Commander's Rejuvenation Adventures (A Rejuv Not Cancelled Run) [Chapter 62]

[DanelerH]

I didn't really mind SEC, but I also didn't really care for it.  It doesn't really add anything.  If anything, it detracted from tracking down Keta.  If it had been replaced with guards in front of each elevator, I don't think I would feel any different about this section.

[Tringus]

After reading this chapter, I can kinda say I liked SEC.  SEC was pretty neat, and I can kinda see why the face for SEC was changed, as to avoid making a carbon copy of the sprite from Black 2 and White 2.  It does also give him room to have different emotions, and I think that's pretty neat, seeing as people actually have emotions now in the game.  Well, visible emotions.

[Sceptilespy]

Sec was cool and all, but I'd rather have his dialogue chopped down to clever trolling. Very slick shots that take Aelita a minute to get. Stuff like that. Honestly, right now, SEC to me is just a signal to start textskipping.

[Commander]

I just finished up Summer classes so I'm a bit more available to work on this (maybe I'll do daily updates, but a few things might hold me back). Anyways, I really do appreciate people's various opinions on SEC as my opinion is my own and doesn't represent the game entirely. It does give me something really good to talk about in the recap about a common theme I see in Rejuv which is a make or break whether you should play this game. But I really do want to apologize for how the last chapter went. I know I go heavy on the critical side, but that just hit a point where I was just bashing the game and when I'm not enjoying doing something it's not fun to read. But hopefully this chapter is much better quality also:

 

On 7/25/2017 at 1:56 PM, Trevore said:

After reading this chapter, I can kinda say I liked SEC.  SEC was pretty neat, and I can kinda see why the face for SEC was changed, as to avoid making a carbon copy of the sprite from Black 2 and White 2.  It does also give him room to have different emotions, and I think that's pretty neat, seeing as people actually have emotions now in the game.  Well, visible emotions.

 

And people call me harsh But seriously, it's really hard for me to remember what the original rejuv was like since all I remember was the really, really bad and ho boy was version 4 full of it for me. I do think the story was very forgettable and honestly...it still is kind of forgettable but that's recap topics.

 

Chapter 13: 2μ

 

Let's see...oh I was in jail. Oh I actually want to go back in time to talk about a certain image

 

 

This image kind of show how the art quality has come a long way in battles since this one looks a little jaggy, but not bad.

 

And now back to the jail where I've been waiting a few days to get out:

 

(Well, well, well, look who finally decided to show his face)

 

(I disagree. Tagging along with a certain someone got me in this cell in the first place)

 

I know this scene got changed from the very, very old version, but I really like this little moment as it's one of those moments where Keta is being a sensei before stopping a moment and saying he's not much better than you...but...this whole revamping the game kind of made a big contradiction. Keta is supposed to be an emotionless being who sealed all his emotions away in Amethyst Grotto. This rewrite of Keta pretty much acts what...normal Keta would and is nice and kind to the player compared to the original. I want you to keep that in mind while we keep on going on this merry way.

 

(...Pretty sure this is a cargo hold, but okay...actually hold up! WHY IS THEIR LAVE IN A CELL! At least I can make s'mores)

 

And then Keta himself uses Galeforce Strike to break the cell open. It's hard to capture movements when you aren't expecting them.

 

(And we're back to being a hypocrite)

 

(...He's more to blame than he even knows...curse you revenant Keta)

 

Thinking on Rev Keta we'll definitely have a lot to talk about...but it's probably a bit more interesting than you might think.

 

(Speaking of bait, I'm pretty sure Madelis put me in here to serve as jail bait for you)

 

(That's the third biggest lie to appear in this run)

 

Okay, I don't know what Keta is thinking right now (I know it's RPG logic, but whatevs). I got captured and put in jail. I managed to defeat Keta rather easily. How would us teaming up even stand a remote chance of taking Madelis...the girl with a bloody op houndoom actually...that's a rather weak houndoom if it didn't knock out a togepi instantly. Maybe we do have a shot of winning against this incompetent team. And yes, team Xen is very incompetent. And let's continue on our little journey. Trainers have some kind of tough Pokemon, but with 12 Pokemon on our side they are kind of meh.

 

(No way, I totally saw her as a humble and considerate woman)

 

(The only thing beautiful here is my hair)

 

So the finest security in the world is a robot that blows itself up when it loses a battle...even Kanto has a better security system than that.

 

(For some reason, I imagine breaking into Ame's house would be something like this)

 

(...Yes, yes I do)

 

(Wait...are you using sarcasm? WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY BABY KETA!)

 

I'm just going to be blunt here: that is not an obvious place to hide a key. Maybe somebody dropped their lift key while moving stuff. Maybe the player snatched that key from Madelis's booty while being taken hostage. This line actually is a bit jarring since the player can't talk either and it really isn't like Keta (his character is an absolute mess when trying to analyze it right now).

 

(Because going MGS on them is way beyond our capabilities)

 

(So wait, is this a date? You know what, sure. I'd go gay for the sensei)

 

(Something tells me it's not making this an OTP)

 

(I wonder if it'd be faster than your mood swings).

 

And I don't normally do these little comments but this is a good one:

 

(What every vet probably thinks of someone who plays Pokemon Reborn for the first time)

 

(Pokemon Players in general)

 

I just realized...how long as the dialogue box been like that. I just now noticed the design and it looks kind of cool. I may want to see what the other ones look like now if I remember. Yes two months in and over a 1,000 pictures of it and I just now notice.

 

(Basically, she knows we escaped)

 

(Actually Keta, why do you honestly care? The enemy of my enemy if my friend also Eli's my gambling buddy)

 

(I don't see any problems here)

 

(Pretty sure nobody does otherwise she wouldn't be alone working in a lab)

 

(Pretty sure Madelis probably isn't really going to care all that much)

 

(...I didn't think she was the type to...y'know. That one's all on Keta when we get there)

 

(WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH KETA!)

 

Thinking back on Sharon now, I'd have to consider her "best girl" as you guys put it. She and Aelita are honestly the only two down to earth characters and don't act like over the top anime characters (and while I like Venam, she just is done way too over the top at points). Aelita is a little too headstrong for my tastes, so that pretty much eliminates everyone but Sharon which is kind of sad since she's a very minor character in terms of the game. I only remember minor bits and pieces about that duos moments so that'll be fun seeing again.

 

(And I'm not disturbed at this Pokemon talking to me because...)

 

That reminds me of two things: First, I really miss that Skitty event Pokemon as it was one of my favorites in the game. No idea why that got cut entirely. Secondly, the whole fairy typing skew is a bit of a stretch since Pokemon XD had Shadow Ralts, Shadow Mawile (same area even), Shadow Togepi/Togetic, AND a Shadow Mr. Mime. Yes, the Pokemon they couldn't turn into a Shadow Pokemon was a Shadow Pokemon in XD. Gotta love that logic (also I was actually pretty sure Shadow Mr. Mime was in XD so I just checked to make sure). But now that we reached this point I can really go into what I think about essential's Shadow Pokemon and how Rejuv treats it:

 

Honestly, I'd say the base essentials scripts need A LOT of work for Shadow Pokemon to start being implemented into fan-games. Yeah it's functional, but it's honestly really bad. First off, Shadow typing overwrites the original typing so a mon no longer has stab (or maybe they have Shadow typing as stab which...I don't believe the Orre games had stab on those moves). Secondly, it makes those Pokemon only be handled with one strategy more or less (and you can paralyze, sleep, and burn any of them irrc). Rejuv adding in fairy type to counter it is nice and all, but that's really the only weakness shadow Pokemon have.

 

The other big thing I want to talk about is how limited Shadow Pokemon are as well. You can only capture Pokemon in singles due to...how the main games designed their games. I get why they did it, but Orre did it better as you could only throw one Poke Ball in a turn which really made for quite the strategy. I'd love for that to come back because catching Pokemon in doubles was fun (seriously I want a third Shadow Pokemon game so badly like many fans). It's also a huge inconvenience as all bosses have to be singles for them to wield a Shadow Pokemon (though you could do it if you have them save the Shadow for last, but that's a bit of work).

 

I guess what I'm saying is that while the idea is really cool and worked in Orre games due to the limited amount of options, I don't think it works quite as well here simply because of a lot of inconveniences. I definitely know many of these things can be implemented as people have done it for their own works and for fun, but I'm not sure how much Rejuv should invest in fixing it since Shadow Pokemon aren't all that common. And now I really want to go back and play the Orre games again.

 

(It's a ginger thing, Keta. They like burning stuff.)

 

(I was literally told this like 5 days ago)

 

(......Thank you for being captain obvious here)

 

(Keta, we both know that is a lie. Who spends like a million dollars on a facility that could be shut down easily by a push of a button)

 

(See? Way too obvious)

 

I'm just going to be blunt and ask why this is even here? We heard this explanation once and we're going to hear it again. It honestly would've made more sense for Keta to push a button, see a key pop out, and then explain how it seems this was a little trick or setup. This honestly should just be rewritten to remove a tedious explanation we just heard and let Keta take initiation and try to stop Madelis (since he is part of Team Xen he has more power and could possibly have some key or something to shut it down)

 

(Who is this Commander you speak of? My name is Jeff)

 

(Alright Keta, hit him with an almighty Gale Strike right now)

 

Seriously, how dumb do you have to be to tell the enemy you have what they're looking for? Either of us could easily take them down and snatch the key from them. Me as in Commander and not the player character whose strength and ideals vary. But Commander definitely could handle it.

 

(Now that's the Keta we know and love)

 

(Oh that's cute. You think you have a chance at beating Loewe, the blademaster (in training))

 

I don't think I screened anything else, but most fights in this section were really, really forgettable and they even had second and final stage Pokemon to boot. I'm not complaining as it helps level out the experience curve quite a bit.

 

(Okay, now they're really cock teasing me now...twice in one picture)

 

That Hydreigon is seriously salt in the wound as that mon won't be available for a long, long time. I also really hate these types of puzzles. Not Lt Surge levels of hate though.

 

Suddenly Madelis

 

(For some odd reason, I feel like I'm in the church of the devil. Does that mean Madelis is a pastor?)

 

(We're a protagonist in an RPG. Fast and efficiency are not our specialties)

 

(I mean...who actually designs something that impractical anyways)

 

(I just noticed if you look at the fence close to Madelis...it defies logic)

 

(That...makes sense. Also, why is Aelita just standing there?)

 

I know it's RPG logic, but I think it's kind of funny how Madelis had this elaborate design with the sole purpose of slowing the player down. She should take lessons from Ame as even Shelly's gym puzzle can take an hour to solve sometimes.

 

(Pretty much sums up Caratos Mountain)

 

(You act like that's an option)

 

(Keta may be above it, but I'm not)

 

(Can someone please just beat the shit out of this girl?)

 

(...Wait...how does she even know...)

 

I'm just going to say this about Rejuv villains. They really aren't all that impressive which makes screencapping them hard. Now before I get into why, let's take a step back and redefine what an antagonist is. An antagonist is someone who opposes or serves the opposite side of the protagonist. That's it. Basically all the main leaders of Xen are assholes for the sake of being assholes. Zetta is interesting due to at least having a little attitude, but Madelis is just...so boring. I'm trying to think of characters I created that are similar to Madelis, but...there is one character, but he's neutral and only toys to get information out of characters. The other one toys to piss someone off as often it's easier to read their patterns and open up their weak spots. Wow...I really haven't written and egotistical a-hole villain like Madelis so I guess I'll think of one that does a good job to use...huh...

 

Dr. Yuriev from Xenosaga is probably the closest character to compare to Madelis, but she does not even come anywhere close to how good this character is. This is major spoiler areas, but I'mma show it to you as a demonstration:

 

 

 

 

The difference between Madelis and Dimitri is that the latter had a motive to create U.R.T.V.S. (which are humanoid weapons) which the reasoning behind that actually takes place in a little side story called Pied Piper (if you are a Xenosaga fan and haven't read the translation, I HIGHLY recommend it. One of the best things in the series). The point is that he has motives in what he does. Madelis on the other hand really isn't a character and just a plot device and she had plenty of time to flesh out her character. Trust me, Dimitri has very little screentime but does quite a bit with what he has. I guess what I'm saying is that Madelis has a lot of potential to become something better than what she is right now with rewriting the dialogue to give her more substance instead of focusing on her ego. Now we must move on...(two rants in one chapter...we're never getting to revenant Keta are we?)

 

(Just like getting one of these done in a single day)

 

Suddenly I have a huge urge to completely just rewrite this scene and play godsibb in the background. If you see scripting later, you'll understand why

 

(Looks like Keta really did make a deal with the devil)

 

(Hahahahaha! It's funny because you're the reason Melia's dead in the first place. There's nothing merciful about you)

 

If I see one more overly cliche line, I'mma abridge this whole thing

 

(This is Keta's version of "Get off my lawn")

 

(I'm done)

 

I'm sorry, Jan, but there's just so much you could do here so I'm going to do an "abridged" version because screencapping this is just boring. Let's just restart to the point where Keta and the player walk up to the stage:

 

Madelis: And so our special guests finally arrive. I would have personally escorted the two of you here, but I had other more important business to attend to. I do hope you found my little game amusing enough while I was away.

 

Keta: So it was a trap. Those keys were too easy to obtain to be able to sneak in here unnoticed. (If this were actual dialogue in-game I'd edit this a tad more for flow)

 

Madelis: Keta, Keta, Keta, you're still as thick-headed as ever. With a hideout hidden right under a village, someone was destined to find this place sooner or later. With so few who resist us, we must make the most of those who do.

 

Keta: So this is all some kind of game to you.

 

Madelis: For a man who's supposed to respected, you've quite the sharp tongue. This is far from a game, but my dreams come to reality. This domain is the perfect paradise to test all of my subjects. [Commander] has even see some of my greatest experiments in action even.

 

Keta: I assume you mean those Pokemon who wield no hearts. Such abominations should cease to exist in a world like ours.

 

Madelis: And to think I even made one specially for you yet you refuse to accept they exist and they are far better than any mon trained by a human.

 

Keta: Enough! I did not come here for idle chat. Madelis, out of respect for my culture, I will choose to end this peacefully. Shut down your machines and leave my village and I promise to show no bear illings toward you.

 

Madelis: How adorable you still hold your honor even after all you've done. I guess that's what makes me so fond of you. That or we have all so much in common. People don't understand what it's like being shunned upon by everyone. To be different. It's something not even your daughter would understand.

 

Keta: You lie. I have no kin.

 

Madelis: Oh please, do you think you can fool this genius? You see this girl. Your sold every soul in this village giving me every name and detail. Yet, this girl is a complete stranger. Why conceal her if it meant risking your life?

 

Keta:...

 

Madelis: Such an open book, but a useful book nevertheless. Normally, such an act would be punished with death, but you've done so much for me. Stop this rebel nonsense at once and return to my side and I promise no harm shall come to you daughter.

 

Keta: After all the terrible things you've done, the words you speak are nothing more than empty lies.

 

Madelis: So you would choose to do nothing causing yet another death in your family. So Commander, which do you think is quicker: death by 451 degree flames or 200 mA of electricity?

 

Keta:...You win. (Keta moves up to stand next to Madelis)

 

Madelis: So the beast admits he has a heart. How joyous an occasion. We shall fest for such an event.

 

Keta: You make me sick, woman.

 

Madelis: And I will have time to here such joyous praise in a minute. Now I must attend to our other guest. Commander, I surely haven't forgotten you. Normally, this would be the time for me to offer you to join our ranks but...you're quite the troublemaker. You've set our plans back in motion. So far back that our leader has order me personally to deal with you. Not to worry as I have a fitting end to such a brave warrior. Do you see that dispenser above us? (Screen scrolls up)

 

Keta: By the gods, is that...

 

Madelis: Yes, it is what some consider the most powerful Pokemon of all time: Mewtwo. That has become a fact as I've turned this monster into the most beautiful of specimens. Computer! Release unit 3135.

