Writers folly

[Felicity]

I should be writing far more over the holiday and I've been slacking. Here's something that hopefully everyone who's taken a stab at writing can understand.

 

The writer tapped the desk thoughtfully. Tap-tap-taptaptap. He was drawing a blank. First he tried writing a sob story, typing away madly on his battered blue laptop. It was someone confessing their inner anxieties and fears to the audience who played the role of a close friend. He didn’t like it though. It somehow hit too close to home but too far from the truth. That stank somehow. He was trying to be honest with himself. That clearly wasn’t the case though, not after trying to pull a dramatic rabbit from the hat that was his life story.and failing. Meh, maybe he was just a boring guy.

 

He clicked his pen.1-2-345. His brow furrowed as he stared at the blank page. This was irritating. Well if he was so boring, why not write something fictional? ‘Twas the true of art of the world, bullshitting. Now this writer's work would reek right along with the most historic piles of cowpat, truly magnifiscent... Maybe he wouldn’t use much wordplay.

 

Shitty metaphors aside, the writer began thinking about his world. Every good story needs a solid world for its foundation. He started with the city, taking time to think about the different areas within. He took out his whiteboard and drew a vague outline, little more than a segmented circle. His art teacher would be appalled but that snob didn’t know jack from shit, so the writer carried on blissfully, humming as his hands moved.

 

Oh! Here’s an idea! Why not write a story about corporate intrigue! Yes, that sounds fantastic! He had always had a passing interest in economics, it was almost like a second hobby (the first being reading of course!)

 

Yeah, the protagonist will start as a lowly intern and quickly rise through the ranks as he gets caught in all kinds of sinister affairs. Even the most well informed conspiracy theorists would faint upon reading about the goings on of… Suntondar Banking! Naturally, because no one should trust banks… A moment later the writer closed the online banking tab on his browser. Ok, nobody should trust bankers.

 

Ok, so the premise is set, as is the stage. Time to begin with… Smithees rise to success, his climb to become the next Wolf of Wall Street! God that was a good movie… How long had he been at this?

 

The writer turned the tv off with a quiet blink. He threw the tv remote on the settee next to him. Right! Movie break over! Time to- It’s 2am?! Well fuck, it’s time to get to sleep for the writer. Maybe another day.

 

No one ever read about Smithee’s exploits. He never really had any sordid escapades. He was too busy waiting for his writer to make them up.