Pokemon Reborn Book Pool

[MadHappy]

From my previous topic, I said I will create a pool to determine the fate of my writing. 

Check the topic here to understand what I'm talking about.

[Thiazzi]

I've read Chapter One and it seems promising! Especially the start of the story was really good, so I voted the 'Write the Book!'-option.

 

Just one tip: personally, I don't really like reading scripts, so maybe you could put more quotes in one paragraph, instead of every paragraph containing just one line.

 

But anyways, I'd really like to read any future chapters, so good luck!

[NarutoK]

Hey there! @MadHappy

 

I'm all for the book! It sounds pretty interesting, but I have one piece of constructive criticism that I hope will help. I don't mean to offend your writing in any way by saying this:

 

While I was reading through the first chapter, I noticed that the lines of the characters and the events were identical to the story (apart from Jack's introduction). I'm not sure if this is the way that it's meant to be written, or if it's just the first chapter, but I would suggest adding more variety to the way everything plays out. Maybe add an extra tid-bit here and there, and change what the NPC's are saying, unless it's a trademark quote like Cain's.

 

That just what I'm proposing. You can write the story however you like! I'm just trying to help you. I'm not forcing you to listen to my ideas or anything

 

Hope that helps!