 

Computer: Understood! Releasing Codename: u2

 

Keta: That aura...it's...unnatural

 

Madelis: Observant as always. Normally, shadow Pokemon have a black, sometimes invisible, aura. With many countless days of work, I have tapped into the full potential of Mewtwo drawing out this aura. (I don't feel like rewording this explanation honestly). You should feel honored for being the first test subject to my magnum opus. But before we do battle, these is one thing I must take care of. Mewtwo use Shadow Bolt! [Mewtwo launches an attack]

 

Commander: ! [Commander's snag machine broke]

 

Keta: Damn, that may have been our only chance of stopping her. Commander, get out of here while you still can.

 

Madelis: Don't even bother. This is my domain so even if you run, I'll find you instantly. Now then, show some honor and do battle with me!

 

(Gauis wins by doing nothing!)

 

(Gauis is now greater than a god...though we already knew that)

 

So yeah there's really no good strategy here to beat it other than to Inverse Mode cheese it. Well you could go open up quagsire's heart to learn other moves for damage and have like 200 super potions and chip damage that way, but what's the fun in that. But yeah bringing Quagsire makes this battle a hell of a lot easier as it can live 3 of mewtwo's attacks (since everything else is more or less easily OHKO'd). Kind of a meh fight since it's out second impossible battle in the game (first was rift gyarados).

 

And yes, we're doing ALL of the scene:

 

Madelis: Sigh, an incomplete experiment would end in failure. Though it at least has enough energy to finish you off. Mewtwo use...

 

[Keta Grabs Mewtwo]

 

Keta: Not if I have anything to say about it.

 

Madelis: I thought you were smarter than this. Do you honestly think you can win?

 

Keta: It's not about winning. Commander, free Aelita and both of you head to that back room. The generator should be nearby. Destroy it and this place should shut down for good.

 

[Player walks over to Aelita and both hurry to the back room]

 

Madelis: Before I kill you, there's something I just don't understand. We both walked similar paths yet you'd show mercy to someone like me who treated you so poorly and even go so far to sacrifice yourself in vein to save two pathetic little whelps. What changed you to behave so irrationally?

 

Keta: It's true we once shared a similar path. They differ after I met someone who changed me. Someone who taught me what love, caring, and compassion really were.

 

Madelis: Pathetic. Mewtwo, end him.

 

[Scene cuts to black only hearing a mewtwo cry in the distance]

 

I was going to throw in a "I'm not a pastor, I'm the fucking pope" joke for Madelis, but I just got tired of seeing that same old tropey evil villain attitude. I'll eventually post the pics of the actual scene so you can compare the two if you want, but it's late so I'll do that later (and it's like 100 images...like 80 in total), but this was really hard to do since Madelis I don't know the story around her and I know I kind of made Keta's story there up since it's untrue, but they've been working together for a bit so they know a bit about each other so I felt like they two would at least acknowledge each other a bit more (even if they hate each other).

 

That gets me to the other thing: Keta is literally written to be a stone cold character as his emotions have been sealed yet he doesn't act like at all. I could see him having cracks in his emotions, but not a complete 180 after one single loss. He also used a more complex vocab in amethyst cave which he seems to have forgotten. And I know Jan probably wasn't taking the game too seriously at this point which is understandable, but I would've liked seeing a bit more consistency with a rewrite (Keta was imo pretty consistent in the original storyline compared to this new one).

 

But out of curiosity, would you guys like me to do something like this for a scene if I get bored, tired, or start constantly ranting at a scene like this or would you rather I continue screen capping and pointing everything out. This first is just kind of my take on how I would do this and not me saying I can do this better than you as a FYI. Also, I think the presentation of Mewtwo was pretty good but Madelis is just...so freaking boring. You could replace her with Eli there and it'd be a significant improvement.

 

[Commander]

I'm making this a separate post due to funky posting stuff, but here's the original Shadow Mewtwo scene as a reference

 

 

 

 







(She knows his wife's name yet they act like they really don't know anything about each other)

























(In my rewrite I had Aelita tied up and gagged)















(Kind of dislike how Keta drops the whole teacher personality once we battle him)





(How is that last part a question?)



 









(Oh god the mapping hurts here. Look at those pillars)



(He'll do a fine job as a beauty instructor)

 



(I've always wondered where the decimal came from)

 





(Part of me wishes this was actually a Tentacruel to say: RELEASE THE KRACKEN!)

 



(Whatever conditioner he uses I want some of that)

 



(It was at this moment Commander and Keta recieved a disturbing image inside their head courtesy of Mewtwo)

 





(If Mewtwo said "Bitch, I'm waiting" I would've died laughing)

 





(You'd think that's the first thing she'd go after)



(So...she managed to find a solution in a few mere hours on reports less reliable than my posting schedule)

 



 



 



(Fun fact: You can't silently add items into the bag. I actually did this with Hardcore for the Mega Ring for a certain event)

 



(If you're going to explain everything, can you also tell how the heck we're even able to see through those windows?)

 









(People, don't ever try to make sense of Pokemon. Just don't...)





(You know if I had to give Madelis a voice actor, It'd have to be a guy with a flamboyant voice. It's just too fitting)





(I was going to insert a Jojoke here to explain the plan)









(Just like your lovelife)



(With the voice from before, I can't help but think of a different fiery passion)

 



(I'm not a jojo character so I have no stands)

 





(Do you know who I am? I am Keta Motherfucking Norris. I need no Pokemon to take down such a puny creature)

 





(You're right, we still have like 100 chapters to go)







(...Something tells me that's not true)

 







(If you're going to put a cliche line somewhere, this would be the place to put. C'mon Jan, get with the program)







(Wait...we don't work for you, do we?)



 

 

 

While I was posting this I can of got the sub feeling vibe back so yeah there are some little comments under a couple screencaps. The dialogue isn't bad, but it's just full of unnecessary explanations and just bland dialgue. There's very little substances added to make this a very suspenseful or meaningful moment...like it should be.

[Filthy Casual]

11 hours ago, Commander said:

But out of curiosity, would you guys like me to do something like this for a scene if I get bored, tired, or start constantly ranting at a scene like this or would you rather I continue screen capping and pointing everything out. This first is just kind of my take on how I would do this and not me saying I can do this better than you as a FYI. Also, I think the presentation of Mewtwo was pretty good but Madelis is just...so freaking boring. You could replace her with Eli there and it'd be a significant improvement.

 

When you get to Terajuma Island and find the first village, there is a certain cutscene which plays (I'd tell you which one, but you'll know when you get there). I'd love to see your take on it. Also, I completely agree with you about Madelis. She could've been such an interesting character, but we don't see her too much. Having said that, you may like the next Xen admin you run into. This individual certainly has more personality, even if said personality needs a bit of fine tuning.

[Grelliebean]

2 hours ago, Commander said:

(With the voice from before, I can't help but think of a different fiery passion)

 

*glances at my avatar* ....

 

Wow... I didn't realize Madelis was so flat as a character when I played Rejuv. Yikes.

[Youmu9]

I loved your rewrite of this scene. I'd be okay with more if you feel the dialogue is boring or bland. Saves time with the screencaps too.

[IntSys]

Shadow Mewtwo isn't that tough. You just have to proc its Hyper Mode and let it KO itself with Hyper Mode recoil.

Personally I wouldn't count Rift Gyarados as an impossible fight, at its current iteration. It has been nerfed to the ground, with vastly worse stats than before AND lowered level making it a paper tiger or would you say a Paper Gyarados?

[Commander]

And we're getting Keta done tonight boys, and girls, and girls who dress like boys

 

Chapter 14: 7.8/10 Too many legendaries

 

(Can someone seriously explain to me how these windows work?)

 

(Well you both have that physics defying hair)

 

..."But I doubt that wasn't obvious" is just filler dialogue and with the massive amount from before, cutting back probably is a good idea. Filler dialogue adds no content to a scene and just extends it further. It differs from dialogue added to help show a character's personality or give them more depth.

 

(Finally, someone who know how to shut up)

 

(Yes, finally some action packed scene which will have little if not any talking. Let'sa go)

 

(That is a very tiny control panel)

 

(It looks my friend grandma getting into a bathtub...don't ask me how I know what that looks like)

 

(Oh god it's the one and only flamboyant Pope Madelis)

 

(No, we came he to roast marshmallows). 

 

(Only because Keta let you win so you wouldn't lose your confidence. Such a good man)

 

(Are we really going to have to do this again)

 

(I realized a grave error I've made. We're surrounded by magma...not lava)

 

(Can we please make it canon that Madelis is actually a man. It just helps her character so much)

 

(Aelita, I love you, but what happened to shutting up?)

 

Normally, I would do a rewrite of this whole section, but it would pretty much consist of just literally this:

 

Aelita: Huh? This controls look a bit odd and it doesn't seem I can turn anything off. Sigh...why couldn't my father make it easy? I guess we have no choice but to brute force and destroy...whatever that thing is.

 

Madelis: That "thing" you speak of belongs to me and you shall not be getting any closer to it. Honestly, it breaks my heart you'd try and bring all of my life's work to ruins.

 

Aelita:...!

 

Madelis: Surprised? You shouldn't be. I suppose I would've liked seeing that old man in his younger days. Seeing him die so quickly made me pity him even. Who knows, perhaps I could've swayed him into a more...intimate relationship.

 

Aelita: Do not speak of my father like a man who'd be easily swayed by a witch.

 

Madelis: Oh? Did I strike a nerve? I quiver in fear of what a little girl like you is capable of doing.

 

Aelita: How about I wipe that smirk off your face when I do this...

 

[Aelita drops down and kicks Madelis into a wall]

 

Madelis: BITCH, YOU ARE GOING TO PAY FOR THAT! MEWTWO! Attack her until there is no trace of her body left.

 

Aelita: Now's your chance, Commander. Stop the generator while I have her distracted.

 

But Rejuv likes going the extra mile with explanations so we must continue:

 

(I mean they used Electrodes to power a generator back in Johto so this shouldn't really be surprising)

 

(Wait a minute...we have two legendary Pokemon seen before the second badge...not even Raptor XD went that far)

 

(Too bad it's not Mewtwo)

 

(I'm not even sure if Volcanion even has a brain honestly. I don't understand how it could resist)

 

(Excuse me while I bang my head on the wall for the stupidity that is in this sentence)

 

(I KNOW! YOU'RE THE THIRD PERSON TO TELL ME THIS!)

 

Seriously, why the hell are we even having this conversation? What is so important that Madelis is willing to waste her time talking to people who are very likely about to die. Seriously. And we're still not even close to being done.

 

(Yes because that would've been the smart thing to do)

 

(Pretty sure in-game commander is face palming right now)

 

You want to know the best part about this whole plan. If Volcanion backfires and makes this place erupt, it would kill Madelis, the entire shadow Pokemon line, and a ton of Xen members slowing down the Xen evil plan drastically. The layout design is also so terrible that someone such as Madelis could trip and fall to their deaths burning in a pit of lava. Did I mention many substances burn and deteriorate in...sorry I meant to say magma this whole time. So she spent who knows how much bloody money make an inefficient power system with a purpose she could have done just as well with hydroelectric technology which is much cheaper. A better remark would've been "I wanted to see what a legendary Pokemon really can do. Look around you, isn't it marvelous?" But this is nitpicking so don't take it too much to heart.

 

(And it was at this moment in-game Commander asked, "Are you high right now?")

 

(Remind why Keta agreed to this)

 

(Oh hey, at least Jan got his terms correct unlike me)

 

(I honestly think Mewtwo should be speaking with a sarcastic manner right about now. Oh wait wrong Mewtwo as that I was my nuzlocke tale...not the canon Mewtwo)

 

(Y'know, how have any of us not died of either heatstroke or inhaling carbon-monoxide and all the other hazardous materials surrounding us)

 

(Finally, my legs are killing me from all this standing around)

 

(Aelita, I love you, but you do know you're going to die trying that)

 

(.......Madelis, I really don't know with you anymore)

 

I would like to take a moment to refer to the section above where I managed to do everything said here in a matter of like 6 lines. All the rest of this explanation could be saved to when we get out of the mountain as there's a very, very fantastic moment to explain it which I'll show you.

 

(Didn't you just say that this thing was the generator? Make up you mind, woman)

 

(ARE YOU KIDDING ME!)

 

Is there anything this woman says that's not a bloody info dump? Someone please do a counter to the number of times she spoke info on a subject regarding team xen and their ambitions. I think it's like 10 or 12 now. 12 bloody explanations.

 

(Seriously, why are we still talking?)

 

(Someone please make her stop)

 

(Thank you, now I can get back to what I'm good at)

 

(And it's finally battle time)

 

I'm not going to beat around the bush here, but while Rejuv has it's share of really good stuff, it bogs itself down. I get it wants to bring logic to the table and explain all this stuff, but a good writer knows that you are only able to call yourself when you're able to explain something without explaining it. Info dumps are really, really bad in writing and I'm absolutely sure most people tuned this section out completely because even I completely forgot about it until now. And...i just remembered we're still not done with Madelis lines. Now for epic battle

 

(Or not. GDI Walter)

 

Yeah, Walter pretty much two shotted the guy. This battle is so anticlimatic compared to facing Mewtwo.

 

(And...my rant totally called it)

 

(That's just enough time...wait we can't get out of here in 30 minutes)

 

(...I'm not even going to ask)

 

(Someone tell me how Aelita's hair is floating like that)

 

(GDI Madelis, now I gotta hear another long explanation about how this scene came about)

 

(And I can safely say that Mewtwo is about to f*** Madelis up)

 

(........why are you explaining this to us?)

 

(Mewtwo, just end me right here and right now)

 

(Wait, are we done with explanations? We're done with explanations. Good).

 

I swear Jan has given more deep and heavy explanations than the Xenosaga series which has some really, really easy to get lost lore if you aren't paying attention. I'm actually also going to revert back to the Colosseum and XD games for a moment as well. Orre games had lore like this, but they placed it in Ein files and had NPCs you could talk to learn more about it. Heck, there could've been a scientist here to explain some of this stuff if we were interested in it. Most of what we heard is very, very irrelevant and story explanations should be seldom and far inbetween.

 

(I know. You told me this three times now).

 

(I'd be okay with hair that defies physics)

 

(She better not be. That'd be three character deaths in one short segment)

 

Then the alarm goes off (too lazy to screen cap this)

 

(Why do I have a feeling this is going to end very badly?)

 

(Totally called it)

 

(You know, I'm not really sure how I feel about Gothitelle being a mischievous Pokemon. It's a fresh change, but it also shows Crescent lacks control which everything else about her character shows that she is)

 

Oh lord have mercy we're done with that. Btw, we're not even close to being done with clipscenes here, but at least we're done with...that. And you know for a game that's supposed to be written like it's an anime, characters really don't show that whole over the top type of personality like they do in shonens. It's kind of strange really with a game not afraid to break physics with Venam flying out of the roof, bikers surfing down the roads, and whatever the heck you consider Zetta, it would just be oozing with personality. But I'll stop here as this is recap discussion and really, really there is a lot to talk about in this section.

 

I also just realized how naive Aelita was made here. I would've loved to see her implemented into this scene a whole lot more (like she could've figured out Volcanion would end up destroying the city) instead of being a prop so Madelis can monologue even more. I'm just relieved it's all over. And...somehow two weeks have passed or something. I don't really know how the game logic goes from this point but whatevs:

 

(That's kind of a pitiful hideout for what's supposed to be big wigs)

 

(Geara...the only one in the room who is making any sense)

 

(Seriously, I love how they believe she's just dead)

 

OH! I remember seeing a couple things Shofu mentioned. A point he actually made which was a legit point was the fact that all these facilities pop up conveniently when you need them like Dr. Jekel's lab. I honestly don't think Shadow Pokemon really need to be purified until about this point, but it was an interesting point (I focus mostly on story and battles and not all that often on the gameplay). The other thing was that even he mentioned about not believing Melia was dead and actually gave similar points as I did. This is a perfect moment to talk about it as they just straight up believe it and don't even consider doing an investigation or mention any reports. It's funny because some explanation worth mentioning isn't even put in the game, but all the logic behind Carratos Mountain had to be included.

