Family Stuff

[Mysterious Fox Assassin]

Hey everyone, 

 

I'm writing to you all today to share something I've kept hidden. I couldn't really talk about it before because it's hard for others to empathize to this, but it's come to a point where I must share my story with others. Keeping it to myself isn't healthy for me, and it only invites more and more suffering. It's about my "family". My supposed father (who I've come to bitterly hate) is causing me and other members of my family grief. He's selfish, manipulative, vindictive, and everything disgusting you'd see in a person. As a child to a parent, most people would expect for me to just grin and bear it until the situation got better. Well, it didn't. In fact, it got considerably worse. Something in me couldn't take it anymore, and it takes a lot for me to loathe a person to the point of detaching myself, especially if it's someone who you've given a part of your life to. I told him that I didn't consider him to be my father. The way he treated me and my mother was unforgivable. He started going on and on about the past and what he's done for me. Many people would normally say that I should apologize to him, but when you've actually met him, you'd understand why I say those things. All he cares about is taking care of himself. It's never about other people; it must always have a benefit to him in some way. He has made some attempts to reassure his "father" position in my life, but I've shut him out a number of times so that he knows I was serious. He has what I call a "god" complex. He feels as if he can't do any wrong. It's always some other factor or person that did the deed. I've grown to hate him so much the more time he's in the vicinity. 

 

This experience has not only been scarring for my mother, but it is also been scarring to me. While I'm not the one whose isn't receiving the brunt of his idiocy, my siblings and I are getting the backlash of it. He can't even take care of the kids who still trust him. Everything is always up to his knowledge and his judgment. Even when my siblings are sick, he doesn't even care for them or give the least bit of concern. If things were up to him, we would have nothing. Because of his god complex, he feels like no one except him deserves the best. 

 

I'm just tired. He's the reason why I've changed negatively over the years. When I told my aunt about this, she was surprised that I didn't need therapy after all he's put us through. Anyone with eyes and common sense knows that what he did to me, my mother, and my siblings was wrong. I haven't even told my friends, but my mother's friends know that she's going through with him, and they look at him with scorn and even anger. People often say that they wish they had a father, but in my case, it'd be better if I didn't have one at all. I would've lived a lot better if I didn't know him. The worst part is that he won't leave. He always wants to fit in any space we have in our family, and we constantly have to push him out. He's like a child trapped in a man's body, and those are the people I hate the most.  

 

I endlessly hope for the day that I never have to see him again. It's just so hard to live in the same house as him and expect me to not want to be blunt with him. It's not something I take pride in, and it's not something I could tell my real life friends either. The people  I know either met him before or worked with him with volunteer work. I've grown so withdrawn from people in general. I just feel so damaged; it's as if like I'm trying to hide my brokenness between a smile and calming demeanor, but really, I want to just break down and cry. I never wanted this; we never wanted any of this. I'm tired of living this double life where I have to be this perfect little angel and this messed-up demon at the same time. It's why I've stayed away from people all this time. Sometimes, I question if I'll ever have a normal relationship with anyone ever again. Who drew up this sick plan where we all have to suffer terrible family situations? I just hope I can keep going after this; this is just too much for me to handle.

[Maqqy]

Hi there. Believe me when I say that, I understand. I too, am forced to live with an incredibly, unbelievably, very toxic person in one roof. It also happens to be a family member. I know that feeling when in certain situations, you have no control whatsoever and all you could do is just sit down and take it all in. It's very hard that you feel like you're suffocating. It takes a toll on your mental health and life is hard enough as it is, this type of crap blows on your face and makes it harder even more. So I would just like to say to you that you WILL overcome this. Not to mention that you have your mom and your siblings, those who you can rely on and be there for you in times like this. It may not come immediately, but it will come to pass. In my case, I just chose to completely cut off myself from that person. It was not easy, as I see this person everyday and have to interact with this person on a basis but eventually, I did it. This person's attitude, words and actions, doesn't faze me anymore. What I'm saying is if your dad really isn't worth keeping in your life anymore as you said, then you need to learn to free yourself from him. The only way to do that however, is to forgive him. Remember, you are not forgiving him for his sake or anyone else's but for yours only. It's not fair right? Because he doesn't deserve it. Yet, it's essential. If you really want to keep going in life, you have to ultimately leave your hatred from him because you will never move on. So I implore you that it may be very hard, but find that strength to finally forgive him and cut ties with him for good. Not as easy as it sounds, but you could do it. Considering your experiences, you are strong to have faced all of those. You also have many people on your side so you don't need to worry. Be brave, life is bigger than you know and don't let your father hinder you from this vast world. Rid yourself to the things that keeps you from growing. Show your father that despite all his douchebagness, you were able to become the person you wanted to be. Wishing you all the best. Good luck!

[GenEric]

those are literally traits of a psychopath

get your family away from him