Looking for beta readers for The Sapphire of Sacrifice

[Eviora]

Hi! I’m looking for people to beta read my novel, The Sapphire of Sacrifice. The novel has already been through several drafts and is the first in a trilogy. Aside from the many edits and adjustments I will doubtlessly have to make, the book is complete, so if you become a part of the process, you will eventually end up reading a full-length novel, beginning to end.

 

Premise

 

The story focuses on three characters living in Routley, a city that has been taken over by a demon called Pestilence, cut off from the rest of the world, and that is slowly filling from the ground up with gas that kill everyone who breathes it.

 

The primary protagonist, Rivia, is an immortal woman who came to Routley in search of an ancient gem, the titular sapphire, seeking to use it to purge the world of all the demons she has inadvertently summoned throughout her life and, by doing so, prove her worth to herself. She bears a great burden in the form of a mysterious, intangible entity of dubious intentions whose mind has been linked to her own for the majority of her life. Her arrival in Routley was strongly related to the onset of the disaster that now has befallen it.

 

Alex is a man in his mid-twenties who does his utmost to help the people of Routley despite his lack of supernatural abilities as self-imposed atonement for his failure to save someone very important to him on the day of Pestilence’s arrival. He struggles to cling to hope in a city that has long since been robbed of it. He is fiercely protective of his niece, Julia.

 

Julia is a sixteen-year-old prodigy who is obsessed with relic-technology, which focuses on the process of harnessing magic. She is wild, reckless, and unreasonably optimistic despite the world crashing down around her. She constantly wears an old, cheap necklace which she believes holds the soul of her dead twin sister, Elise, and speaks to it as if it were alive.

 

Together, these characters seek to defeat Pestilence, the behemoth who took over their city – and to understand the forces that brought about their city’s plight.

 

Warning

 

This novel contains a fair bit of violence without dwelling on it. You should also expect dark themes and at least one demon whose appearance could be considered grotesque.

 

About beta readers

 

Beta readers are readers with an interest in my book who are willing to provide honest feedback. No special credentials are required. Should you volunteer to be one, I will send you a few chapters at a time, which ought to generally be read within a week or so. (Generally, the chunks will be given in a size that would take me about 1 – 1.5 hours to read.) After you read, you should contact me to discuss your opinions regarding the chapters you read and anything else that’s relevant. That process will repeat until you finish the book; at the end, we’ll have a discussion about your opinions on the book in general.

 

By the way, it would be ideal for me to have a diverse pool of beta readers – and I need a lot! You don’t have to agree with me on everything to be a beta reader. =p I will not explicitly ask you for demographics, but I would appreciate any you’re willing to volunteer; I would like to cater to as wide a target audience is possible, and having feedback from many different perspectives is helpful.

 

Oh, and, um, just to be clear, I’m not paying you or anything, so only sign up for this if you’re really interested!

 

Requirements:

·         I will require a name and a means to contact you. The name doesn’t have to be your real one; just something I can use to refer to you. When the book gets published, that name is likely to end up in the “Special Thanks” section. You can always start by giving me a username and change it later if you want.

·         You must be able to give me honest and thorough feedback. In large part, I’ll want to know how you feel about things and why. I’m also interested in knowing whether you can predict the plot twists and which parts of the book are difficult to understand.

·         Let me know why you want to be a beta reader if you do! Also, what are your favorite genres?

·         You should be able to read the chapters I give you within about a week. If you occasionally take a bit longer, that’s fine; life happens. I get that.

·         Respect is extremely important. While I do need your brutally honest opinions regarding my work, that’s not an invitation to use me as a punching bag. =p

·         My book is copyrighted. Please don’t try to plagiarize my work in any way; if you do, it will be an enormous pain for all parties involved. I also ask that you discuss the contents of my novel with no one but me until it is released.

·         Beta reading is a casual process. You can decide to stop at any time. If you do, I would appreciate if you clearly let me know that you’re stopping – and, better yet, why you’re stopping.

·         The prologue and chapters 1-3 will be sent out as preliminary reading. After you read those and we discuss them, we can both decide how good a fit this process is for you.

 

If you read through all that, thank you for your patience! Please let me know if you have any questions; I would be shocked if I didn’t forget to include something important. If you’re interested in perhaps being a beta reader, please let me know, either via the comments or PM!

Edited September 17, 2017 by Eviora

[Daniel Blackworth]

I'm interested in beta reading your novel.

 

Name: Magister Divergent or Dive (for now)

Why I want to be a beta reader: I'm an avid reader of books (though I haven't read as many novels as of late due to life) and I have an interest in becoming a writer in the future, so I want to try and learn from people who are more knowledgeable when it comes to writing and observe how they write and what they do to reach their goals.

Favorite Genres: Fiction, Adventure, Romance, Magic

 

I'm not too familiar with the theme, but their may be commonalities in the supernatural theme with the Mortal Instrument series which I actually enjoyed, so I'm interested in seeing how the plot of your novel flows.