 

(I don't know, begin training to take on the league challenge to become champ to have control of the league as well as stating you are far powerful than any other person in the world while working on world domination plans with tech behind the scenes. Just a thought)

 

(I'm gonna be honest...Zetta really wasn't much of a loss)

 

(And a basic nobody was able to beat those Pokemon)

 

(Not sure if Neved or purple haired lady)

 

(I'M NOT SHOUTING! I JUST HAVE A REALLY LOUD VOICE!)

 

(Okay so it was Neved speaking. It's so hard to tell anymore)

 

(Geara...Part of me thinks I should have you write this section of the run. You seem very...vocal about it)

 

(Another thing with going into and explaining a tad bit that gets skipped)

 

Seriously, this was a perfect time for Neved to shut Geara the heck up right now by saying something like "You are but a naive child if you truly though everything would go according to plan. While our loses are great, we cannot falter now nor ever."

 

(When you have the realization Neved has glowing red eyes that shoot lasers)

 

(Hypocrite much?)

 

(And your voice won't get out of my head)

 

(THANK YOU GEARA!)

 

(Thank you uhhh....pretty sure it's Natashia)

 

(I have a few things to say about Nastasia in a moment...one of them not being her hard to remember name)

 

(Yes, quite a few things)

 

(Imagine if Zetta were here right now. I wonder what this conversation would be like)

 

(Well a long time ago in a galaxy far...)

 

(The only reason I could see Geara facing that way is if he was mooning Madelis right about now)

 

(WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR EYE!)

 

Also is it me or does Neved look like a hobo?

 

(Also thanks for interrupting my amazing story. Now the viewers won't be able to hear it)

 

(Now Nastasia has seen a side of Geara she never wanted to see)

 

(Now she can't stop looking at it)

 

(IT WAS COL. MUSTARD ALL ALONG!)

 

(I'd say burn into a million pieces is a better way to say it)

 

(But...Keta doesn't know Retaliate. He had to forget the move to learn revenge)

 

(Suddenly, Drayden busts through the wall and beats the crap out of Geara)

 

(Cause she's totally into that sort of thing)

 

(Excuse me while I facedesk for a minute)

 

We had done 0 damage when you cornered us. If you had not went on your monologues, you would have completely won as crescent would not have been able to show up on time. Just throwing that out there now.

 

(In all honesty, she is responsible for her own failures due to her ego. I just battle Pokemon.)

 

(I'm pretty sure Crescent did absolutely nothing this time)

 

(Finally, something interesting happened)

 

(Me, I understand...Aelita not so much...)

 

(Comma, aren't you supposed to be in Pokemon Chronicles and not here?) >>>That's my character name when Commander doesn't fit

 

(Or you could...I don't know...leave me alone)

 

(Wow...a kid with only one gym badge put fear into Madelis's heart. Never underestimate the power of a piece of rock)

 

(...Now I have stalker...great)

 

(And Nastasia at this moment was like "oh thank god")

 

(Meanwhile Neved is like "Do not make eye contact. Do not make eye contact")

 

(Eh, I got nothing for this cap)

 

(Madame X...has something to do with me talking about Nastasia)

 

("Hey baby, how's it going. I heard someone ordered a special delivery for one of...me.")

 

I'm sorry, but I could imagine in-game Commander laying on that table flirting with one of those 4 very casually. I'll leave which one up to your imagination though it's not Geara though

 

(You can all start throwing money when ever your ready.)

 

("Oh hey, I remember you. I couldn't forget about our one night on the ship...even if I wanted to.")

 

("Now, now, one at a time. I don't do 3-somes.")

 

("Oh thank god. I didn't want to think about what would happen next.")

 

I'm actually going to cut it off there. I don't have much left for this section, but there's one thing I want to talk about. I actually think Nastasia would've been a really, really good leader for Team Xen and just more or less completely cut the whole Madame X thing out. I know you're probably getting a chuckle or laugh out of it, but it actually would make sense. She's the most influential character of the group in the plot yet...she really doesn't do all that much or show much personality. Cutting one of the villains also would allow for the other ones more screen time and development which all of them need pretty badly. Even Geara. I don't know if the rewrite improved him, but what I've seen of Geara makes him what I'd consider a below average villain, but passable.

 

Nastasia also could have been a very interesting character even if she's not a masked villain like Madame X. But her only two appearances are just...weak. If they were built up strong such as a character like Yuriev I displayed in a video in the previous chapter, she could have been the thing most people talked about an anticipated because her layout is intriguing. Anyways, I'll get to the comments you guys posted in the next chapter where we finally take down Keta for good and get out of this segment.

[Zargerth]

What do you think would improve Team Xen Leaders as villains? You mention they lack personality and would benefit from having more screen time, but what exactly do you mean with more personality? Is it about them having more characteristic or character traits - this reminds me of a video I watched, it was about what makes villains feel real - and they mentioned humor. It makes them, the villains,  feel human. 

 

As for Melia's "death", do you think some of her hair would have worked looking at you Fire Emblem?

 

Nevertheless, I have plenty of catching up to do but that might take some time since I have an attention span of a goldfish.

[Commander]

On 7/30/2017 at 4:58 PM, FactoryofSadness said:

When you get to Terajuma Island and find the first village, there is a certain cutscene which plays (I'd tell you which one, but you'll know when you get there). I'd love to see your take on it. Also, I completely agree with you about Madelis. She could've been such an interesting character, but we don't see her too much. Having said that, you may like the next Xen admin you run into. This individual certainly has more personality, even if said personality needs a bit of fine tuning.

 

more screentime =/= better character development. For me personally, I feel dialogue is one of the best and most effective ways to flesh out a character and often speaks volumes. A personal belief of mine is that if you're struggling to show off a character, have them converse with another character about a subject. You can learn quite a lot about both characters just from a single exchange. As for Geara (I've played Rejuv before so this is far from a blind run), he certainly stood out in a good way, but sadly, I'd say it's a tie between Jeniper and Geara who the best written character in the game is.

 

On 7/30/2017 at 5:10 PM, Grelliebean said:

 

*glances at my avatar* ....

 

Wow... I didn't realize Madelis was so flat as a character when I played Rejuv. Yikes.

 

Flamboyant Gay Pope Madelis probably would respond with something like, "You don't know what you're missing. That dunderhead Geara is totes jealous of my figure."

 

On 7/31/2017 at 2:05 AM, Youmu9 said:

I loved your rewrite of this scene. I'd be okay with more if you feel the dialogue is boring or bland. Saves time with the screencaps too.

 

Eh, screencaps really don't take that long so it's not much of a time difference since I have to think about what to write in a scene (though I'm pretty good a winging it...I think). I'm not going to do it too often unless scenes go way too far in a certain direction (such as unnecessary text dumps of explanations)

 

On 7/31/2017 at 2:51 AM, IntSys said:

Shadow Mewtwo isn't that tough. You just have to proc its Hyper Mode and let it KO itself with Hyper Mode recoil.

Personally I wouldn't count Rift Gyarados as an impossible fight, at its current iteration. It has been nerfed to the ground, with vastly worse stats than before AND lowered level making it a paper tiger or would you say a Paper Gyarados?

 

I guess you're right in that sense because Gyarados was even easier than I remember. My general rule for impossible battle is a mon with the power to one-shot a player easily, but the player has the option to lose.

 

On 8/1/2017 at 3:01 AM, Zargerth said:

What do you think would improve Team Xen Leaders as villains? You mention they lack personality and would benefit from having more screen time, but what exactly do you mean with more personality? Is it about them having more characteristic or character traits - this reminds me of a video I watched, it was about what makes villains feel real - and they mentioned humor. It makes them, the villains,  feel human. 

 

As for Melia's "death", do you think some of her hair would have worked looking at you Fire Emblem?

 

Nevertheless, I have plenty of catching up to do but that might take some time since I have an attention span of a goldfish.

 

Look at my first response. I really do think conversing with characters greatly would benefit all of them (Geara is one of like two of them that really do it in their intros), but don't have them all act like the big bad. I honestly thought Madelis or Nastasia was the leader of team Xen solely due to how they acted and presented themselves. But as for lack of personality, I have to break it down into various levels. Movement, voice, and motivations. Movement is basically the actions they do on screen (with RPGmaker this is very limited) with the more you can keep them from standing still and monologing, the better. Voice is what most people would consider a sound, but in writing it's how one speaks. Word choice is a very peculiar thing in which can completely change a characters personality. For example:

 

"It seems we're lost. Let's go back and meet the others."

 

"The gods above have given us mercy to reach yet another dead end. Father, what have I done to deserve this wretched and eternal curse. Alas, we should return from wence we came to see if any of our people have seen the light."

 

"Oh great, [player]. You've gotten us lost yet again. Maybe if you'd listen to what I say instead of blitzing off we'd be out of here by now. Why not just cheat at this point? Whatever pride you had seemed to dissipate anyways. Huh? You're still not giving up. Maybe we should go back and meet with the others before we hit yet another wall."

 

"Hi, Wall! It's nice to meet you. Man, this guy is more of a talker than you are. Anyways, let's keep going so we can make even more friends. Or...maybe we should go find our realsies friends and have a party. I like that idea better so let's do that."

 

I could go on forever, but you can see there are numerous ways to write a simple phrase and can add a lot of depth to a character. These are a bit exaggerated to prove a point, but you can see how much of a difference it can make (and it takes more time and effort).

 

As for the last topic, motivation is king to building a character. Instead of saying a villain is a bad guy, let's jump into their perspective when I say this: nearly all villains feel what they are doing is righteous or justified. This does not mean the players understand or agree with that statement though. It could be asinine logic like a man killing millions because one kid took his orange in high school. This is my go to when I'm struggling with making a character interesting to help modify or rebuild them (usually a combination of both).

 

-

 

The problem with Melia's death is that it is one of the most overused cliches in the history of anything. The fact that if you kill an important character within the first bits of anything is a major shocker to audiences (looking at you F/GO). If there was blood splattered everywhere and a corpse then I'd say it was more believable, but the golden rule is that if there ain't a dead body/they didn't die on screen, they aren't dead (except Gideon from CS. RIP Gideon).

 

The only way to really resolve this would have been to really, really downplay Melia's role ie make it seem less important than it really is. I guess how I would have done it was by removing Melia's shiny abilities entirely and having the sewer focus on Venam and her irresponsibility causing havoc on the city which the garbage attracted the Garbodor. I'd also have the suitcase Melia was given actually be given to the player in which Melia follows the player to Goldenwood out of curiosity. Team Xen then attacks Goldenwood forest not to capture Melia, but to kind of cause havoc and throw fear into the hearts of people (in which Jenniper gave you a snag machine to try and stop them). He only did so as he knew he couldn't keep his daughter from being caught into the havoc. When the player meets Zetta, he has a moment of silence looking at Melia before going into his conversation about rift mons. Melia asks what's with the look with his response being "It's nothing you'd understand."

 

The Madelis scene instead of Melia being the chosen the conversation would be about how Jenipper was given a child to be raised to being Xen's most prized pawn, but how he seems to forgotten the deal and treated Melia like she was his own child. This leads to Melia barging in and Madelis attacks trying to dispose of her (or to capture to teach some manners), but she manages to get away by the teleport bs. Then we get to Amethyst where Zetta loses it because he "saw" Melia get attacked by a herd of Galvantula caused by his own doing and all that was left was a blood patch and the bloody bag. He didn't actually mean to kill Melia, but he was summoning rift Galvantula while she just randomly appeared.

 

Anyways that's enough Commander talking...for now so let's get back into the chapter:

 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Chapter 15: After 3,000 years...we made it

 

(What goes through everyone's mind after they PM me)

 

(Are you sure you aren't referring to my PM box?)

 

(There's no badge, why would I ever want to come back here?)

 

(Insert Paper Mario Reference here)

 

(It's probably best that we don't talk about it. But hey, I got 1k Poke out of it)

 

(Dude, you got knocked out faster than Glass Joe)

 

(Oh shit...did the volcano explode and everyone died? Wait...everything looks fine. You lied to me)

 

(Was he ever...too soon?)

 

(...Because everyone want to fight Mewtwo with their bare hands)

 

(I would've been fine because Crescent doesn't want me dead. You on the other hand...how are you alive exactly?)

 

(So...you're going to be a grumpy man living in a shack...lovely)

 

(Hold on a minute...)

 

You know, I just realized something. Why did Keta ever even agree to join/work with Team Xen. Keta is not a stupid guy as at the entrance of Amethyst Cave he showed a bit of his Wisdom (which he randomly forgot after he lost the hood), but joining Team Xen makes no sense. He cared about the village or at least somewhat cared, but he sold it and pretty much sentenced everyone to death which he probably already knew about. Keta also serves very little use to Xen unless of course he was covering up the whole mt thing, but I doubt Xen really needed that so Keta could be disposed at any given moment. I'm not being critical here, but I legit forget what Team Xen promised or their part of the deal to Keta and everything seems like he had no reason to serve them at all. Anyways let's continue...

 

(Unlike a certain black haired boy)

 

(Hold up...you do realize this place is irrelevant without a badge, right?)

 

(...We're going to the Reborn region, aren't we?)

 

(Dr. Jenkel did it first)

 

(Or she's taking a nap. Old people need their sleep)

 

(I didn't know there was a keyblade hidden here)

 

(...Can I become a keyblade warrior?)

 

(Thank you Aelita for finally asking a relevant question)

 

(...Now we're just stealing Colosseum's storyline)

 

(THAT IS NOT IRONY!)

 

So normally I wouldn't comment on the misuse of this term, but Melia knowing slang or like that slang stuff kids misuse such as words like epic is not something Aelita would do. She grew up in an isolated village and very isolated from modern culture which helps define her naiveness. Not sure if this is fitting as Aelita is...hard to define as a character, but you'd think after all the shit that went down she would avoid making comments like this.

 

(Just like this segment)

 

(....I forget, why am I here again?)

 

(....I...I'm gonna shut up)

 

Okay, I think I said this before, but I can't help but notice Aelita is just being used as an excuse to info dump info onto a player. I get the explaning purification is important, but I prefer the older one where it was just behind a tree we go there and purify mons with a statue. It was simple for a simple not often used mechanic.

 

(It's actually made of mahogany)

 

(.....10/10 Best name ever)

 

(SHE LITERALLY JUST SAID THAT!)

 

(Oh god this is Madelis all over again)

 

(Now I really miss the old tree one)

 

(Wait...who's sub did we sink?)

 

Oh, I forgot to say something. Remember how I said there was a better place to state all the stuff Madelis just said. When the player returns to Sheridan, that would have been a perfect time for Aelita to inform the player what was going on and how the mountain is slowly stabilizing so it won't erupt. Maybe even give a run down how people are handling what happened. Y'know stuff we might want to see. But no, mechanics take priority.

 

(No wonder why the elder is so chill. Am I allowed to take some of this on the go?)

 

(I though it was called Purification Grove)

 

(Suddenly I'm thinking about Pokemon 4ever)

 

(......Okay, now can you stop talking so I can move on from my journey)

 

(...Sharon, you've officially become best girl)

 

(Excuse me while I go sit on that pillar over there)

 

(Aelita, am I allowed to ban you from asking questions? Weren't you RESEARCHING this for a week)

 

[Skipping the Celebi appearing scene because laziness]

 

(I'm starting to wonder how much research Aelita actually did)

 

(Everyone, save this screencap and post it every time someone asks for when the next episode is released. Respond with this and only this)

 

(...Technically, there are 1 and infinite Celebi when you look at the concept of time)

 

(If Celebi could speak it'd be saying, "STFU, I'll show up whenever I want to")

 

(Is "Who the hell called me this time" in English)

 

(.......Pretty sure everyone who even know this game exists knows what Celebi is)

 

(Stands for "What have you done to my domain?" in English)

 

(How are those trees even alive?)

