Socializing

[Thigil]

Recently I've found myself just not interacting with people and just waiting for them to interact with me. I have friends and we've known each other for three years now. I've just been finding myself saying nothing and just... standing there when they are all talking and actually doing things if you know what I mean. I'm usually the one to wait and not the one to actually try and start anything. I've actually been trying to be the one starting the conversation instead of waiting. I've also tried to join in as well. The thing is, whenever I do succeed in either of these things, I'm just pushed to the background. Now, onto my question: Does anyone have any advice for me so that I can be more sociable?

Edited September 5, 2017 by Thigil

[Candy]

Start by commenting on what others talk about (joking is also good, if it's a merry subject). Then, when they acknowledge your presence, start providing topics. For instance, if you feel like "topic A: new movie coming out" is dying out, change the subject slightly ("Oh by the way" "Something to note" are some common phrases I use to do this) to "topic B: actor Abcd's relationship etc". Do this whenever you feel like you can provide a related topic that you're comfortable talking about. If you don't have such topic, you can even totally change topics to "topic C: something weird happened in the airport" ("This is totally unrelated but" and "I just remembered I wanted to tel you about" are common phrases I use).

Hope that helps  - from a socially awkward but funny human

[Wolfox]

I'm like that myself, sometimes it's just hard to get into it. I'd say just do what candy said

[Brakk]

That is a tough question that depends on the character of the person/people of which you are interacting with. 

 

When you are trying to talk about a topic that doesnt suit you at all, well... it can only go wrong.

In any case, dont push yourself by trying to be always the one with the most attention. Most people like to talk about themselves and will like you when you listen to them and reply to what they've said.

If you are not comfortable while talking to certain people, you can always leave the conversation. You basically cant get all people to acknowledge or like you . Some People do also not always want to interact with you based on their mood or situation. 

 

In my case... I do often wait and listen to the person(s) for a couple of seconds, so that I can get the topic of their current conversation. If I feel like I want to join them, I start up with a funny aspect of the topic while I walk in their direction and depending on their reaction I walk up to them or past them (dont take this as an advice, if this does not fit your personality). 

 

[Dragoknight]

I have to say I've been there, and can really sympathize with what your saying...

 

Its difficult to go and talk to others, even old friends, when you feel left out like that. The best advice I can give is to try and talk about certain things you experience with others. If a new movie is coming out soon, try "that looks great, I really want to go see it. How 'bout you?" If you want to chime in on a conversation, try providing some feedback (or maybe a joke). If they push you back out of the conversation, the only advice I can really give is to just just try someone else. Just know that talking with others isn't just some innate ability that everyone was born with but you. Many people find it difficult to talk to others with whom they have had little experience with. And keep in mind that you always bring a unique perspective to the table. I'm sure many people out there would appreciate your input.

 

So keep in mind that your not the only one that feels that way, and keep a positive outlook.

Best of luck to you!

Edited September 6, 2017 by Dragoknight