 

Edited September 17, 2017 by Magister Divergent

[Nyaagisa The Maid]

I'm also interested in reading beta version of your novel

Name: Nagisa Hideyoshi but you can call me Nagisa

I want to become a beta reader since I like to read light novels and like to explore the imaginative mind of creative writers through the original details that they include in their story. I am fond of stories that discuss various philosophical elements and contain large amount of world building details, that could connect the readers not just to characters but the world of the story itself.

Favorite Genres: Fiction, Adventure, Magic, Psychological, Occult, Myth

[BRS swag]

I'm interested in being a beta reader for your novel. 

Name: Sumanth

I want to be a beta reader coz I'd love reading novels. I'm fond of stories that are far from reality but also relatable to it, which I guess is how your story might turn out. I like the introduction you have given to your novel.

Favorite genres: Supernatural, Romance, Sci-Fi, Occult, Adventure, Fantasy, Poetry.

PM me for any updates. 

Edited September 17, 2017 by BRS swag

[Eviora]

Thank you all for your interest so far! I still need a lot more beta readers, so if you're interested, please don't hesitate to let me know!

[Jace Stormkirk]

a bard over hears someone talking about wanting to make a book and needs beta testing. grabbing a flyer that is joyously given to him he proceeds to read what the upcoming author want and what the book is about. he finds that his interest has been peek for it is a book that he can enjoy and give direct feedback to it's maker. 

he then returns back to fill out the application and receive some reading material for his personal supply has ran out. he approaches the author and says

 

"i would be honored to read your book. my name is Jace Stormkirk and some of the kind of books i enjoy to read are fantasy, mystery, fiction, action, and suspense. if a bard is know for anything it is that they speaks plainly to those that ask for ask for their help. if you find me a suitable beta-reader then send me a pm and i will give you a way to contact me" 

 

then with a flamboyant bow he walks away.

[BRS swag]

Nice. Bang on mate. Way to go, introducing like that.

[Nyaagisa The Maid]

Ah... I love this. I love this kind of apocalyptic and dystopian setting with good amount of both softcore and harcore gore. Below are my opinions on the current draft chapters of the novel and I am still lacking in knowledge to give good opinions. Thus, feel free to point out any of my mistakes.

 

THE STORY SO FAR:

Spoiler

The story so far is about an enigmatic young(?) lady, Rivia, who in search for a certain sapphire with a mental-linked entity named Aevryiel. Her search lead her to the city of Routley, that infested by demonic entity called, Pestilence, that spawns its youngs and deadly miasma, which forced the residents to live in hiding at the height of skyscrapers. She met a man called Alex and his niece(s), Julia and her necklace twin, Elise. With Julia's help, Rivia managed to get some clue on her lost sapphire while killing enemies that stands in her way, whether the Pestilence or humans.

 

SETTING:

 

Spoiler

I love the early world building of this novel. The description of a dystopian city, apocalyptic environment full miasma and Pestilence's spawn crawling on the surface, the very horrifying presence of Pestilence which is visible from any windows of the city, and showered by even more horrifying presence, the enigmatic Crimson Star, which shone it's demonic light to all beings underneath, exuding aura of fear as if showing that it's overseeing the city are vivid enough for me to imagine how it felt to live under constant alert, not just from the demonic beings but fellow residents as well. There's also description on how labyrinth-like inside the buildings, maybe due to constant renovations based on how cramped the space have became since the living quarters shifted to the upper levels of the city.

 

I also like the approach of underlying principles of magic. Instead of using the 'friendly' description like magic circuit, converting ether to mana or contracted with certain deities, the writer chose to use the occult-like, which aligned the use of magic power equals to evil by pointing out that magic is accessed by pleasing the demons with sacrifices. The more valuable the sacrifice, the stronger the magic you could access.

 

Up until now, the only use of magic shown is to create 'Relics', which are tools or weapons that engraved with magic incantations, and there's no direct spells without the use of relics, which is quite a letdown. The fact that all kinds of tools imbued with magic, regardless of what are their functions, is quite confusing for me. I hope there are distinctions between the Relics.

 

STORYTELLING:

Spoiler

The storytelling started out with quite fast pace but stable from Chapter 1 until the near-end of Chapter 3, where it slowed down. I thought the pace may related to how impatient Rivia is too find out the whereabouts of her sapphire, from her meeting with Alex until the incident at the Pestilential Market with Julia. The pace slowed as the day is about to end, which is logical, but it would be good if there's a little bit detail on how Rivia managed to find Julia's place without Alex's guidance.

 

I like the fast-paced, action packed scenes during the battle against Pestilence's young and Children of Demise. The actions of characters are described with understandable words for me to understand; and I am non-native speaker with bad vocabulary, with softgore elements which are not too vividly describe. In my opinion, if too much details are added into a fast-paced scenes, it could ruin the pace. And poor Julia, she couldn't keep up with all that.