 

("The shrine already has the power to purify, dumbass. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm traveling back to the 90s. I got tickets to the Backstreet boys.)

 

(And Celebi gives a slight glare before flying off)

 

(I wouldn't want to be in this time either so I don't blame it)

 

(...wouldn't that mean it has infinite time to look at stuff)

 

(......I wonder if this place has any snacks)

 

(I think the explanation here is actually longer than the game its based upon)

 

(Oh, are we finally done? I think I've had enough clipscenes for a lifetime)

 

(...I'll just respond with a no comment here)

 

(Yes, and good-bye)

 

(If you're asking me to settle down with you, that'd be a definite know. I'm desperate, not crazy)

 

(Thanks, now can I please go?)

 

(Spoiler alert: I won't)

 

(Pretty sure you forgot your brain back there in the mountain)

 

(It's okay. I didn't need it anyways)

 

(I'm having Vietnam flashbacks about that explanation)

 

(Elder, please tell me this isn't an explanation as well)

 

(Oh thank god. We're searching for a person)

 

(That name sound familiar...like the leader of West Gearen familiar)

 

(Pretty sure Xen would find a way to disable it...again)

 

(Aelita, I think you should take some life lessons from the protag)

 

(......Why is this textbox even here?)

 

(And now the elder is dumping her issues onto me. Curses, granny)

 

(How old is Aelita again? I swear this is like a little kid asking if they can go visit a friend...not that I've experienced it)

 

Think I missed a box where Aelita worries about the village's fate:

 

(Which is fancy for the elder saying "Drinks are all on me.")

 

(So basically the elder is going to keep doing what she was doing)

 

(Meanwhile, Commander is a bit annoyed by the whole scenario)

 

(Oh good, actually relevant information)

 

(Dammit Aelita, is there nothing you can't screw up?)

 

(...I once knew somebody like that...they're dead now)

 

(Hold on...I thought her name was Tathys...or was it Tania)

 

 

Unless her name is Vivian Taelia...which doesn't make sense...you know what, I'm a bit confused. Let's uhhh...not worry about that

 

(Yes, yes you were)

 

(That sounds like a nice and peaceful town Ren grew up in)

 

(Nonsense, I'm sure they are a peaceful people)

 

(Aelita shall serve as a great meat shield. Keta displayed how sturdy they are)

 

Yes, this was all back to back to back clipscenes for the past 2 battles which both consist of a single mon.

 

(Wait...how are you still here?)

 

And now we venture back through Amethyst cave...again...I'm starting to hate that cave.

 

(He knows too much)

 

(I actually miss Revenant Keta showing up for the gym fight. It was a cool detail)

 

(We accomplished basically nothing so...no idea what you're talking about)

 

(By the way, where is Keta's body? I don't think it was destroyed)

 

(Pretty sure he did that to commit suicide...kind of like Xander)

 

(Keta screwed me of a badge and dropped all his problems on me?)

 

(...I just said that)

 

(Good, now I can go home, right?)

 

(...I still don't understand how you're still here?)

 

(......I'm not gonna ask how, but okay, I'll take it)

 

And now for an epic...

 

(Battle?)

 

Okay, I wasn't expecting this battle to be interesting so I didn't screencap it, but...I was satisfied with this battle so I didn't do something I was planning to but anyways to kind of give you a rundown:

 

From memory I know he lead with Hitmontop and I believe I lead with Sirius where I paralyzed him before switching to Loewe. Loewe was critically damaged, but managed to finish Hitmontop off with a Razor Shell (his now sig move). Next Pangoro came out and Loewe managed to land a Razor Shell to lower its defense before falling. Next I sent out Gaius (Leavanny) who did quite a bit of damage, but wasn't enough to finish him off. Agate (Growlithe) came in and finished the job with a flame wheel. Next came the Hawlucha which Boomdock did a bit of damaged, but missed a charge beam causing it to only have half his health before fainting. Agate came back in and barely lived to finish off another foe. All that was left was Sawk. Sirius Black came in to paralyze it, but I switched him out after a venoshock so that I could heal him back up losing Agate and Gaius in the process. Sirius came back in and after two Venoshocks defeated Sawk. That's not the exact battle, but I almost lost in a nutshell.

 

(...So beating people up makes them see the light...that...wait, don't look into the light)

 

(Y'know, you could at least have talked to Aelita, you're own daughter, before going. That might be more important than a rock...just saying)

 

(But I ain't gonna complain about this)

 

(...Because a 10-year-old boy totally is gonna save the world from its evils)

 

(....You act like a world without Melia is a bad thing)

 

(....I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS!)

 

Okay, so I actually know what this whole little thing is, but I actually don't remember the souls that go onto it as iirc, only one person died at the point I reached before stopping. I know of one other death, but I don't know if it counts toward this. Anyways, I actually thought the Keta fight here was really good. I know everyone is giving crap about it only being 4 Pokemon instead of 6, but let me explain. At this point in a game, most mons on a team are filler or fodder in order to not overwhelm the player. This fight just cut the filler and brought only the real challenge which is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, having the first leader start with 3 and the second leader having 4 Pokemon for a challenging game I think would work better. So what I'm saying is that I felt Revenant Keta was just right in difficulty.

 

I think that's gonna be it for this part, but this recap is going to be a nightmare to make. Expect it some time soon though. But HALLELUJAH I AM FINISHED WITH THIS SECTION!

[Zargerth]

About the part concerning Taelia: if you rearrange the letters, you get Aelita. I don't know how significant it is but I'm willing to assume it's not coincidence. This doesn't answer to the question of who is Vivian, though.

 

I can definitely see the difference from the examples you provided. I hadn't even realised it before, but now that you mentioned movement as part of character's personality, it does make sense.

Spoiler

I mean, the impression you get of say, Albedo to use Xenosaga as an example, just like you did (when Momo encounters him) would be very different if he didn't show off his ability to regenerate, especially in the manner he did.

 

Have you made a written, analytic run like this of Reborn?

[Commander]

12 hours ago, Zargerth said:

About the part concerning Taelia: if you rearrange the letters, you get Aelita. I don't know how significant it is but I'm willing to assume it's not coincidence. This doesn't answer to the question of who is Vivian, though.

 

I can definitely see the difference from the examples you provided. I hadn't even realised it before, but now that you mentioned movement as part of character's personality, it does make sense.

  Reveal hidden contents

I mean, the impression you get of say, Albedo to use Xenosaga as an example, just like you did (when Momo encounters him) would be very different if he didn't show off his ability to regenerate, especially in the manner he did.

 

Have you made a written, analytic run like this of Reborn?

I actually just learned...this may have been missed from a very early release where Taelia's name was changed to Vivian...which actually explains why the whole Shadow Mewtwo segment really stood out.

 

Also, Margulis is my favorite Xenosaga Villain, but I really like Albedo and was the saving grace when getting through Xenosaga II (then again an Albedo moment was a always a good moment).

 

As for a written run of Reborn, I don't plan to since that game is just...I've played it so many times I could probably tell you differences, references to what characters are talking about and even get into a little bit of the community it was based around where old vets probably could jump in and help from time to time. I do have a review of my first impressions written somewhere which I will finish and post once the game is complete, but...that's probably all I'll ever do for it. These in depth runs take a lot of work to do, but it's worth the effort during the downtimes.

--------

Recap 2: From Venam to Keta

 

Okay so basically what happens is that the player leaves Venam's gym and joins a questionable gang who gives him rock smash. (Though I would have preferred if a gang member instead of the gym guide hinted to do this sidequest). The player then goes to route...1 I think? (We'll call it the land purple tree eaters) and meets Nim and thus Commander's bizarre adventures begin. Then Amethyst cave happens where we find out Melia is dead and Zetta gets thrown in...bad people jail...whatever Crescent thinks that is. From that, we meet Keta and spirit Keta who both try to help us save Melia, but it doesn't work. Then we fight Keta who runs off where his daughter, Aelita follows along with us. We meet a robot who sets off an alarm warning Xen of are ambush in which we get trapped, but then Keta save us so we can help him stop Xen and save his daughter. When we get to the end, we meet Madelis who explains that they were using this mountain to create Shadow Pokemon and when they were finished they were going to blow up the mountain killing everyone in town. We then face Shadow Mewtwo in which Madelis destroys are snag Machine, but we still somehow beat Shadow Mewtwo, but not really so Keta goes all Chuck Norris and fights Mewtwo one-on-one while Aelita and Commander make an escape to the engine room which they destroy Volcanion causing the factory to go on meltdown. Mewtwo shows up and beats the shit out of Madelis due to making him a Shadow Pokemon and Crescent appears to warp up out. Commander randomly shows up on Xen's dinning room table before being warped back to Sheridan Village where they meet up with Aelita who says she's been doing research, but not really in which we find a spirit realm to purify Shadow Pokemon. Then Spirit Keta shows up and gives us a badge we earned a long while back for defeating him in battle. In other words, a lot of stuff happened.

 

So to start off, I want to apologize how I handled something. That segment featuring SEC I kind of lost it and handle it very, very poorly. All it does is make me look bad or a fool. I'll try to keep that part of me in check for now on. However, I do not take back my thoughts on SEC. I would take much of what I said back if his character had more substance than merely a random character to entertain the audience. It's an oppinion and SEC in the long run is very irrelevant so talking about him too much would be not worth the time.

 

This section also had a lot of "negativity" but I should cover the positive stuff first. I think the whole section from right after exiting Venam's gym all the way to the start of Amethyst Cave was pretty good. The elder as a character was also done quite well and was at least interesting to see. The regular Keta fight I felt was a little underwhelming compared to Venam (in fact I'd say Venam is twice as hard), but Rev Keta I felt was a just right difficulty for the 15% mark of the game. The early parts of the game are the most fluctuating so complaining something is too easy is better than too hard since many players will still be using weak mons or ones who have yet to hit their max potential. I also love how the new overworld sprites are really amped up and look really nice.

 

Now remember how I said I like this section before, I kind of dislike it now. It all kind of starts past entering Amethyst Cave. We kind of hit a large section where characters kind of go out-of-character or act in ways you wouldn't normally expect it. Melia's death made only Zetta upset (the others were, but they both took it better than most people). There were tons of segments where characters were lacking and more or less I'd say almost half the text in this segment was merely there just to explain or info dump. I also think level pacing is a bit awkward (mostly Keta being too low level with help quests and all that pushing towards 25-28 range). But I think what really bothers me is that Jan took an entire section, rebuilt many, many chunks of it from the ground up, but story changes were added to extend time rather than adding content.

 

That's another thing that's been bothering me. Like there had to be a year or maybe even two spent on redoing all this stuff. You saw how I managed to redo a conversation in about I don't know 30 minutes. If an hour was spent on each day for like a month, a lot of the dialogue could have been redone to be more pact full of character and not information. I think a lot of the Keta, Aelita, and Xen admins really needed that time and they could have been so interesting and what we are talking about. It's not something game makers usually focus on despite it not costing that many resources and adding so much to a game.

 

-------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Now for some of my things I was going to talk about in the recap:

 

Emotions, or lack thereof: I know I talked about this a lot of time, but the Melia scene is the best to use to describe motions. One of the best examples I have that displays emotions from a sad scene is mother 3.

 

Spoiler

 

 

It's a good demonstration scene of showing how people act towards a death of a character despite having very limited motions, no voices, and even a silent lead suffering the most. But the good thing to take note is to take note of how all the characters move and what they do despite not speaking words. I could link one that uses only lines, but...I'm sure I don't need to.

 

Seriously not serious plot: Ah yes, one thing I noticed about Rejuv is that it's at its best when it's not trying to be serious. The silliness of the sidequests, the humor moments (even if I don't like SEC, it's certainly far from the worst thing in the episode), and whatever crazy thing pops up next. There's nothing wrong with this, but I feel Rejuv would be better if it stayed a course of being a not serious plot or adventure because those parts are so entertaining. There's all this lore in the background, but it's displayed...very iffy. I usually don't take the serious parts that serious just due to how the game is set up (but hey, I prefer light hearted games once in a while)

 

Explanation, Explanation, Explanation: Okay, one thing people should keep in mind is that the core audience for Pokemon games is Pokemon fans (I like Pokemon, but I'm not really a big fan of the thing...it's not even in my top 10 favorite series or even close), but the thing is that these people skew towards lesser RPG players who are keen on story and world and are gamers who skew more towards action and combat. A lot of the scenes here did not really satisfy either group. So some good advice for areas with long scenes is to break up the segments so that the player can move around, take a break, or even go back to train.

 

So...some explanations or overly long explanations are unavoidable, but like 10 of the ones in this segment could have been cut or shortened quite a bit, but that's not the bigger issue. The cast during these segments are just pure boring or flat. I showed numerous times how a great character can even make the most boring info exciting or tense. Cutting back also means more a player is going to remember. I feel a lot was dumped in a single segment (I literally forgot the entire Madelis conversation and only recalled it due to screencaps), but characters are more important. Probably the best video to describe how it works.

Spoiler

 

 

 

As for my own suggestions, I only suggest really two things right now. The first would be to use the text extractor to extract the text into a word document so that it's easy to read and relook at it to rewrite it in order to give an impression of characters that they are supposed to be portrayed. Script format is very, very useful as reading in RPGmaker is next to impossible. I'd also suggest getting a peer who knows their writing style to look over it and suggest changes (obviously not all of their suggestions should be followed as no writer is perfect or best suited for a writer's style).

 

The other would be to play story heavy RPGs (aka long ass games) to get an idea how they handle characters. Mother 3, Legend of Heroes Trails of Cold Steel, Tales of Symphonia (or any of the tales games), FFIX, The Last Story, Chrono Trigger, and Xenogears are just a few of the games that come to my mind. Xenogears is probably the one I'd recommend to Jan the most because it has a similar writing style to what Jan is going for...but...it can be easy to get lost and a whole lot of faults (partially to blame due to Square Enix giving them the shaft for FFVIII).

[Commander]

I have a feeling by the end of this run I'm going to be an alcoholic and I don't even like the stuff.

 

Chapter 16: We finally reach THAT part

 

Yeah boys and girls you know what exact part I'm talking about if you've played the older episodes.

 

But first...

 

(I actually forgot about this. Manectric is nice but...would've been better pre-Venam tbh)

 

This is just a random thought, but I never really talked about the difficulty modes. I don't actually understand why it isn't a menu option. Five games from the top of my head that let you change difficulty are Bravely Default, Legend of Heroes Cold Steel (it's a pseudo one), Fairy Fencer F DAF, Tales of Symphonia, Fire Emblem Fates. Maybe it's outside of Jan's limits, but I really don't understand the purpose of the tent and the price to change difficulty. Anyways story time:

 

(Sounds like an Animal Crossing Village)

 

(Well Peewee isn't the nicest Gorilla but he means well)

 

>>>Story time: Peewee was one of my villagers in the GC Animal Crossing which I hated until I changed his catch phrase. He's my second favorite villager after Bob now.

 

(...please tell me I'm becoming the mayor of that town)

 

Oh Goldenwood. I have to be honest that is the weakest part of the story for the longest time and I'm not sure if it still holds true. And btw, I'm not going to pretend, like I'm pretty sure Shofu is, that I haven't played the game and don't know what's going to happen. There have been some wow moments, but improvements rarely do that for me. Unless you are Fire Emblem Echoes cause holy smokes for a game that never thought was going to happen hit it out of the park

 

(My battle senses are tingling. Well...some strange sensation is going on in my lower body)

 

(Nah, my name's Carl. Commander called it quits after fighting Keta. Finally went over the edge)

 

Boring not screen cap worthy stuff

 

(Uhh...I have no idea who it is nor am I responsible for his disappearance)

 

While I could say Amanda is being dense not making a deduction that an obvious suspect is right in front of her, but here's another thing I want to bring up. If the protag could take, they probably would be saying something in their thoughts not telling Amelia anything so that she isn't dragged deeper in this mess as well. As in the character would take everything they learn and apply it to this situation.

