Talking to people

[Amphibi]

So I’m really bad at talking to people, both starting and continuing a conversation. Most of the time I just don’t but there’s times I really want to or have to. Whenever I go to talk to someone, whether it’s in person, on the phone or even text based I spend way too much time thinking over what to say or how to say it. Does anyone have any strategies for this?

[Candy]

Don't think too much and say it, is my advice. If they're compatible with you, they'll roll off with anything you got to say

[Dragoknight]

I am exactly the same when it comes to conversations.

It may not be the best advice, but I find it best to not overthink how you want to put something and just say it really. You can always articulate your point later. Afterwards, it tends to come naturally.

[BandorKitty]

To start a conversation ask a question that the other person would be able to answer, like how was their day or what they did on the weekend. This will help give the conversation momentum so you can feed back on what they tell you and share your own experiences. If the conversation starts to lull, ask them another question about what they just told you, such as "you just said this... can you tell me more about it?". I think the key to a conversation is asking questions about the other person, but not getting too aggressive about it. A conversation is also like playing catch, once you catch the ball you should throw it back. After a while, it should come naturally to you and it won't take as long for you to think of what to say. 

 

Source: Am awkward irl. Always have, always will be. I just learn to hide it  

[Dartu-san]

Well I'm not gonna lie I also have some trouble starting up a conversation if it's on person, but only if it's with strangers. While online I have a much less introvert approach and tend to let my 'wild side' come out more often. My advice is to try and be natural about it. As other have said don't overthink what you are trying to say to others. With practice you'll start to learn certain patterns that each individual you deal with has. Of course starting up conversations with people with similar interests makes things much easier. Overall stay true to yourself and if others are not interested in that, then well leave dat convo and start another one. Hope what I've said has some use to you, cheers!

[Wolfox]

not gonna pretend it's easy, but here's what helps me when I wanna strike a conversation: I just turn part of my brain off so I don't think about what to say too much. I only let get a check for "is this appropriate?" and after that, I just blurt it out. note: this is a double-edged sword. sometimes your brain will tell you to start singing.

[PESH1]

I really liked @Maelstrom post on social icebreakers and I have bookmarked it. It is helpful in initiating a conversation.

[LemonJones]

Number one rule is not to overthink or let your imagination paint the whole god damn conversation in your head. Fucking thing makes you even more nervous. Be as weird as a purple lemon but be comfortable about it. Even if your first impression sucks, nobody labels that. Or if they do, they can go suck on some of the driest driftwood for all you should care.

Hey, if you're not annoying someone on purpose or being notoriously stupid and adamant  then you'll be fine.

 

 

[Felicity]

https://www.youtube.com/user/charismaoncommand

 

this channel has a lot of videos around topics like making small talk and carrying on conversations well, check it out.

 

Personally, just for off hand conversations, i find confidence is key. Speak clearly, make eye contact, mind your manners and then if your wit allows for it, crack a joke or make a comment. It's hard to go wrong so long as you generally project an aura of "hey, i'm friendly and competent."

[5hift]

I have pretty much the same problem.

 

After I meet someone new and introduce myself, there's always that awkward silence that comes afterward.

 

Introducing yourself is never enough to initiate conversation. You just gotta go in and get the ball rolling.

 

Don't put too much thought into everything you're going to say and don't be afraid. This isn't a job interview, first impressions shouldn't matter that much.