2016 (edited) So, I didn't do this, but this happened to me once in Europa Universalis IV. We were playing 4 people online, although I was stronger than the other 3, though could not entirely assert dominance. So a second player invited me into an alliance to take down the 2. strongest player, and seeing this as a great opportunity, I accepted his offer. His main asset was his powerful Navy which prevented me from Attacking him, so we ganged up our navies and prepared to attack him. I sailed my fleet from the Northern Sea into the Mediterranean. All my 150 ships that had taken me the past 50 years of game-time to build. And finally we see the perfect opportunity, the 2. strongest player just had his navy leave port, and we could intercept it before he could return to port. We declare war and prepare to fight this guys' navy of 200 ships. But wait, something wasn't right. Why didn't my "ally" join me... Wait what is he doing? Did he just peace out with my opponents leaving my navy to fend for itself? Wait what? Did he just join THEIR alliance and attack me O_o Frankly speaking, this betrayal was huge, with all three of the other players sinking my whole navy, and proceeding to invade me. And then we had a war that lasted 30 years of game time. This lasted around 5 sessions of 5 hours of play. And it all started with the vilest act of villainy and betrayal that I have ever experienced. Edited November 21, 2016 by Tartar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Global Mods Ice Cream Sand Witch Posted November 21, 2016 Global Mods Share Posted November 21, 2016 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Combat Posted November 22, 2016 Share Posted November 22, 2016 Alright, Uncle Combat has a few more pieces of naughtiness for you kids. -So this one time me and some friends went a found some souls in fire. With these souls, we traveled to the surface and decided to kill all the dragons there. We won the war because one of them told us about their weakness, and we ruled to world. Things stated to go down hill after humans appeared, and we set up a nice little system where they burned themselves to keep them in check. The thing was, the dark age was coming, so I went and sacrificed myself to keep the fire going, breaking the natural cycle. -Another time, I was the only man born to a tribe full of women. Which would be great, until you find out that ruling the desert SUCKS. So, I tried to get the power of the gods, but the three tribes wouldn't let me in. Rude! So I killed a tree, blocked off the food supply to the rock people, and poisoned their fish god. Well as it turns out, this kid goes and saves the day and leaves the front door open to housing place of the power of the gods. Well, I'm not going to let this opportunity go by. One thing leads to another, and no I have a flying castle floating above where the old castle was. -You'll like this one! I placed two bombs next to the district attorney and his girl friend. Then, I told Bats where they both were, but only gave them enough time to free one of them! Ha ha ha! -I used to have a really nice house and everything, but kind of spent all my time drinking and sleeping. So, as I got older, I thought it would be a good idea to figure out if there was really an eldritch portal underneath the mansion. Well... Things may have gotten a little out of hand, and I might have sacrificed a few dozen town folk to evil... Anyways, I did find out there was a portal there, and everyone but me died. So I sent a letter to one of my kin to take care of it for me, because I took the easy way out. (This can literally go on forever.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eviora Posted November 22, 2016 Author Share Posted November 22, 2016 (edited) 1. No clue! 2. Ocarina of Time 3. The Dark Knight 4. iunno Edited November 22, 2016 by Eviora Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guzam Posted November 22, 2016 Share Posted November 22, 2016 I shoved my little brother off of our old trampoline because he said he could jump higher than me. Fucker had it coming, getting into a jumping contest with the king and losing. Edit: I was 12 and he was 10. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Combat Posted November 22, 2016 Share Posted November 22, 2016 1. No clue! 2. Ocarina of Time 3. The Dark Knight 4. iunno You're right for the two of them, but can anyone get the other two? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alistair Posted November 22, 2016 Share Posted November 22, 2016 Hey Combat. Gwyn ain't a villain (or is he...? Left to interpretation). Praise dat sun bro Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Combat Posted November 22, 2016 Share Posted November 22, 2016 Hey Combat. Gwyn ain't a villain (or is he...? Left to interpretation). Praise dat sun bro I mean, he did stop the natural flow of nature, and failed to see what a certain dragon was going to maidens. And then we have poor Havel... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eviora Posted November 22, 2016 Author Share Posted November 22, 2016 No wonder I didn't get it. I haven't played that game. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alistair Posted November 22, 2016 Share Posted November 22, 2016 Last guess sounds a lot like The Black Mirror, but that seems unlikely... old game and not very well-known. If that's not it then I dunno. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaunt Posted November 22, 2016 Share Posted November 22, 2016 It's Darkest Dungeon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ironbound Posted November 22, 2016 Share Posted November 22, 2016 ... I'm an accountant. ... Worse still... I do tax And the most grisly part... I enjoy it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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