 

And yes, I prefer talking protags and as their 1 to 1 dialogue with people can be some of the best moments of their games. Some of my favorites are:

Rean and Sarah (from Cold Steel)

Rean and Jusis (this conversation plays all too important a role in the entire CS segment)

Lloyd and Kratos (from Tales of Symphonia)

Estelle vs 3rd Anguis (from Skies SC)

Wes and Duster (Mother 3)

Alm and Rudolf (FE Echoes)

 

I'm sure people could add to the list some of their favorite conversations from main protagonists. Both work, but Silent are harder to write for and around imo.

 

(I would like one segment without mentioning the name Melia please)

(You...aren't the one who inherited the brains, are you?)

 

Not gonna rant...not gonna rant...

 

(Pretty sure they are all about the faulty Jackpot Starters)

 

(Depressed, confused, hungry, and tired. Also, how old are you?)

 

(Those pieces of medal are in a pocked in my pants...I'm not even gonna question how you know)

 

Seriously, how does one even know how many badges another has. It's not like we wear them on our shirt.

 

(...I...you act like I don't know how to battle)

 

(I learned a new fighting move from Keta. Do you want to see it?)

 

(If it weren't for the laws of this game, I'd be kicking your ass right now)

 

(...Now you're just being foxy)

 

So I have mixed feelings about this fight, but I'm so glad the level spike is gone. Anyways, Walter does what Walter does best by beating the crap out of mons with his fists rocks.

 

(She wasted so much time healing otherwise sun would be still up and solar beam would've killed)

 

I must get a coat and sunglasses for this guy, but don't worry, I haven't forgotten the most important part of the fight

 

>His stones shall pierce the fires of hell

 

(A good old clash between the Bladelord and the Black Fang)

 

This actually was a pretty close fight until Amanda spent time healing her Pokemon up.

 

(*Ahem* Feel the sting of the Swordmaster's blade)

 

(I mean I used two mons I got way back before my first badge to beat you)

 

(Shouldn't I be the one giving you an advice? God I miss in-game me having a voice)

 

(Can I go now?)

 

(Bye Amanda)

 

(Yeah, yeah not like any of them are gonna get far so go do that)

 

(Don't turn around and it'll go away)

 

(It's Ren. The guy lost all meaning in his life. I'm surprised he hasn't like locked himself in his room or something)

 

(....Doesn't everyone do that already?)

 

Okay I'm going to be honest, this was a dick move and it should have just been cut at the "Ren looked a little tense" as the rest of this adds nothing. I'll go a bit more into why I do not this little segment in a bit.

 

(Again, doesn't everyone do that already?)

 

(YOU DECIDE!)

 

(She's strongly implying she crushed him so bad he was depressed for an hour kind of victory)

 

Okay so on the next route I began training some new guys up and Ratigan until I met this beauty

 

 

I would nickname Pancha, but I can't so we'll have to deal with that name for now. But meet Albedo. Albedo will be joining the team for a little bit since Zangoose is awesome and isn't really used enough in the game or on teams.

 

I also decided to explore some stuff and choose the cave spot first to see what I could find on that side. I stopped at the first trainer I met:

 

(Just slowly back away from the strange man and pretend you didn't see anything)

 

Suddenly I ran into this:

(Why does that trainer have a Starmie? I want a Starmie)

 

(And I accomplished what I wanted to do)

 

Now I picked Pangoro for the fact its fighting/dark and I don't see people really talk about it. It's also easy to raise so investing in it really isn't that bad. I think I spent 10 minutes on wild mons, but that was a focus to catch everyone up since this section is/was level spike hell

 

(I bought 99 of these babies)

 

>>>Free Pancakes at IVOP (International Van of Pancakes)

 

As you can see, I don't really use items all that much so it adds up and stacks a lot. Rebels are for the weak

 

>>>Repel those Rebels by joining the empire today

 

(I'm...an expert in a different kind of pounding)

 

(And a different kind of body exercise)

 

(Baby, I learned from the legendary Dr. Jenkel. Nobody's technique can even...what am I saying? I'm not that far gone)

 

(Dr. Jenkel?)

 

(Well...this is now awkward)

 

(You getting that close is making me uncomfortable)

 

(Commander, but obs that's not my real name)

 

(I see we have something in COMMAn)

 

(Wait...oddly colored haired...a bit flamboyant...not afraid of boys...FATHER! IS THAT YOU?)

 

(Wait, wait, wait, you didn't let me explain that I'm your son)

 

(Well...this is new)

 

I'm going to display a pic of my team after Lombre...I think

 

 

 

This is my team after that Sudowoodo

 

 

 

Then Gauis finished off the two Ludicolos

 

 

...okay wtf happened to Rorim B. There was nothing wrong with that fight. It's like me taking the Reborn Archer and Maxwell fights and replacing the three mons with Crobat, Mightyena, and Camerupt/Sharpedo instead of adding those mons on. This is now a crappy Mirror B fight in singles format to serve as a mini-boss instead of that unique team that matched him in the story. It made sense he used bug types, but one of his mons could be Ludicolo. Sigh...this isn't a gripe about difficulty but taking a fight that was unique (and fun) and removing it to be a generic reference to Orre...as if there weren't enough as is.

 

(You were totally rad too, dad)

 

(I'm just glad I discovered who my father was)

 

(What? I thought you loved me)

 

(I AM YOUR FAMILY!)

 

(Now I'm sad)

 

(There's...nobody else here)

 

Well that...was the weirdest experience meeting a family member. I'm not actually sure if I'd make Rorim B in-game Commander's father, but that'd bring a pretty hilarious conversation, but he'd definitely not be related to Mirror B as I don't like having too many character relations with canon characters.

 

(I'm alone again. Hello darkness, my old friend)

 

(the part that got cut off was "and die")

 

(Lady, I'd be dying to go on a date with you...oh boy, that pun might be the real killer)

 

(Lady, I promise in the end that you'll be the one leaving)

 

The reason I hate Goldenwood so much is that the dialogue here is forced so much and is just so unrealistic. A good example hmmm...there's quite a few...give me a minute...Fire Emblem Path of Radiance is a good one. So racism is really, really bad in this game as beorc (humans) and laguz (humans who can transform into animals) and the beorc hate and even want to kill/hunt laguz. It's so bad that they would rather serve an enemy who probably is going to kill them anyways than join allience with laguz who have done no wrong to them recently. Obviously, this cycle is not one sided either as laguz hate beorc and would rather not work with them and have done terrible things to those who enter their territory. This is a medieval setting so killing is not so extreme a thing, but even then they do not spout slang to any person (Ike and Lethe is a good support around this even).

 

Now we go back to Goldenwood's people. The only closest thing I can think on the top of my head that would act like that is hick town southerners. Though the problem there is that those guys speak with guns more than words. But bleh, I don't like this section as it's not funny (unless you count shofu roasting that one NPC) and there's nothing clever. Suddenly, I have urges to play Legend of Heroes Trails of Cold Steel cause this brings back memories of Bareahard.

 

(Your mother must love you dearly)

 

 

(Deep breaths, Commander)

 

(...Baby, you'll be getting plenty of "breaks" when I'm done with you)

 

Now for the Ren...

 

(I guess Ren will show up after a scene)

 

(Can someone explain what this piece of metal in front of me is?)

 

(It was at this moment Commander knew...he fucked up)

 

(Do I have permission to change Pokemon...and save)

 

(Please don't)

 

 

Even with a Raticate, Pangoro, and Zangoose on my team, I still managed to get to her last Pokemon but given Gaius...is my last Pokemon...yeah...

 

(I was so pissed when I saw this come up)

 

I'm gonna be honest, I was not expecting to fight Aelita, but what was worse that Jan wrote it so that you expected to fight Ren right then and there. That's false broadcasting so prepping for his dark team...like I did...I was severely crippled, but I would've done that regardless because I know the game. I also was not expecting to fight 3 fighting type trainers in a row (if you don't count Volcanion or Mewtwo as bosses). 3 fighting type bosses in a row. Sigh...let's try this again with a team NOT deathly weak to fighting

 

I sacrificed Sirius to para glare to weaken this thing, her deadliest pokemon. Para hax let Panch KO it

 

And Walter...

nevermind

 

Agate proves he's better than Walter

 

Don't remember what happened here but Gaius is Gaius so he won obvs

 

(Loewe got his butt beat here sadly)

 

(I have no idea how Pancha got paralyzed honestly)

 

(Seriously how did Pancha get paralyzed?)

 

(No matter what, fighting Aelita is always a pain)

 

That battle actually wasn't too bad, but it's a hell of a lot more balanced than the whole Ren thing from before being in the 35s as I was expecting. Glad that got fixed.

 

(YOU LITERALLY JUST SAID THAT!)

 

I'm sure Commander's blood pressure is really bad around her. I actually picture him saying that out loud even.

 

(Is this the bring back all the characters I hate segment?)

 

(Ren...glad to see you.)

 

(I now have no faith in the Aveium people)

 

(I realized something. Ren, you're a shorty)

 

(No...I totally thought it lead to Raccoon City)

 

(I'd call them Xenophobic extremists)

 

(So something like this:)

Spoiler

 

 

(Thank you Ren, you are the first person who understands me)

 

(Wow, dissing your home...that's some deep shit)

 

(Don't worry, I plan to reform these a-holes giving them one "break" at a time. Danny already has seen my work in action)

 

(Ren, I love you man, but this is an oman for you doing something that you'll regret)

>>>No homo

 

(...)

 

(Oh good you provided something to hit my head on this time)

 

(So the people have a gate that is able to keep people from entering, but they built a fence to block people from entering a gate which can block them from entering. I don't get it)

 

(Why the hell did they even keep it?)

 

You see this segment. This is the worst and lowest point in Rejuv imo and it still is. It's much, much better than it was, but l will get into it in a minute as I want to show you how the rest of this pans out first.

 

>>>That is a big fat lie as this segment really isn't that bad.

 

(Sorry, but I can't hear you from the sound of my skull cracking)

 

(...I'm going to die from the sheer stupidity going around me)

 

How in the hell would Ren know that or even guess that? There is no single point in the game that even signifies the player is a decent person even. He has affected two people...both which ended up with shittier lives due to their actions (Venam and Aelita). The only point where people are better is the residents of Sheridan who may or may not even know what happened right underneath them.

 

(You are a sad, strange little man)

 

(I'm going to guess it's your father's fault your like that)

 

Wait...if Yancy's my mom and Rorim B is my dad...that makes far too much sense. I understand the true reason I came to Aveium. I could see the two...perform into the night is the best way to put it.

 

(You got any nuts on you? I need to break something. No? I guess the ones between your legs will suffice)

 

(You have been around Keta a wee bit too much)

 

(It's 100% certified headbanging proof)

 

(oh god....not another story)

 

(...are you trying to help me or stop me? I don't know anymore)

 

(Summary of every character in the 2nd segment)

 

(Couldn't I ask someone to just....nah. I hate these guys so melting their fence is the best way to get back at them).

 

And then we travel all the way back to the sewers to see this:

(This definitely was not here before)

 

Okay so I will say that Ren and the fence scene is better, but...it does not remove the fact it's still a heavily forced plot point to stop the player and have them backtrack. It's better than Ren pulling the fence out of his ass as I'll say it again. There's just some context missing and him telling you how to delete the fence is...odd. I'd actually rewrite this segment so that instead of the player going back to the fence, they'd go past Goldenwood lake and travel upwards fighting trainers to get to the city. Heck, I'd even say you meet the leader who will allow you entry into the city on the west side. Maybe even turn that Rift Gyarados into a boss fight you have to win.

 

But as for the Ren conversation, I've played the game far enough that I feel this line is fitting enough to justify what he did:

 

Ren: Commander, I know you're a good guy and that you'd even go as far as even help change my town for the better but...there's just something about you. Venam doesn't understand as she wasn't there when Jenniper was captured, but everything bad seems to happen when you are around. The Goldenwood Lake incident, Melia's death, I have even heard rumors about Sheridan. I just don't want anything bad happening to my people so please just stay away from my town until I set everything right. These people act far too impulsively and a single mishap could lead to a lot of people being hurt. If you don't believe me, why don't you go visit Venam? I'm sure she's suffering from your actions just as much as I am. Sorry, I didn't mean it like that. Maybe I should just go and be out of your way for a little bit.

 

The scene is far from being as bad as it was, but my major complaint is the whole "Venam's the only one who can melt it down so go visit her." Meh, I guess it's my tendency to have characters written in shades of gray than black and white taking over right now. One good challenge I'd put on a writer seeking advice from me in video game storyline is to write a scene where the player feels like the bad guy for a moment despite doing a good deed. This scene with Ren is a good example where something like that could've been implemented. Light-hearted stories stories can have a lot of depth (*cough* My little Pony *cough*).

[Filthy Casual]

1 hour ago, Commander said:

Okay so I will say that Ren and the fence scene is better, but...it does not remove the fact it's still a heavily forced plot point to stop the player and have them backtrack. It's better than Ren pulling the fence out of his ass as I'll say it again. There's just some context missing and him telling you how to delete the fence is...odd. I'd actually rewrite this segment so that instead of the player going back to the fence, they'd go past Goldenwood lake and travel upwards fighting trainers to get to the city. Heck, I'd even say you meet the leader who will allow you entry into the city on the west side. Maybe even turn that Rift Gyarados into a boss fight you have to win.

I definitely agree with you that this is one of the weaker points in Rejuvenation. However, I would argue that there is one weaker plot point, and that's when Ren decides to join Team Xen. Granted, we don't know what Crescent told him, but I have always found it silly that Ren would join the same people he though killed Melia, especially after swearing to get stronger for her sake.

 

Having said that, your run has been extremely fun to read so far! I love how you give alternate ideas if you are not a particular fan of something! It's a better fun for it, and it makes it an interesting read. I'm a bit curious, though: now that you are a bit farther into the game, what are your thoughts on Amanda vs Amaria at this point? I personally feel as if Amanda is a definite improvement, but it's around this point she starts to show signs of Amaria's old personality (mainly being extremely clueless). I mainly say that because I always saw Amanda (at least at the very beginning of the game) as more irresponsible, albeit a bit naive.

[Sceptilespy]

Ren is a stupid and bad character. His motivation for joining Team Xen is stupid. His anger at our so called betrayal is stupid. I'm honestly convinced anything Ren has said or done is just stupid. Except for the bit in the beginning of Amethyst cave. But he was to stupid to use water pulse on the Galvantula. My respect is at a negative and lowering every second for Ren. I can't wait for my many more chances to curb stomp his team and make him feel bad for being stupid. 

[Starborn]

Honestly I think It’s kind of a shame that the story goes this route with Ren because I feel that it really didn’t need to. This 100% my own opinion and feel free to point out any holes in this but here’s how I would have done this:

 

Before you get to the entrance of Goldenleaf you encounter Ren pacing up and down, muttering to himself like he’s trying to psych himself up, then he notices you standing there after a brief conversation he challenges you to a battle to test his strength as trainer and/or ease off the tension he’s feeling. When you win, Ren is frustrated with himself but decides that he can’t overcome his own weakness if he keeps running from his problems and goes ahead to Goldenleaf anyway.

 

Upon reaching the entrance, the fence blocking it is already up with both you and Ren locked out, a member of the town then comes out and basically tells you both to fuck off, Ren tries to convince them to lower the fence and they tell him that he’s not one of them anymore, he said so himself, so now to them he’s the same thing you are, an outsider, trash and then they leave. Now Ren has a reason bring up Venam’s ability to melt the fence and you meet him at the sewers to find her.

