In Remembrance of Days Gone

[Tartar]

Part 1 can be found  here:

 

 

“Can I really wish for any one thing?” – So goes the charade. When they say thus I turn an hourglass in my mind

If the dull human can’t think of a single wish in 5 minutes, I won’t be able to make enjoy my tea after all

So after the last grain runs out, that’s good-bye

 

 “I want to increase my number of wishes.” – the frivolous human says

Perhaps he thinks himself clever, having invented a workaround for my terms. However, my impression is quite the opposite

A feeble mind cannot comprehend. A wish to grant anything, the power of a miracle, is not such a thing to count as 1 or 2

It is the same with black tea, one cup can work miracles,

Dilute that same teapot across 100 cups, and it becomes indistinguishable from water

 

 “I want love”, “I want happiness”

To those, I tell “You are loved, you are happy”. And just like that their wish is granted

It’s all so stupid

Love and happiness are the same as air. It fills the world, but if you can’t understand it, it’s the same as if it didn’t exist

And more so, they exist in many forms

If one cannot specify the happiness one wants without resorting to such abstract terms, one will never achieve their wish even after a thousand years of searching

 

I once met a little girl, after standing around and thinking she said this:

“Please guarantee that my efforts will without a doubt bear fruit”

Can you imagine? When offered her wish granted, she’d rather grant it herself?

But she certainly had a sincere and genuine look in her eyes. Puzzled, I decided to inquire

“My purpose in life cannot be relegated to a single number. To reach my destination I will have to brave many trials

I do not desire to skip that journey, merely to have acknowledged my ability to reach it”

 

I saw in those small eyes of hers a certain radiance that made her different from those other humans whom I had rejected

I felt a wonderful aroma of sweet black tea that far transcended that kid, like a chirp of a little bird on the eve of spring

Winter is truly a harsh thing

After a very long journey, I had finally met another one with such a magnificent aura. It is rare to find such a specimen.

They are the rescue ships showing me the paths to worlds yet unknown to me. She was the first, the one who drew me into this world.

 

Out of respect for that willpower shown to me that day, I granted her the miracle she desired

Though I never did state for how long she would have to brave those gruelling trials to reach her destination

Who knows, perhaps she gave up midway?

 

Throughout my days I have met a few such individuals

They are the ones capable of diverting my boredom on this endless journey of mine

I truly savour those moments, to waste such wonderful tea leaves would certainly be a waste.

Though if you remember, I did say that someday my supply of tea leaves would run dry

I think that such a day may be approaching, or perhaps it is already upon us?

 

 

[Felicity]

1: This would probably be better served in the CW section though this being the wasteland it is a catch all

 

2: Your writing comes off as pretentious and far too vague without proper description of sensory details, which are fairly scant. Developing the characters surroundings is a good way to help construct the scene, obviously, and it's deceptively easy to tailor these details to support your general themes. You also don't go into much detail when you would be well served to do so

 

" After a very long journey, I had finally met another one with such a magnificent aura. It is rare to find such a specimen."

 

Why is it rare? Is the world in a particularly dismal state? This is a fairly short story but a first part to this suggests a plan to continue this on. Decide whether this should be a hook for the audience to keep reading other parts or simply to answer it then and there. 

 

"I truly savour those moments, to waste such wonderful tea leaves would certainly be a waste. "

 

Try not to repeat words when you can help it, though this may have been something you simply didn't notice. Redrafting is a good thing.

[Tartar]

@Felix- Thanks for taking your time to read and comment on the piece. 

If possible, I'd love for you to elaborate on why you thought the post came off as pretentious and vague. I've gotten this a few times, and I'd like to find out why it comes off as such.