 

The emotions of characters are decently conveyed. Details are more often given to Rivia because of her personality through monologues and Alex, which is quite sensitive when it comes about his nieces. The interesting part of the novel is the introduction of a passive antagonist, the Pestilence. The Pestilence, despite bringing demise onto Routley, is a pacifist enemy that wouldn't counter attack even when its spawns are killed. It rather sitting on top of the skyscraper which it chose to be its nest. It only attacks when enemies approach its nest.

 

There are some plot holes which are about Aevyriel, Inferno and the mayor, Derek Jairey. But since the story are still on it's early stages, I considered them as teasers to attract readers to further read the story. Besides, plot holes are mean to be filled, as long as the story are still going.

 

If I want to add more, the prologue chapter is rather confusing. It is until I finished the chapter that I realized the whole chapter is actually a recording.

 

 

CHARACTERS

Spoiler

Ah, my favorite part of the novel, Characters. I like the main cast already and below is what I think about them:

 

Rivia

IS THAT A BADASS LEGAL GOTH LOLI??!

Err, I mean that Rivia is deadly adorable, pun intended. Despite keeping a poker face all the time, she's quite emotional and impatient. She's a very strong combatant with decades of experience, maybe hundreds of years even. Yes, while she appears to be a young lady between 12-15 years old, she's actually at least 50 years of age. Of course, the result of that is caused by her immortality. She also has a very strong mental fortitude as she wouldn't hesitate to kill her enemies, even if they're just normal humans.

 

Even though she's matured in mentality, unlike most strong lady counterparts that prefers clothing that wouldn't be in their way of fighting, Rivia is the opposite. She wears long black dress that covers most of her body and quite fond of dresses. Even though she's a lady with strong mental fortitude, she's apparently quite girlsh for her age and didn't like to expose her body. She gets angry when Alex looked at her barely covered self and threatens him. She also hate tight clothes such as jeans and clothes that exposed certain amount of skin, like Elise's(?) knee length, sleveless dress, commented "Why couldn't the necklace have better taste (in dress)?". The contradictions in her character is quite adorable, for me.

 

Aevyriel

Aevyriel, Rivia's mind-linked companion which she call 'demon lord' and probably the source of her "shield's" power. He's akin to a sarcastic friend/boyfriend that always tries to make Rivia angry with his remarks. While his intentions is unknown, he apparently neither in humans' or demons' side, since he have no objection of Rivia killing demons.

 

Alex

Though appears emotional, I think Alex is one of the level headed charactes in the novel so far. He may lose his cool when it comes about his niece. In battle, he didn't affected by the numbers of human died to the Pelistence's young, instead, he focused on killing it.

 

Julia

The young relic-creating, genius girl. Despite living in the dystopian city ever since the Infestation incident, she managed to remain sane and liiving positively in Routley. And her talent in making a simple relic for washing to swiss army type would be crucial in the future stories as she's said to be even more capable than the scientist living in the city.

 

PREDICTIONS:

Spoiler

While it is confirmed that Rivia is the one who caused the Infestation incident in Routley when she was possessed by Aevyriel, I believe that she's the first person to experiment on magic and discover it, only to be possessed by Aevyriel, a long time ago before tragedy befalls Routley. She said Aevyriel is a 'demon lord' due to the fact that he's the one that released Pestilence and Crimson Star, and taught humans how to use magic. Aevyriel is most likely isn't a demon, but maybe a Fallen Angel instead since angels tend to have their names ends with -el prefix, and Fallen Angel isn't nice. The strength of magic used by Rivia also described as being at different level than what other humans could access, which could be related to what kind of entity that linked to Rivia's Relics.

 

She was hibernating somewhere for six years after Infestation and reached Routley not long after she woke up. The fact that she mentioned 'Inferno' and wanted to believe 'Inferno' is dead, this Inferno is most likely another "Four Horsemen of The Apocalypse" just like how Pestilence is described by Aevyriel, whom Rivia defeated before her hibernation. Seems like the sapphire she's looking for maybe a Relic she made but stolen, during her hibernation.

 

My prediction is Rivia was tricked by Aevyriel to get immense power of magic but she released "Four Horsemen of Apocalypse" during the process. Using the dagger Relics she made and the sapphire, Rivia go on journey to kill demons and the Four Horsemen, fixing her mistake. Shortly after her battle with Inferno, she fell into hibernation to recover her strength and it is during this time that her sapphire was stolen. From the looks of it, she was acquainted with the thief before the event and the sapphire was stolen when she fell into hibernation, indicating how precious or powerful the Sapphire is as it is capable of defeating Inferno.

 

And the mayor, Derek Jairey, most probably are in posession of the Sapphire. He's a man that tries to hold his influence over the city with both money and force. If he defeate Pestilence, his influence over the city will vanished and he will no longer become powerful, even with his immense wealth.

 

And, that's the end of my review. Sorry for the lengthy review and I hope all other beta readers could point out any of my mistakes as well...

[Eviora]

Update: I am still looking for more beta readers! If you're interested, please shoot me a PM!