 

So everything in the next part of the story is the same except Ren is there and at some point during or after this part, Ren opens up to you and tells about Goldenleaf, how he hated how the people acted and one day he just lost it, calling out the whole town at a big meeting or some other town gathering and as a result he was chased out. He originally planned to never go back, but after Melia ‘died’ Ren felt that the only way he could really get stronger was to find a way to change Goldenleaf.

 

Now when getting to the Goldenleaf plot itself, unless it turns out that Mosely is super important to the plot later on, I’d cut her from the story and replace her with Ren, I don’t know how much Goldenleaf has changed from V8 to V9 but there’s a scene at the start of Goldenleaf that would be pretty impactful if it was Ren in Mosely’s place, if it’s not there anymore then have scene with a group of town members just beating the utter shit out of him. After you fight them off, Ren tells you how he was pretty much overwhelmed by them the moment he stepped into Goldenleaf, he is disheartened because now he’s realised how in over his head he was, two options appear, one is ‘stay silent, the other is ‘offer to help’, this is a relationship variable choice, you’ll gain +1 relationship with Ren if you offer to help but you don’t lose points for staying silent.

 

Regardless what you choose, Ren goes to the Pokémon Centre to heal his team, from there you don’t see him again until the point you’d normally see Mosely again, he takes her role in the story

and everything is the same up until you about to fight the Goldenleaf Gym Leader. Now you can either choose to ‘fight alone’ or ‘fight with Ren’, choosing to fight alone and you’ll battle the Gym Leader in a 1v1 fight, choosing to fight with Ren and it you and Ren vs the Gym Leader in a doubles battled and you gain another +1 to relationship with him. After the Goldenleaf plot wraps up you’ll have one last conversion with Ren, while he’ll admit to being upset that he couldn’t accomplish his goal by himself but he’ll also be genuinely thankful for your help and for what you did for Goldenleaf.

 

The scene with Crescent still happens and Ren still joins Team Xen but now instead of it being the moment that cements Ren status as a poorly written character, it would become a shocking moment that would make the player wonder just what Crescent could have possibly said or done to him, that he’d join the people responsible for Melia ‘death’.

 

So yeah that just about sums up how I would have of written Ren’s character, granted the game isn’t finished yet and everything I’ve wrote might clash with something later on, but thought I’d throw my two cents in to the whole Ren thing.

[Commander]

@Filthy Casual Thanks. Yeah...Ren sadly gets shafted to be a Gary trope after this point which I haven't read up much on but I thought he joined on his own accord. But Crescent I'm not a big fan of either. She's displayed as an all powerful character, but...that's all there is to her trope. It's like taking Mufasa from Lion King, but removing all his moments with his son in the movie. It'd make him so inhuman and we wouldn't feel so bad when he died (which Simba thought it was his fault). I just don't feel anything for her and the game never gives us any of her human moments where she doesn't act like an almighty.

 

@Sceptilespy I have no right to stop you, but I generally frown upon senseless bashing. It doesn't make good discussion points and is very hard to give a proper response. I understand when you don't like a character (*cough Sec *cough) but keep calm when discussing stuff.

 

@Starborn ...Are you like my long lost brother? I haven't seen an in-depth description like that in a long time. I don't think that idea is all that bad except for the team xen moment. The problem with him joining Team Xen is that he has no reason to do so. Zero. He also doesn't have the brains to be manipulative or one I'd feel is a double agent. What I feel would be a good push for Ren joining the team Xen side is Geara himself. Ren has enough in common with Geara since they both lived in Goldenwood an interesting exchange could come across. Ie he sees something in Xen he didn't see before.

 

But as y'all may know:

 

Chapter 17: Is this filler?

 

Seriously, I'm not really sure if this section is relevant or not.

 

(So this is where E16's weather went)

 

(I'm still confused how trees can teleport people)

 

(If only we all listened to Lenny)

 

(My cliche senses are tingling)

 

(If there's literal treasure in there, I'll ask Venam's hand in marriage)

 

(I'm not going to lie, Gearen might actually be the healthiest and safest place to live which is saying something)

 

(NONSENSE! NONSENSE! NONSENSE!)

 

(Venam...isn't that the point of house raiding?)

 

(It's official...Jenipper is the most intelligent man in the region)

 

I mean seriously, this is one of the most balls tripping moment in the game and your focus is on...illegal residency. The original storyline worked just fine here so...I don't really understand the complete revamp of this place as a certain other location in the game needed it more. I'm not going to really count off in a common video game fallacy though as this kind of logic happens in a lot of RPGs.

 

(The Kantians. They've finally taken over)

 

(Because a little girl clearly is in control of the mafia here)

 

(You know after experiencing a life changing event, Venam still acts like an ass)

 

(I haven't heard that name drop in a while)

 

(Lenny, you're the kid in horror movies that's the first to die)

 

(or lack thereof)

 

(And someone just now noticed me...well we are at a creepy mansion so it's 'k)

 

(I'm totally not stalking you)

 

(...How have the authorities not been notified at this point?)

 

(Something tells me I'm going to be the second one to die)

 

(Yeah...let's go home)

 

(Looking at the graphics, I'd say 4 or so months)

 

(Seeing as Venam is there...that's a total lie)

 

(Suddenly, I'm having a case of deja vu)

 

(...I literally just had this conversation)

 

(Okay, hold the heck up)

 

You know what's really funny about this scenario, we just went through a scenario where Ren told us Venam had the power to melt through steel with her Pokemon. Venam also lost a friend due to not being there for her in what was a dangerous and unknown place. We've passed two weeks since that point at the most but likely just a week due to the timeskip. Ren we could see some change happening, but Venam not a damn thing changed for her.

 

(Y'know it's almost as if Melia didn't exist in the first place and was an afterthought)

 

That's...pretty much it. I'm trying to cut back on dialogue here as it is more or less a straight on path from here to the gym leader. No, I'm not kidding you. I'll also just say this that I really like this chapter. It's filler, but outside of story it's an interesting segment. Oh I realized I have a good ending topic about story using paper mario as a reference. But yeah I'm probably going to sound really negative but...it's a strange how this is going to go about. I know the next segment will be a good mix of everything but oh god the following segment...help us all. I HATE that part of the game to the point I almost quit then and there.

 

This was a simple puzzle which had a little code on the side which I screencapped. I found the key leading us to this segment. I'm actually interested if you talk to Venam or unlock it from the front side but alas I did not try that.

 

(I've been doing this since OoT. I'm a pro at these kinds of things)

 

(Venam, I think sneaking in that way would make us look MORE suspicious)

 

(Btw, how is it raining if we're underground?)

 

And suddenly:

 

(Another door? Don't worry, Walter's got this)

 

I really should make an Enforcer team (Blueblanc, Walter, Lucciola, Campanella, Loewe, McBurn), but anyways, it must really suck if you have to go through two gates just to get to your house and use two entierly different keys. Then have to lock them back up before getting to the house to lock that back up.

 

(We're already past the point of no...shouldn't you be the funny one?)

 

(Wait, why is a gym leader allowed to break the law again? I know Giovanni did it, but did so in secret and before it was cool)

 

(IT'S COMMANDER, NOT CAPTAIN)

 

Suddenly we go on an adventure:

 

(They'll never see it coming)

 

(Venam, I'd take you with me, but we'd be dead in a matter of minutes breaking and entering someone's house)

 

(Venam, I think those poison types did something to your brain. We're breaking into someone's house for God's sake)

 

(Spoiler alert: I don't)

 

(I just realized they both start with L. They're totally Ls)

 

Now I actually put that book to good use for once:

 

(Why does this look familiar?)

 

(Yep, that sounds exactly like the place I last was)

 

So I want to talk about two things. First, I can see why this game is compared to Reborn as it should be. I love how people call Reborn Dark and Edgy when this game is probably worse yet people don't claim this game is darker and edgier. Reborn is a dark and darker themed game than a normal Pokemon as it explores more adult like concepts and does not pull wool over the player's eyes to them. It also takes place in an Urban city with the average person being really poor as the bulk of the game which gives off a dark impression. Only thing I've seen in Reborn that I haven't seen in another well recieved RPG is non-binary characters.

 

Now what does this have to do with Rejuv? Let's see: we start off with a ship where everyone is presumed to be killed, a terrorist group that is turning Pokemon into pure machines to attack others (genetics stuff that they even decide to go deeper into the lore it plays such an important role), two offscreen murders (though Melia obviously ain't dead), and racist extremist extraordinaires all before we've even reached the 25% mark. On top of a prophecy which involves people dying to work. That whole light-hearted story died after we hit Amethyst Cave honestly. I guess you could say Rejuv's story is tamer than Reborn's due to characters not being fleshed out (you know, I should use Reborn and Paper Mario to really explain a good story telling element).

 

The other thing is this prophecy. Name one time a prophecy and chosen one concept was done really...damn, I can think of a few such as Tales of Symphonia (damn you Zelos for ruining my rant)...uhh...how about think of a few instances of where this concept was chosen. This method of storytelling usually leads to a cliche and predictable plot usually with the chosen one winning. Think of a FFI type plot frame. I actually took this concept and put my own spin on it, but it wasn't some ancient race foretelling the future...at all. Anyways, plot

 

(Even though rants are probably what people are reading in these anyways)

 

And I didn't screencap anything about sneaking into the place by the window. Oh well nothing special really happened there anyways and to be honest, I could've skipped everything we've seen before and not miss much. The only plus I'll give for the garden though is that it's an easy place to grind Pokemon.

 

(Why do you sound so depressed Venam Brown?)

 

(Luca, I've only been capping you for one chapter and I'm sick of you)

 

>>>I think I meant coping. But I'd like to cap a certain someone

 

(...Does anyone have anything new to say?)

 

I'm not going to say this is a criticism but more of a nitpick, but these characters have said the same exact line just worded differently 3 times now and that's the only character defining trait. Worst part is that this was all just added to try and improve the game. Yes, time was spent developing this characters to be more than cardboard cutouts (actually Venam's friends being cardboard cutouts would've been amazing)

 

(...Sadly, this is still better than explanation hell)

 

(I'm sure he would've paid it if it weren't too damn high!)

 

(...Because every successful business man is truly a terrorist in disguise)

 

(Remember when this game was actually funny...Commander Remembers)

 

(Someone please make an edit in the game to make Lenny's name be replaced with the face)

 

(Just a bunch of Team Xen grunts. Not me though)

 

(Is that...Peter Griffith with long hair on a diet? That...actually would explain so much)

 

(If I pay you the 20 rupees, can I leave?)

 

(Now we're just stealing from Beauty and the Beast here...no, this ain't even close to being like that)

 

>>>Tale as old as time...Indy and the Beast

 

(I can only imagine what's going through this guy's head)

 

(I'd say that I came here to grab Venam to melt a fence that can easily be climbed, but he'd give me a look)

 

(...This is basically a group of punks pretending to be the mafia...wow, I just can't...)

 

When I first played this section I didn't take much out of this but these guys are acting like dumbass middle schoolers. I remember working at Kroger with kids acting this bad once. One of them got literally thrown out of the store by the manage after they vandalized the place. I guess I'm partially bothered by this scenario due to Venam who is acting like she's being a righteous knight doing something she knows is wrong. The original storyline here was "I'll explore this place with [Player] since it kind of look abandoned."

 

>>>Someone is in a bad mood

 

(Funny how you can say that so calmly to a man with a magical house who looks strong enough to pummel us to our deathbeds)

 

(...Did anyone...just look outside then think about what you just asked because it totally rains in sewers)

 

(Thank you mysterious stranger. Your fabulous locks will be remembered for your great service here)

 

(Dude, what happened to the back of your hair)

 

You know, there was a wasted dialogue opportunity here. Instead of repeating the dialogue for the third time, they could've talked about how this guy looks a bit trashy and not suited the master of a mansion this fine.

 

(Because ordinary mercy is not fitting for a fine gentleman like this)

 

(Venam, you'd think you'd understand that you're the insect in this situation)

 

(Cliche evil villain line is cliche)

 

(Something tells me it's going to be an overly long and forgettable name)

 

(Can I call you Indy instead?)

 

Yeah, I'm probably going to refer to him as Indy since it sounds cooler than Theo. I actually think Indy is an alright character in this story but Venam is just so...weak when her original attitude stood out in my mind before. They pretty much took her hostage and carried her to the gym battle where you were forced to fight Marianette.

 

(...I actually forgot that name already...you should've went with Indy)

 

(Such as your poor choice in clothing. Perhaps if you wore a black coat you'd be considered stylish)

 

(I can't help but picture Indriad with a stoners voice, man...actually make it a hippy voice)

 

(If I slowly back away and bust the door open, do you think he'd care?)

 

(NO DON'T...too late)

 

(Excuse me, but where is the bathroom? I need to go there immediately for...reasons)

 

(...the ancients were...really weird. Why not in a book like a normal civilization?)

 

(Already know this)

 

(This is like that one time in OoT all over again)

 

(Pretty sure the prophecy of darkness already came true)

 

(If he was a hippy, he'd say "Don't interrupt me, man. I'm getting to the best part. It'll knock your socks off.")

 

(Suddenly, I'm getting flashbacks of a series story I dislike)

 

I'm going to take a minute and talk about the Kingdom hearts series and am about to trigger a hella lotta people. I actually think the original Kingdom Hearts is a video game masterpiece and Kingdom Hearts 2 is still really good and a good sendoff to Ansem and a good point to move on in the series. Sure there were some unexplained things, but almost everything was wrapped up and could move on to a new villain. Birth By Sleep was fine as well since it was an origin story that tied up what Ansem was. Then DDD happened. I do not like DDD's story at all with the 13 darknesses and 5 lights or whatever that shit was. Instead of just killing off Ansem, they decided to hype it up that he has 13 bodies now and is actually everyone because he's all so important (kind of like how Sora is really everyone as well...getting off topic) to the point many fans are confused what the heck is the kingdom hearts plotline. It's not that this is complicated, but most people can't wrap there heads around a concept like this because...an average person wouldn't even think this was a good storyline idea. But to shorten it to a single sentence, there's a prophecy this series was leading up to for KH III that took over a decade to make.

 

Rejuv is...actually doing something similar given it will take a long time to finish developing. I don't like how they're supposed to be 8 chosen people to determine the fate of the world or something...as it merely...what was I saying? Crap...c'mon Commander think. Oh. Basically it often leads to those 8 characters being the only ones focused on in designing the plot and many other characters are pushed to the background slowly becoming more and more irrelevant and stiff. It also sets up for a...generic plot.

 

(._. DON'T YOU DARE STEAL MY THUNDER!)

 

(It would be nice to know the criteria)

 

(Except this is an RPG so everything's fixed)

 

Btw, Mother 3 actually makes fun of the prophecy thing but even with it being a huge focus, it really isn't even center of the story until like the halfway...or was it the 70% mark?

 

(Crazy physics defying hair, an over the top personality, and has more than 3 scenes of dialogue)

 

(Just like this entire segment)

 

(Wait, that's not all! Just...end me now)

 

(...You were stalling...great...)

 

(That is actually a lie, but I'm not telling him that)

 

(Why the heck does he keep turning away? I mean my beauty has brought tears to many, but it's kind of creeping me out now)

 

(Because one little girl saying something totally represents what the majority thought)

 

(...I need to do a cliche line count)

 

Suddenly, I remembered the whole TFS DBZ Abridged moment where Freiza counts the number of times someone says a certain line. I think they're still making those...even though I'm way behind.

 

(Cause Venam likes it...wait is she a minor?)

 

(What he really should be saying is "You think I'm as stupid as the man, man?")

 

(...this man is a true gambler at heart. Would you care to be my other gambling partner?)

