Insert title here

[TheLuca]

Again, sorry for my english.

 

I feel like some drama shit when I tell people to not make fun of me.

I feel so “hey bitch look at me Im special” everytime I repeat this to people.

I dont understand this whole “make fun of yourself” thing. How can someone make fun of me (in that good way) when I can barely make fun of myself? 

Listen, I was bullied whole elementary school (which is for 9 years in my country), both mentally and physically. People making fun of me (in that bad way ofc) were on my everyday plan. They lowered my self esteem to zero. After I went to art high school four years ago (now Im in my first year on college), my self esteem went little higher. I had a chance to start with clear shield. I met new people, I started cosplaying in my third year there, I figured out Im not straight.

Even when Im poor student with no money to afford good materials for cosplay and Im not that good at cosplaying because my stupid face, I met so many people through cosplay. Yes, cosplay community in my country is full of hate too, but there are some people, who struggling with life too and understands others and Im glad that I met them. Same for LGBT+ community.

Cosplay is huge thing for me because even when I cant be happy myself and I hate myself so much, I can be someone different and made other people smile, because Im cosplaying their favorite character. 

 

Now back on right way.

 

Even after this, my self esteem is still low. My anxiety is hitting me so hard. I cant make fun of myself or handle hate (even when its mild and for something completely stupid what other people overlook) because of all that elementary school shit. I can handle this fun from only two people, these two people were here for me in my darkest times three years ago and I can handle fun from them only because I know they mean it in a good way.

But I dont get that from other people. Even when they say it was a joke, I still feel bad.

I tend to left conversations because of that.

But people dont understand that.

They dont understand when I tell them that I dont like when someone is having fun of me. They tell me “oh my god, dont be so offended again jfc”. They call me selfish and egoistic, because they think my ego is so high that I propably think Im perfect and no one can make fun of me. 

I went through many “friendships” because this. So many people told me that. They did not believed me when I said Im not offended, Im just hurted. They were “yeah whatever” and “I dont want to talk with you, you would be offended again” later.

 

...

I sound like some important shit again.

 

Just please be gentle with me. I can be clingy and over reacting for sure, but in reality, Im just some really ugly potato who just wants other to be happy.

[Candy]

I understand your feelings but I'm not sure whether you have low self-esteem? I have low self-esteem because of many incidents but when ppl criticize or make fun of me I accept it because I have low self-esteem and nothing anyone says can lower it further. Can't get worse than "I believe I should be dead", right~  

Maybe your self-esteem isn't as far gone as you think it is, is what I'm trying to get at xD

So try to keep it up. Think about how you're not in elementary school anymore, and try to learn to have fun with jokes. It's part of life- anyone who starts to become frens with you will joke around you, thinking it's in good fun. One thing to remember is that at your age, no one's going to verbally abuse you to your face. If they make fun of you, 10/10 it's a joke.

I guess the popular opinion will be not to form relationships with those who don't understand your feelings, but if I said that I'd be dishonest~ so this is just my honest advice lol

[Wolfox]

self-esteem and confidence issues due to bullying. don't you love those? (this was a sarcastic question. nobody likes or loves those). Anyway, I had some issues with my confidence for quite a while (take 3 guesses to the cause. If you guessed bullying, you are correct), but those have started to resolve themselves. The best advice I could give is to at least 4 times a day say something nice to yourself, but not at the same time. at least 2-hour gaps. even if only a little, it will help quite a bit over time. Another thing that helped me was music. simply putting up some tunes always manages to calm my nerves and generally makes me Feel Good (Shake it, Shake it, Shake it... sorry. Got feel good inc stuck in my head). the hardest but most successful advice is to try and let the past go. don't let past you rule over new you. A way to remind yourself of this can be a minor appearance change (like a new hairstyle, a ring/necklace/bracelet, anything really) to remind you that you're changing from who you were. I did the same when I let my hair grow, as a sign that I was letting myself go to be myself (I'm not good with words. this is the best I got). Lastly, ask your friends to try and help. Explain the situation and ask if they can try to help. before you know you'll be cracking jokes about how bad your sense of direction is (or is that only me? I can't be the only one with the sense of direction of a potato, right?)

[Mysterious Fox Assassin]

Dear Luca, 

 

There's nothing wrong about not wanting to be made fun of. I struggle with this sometimes. Since I've been bullied for the duration of high school (As to how I survived that, I still couldn't tell you.), I've reached the point where I realized a few things. 

 

1) Humans aren't perfect. We're subject to error. It's those who have a malicious heart to expand upon that failure and use it as a weapon.

2) Jokes directed at a person only add heat to the already boiling water. Everyone's temperature is different; when you meet a person, you gotta know what their background(or temperature in this analogy) is. 

3) Most importantly, give yourself some love. Treat yourself in the best way that no one could.

 

I think it's also important to keep your closest friends close. Keeping distance between who's a potential friend and who's not might be helpful. All in all, the message I'm trying to drag across is to be your own best friend. In the end, the only one who can understand you is you. However, if you don't know yourself truly, then how will you be able to love yourself? I'm not saying that you should cut off your friends. Friends are wonderful if they have the similar experiences and personality as you, but it's important to be able to carry your light when you're behind closed doors. Finally, you are a wonderful individual that has such a creative mind. You aren't an ugly potato; you're a beautiful mango.