The Lucid Night [CW/Feedback]

[Raindrop Valkyrie]

Once more a sleepless night. I tossed and turned in darkness for what felt like an eternity, though it was truly merely the span of an hour or two. But, my mind refused to shut off. It refused to be unplugged from the thoughts that stirred from the day prior. The ones I had yet expressed. The ones I kept to myself for fear people wouldn't understand, or worse, not even care.

 

The rattling of half-baked ideas clatter in my mind. Partially formulated plots, people, countries.. worlds. They swim within the murky deeps of my mind. The aquarium of brilliance, creativity. They beat against the tempered glass, waiting to greet the world, not knowing that they cannot yet breathe the air of the outside world. They seek to be realized before they are even finished. Their lungs not yet fully formed. Yet, they teem at the surface regardless. The sheer pressure threatens to burst out of my head, or spew forth from my mouth. But, without nary a soul to confide in... to converse with, what worth do they have? I do not know. Perhaps it is why I write them down. A way to exorcise the chittering incomplete demons. Their racket, gone for awhile until yet more pile in. To keep them tucked away for later, to give them form that I can then, mold. Clay in the hands of an artist. The many lucid dreams while I lie awake.

 

And yet, dream I do not, least that I remember. I only know of the ideas that rattle about in my head unable to shut off the cacophony of damnable noise. Never once have I remembered a dream. I wonder if I do. I mean, of course I do. But do I? Perhaps, I dream too much while I'm awake. Maybe that is why I do not dream in the inky embrace of sleep. Perhaps, it why I sit up endless nights, as the dreams chatter in my head. Much too loud for me to sleep while I have them.

 

Perhaps, it is because I'm always dreaming, that I never dream.