 

(Hello there, beautiful! Take me to the bedding quarters and I'll make all your fantasies a reality)

 

(Shit...when I said fantasies, I mean role playing, sir.)

 

(No, what I meant was...)

 

(Phew...stalling saves the day once again. Let's go, honey)

 

(I finally catch a break here)

 

...

 

3 hours later

 

(...Damn, I can't even remember what happened. Thanks random conscience for telling me what I must do, but for now, I sleep)

 

I'm going to stop there as these are long dialogue segments with not much going on in them. So I mentioned Paper Mario and Reborn earlier. Paper Mario is what I'd say a fantastic RPG but it isn't because it has a super amazing story or plot. It's not trying to be a super solid plot but more about having a good time, but the first two games were so innovated many of the story elements can be overlooked. Innovation is an important part of a game believe it or not. It's something I feel Rejuv really lacks. Paper Mario was a game using a paper concept to tell a story, but it did unbelievable things for a mario game like introduce new kinds of toads like the desert ones, new kinds of enemies, and a few one of a kind bosses (who here remembers the Koopa Bros and the original Mecha Bowser). Even with nostalgia effecting my memories of the game, there was so many little things that I missed when replaying it I was amazed and fell in love with the game again. Same with TTYD which took the paper concept and used it in unique ways, but didn't overshadow what made Paper Mario Paper mario (and the stage style battle was so innovated and kept me focused)...I'm playing some paper mario after this.

 

Why is this important? So back in the day, if you wanted your Pokemon fix, you had to play a hack with the best of the best being Pokemon Sacred Gold which was a gen iii remake of the Johto games. There were some games that did their own story and stuff, but you had a limited selection of Pokemon and Gen III mechanics despite Gen IV existing. Then a fan-game called Pokemon Raptor came out. It was a game that pretty much said: "Hey, I'm a grand adventure where you can catch ALL of the Pokemon which Gen IV mechanics you know and love." It wasn't spectacular, but it did awesome things including an insanely difficult Arceus battle. It was just amazing at the time because it was unheard of.

 

Now we jump to Reborn which took the ideas of Raptor except it had its own image. What always stood out to me was that Reborn was a Pokemon game that actually focused on being hard and pushed you to improve yourself and your skills. Leaders all used 6 mons which was only done in a couple hard hacks, but even they did not go to Reborn levels with a Cradily for the second gym leader. This plus the setting is what made me love Reborn. The whole adventure in one big city brought back vibes of Colosseum's Pyrite Town and I'll admit I thought the concept was really creative and despite Reborn City feeling overwhelming huge at first, I got used to its size. And now that I look back at it, it's story is based around a community, yes the real community as well, but what I'm referring to is how all the characters know each other. So many characters have relations with one another which so few games I've played recently do that so it's something I appreciate.

 

Reborn does not stop there. Every episode I see a puzzle where I go "how in the hell did Ame make this?" as many are one of a kind to Pokemon. There was also the added layer in the battle system taking environments (a concept only a handful of RPGs even use) and implement it in to change up how battles play out. New gens of Pokemon were IMPLEMENTED and helped diversify teams even more. Ame even pushed for animations, something fan games lacked, to help with battles looking more appealing. I know I'm harping on Reborn's feats, but I acknowledge it still has many faults. I just wanted to list this stuff to give an idea.

 

(I rewrote this section below as I wasn't satisfied with it and lost the original meaning):

 

So this kind of leads to the whole Reborn vs Rejuv situation. The best way I can compare the two is that Rejuv is a hallow shell of Reborn that uses many of it's ideas and graphics to create a game. I actually probably am holding it to a higher standard than normally for fan-games as when I played Insurgence I was quickly reminded of that. Rejuv is a good game, but it takes good ideas and roll with them. The dialogue is cliche, but it works. It's kind of one of those situations where come 2 or 3 years after the game is done and over, what will people remember.

 

I actually want to take a trip back to episode 1. Remember when I talked about all the expressions and the little humor moments and that Rejuv is at its best when it's not taking itself seriously. It's got all this little gimmicks that give it style and the little emoticons show more than a simple dialogue box. Can Rejuv have a serious and even dark plot with the wacky style introduced in E1. Absolutely. Legend of Heroes Skies, Fire Emblem Awakening, Xenoblade Chronicles, Chrono Trigger, Final Fantasy V (and VI and a lot of the older ones), The Last Story, Xenogears, Paper Mario,  Mother 3/Earthbound, and I could go on.

 

Actually, here's an idea for a fan game design just based solely on that simple emoticon idea. Invest a lot of time developing a system where the player can respond by pressing certain keys to express emotion or maybe the options will pop up on screen. Doesn't matter how. Make is like happy, sad, and mad icons. Now the player can make these faces to respond to scenarios and characters will have different dialogue depending on what you choose but not huge impacts. Now let's say the player uses the angry face in a bar. This triggers a nearby drunk to challenge you to a fight. But if you use a sad face, he buys you some moomoo milk to make you feel better. Yeah it'd take like 3 months of work, but that's kind of an example of innovation I'm looking for in a fan-game not some super cool new pokemon or fake moves. Just something simple and fresh to add to the Pokemon experience.

 

Also sorry about the lackluster screencaps but it's really hard when dialogue grinds down to stuff like this:

 

"Haha! You think you can escape, but you cannot as I'm so evil and foresaw you attempt to escape. Therefore with my superior intellect, I have ordered my maids without saying a word and standing in the middle of this room to lock everything, even though they are not allowed to leave the house creating many contradictions. Take that good-doers!"

(...Did I just make Indy more interesting when I was supposed to make generic dialogue? Dammit, I'm bad at this)

 

Let me try that again:

 

"You cannot escape. I ordered my maids to lock you in the building. Now prepared to be sacrificed."

(I had to resist the urge to change maids into Loli Army...dammit)

 

Me give up.

[Starborn]

17 hours ago, Commander said:

...Are you like my long lost brother? I haven't seen an in-depth description like that in a long time. I don't think that idea is all that bad except for the team xen moment. The problem with him joining Team Xen is that he has no reason to do so. Zero. He also doesn't have the brains to be manipulative or one I'd feel is a double agent. What I feel would be a good push for Ren joining the team Xen side is Geara himself. Ren has enough in common with Geara since they both lived in Goldenwood an interesting exchange could come across. Ie he sees something in Xen he didn't see before.

 

Yeah I see you point, I was mostly focusing on fleshing out his character to make him likeable and sympathetic so when the Team Xen moment came around it would be more of a gut punch because you’d care about Ren instead of being completely done with him as many players seem to be after the whole Goldenleaf section, but changing that section in the way I did takes away what little reason, as petty and stupid as it is, for Ren to join them. Thinking more on it I would probably take Ren’s betrayal out of the story entirely or rewrite Team Xen to be more morally ambiguous, however the idea of Geara’s being a sort of foil to Ren is an incredibly intriguing one especially if it went both ways with Ren seeing himself in Geara as well.

 

All that aside I really enjoy hearing your thoughts on Rejuvenations story, it’s what really got me thinking about putting my thoughts about Ren and his role in the story down in the first place, your alternate take on Madelis was fantastic and I can’t wait to hear you opinions on future characters.

[Commander]

@Starborn I'm really surprised how people reacted to my take on Madelis but yeah, I think I'll do more on my thoughts on characters and do a few more "what if I was in charge of Rejuv" situations. It'll help spice things up while going through these long story segments as truth be told. As for Ren, I think it's best served to go into detail more in the next episode that despite all of this, I still think he's a decent character. There's two characters here that are much more suited for this segment...no Marianette is not one of them.

 

So also as a heads up that when Reborn E17 hits the 80% I'm going to temporarily be halting this playthrough to get into production of Hardcore because there's a lot of stuff left to do.

 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Chapter 18: Loli and the Mander

 

So I just remember one random comment I keep seeing. People finish Rejuv and/or Reborn and have nothing else to play. Then people suggest similar Pokemon fan-games, but often I see that people say they aren't as good or something. Pokemon is what I'd call a gateway RPG so instead of looking for Pokemon games, try adventuring and maybe even supporting other types of RPGs. My first RPG was Pokemon Blue, but what game made me love RPGs was FFV which cemented my love for turn based games. In fact, Pokemon as a series is something I really don't like talking about even if I talk about Reborn and Hardcore a lot and doing this run. You want me to get into a deep discussion, talk about a different RPG or maybe a gem.

 

Guess what I'm trying to say is if your one of those Pokemon fans who only play Pokemon, try something new. I get some people have money trouble, but given I can work and save enough for a game or two every few months easily (I still prefer buying used due to budgeting), then I really don't see the excuse you can only play Pokemon. But if you really don't know what to try: Mario and Luigi Superstar Saga, Chrono Trigger, Fire Emblem (7)/Sacred Stones, Golden Sun. These are 4 easy to get into RPGs that are very short (20 hours). You'll probably favor towards one of these in which it'd be easy to recommend more RPGs for your tastes and maybe get into a series. So if y'all are bored and haven't played one of these, go out and play it (I know they are also all on the Wii U eshop for 10 bucks or less to boot). Now back to your regularly scheduled program:

 

(Well I had a strange dream where I was a purple haired female traveling in a region full of these cult guys. I was also naked.)

 

(Well, I suppose that's better than calling me insane)

 

(..........Why was....you know what, I'm not going to ask)

 

I'm kind of wondering why the hell there was a trial to even free the player. It would be one thing to test Maria's loyalty and ambitions, but it's not. He literally trapped everyone with their method of escaping being to solve a puzzle. This is a point that really doesn't get covered really despite being kind of important. Maybe I'll look at the rest of the scene before trying to explain it...ish.

 

(Because sneaking past an army of loli maids without being seen is super easy)

 

(Because sleeping in a house full of creepy maids is always a good idea)

 

(...the graphic artist of that block was very lazy. I could draw a better white block and I'm terrible at spriting)

 

(Considering the opening...wait)

 

I really don't understand the opening honestly. It doesn't add anything to the story from what I've seen and just gives me more of a headache comprehending this segment. It brings back memories of the whole El and the tower scene which I'd argue is the worst point of Reborn which slightly improved but more or less is the same issue. I don't think El is by any means a bad character but that long scene followed by a difficult fight to win really adds up. Anyways, that opening is basically the famed awakening writing (I even pounded Cold Steel which is one of my favorite games) for doing it.

 

(Please tell me that is...no...no...WE ARE NOT GOING THERE)

 

(I DON'T WANT TO GO TO...hey is that a family portrait?)

 

(Agreed. You should never be in a little girl's room.)

 

(Honestly, I'd consider Venam a person I tolerate. The rest can rot in here and die for all I care)

 

(I also thought that picture was sideways when I screencapped...this game must be haunted)

 

(Obligatory make fun of how both sentences start with the same word)

 

(...I guess that's better than saying exposed)

 

I'm seriously running out of things to say because of how the dialogue works. Uhhh...I'll probably get into 3 basic forms of dialogue and which one Rejuv is riding on. But for now I just noticed something weird looking at the leaders compared to Reborn:

 

Hyperactive Bomb: Punk with an exploding personality

Instructor: Sensei

I also count Keta to Corey since you do fight him twice with one giving a bad and one not giving a badge and the coincidences are too damn high:

Both have a daughter

Both die before giving a badge

Both wear purple

Both have crazy hair

Both don't smile

Both use illegal pokemon that can't evolve that early

Also for the 4th gym

Timid Girl: Girl afraid of her father

 

Though I haven't figured out the connection between Shade and Narcissa unless you think Shade is into Theater. Well Shade does like music.

 

(Why is an adult male taking advice from a little girl?)

 

(I love how this entire conversation could have been cut if this was mentioned 12 images ago)

 

(Something tells me after my performance with the maid that this is a terrible idea)

 

(Yes let's go get...I forgot their names)

 

(Am I really being degraded to a little girl's slave right now?)

 

(You just solved a...complicated puzz...I'm not going to...)

 

(I thought it was little girl)

 

(...Did you really forget your name?)

 

(So that makes you an...Indian...I'M RUNNING OUT OF THINGS TO SAY, OKAY?)

 

(So can every Pokemon protagonist)

 

(Wait...hold up I noticed something)

 

Indy was a blond haired man, but the man in the picture is brown haired. Actually, he could be the blonde haired lady, but...that's not a discussion to have in front of a little girl. I'm...just gonna stop...this chapter is on the highway of getting really bad.

 

(Considering where my mouth has been going, that's for the best)

 

At least Marianette is a responsible...

 

(I swear the only person to go through more mood swings than you is Zetta)

 

So yeah, that happened. The dialogue is just so damn dull here. This is a huge issue with creating a game around a silent protagonist without any companions to support them. Not to mention a lack of a backstory or anything they can use to relate to any other characters. Now let's get to Marianette who is a dull character. There's actually a lot that I can tell you about her character and what should be her personality. But first, would you rather read through dialogue with a character with this personality or a character who acts something like this:

 

Spoiler

 

 

...I probably needed that more than you going through this again. I just wanted to show that because the character there has a very high IQ (in that anime at least) yet could break out and do something like that. There's another character who I will only mention the name in a minute that takes everything Marianette has and turns it into who I would call one of the best characters in the trails series. But there are many smart or highly intelligent characters in all kinds of genres. Marianette displays this in solving the player's complicated puzzle as well as reading high level books if you examine her bookshelf (or maybe that was in the intro).

 

The bigger more important thing we know about her character is that she lives in a house with her dad and maids. The thing about the maids is that they are all more or less brainless zombies with all what we can consider is an abusive father. Now what should be noted is that she is being treated similarly to a caged animal (and even behaves like on who would escape if given the chance), but this is not reflected upon in her dialogue. This kind of environment is what I'd call a slight degree of insanity. Yes, in an environment where you basically are all along (even with people living around you) will lead to someone becoming insane to a various degree. It would lead to your mind slowly "degrading" until you act more and think less. Often to counter this and retain you sanity, you do something which varies from person to person. I have a lone wolf type personality (I don't mind being around people though) so one thing I often do is get lost in thoughts. I often ask questions which about...lots of things.

 

This is like the Melia segment, fuck this is the Melia segment all over again. Let's see...she was about 6 when the first even occurred or something which would be roughly 4 years of dealing with this scenario. Yeah, yeah, I could be wrong but I'd need at least a year for explaining this and there's a hell of a lot of stuff that should and could have been explained. Then again I think this weird scenario is that Indy turned his wife into a sacrifice which Madame X tries to stop, but fails. The Indy does sacrifice his wife who might actually be Angie for all I know and living. Then this stuff keeps happening until Indy decides to sacrifice Marianette which caused some weird ass space time anomaly in which Marianette forgot everything but Indy didn't. I think that's right, but bleh.

 

Btw, the character that is what Marianette could've been or shares similar veins is Renne from the LoH: Skies (and Crossbell games) series. She appears in the 2nd where her story is lightly brushed, but you really need to play 3rd to get her full backstory which really explains why she acts the way she does. 'Cause she is one messed up little girl. She even has something the equivalent of Snuggles to boot.

 

Let's continue on...

 

(or not)

 

(Literally the excuse used in every RPG ever. Only worked in one I know of).

 

(Don't worry Marianette, I got this taken care of)

 

(*Ahem* "I seem to lost my key around here somewhere. Would you help me find it?")

 

(...Well, I tried. Guess we're doing it your way then.)

 

(If it's breaking that vase over your head I'll gladly accept)

 

(.....She's aware they all share the same base sprite. She knows too much)

 

(....Why do I sense this is going to involve me wearing a dress?)

 

(Are maids even allowed to give a tone like that in front of their master?)

 

(Given what I know about this man, it probably means kill her)

 

(I still think I should knock her out with one of those pots)

 

(...Why do I have a feeling this is the mini-game segment?)

 

(As any gambler would say, "It's no fun without any risk.")

 

(And that's any gamer's dream)

 

I'm going to tell you an interesting idea I had, but let's get these trials done before that.

 

(I'd hope so. They work together)

 

(Something tells me it won't be that easy)

 

(btw, I am literally skipping 1-3 pics inbetween to cut down in length. I kid you not)

 

(Oh boy, another minigame)

 

(...My trade quest senses are tingling)

 

(Wait...aren't maids forbidden to leave the quarters?)

 

(...It's almost like I'm not even here)

 

(...Oh god. She's in love with...that)

 

(Something tells me she's gotten a lot closer to Indy than most people)

 

(Sigh...you'd think she'd be able to find it herself if it's that important)

 

(I swear she dropped this out the window for us to find)

 

I'm not going to ask why it was behind a bush

 

(And it's a shiny. And yes, I killed it)

 

On a random note, I'm not a big fan of the increased shiny. It's just not the same when one could pop up at any time and I often run into at least 2-3 in a single run. In the official games, I've only ever run into 2 shinies in the wild ever. One was a geodude on my friends Silver version and then in 2012 I saw a wild shiny Pidgey which I used the whole run. I've had 3 instances of Pokerus though. It's a big deal compared to Reborn where it's like whatevs for me. And I'm actually upset I had a shiny lotad for a little small project I'm doing in Reborn. Just something people can use for a reference is all. Nothing super big or anything.

 

(This part was fun playing, but not fun reading)

 

(...Compared to the Last Story Trials, these are cakewalk)

 

Seriously, if you have a Wii and have not played the Last Story, go out and find a copy as it's cheap and a quick thrill. Easily in my top 10 favorite Wii games....WTF! The Last Story is now pricey and Xenoblade is cheap as hell. I bought the Last Story for like 19.99 New and now it's like 70 bucks. Also, Xenoblade is 39.99 on Amazon for Wii. If you have a Wii/Wii U and like RPGs it's worth it for that price. Wow, I'm off topic. Hold on...Path of Radiance is now 229 bucks. Please Nintendo port the game.

 

(Because promises are absolute in this world)

 

(Never gets old seeing my name in a sentence)

 

(If you're asking me to lose my virginity, I lost that like a long time ago)

 

(I suddenly regret making this the innuendo episode)

 

(Please tell me you're not asking me to bang you in front of a little girl. She's already been traumatized enough)

 

(.......Why must everything be resolved by having a Pokemon battle?)

 

(Why must every interesting caption for these be a dick joke?)

 

(I misread that as potassium and thought of bananas...make it stop)

 

(And people die if they are killed)

 

(And we'll never see you again)

 

(Hopefully Indy won't burn us...that was supposed to be a joke)

 

(Darn...I was hoping this could be Pokemon Rejuv: the musical segment)

 

(*cough* these are not the maids you are looking for)

 

(...And surprisingly there was no Pokemon battle from what I remember)

 

Yes, a random maid npc is the most interesting character you will see in this entire segment. Suddenly I was reminded of Paper Mario's Boo mansion in chapter 3. That segment was fun because of all the crazy stuff you had to do to get to the top and just...there were no enemies. In fact, I don't think you even fight a Boo in that entire game. Anyways, I think one cool little thing that'd spice the game up is in order to get past the maid upstairs you wouldn't have a trial, but have to wear a maid outfit to get by. And yes, that applies for the male character as well which I'd probably have a line like this:

 

"I shall not judge master indriad's choices nor any of his servant's clothing so long as he approves."

 

Or hell, I probably would have had this servant help these two out by either convincing the one guarding the gate her shift is up or that she's escorting them to the master. I still think having the protag wearing the maid uniform was a missed opportunity after seeing this place redone twice.

 

(Look at the pretty door)

 

(Oh boy I finally get to talk about this)

 

So Rejuv has a habit of doing what Reborn does to the point it is almost comical. From what I've read, there's this whole relationship point system in this game as well. I've never liked this system though I think a game that does it well is FFVII. Pretty much the choices you make lead up to a certain character you go with a date on for a single scene which is about the halfway...a little less than the halfway point in the game. Cold Steel also does this system well as you get to choose multiple characters (I've gotten 5 to the required level in a single run) with no punishment not using them or doing a certain event. But Cold Steel's plot is based on all the characters bonding with each other and not just based on Rean's bonds with them.

 

Anyways, I don't get why it's in Reborn and I really don't get why it's in Rejuv. There's no character that really sticks out to me that I'd like to know better and most are pretty much an open book regardless (unlike Reborn characters as some have layers of character). I just...don't get it. It also I think is supposed to do the alternate ending thing. I'm not against an extended or expanded ending like Reborn is doing, but I am slightly against it being something you can miss by making a wrong choice in the game. These are not short games that people want to replay and most people are only ever going to play Reborn or Rejuv once. Wow...getting off topic...let's finish this segment off before I rant again:

 

(oh boy, backstory time...where's the bench?)

 

(I'm the protagonist. I'm sure I'll live through this)

 

(oh good, it's not backstory time)

 

(...You probably shouldn't have told me that)

 

(I mean the dude's an ass so I understand)

 

(That....is kind of pathetic actually)

 

I'm sorry but I know Jan's trying to make him look like a bad person, but a bruise on the arm. When I was a bad boy when I was eight, I got my butt smacked with a wooden meter stick and my granddad got whipped with a leather belt. It wasn't just the guys either. Without any context at all, I'd have to side with Indy on that decision as wrong as it may sound. Parents usually have a role of keeping their children aligned and safe. Now if it were something like gave her a black eyes or threw a beer bottle at her, that's a little different.

 

(Just a reminder that when the beer bottles start flying, I'mma start a runnin')

 

(Little girl...I accidentally let a little girl who looks exactly like you die. That's how sure I am that I can protect you)

 

(What is it with my character and little girls...do not take that out of context)

 

(THIS ISN'T WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!)

 

(Dammit, she's blocking my only means of escape)

 

(When did this become a prison...actually I think it's a dungeon disguised as a house)

 

(Do you even know what you're wearing ya hypocrite?)

 

(...That's a really bad place to cut off this sentence at...but I am wondering what happened to all my cash)

 

(...You couldn't possibly be more bored with me approaching you. There is literally nothing for you to do up here. Nothing)

 

(You'd think he'd just let me go for being this persistent)

 

(I...kind of was their adult supervisor when thinking about it)

 

(Something tells me that's going to be a no)

 

(...Cliche Villain line is Cliche...didn't I use that caption before?)

 

(That's a new one though)

 

(I know it says girl, but I picture it say bitch here)

 

(You really like the word stubborn you hypocrite)

 

(Do you mind if I use that couch...nevermind, that's not a good idea)

 

(Wait...why are the walls red? Isn't that what Xen uses in their base as well? Guess we know who they got their wallpaper from)

 

(Yeah, it's called Russian Roullet. I'll put five bullets in and you can be the first to go)

 

(....So basically do what we would've done anyways except not be attacked by maids)

 

You know, I could see Indy having a russian accent. Anyways he comments sayings "Us?" or soemthing.

 

(Why am I staring at the little girl?)

 

(Why am I not staring at the little girl?)

 

(I go back inside my box?)

 

(...Something tells me that is a terrible idea)

 

(She learned it from Frisk)

 

(Hold on...)

 

(Redundant use of us is redundant)

 

(Oh yeah...that weird ass thing in the beginning)

 

Not a big fan of the whole sacrifice and ritual thing. That's all I have to say on it. No rant or anything.

 

(I wonder which of use has longest hair here?)

 

(he hesitated. Why did he hesitate?)

 

(...So you did want these puzzles solved)

 

(Absolute bullshit right there)

 

(Okay...that's not a very good hint)

 

(Now let's get going so I can do something actually Pokemon related)

 

Skipping some pics to jump to this:

 

(He's talking to a closet. Please tell me someone isn't coming out of one)

 

(That looks like something if Organization XIII crossed over with Tron...wait they already kind of did that)

 

(That's a name I'll probably forget right away)

 

(And another villain cliche line)

 

Ugh...we're literally only at the halfway point. And I know this segment has something to do with Melia, but I don't really care all that much at this point. Let's finish with Marianette. I think her character could've been a bit more interesting if they developed her having a bond with the player given it's the first person who's been nice to her. At first it's cute but over the time collecting your friends it becomes a little creepy as she doesn't want to part with you...at all. That would help tie it back to Indy who challenge the player to see if they really want her around and toy with that fact a little bit causing her to waver a little.

 

Indy though ho boy Indy. He's just what I'd call a cartoon villain. He's just so over the top evil it's just unrealistic. I'm going to compare him to El for a minute. El at a glance looks very inhumane but when you take it from his point of view, his actions out all outlandish and out there. He's very religious due to the effects of the Meteor on him, but he also helps Meteor due to Solaris. His methods of handling Luna might feel extreme, but Luna is a very deranged girl who El believe Radomus did something to her. He does put loyalty over family by taking the Emerald and fleeing over pursuing his daughter like how Bennett did.

 

Remember when I said treat villains as if they were the heroes? This is a good time to explain that. Indy could be an interesting character and I'd say he's the most interesting one we've had in a while. Instead the game makes him like this soulless cruel guy who does nothing but torture and hurt people...or something like that. I mean one thought that came to mind was to make him blind as "blind men are the ones who see the most" (if that's not a saying that bloody should be one). Basically, it means that when you lose something you have, you become more aware of stuff like where exactly a light switch is or the texture of the carpet. It's a small touch that can add a lot of depth to the dialogue.

 

What needs to be done to Indy is to make him less evil. He likes playing games and games are usually used to measure intelligence. We also know that this island where the player starts on does not have a lot of wealth which is half the reason why...Not Lenny wanted to bust in the first place. I'd say making him a gambler would be great irony and add to his character as he swindled money from people in games. It'd also give you a sense that you can't trust him to be fair despite keeping to his word. A religious gambler...or gambling bishop in the sense. Dishonorable people have served the church before and it could make for some kind of cool lines.

 

"Welcome! Forgive my maids for mistreating such young guests as trespassers. With so many thieves aiming for my loot it is hard to tell the difference anymore. Though I am rather shocked you made it through the front door without a single soul seeing you. Tell me, how did you accomplish this?"

 

"Ah, it is money that you seek. I am not one to hand out money so freely, but it would be a sad tale to leave such fine guests empty handed. How about we play a little game? If you win, you'll receive enough for you and your friends to get out of this 'city' that you loathe as well as compensate for this rent that I owe."

 

"If you lose...hmmm...how about the purple one becomes a servant of mine? Taming such a rebellious girl would be a long needed challenge for me. Drinks, anyone? Oh dear, I shouldn't offer the devil's liquor to such innocent children."

 

Now if you're picture Indy doing actions or movement while speaking, then I've done my job. I said there were a few types of dialogue but it mostly grinds down to dialogue to drive the plot forward, dialogue to flesh out character and have their personalities shine, and dialogue to serve as filler. Rejuv basically runs on driving the plot forward with occasional filler. Filler dialogue is usually humorous but it's something you want to use maybe like twice in a 10 hour segment. A well done plot mixes them all together often, but it's the second category that imo is the key to making a good plot. The plot can be simple or even atrocious that can be saved with interesting characters and interesting incentives. And prepare the triggers but FFVII despite me thinking that game has the second worst plot for an FF game I'll admit the characters are all interesting and I kind of liked most of them not named Sephiroth or Cloud. But in defense of FFVII, I can see why it was a really good game at the time but has aged horribly.

 

Oh god...I remembered the next chapter is boring as hell to log...help me. At least I have a few surprises.

[Evan20000]

I guess the biggest issue I have with this section is that you don't really have any reason to care aside from potentially Venam (if you're invested in her at all....). You're working for the sake of several characters' lives, but you literally meet them 15 minutes ago. There's no sense of investment in them yet. I think the issue with it being perceived as boring is that it's A. completely outside the context of the rest of the story we have so far, meaning none of the events here have any immediate payoff aside from the gate to Goldenleaf opening and B. little investment in Marianette due to her characterization being somewhat flat, as you pointed out. It also kills any momentum that was previously built up going to Goldenleaf. Personally, I would have moved this arc until after Goldenleaf (You could say the north gate is malfunctioning and you need Venam to melt it, instead of the east gate) to let the previous plot momentum run its course. Indriad's portrayal here and later on in the game seems like night and day. Later on in the game, well... I'll explain my issues with that compared to this when Commander gets there.

[DemICE]

You should have considered in making your own game at some point, seeing as you have both developing knowledge and solid foundations for storytelling and character development. Doesn't really have to be 'mons.

 

Also i just think its interesting to note out that  Anathea's name is  close to the greek word  "anathema"  which is literally, damnation.   Also it can be connected to atheos (M) / athei (F)  which is  an atheist.  

As a bonus irrelevant note, i always found it funny how Athos, the monastic mountain considered the heart of the Orthodox Church, is a letter short from "atheos".

Edited August 28, 2017 by DemICE

[Norm]

Ooh! A thread for lampooning poor writing!? count me in!

 

Pokemon Rejuvenation's plot, much like the fangame it's inspired by, is a complete and utter mess. Most of the problems that I believe Reborn has are applicable to this game as well (Character bloat, meandering to nonsensical pacing, the characters themselves, the tone of the stories, presentation, and the list goes on). One big reason is because Pokemon really doesn't have a formula where some kind of massive story can take place. Pokemon is really an Adventure RPG first and foremost where your goal is to train up some cool critters and beat the big man. Reborn and Rejuvenation try to inject a "save the world" plot that doesn't really work out with the whole adventure feel that the source material because it kind of psychologically railroads the player into going on with the plot. Things like the Silent Player Character, for example are conventions that work in a regular Pokemon game, but don't work when trying to make a story with more stakes and more independent characters.

 

Gameplay wise silent PCs are used as a device to immerse the player in the world presented. Narrative wise, they're basically a rock. No matter how much you love your pet rock and no matter how much you confide into it, it is still a rock. It can't agree disagree, act, or do anything. It is just a rock. In a main series Pokemon game where the goal is simple, it's pretty easy for the PC to just be a movable set piece that allows us to experience the world without dissenting opinion. In a game like Rejuvenation, where the plot demands that characters emote and react to what is going on, our ol' pal Rocky can't really do much to affect anything. In regular Pokemon, you can pretend you're doing something because the goal is simple, but when the goal is something on a more dire level where choices made and events matter, you really start to see how out of place that rock is. 

 

Rejuvenation's characters are probably the worst part about the game. I don't think there is a single character that I like in this game. (compared to the 2 I like in Reborn). Melia's probably the biggest Mary Sue I've ever seen, Ren is just kinda a whiny RPG protag dick, I don't even know what to say about Venam. None of the main characters really grow or change, and this isn't even one of those Pokemon convention things holding it back. Blue, Silver, Cheren, and Bianca to list a few all develop through the course of the games the appear in. But these characters just stay static despite having ample amounts of screentime. It doesn't help that there are about a billion characters in this game, some of whom don't add anything to what is going on. The rest of the characters range from bland to brain-wrackingly annoying. I hate these guys, but my alter-ego Rocky doesn't seem to mind them, which creates a disconnect between how the player feels about the situation. If the player isn't invested in what is happening, but is forced to go with it anyways, you're in for a bad time. 

 

I'd say more, but I probably should be being productive somewhere else. So I shall rocket off in search for... something I guess.

[TY97mus]

For the Trail series reference alone, I am gonna follow your post. I think that your opinion and recommendations are solid and well-constructed. But for what it's worth, some of the side quests in rejuvenation are interesting (even more than the main story, I almost cry during the litwick event for no apparent reason).

Irrelevant rant: I just finished CS I. If CS III is still not going to reveal who the Grand Master is....... I'm still going to play until they do. They know that their storytelling is compelling enough and make each series's first game ends with a cliffhanger so that people will keep buying their games. 7 games later and we still don't know who is the mysterious final endgame boss or what he/she/it actually wants yet somehow I'm still attached to it. (Oh, may the wind give me strength to continue this journey).